Third Period Break Down

We stood outside of the dressing rooms, where all the families usually wait for the players to come out. My jersey was now hung over my purse, as I was wearing my team Canada sweater which had been underneath. You could tell the parents were searching for the right thing to tell their sons, but what can you really say to them. I saw the tsn cameras further away; I guess they wanted to catch the moment when the guys would see their families on tape.

I still had a couple of tears in my eyes, and I knew the second I saw their faces up close and gave some of them hugs that those tears would fall again, but I didn’t care. I checked my purse before they came out, I wanted to make sure that I had my little gift for Casey, which was a teddy bear.

The story behind this is that, the two of us went to the fall fair a couple of years ago and we won this teddy bear. Of course Casey gave it to me, but we decided that it would be like our little “thing”, if you get what I mean. Whenever something bad was happening, we would give it to the other person, until either one of us needed it next. I remember that this really came into play when Casey was going through some trouble last year, and that teddy bear helped. I just hoped that me bringing the bear all the way from Mississauga would give him something to laugh about.

I guess the guys did their interviews before they came out since everyone had to wait a while longer. Finally some of the guys started to come out of the dressing room, most still had on their jerseys and medals. It broke my heart to see their faces, many still red from crying and the hurt in their eyes.

We hugged a couple of the guys that walked past us, not saying anything really. Both knowing silently what words would have been exchanged. I had just finished giving Curtis a hug and telling him that he had a great tourney, when I saw Erik walk out of the dressing room. I waved to him, in which he waved back.
I let him go over to his family first, since I knew he hadn’t seem his brother in almost 3 weeks and that all six of them hadn’t been able to spend the holidays together, and I knew in my heart that I should let them have a moment together. I walked over to where Casey was with his parents, my dad had already gone over since him and Casey’s dad where really good friends. I walked over and poked him in the back as I waved and said hello to his parents. His face looked so sad, that a single tear rolled down my cheek as I gave him a hug.
“I’m so proud of you buddy” I said as I cried a little.
He didn’t say anything much except “thank you” as we stood there in a hug.
When we broke a part I said with a smile “I have something for you”
“Oh jeez, what could it possibly be” he said as he watched curiously as I opened my bag.
I pulled out the teddy bear, of course our parents still didn’t really understand the whole reasoning for us passing this back and forth between each other but I think at this moment in time they finally got it. We moved away from our parents for a second so that we could have one of our best friend moments, like you see in the movies.

“I thought you may want this” I said as I handed him the bear.
“Only you would bring that thing all the way to buffalo” he said as he laughed but I could tell that the laugh was somewhat forced and that he wasn’t ready to be smiling just yet. “But really, thank you. Your one of the greatest friends a person could ask for, and I’m happy that you’re here, especially since all this really sucks, and that I feel like such a failure right now.” I knew that this was really hard for him especially since he had really wanted to win.
“Case, you know I’ll always be here no matter what. And you are not failure don’t ever call yourself that, you had such a great tournament. Keep your chin up; because you have made so many people proud remember that.” We hugged again, and I could somewhat tell that he was crying, but I just let him cry on my shoulder like any best friend would do. He raised his head and wiped his eyes. He told me he’d talk to me after, and he went back over to where his parents where, still holding the bear.

I looked over and saw Rachael with Marcus; he was sitting on the bench hunched over with his head in his hands with Rachael kneeling in front of him. I knew he was probably taking this pretty hard, Casey had said that Marcus didn’t even bother going out and talking to the media. It seemed as if Rachel was the only person he was going to talk to right now, he didn’t have anyone else here, his brother was with the Senators playing and his dad was with the Ducks in Anaheim.

Erik was standing, waiting for me I guess. A million things were running through my head as I walked over. I saw the tsn cameras were filming everyone, but I really didn’t care at this point, all I wanted to do was try and make these guys feel better about themselves. As I began to walk over, I could see his eyes were red and tear stained, it broke my heart to see him this upset.
“Erik I am so so proud of you” was all I said as I engulfed him in a hug. As he cried, I tried to hold myself together but, really it was a lost cause at this point. He pulled back and said “Don’t be proud of me, we lost and silver is nothing to be proud of. We had it, I don’t want any pity. We let down everyone, especially our country” he began to turn and walk away.
I grabbed his arm and turned him around and stood in front of him so that he was looking right in my eyes. “Nothing to be proud of…” a couple of tears ran down my face. “I will always be proud of you no matter what, many people didn’t think that you’d get this far and to get silver is a huge accomplishment. Who cares what other people say, they weren’t playing and neither did they have all this pressure on them. I know this sucks right now and that you really wanted gold but please be proud of yourself because I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this. I love you ok”, after I had finished I gave him a kiss.

“Ok…I love you too”

Nothing more was said, nothing really had to be said. I stayed by Erik’s side for the rest of the night, except for when he had to go do some interviews, in which I talked to Casey. For a couple of minutes I was by myself, waiting for Erik to finish his last interview, after which we could go meet up with our families. I thought I would check my facebook since I knew people would be writing on my wall. I checked my news feed and saw that many people basically turned their backs on the team and it disgusted me.

I know people were upset that they had lost, but really they didn’t know really how it felt to lose gold. I had just had to see 22 guys that I care about upset and crying and that was really hard. I thought it was appropriate to write something on my status to shut these people up. I wrote a huge paragraph which basically said;

“Wow, its real nice how people cheer one minute and bitch/complain the next. Everyone might be really upset that Canada lost, but really you have no freaking clue how it feels. Try having to face 22 guys after a loss like that, and trying to insure them that they didn’t let down their country. I’m damn freaking proud of how far these guys have gone, and how all of them have bonded. The outcome might not have been what everyone wanted, but we shouldn’t just expect Gold, we should be proud of the players that wear red and white. That take pride in wearing the maple leaf, and play hard every night. Love my team Canada guys, and no matter what at the end of the day I’m proud to be Canadian.”

I clicked send, just as Erik was walking over.
“What have you been doing all this time?”
“This…..” I said as I turned around my phone and showed him what I had wrote.
He smiled a little, and looked me in the eyes and mouthed “I love you”
I mouthed “I love you too” back.
He gave me a quick kiss as we walked out hand in hand out of the arena.

I knew that this loss was going to take a while to get over, but Erik would soon feel better. I wouldn’t try and rush him, since I really don’t know how it feels to lose, especially in a huge tournament like this. I looked up at him, as we walked towards our families. I was pretty lucky to be in the relationship that I’m in. But as soon as we left, tomorrow he would be going back to Kingston and I would be going back to Mississauga, I knew it was coming and that I wouldn’t be seeing him for some time and I really wasn’t ready for this, after seeing him so much for the last month. But I might as well enjoy the time that I have left with him.