Maybe It'll Come Tomorrow

The winter was cold in the city. In south Jersey the temperatures were freezing, and there was dirty snow everywhere. Only right after a snow has fallen is the city beautiful to me. It’s like a clean blanket thrown over to cover the mess and the grime. Every time I see the white crystals fall from the sky I hope they stay forever, and will always cover up the filth. It never does.

As I walked home from school I kept my hands in my dark navy sweatshirt. Two sweatshirts and old jeans struggled to keep the cold at bay. Slowly, but surely, older houses started to come into view. The broken homes were both visionally and emotionally. The small flat had flaking red paint, and a broken screened front door which swung open at night if the wind was really whipping. “Hello?” My voice echoed through the quiet house as I stepped gingerly through the door. Throwing my bag to the ground I waited for an answer back.

“Bran?” My mom’s voice called from in her room. I sighed realizing I wouldn’t have the house to myself for once. But at least there’s no moaning.

“Ya Ma?” I called back. Walking down the hall to her room I took a quick look at the pictures of me throughout my childhood. I looked, happy. Then there were also pictures of Jenna, which still causes me to sigh.

Entering my mother’s bedroom I waited for a request or a shallow question. “How does this dress look?” Honestly? It looked like she was putting a couple too many potatoes in a black skanky sack. Her reddish brown hair was up nicely, so that was a plus. The makeup that was strewn across her eyelids and over her lips seemed unnecessary with her natural dark lips and black eyelashes. The heavy makeup hid the softness of her brown eyes. But that’s not what I’d say.

“Good.” I lied, “Going on a date?” She smiled as she nodded. My mother was pretty when I was younger. But after my Dad left, it went downhill from there. Her face started to become more sullen and the bright smile I remember disappeared. Lines were more noticeable near her eyes and on her forehead. Then Jenna’s accident happened, and she became a mess; her normally tamed hair because wild and crazy and her need for attention and love became desperate, so that’s what her wardrobe called for. I smiled back, and secretly hoped she wouldn’t be home tonight. Let her get laid so she’s chill for a few days. I don’t care anymore.

“You can watch Michael right?” Of course I’d have to watch little Mikey. I nodded and walked out of her room, letting her continue getting ready.

I walked into the small living room next to our even smaller kitchen and found Mikey right where he should have been. “Hey Mike, whatcha watching?” I sat beside him on our beer and sex stained couch.

Looking up at me he smiled and then looked back at the TV. He never talks. Ever since he was three and saw Jenna on the ground he hasn’t said a word. Looking back up at the shitty television I fixed my eyes on the SpongeBob episode.

Twenty minutes later I looked at Mikey who was looking back at me. I secretly think he can read minds sometimes. “You got homework bud?” He nodded while getting up from the couch and went over to his tiny backpack. He took out his red folder and put it on the old aluminum table and sat down, waiting for me.

“Brandy! Make sure Mikey goes to bed.” I nodded as I walked past her sitting next to him. Reading sheet and a math sheet. It was going to be a breeze. She kissed us both tenderly on the head and walked out of the house, but not before yelling, “’I’ll be home late.” Of course.

Mikey’s light brown hair reminded me of my Dad sometimes, and it severely contrasted my Mom’s burgundy color and was slightly different then my mousey brown. His face still had the baby chubbiness to it, but it was balanced out by his lanky frame. “Alright, which one do you want to start with?” I looked down at the sheets, knowing he would just point to one. Reading it is. Helping him just a little bit when he needed it, Mikey flew through the sheet. Even though he was only eight, and second grade homework wasn’t that hard, he was a smart kid. But because he doesn’t talk nobody would know it.

As we continued with math I looked over at my bag near the door, knowing I had a few subjects of homework that had to be done. “Mikey, is it okay if I start my homework? If you need me I’ll help you.” He turned to me with the same dark green eyes that I have, nodded and went back to his work.

That’s how the night carried on, and it was normal for us. Just me and Mikey, comfortable silence between us as we did what we know we needed to do to get out of this city.

--

Making sure Mikey went to bed in his tiny room I sighed as I turned the light off. Mom still wasn’t home, and I didn’t expect her to be until the morning. She has officially gotten laid. Good for her, I guess. Walking to the short hall, I entered my room. Jenna’s bed was still there. Mikey uses it when he has nightmares though, so it’s not like it’s her ghost bed or something.
My phone lit up on top of my bed, so I skipped over to see who texted me. Him. Mr. Grayson Rundell. He’s the school supplier, and the party man. He’s ‘Mr. One Night Stand’. He’s been my secret best friend. And he’s the boy I’m completely head over heels for. He’s the guy whose never going to love me.

Hey Babes. You coming over tonight? We have our pity parties once a week. He supplies the drugs, I supply the company. I texted back a ‘yes’ and started to throw on a blue sweater over my gray singlet. I threw old chucks on and slipped out the front door, taking a key with me after locking it. Reaching into my jean pocket I grabbed an unboxed cigarette and found my lighter in my back pocket.

I hate the fact that I smoke. It’s a terrible habit. But, it’s one that I keep private and don’t let anyone in on. Except Gray. He knows all the faults that I have. Even the scar on the inside of my thigh from when I was little. Did I mention that Gray was a really good lay?
Anyway, as I got farther away down the street from my house I got farther into the depths of the city, being surrounded by large buildings and sleazy men with their bought whores. As I got closer to the Pharmacy, I took a quick right into the ally before the door. A single red light could be seen at the end. I took out the cigarette from my lips and threw it to the ground aggressively, stomping it out as I got further into the tight ally.

“’ey.” I called to Gray as my eyes got used to the dark of the ally. Slowly his features got clearer to me. He nodded as he passed me the joint in between his lips, and pulled out another from his front pocket and lit it.

“How’s it hanging?” He finally broke the silence as he leaned against the same wall I was. I shrugged and looked at the clouds that seemed to slow down as I continued to smoke. He just nodded and rolled his head back looking at the black sky. My eyes were fixed on his lips. The joint rested calmly between them as he thought, probably about the girl he did this afternoon.

He continued to look away as I scanned his face. A rugged 5 O’ Clock shadow was starting around his jaw and met his reddened lips in a drastic color change. His eyes closed as his head slowly faced downwards. His hand slid into his hair and tousled his black mess. He was hot to say the least.

Pulling the joint from his lips he sighed out smoke as he lifted his gaze towards me, and pierced me with his sea colored eyes. “Bran, how the fuck to I get Dana to leave me alone?” He asked sincerely. Not most people witness this side of Gray. Usually, they get the cocky, over powering, charming, and alluring side. I get to see his worried thoughts, his curious expressions, and needy tendencies.

Shrugging, I too took the joint out from between my lips. “Ignore her, or straight up tell her you’re not getting into a relationship.” I answered while meeting his eyes with mine. He nodded in understanding, and then put the burnt end of his joint to the ground and smothered it with the bottom of his boot. I stood up as well, copying his movements.

“Well I’m going to head home. Dad should be home soon from the bar, and I don’t want to be away from my mom when he does.” I nodded, understanding his rough situation. Walking my way out of the ally I started to giggle to myself over nothing. The pot took over my brain as I walked home, and it stayed with me well after as I lay in bed.