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Status: It may be over, but I still want to hear you guys' comments!
Operation Beautiful
my boxers happen to be batman
“We’re home!” Matt booms as we step inside the house. I’m an exchange student from Belgium, so while I’m here I’m staying with Matt. He leaps into the kitchen and leans over to give his little sister hug.
“Hey, I’m making coo-- AH!” She pushes him away in shock. “Please tell me you’re wet because you just stepped out of the shower.” He twirls her around so she can see his sweat-soaked practice clothes.
“I just stepped out of the shower,” he says with a wink, before bounding up the stairs. She shudders and sees me in the doorway.
“Hey, Corey.”
“Hey, Jessica.” Jessica’s just a year younger than us. “Are you making cookies?”
“Yup,” she says. “I’m having a sleepover tonight.” Oh. It’s Friday.I can feel my head start to pound. A bunch of crazy junior girls in our house...uy. “You can help if you want, since Matt’s probably already in the shower.”
“Sure.” I wash my hands with soap and dry all the way up my arms. She cuts out the shapes, I put them on the tray. We work in relative silence. I’m not very good with girls. Haley never made me nervous because she wasn’t very much like a girl in the first place. She was perfectly straight-forward. If we were at the mall and I noticed her staring at a particular dress and offered to buy it for her, a no meant no. It didn’t mean “I’m just being nice. In reality I do want it and if you aren’t smart enough to go buy it for me right now I am going to be in a pissy mood on the way home.” Then again...the old Haley never said what she really wanted. So she could have really wanted that dress. The point was that she never blamed me for taking her words at face value. And when I said something stupid or the words just came out wrong, she ignored it or just laughed. That definitely put me at ease. Other girls? Regular crazy hormonal ones? Ugh, they scared the crap out of me.
“All finished,” she says with a smile, popping the tray into the preheated oven. “The girls will probably want to make the next batch themselves.” I just nod.
“Uh, how many girls are coming?” I ask. Jessica counts on her fingers.
“Umm...about 15.” An involuntary shudder runs through me.
“I think I’ll go take a shower,” I say, edging towards the stairs. She nods and starts cleaning some of the baking supplies.
“Matt!” I yell, pounding on the door.
“What?” he asks finally, throwing open the door. He’s wearing nothing but a towel.
“There are fifteen junior girls coming for a sleepover,” I say breathlessly. His face goes pale and he clutches the towel tighter around his waist, as though afraid some girl will pop out from behind the corner and snatch it away.
“Are they here yet?” I shake my head. Matt disappears for a minute and then comes back, fully clothed. He bounds down the stairs yelling.
“Mom! Corey and I are going to sleepov--” He stops as he sees both his parents at the door, each with an overnight kit.
“Hey,” Mrs. Ramsey says with a smile. “Matt, honey, your dad and I thought it would be a great time to go visit my sister. She lives about twenty minutes away, but she’s having some trouble with the newborn baby so we thought we’d go help out a bit.”
“So you want us to monitor the sleepover,” Matt says with a sigh. You know its a bad omen when the parents would rather spend the evening with a screaming newborn that wasn’t theirs than be here with us.
Half an hour after they leave, the doorbell starts ringing. First is Jessica’s best friend, Emmaleigh. I’ve never actually talked to her, she’s about as shy with everyone as I am with girls. Then comes trouble. The Rangler twins. Really pretty, really talkative, really...annoying. These two were going to cause all the problems tonight, I could guarantee it. As the living room filled with more and more girls, Matt and I headed upstairs to hide in the cover of the game room. Hours of homework and video gaming later we here some squeals from downstairs.
“What time is it?” Matt asks with a moan.
“11:00pm,” I said. If this sleepover was going to go like any of the other ones Jessica’s had, then the girls were probably on a sugar high. Things were going to start getting really crazy.
“NOOOOOO!” We hear from downstairs. “NO! NO! NO!” Definitely Jessica.
“YES!” cackled someone else. “SHE CAN’T BACK DOWN NOW!”
“Truth or Dare,” Matt and I said at the same. And if Jessica’s upset then it’s going to be a dare about one of us.
“Stealing your boxers,” Matt guesses with a yawn.
“Sneaking up on you in the shower tomorrow morning,” I reply. Matt looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
“You’re more devious than they are. Well...maybe not. I should probably get you to guard the bathroom door tomorrow.”
Suddenly, the downstairs gets quiet. Too quiet. And we hear nervous footsteps start up the stairs.
“EMMALEIGH GET YOUR BUTT BACK DOWN HERE!” Jessica again.
“Stop, Jess. The neighbors will call the police,” We hear a much quieter but closer voice say. “I’ll be back down in a minute.”
“You can’t let them know it’s a dare,” we hear someone smirk. Yeah, because we totally have no idea. We think Emmaleigh’s the kind of girl to just walk in and--
“Um...hi,” there’s a knock at the door. “It’s Emmaleigh, do you mind if I come in?”
“Only if you want to see me naked,” Matt calls back, waiting.
“Um, no thanks. I’ll just wait. Let me know when I can come in.” Matt and I raise an eyebrow at one another. Was she sane or diabolical? It’s hard to tell with 16 year old girls on a sugar high.
“We’ll let her wait for a bit,” Matt whispers to me. A litmus test, I suppose. We stare at the clock and wait. Three minutes later we hear another knock.
“Um, guys, you must be busy...doing whatever. I’ll come back in a bit.” Matt jumps up and opens the door.
“No, it’s fine, I’m decent now. Why don’t you come in?” She nods and comes in, looking at the snacks we have littering the floor. Popcorn, candy and an untouched plate of fruits and veggies Matt’s mom told us to bring up.
“Do you mind if I take one?” she asks, pointing to the plate. Matt shakes his head.
“You like vegetables?” I ask in surprise. She drops the baby carrots and starts to stutter.
“I, uh, after all that sugar...it’s kinda nice to have something different.” Matt shrugs.
“Go for it. I think Corey was the only one who was going to finish it.”
“I have a thing for carrots,” I explain. She stops, a carrot half-way to her mouth.
“I didn’t take too many did I?”
“You’re fine,” I say. She nods and starts nibbling on the carrots. A bunch of giggling starts from downstairs. Emmaleigh closes her eyes tightly.
“Mind if I shut the door?”
“Please do,” says Matt with a groan. I can see her speed walk to the door, but not before we hear the hysterical giggling escalate.
“What are they, making out up there?”
“SHUT UP!” Jessica again. Emmaleigh turns bright red as she shuts the door. She sits back down on the floor and continues eating her carrots.
“So...” says Matt, the atmosphere suddenly very awkward. “What are you here for?” She shrugs.
“To hang out?” Matt starts laughing.
“Yeah,” he says, wiping a tear away. “And I’m the tooth fairy. Look if you need our boxers, mine’ll be the navy blue ones in the top drawer of the dresser on the right and Corey’s will be the Wonder Woman ones in the dresser to the left.” I glare and throw a piece of celery at him.
“My boxers happen to be Batman,” I say in all seriousness. “Yours are the freakish cat-woman ones.” Suddenly, I realize that Emmaleigh is right here. I feel my cheeks heat up.
“Um...boxers aside...” Emmaleigh says quietly.
“Not boxers? Come on! That’s classic dare material!” says Matt in surprise.
“It was until you guys started buying the most ridiculous boxers for each other just for the dares,” Emmaleigh says. She starts to giggle. “Where did you find Ronald MacDonald boxers? Wait--I actually don’t want to know.”
“But I got Corey some really good boxers for today,” Matt says with a pout. I raise my eyebrows. Really, now? He goes into his room and comes back with a piece of rolled up cloth in his hand. He unfurls it like a flag to reveal...
Well, the boxers have the pattern of women’s underwear on it. Like, it’s got bare lady legs and some low riding pink panties on top. I stare at it in shock, and then hear this strangled choke from behind me.
Emmaleigh is laughing. Laughing so hard that tears are rolling from her eyes and she’s using her fist to pound the floor. Matt starts laughing too.
“I’m sorry...” she gasps. “But the idea of any guy wearing those is just...” I feel a chuckle rise up in my throat and we all start roaring with laughter. “Should I...should I take them down and say they’re Corey’s? They’ll probably let me off th--” She stops suddenly. I snatch the offending boxers away and sit on them.
“NO!” I yell. “Those girls all go to our school! There’s no way!” Matt wipes his eyes.
“Whatever, man. But what’s the real dare?” Emmaleigh looks down at the floor, her laughter fading.
“I, uh...”
“Come on, Em. We’ll help you out,” Matt says. “Promise. If it was one of those other girls...”
“I’m supposed to kiss one of you,” she says quickly, not looking up. Matt and I look at each other. And then at this, what, 16? 17? year old girl before us.
“Not it!” We both yell simultaneously. And then the arguing begins.
“Dude, you totally yelled after me!”
“Are you kidding me? Please! I yelled like five minutes before you!”
“Exaggerator much?”
“Well, I sure as hell am not kissing her!”
“You think I am? I’d rather kiss a moose!”
“I’d rather kiss a horse!”
“EMMALEIGH WATSON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU--” Jessica stops suddenly. “Oh.” She clutches her chest and collapses against the door. “Thank God, I thought that you guys were--” she stops suddenly. Matt and I look over at Emmaleigh, who’s still looking extremely resolutely at the floor. And she’s probably redder than a tomato. Is she...is she crying? Jessica comes and grabs her arm.
“I don’t care if you went through with the bet or not,” she says resolutely. “I’ll tell them you did, okay? Let’s go.” She puts her arm around her friend and leads her out. “She’s really shy,” she mouths at us. “Don’t worry about it.” The door shuts and Matt and I look at one another.
“We made her cry didn’t we?” I say suddenly. Matt falls to the floor and throws a pillow over his face.
“Oh, shit.”
“Hey, I’m making coo-- AH!” She pushes him away in shock. “Please tell me you’re wet because you just stepped out of the shower.” He twirls her around so she can see his sweat-soaked practice clothes.
“I just stepped out of the shower,” he says with a wink, before bounding up the stairs. She shudders and sees me in the doorway.
“Hey, Corey.”
“Hey, Jessica.” Jessica’s just a year younger than us. “Are you making cookies?”
“Yup,” she says. “I’m having a sleepover tonight.” Oh. It’s Friday.I can feel my head start to pound. A bunch of crazy junior girls in our house...uy. “You can help if you want, since Matt’s probably already in the shower.”
“Sure.” I wash my hands with soap and dry all the way up my arms. She cuts out the shapes, I put them on the tray. We work in relative silence. I’m not very good with girls. Haley never made me nervous because she wasn’t very much like a girl in the first place. She was perfectly straight-forward. If we were at the mall and I noticed her staring at a particular dress and offered to buy it for her, a no meant no. It didn’t mean “I’m just being nice. In reality I do want it and if you aren’t smart enough to go buy it for me right now I am going to be in a pissy mood on the way home.” Then again...the old Haley never said what she really wanted. So she could have really wanted that dress. The point was that she never blamed me for taking her words at face value. And when I said something stupid or the words just came out wrong, she ignored it or just laughed. That definitely put me at ease. Other girls? Regular crazy hormonal ones? Ugh, they scared the crap out of me.
“All finished,” she says with a smile, popping the tray into the preheated oven. “The girls will probably want to make the next batch themselves.” I just nod.
“Uh, how many girls are coming?” I ask. Jessica counts on her fingers.
“Umm...about 15.” An involuntary shudder runs through me.
“I think I’ll go take a shower,” I say, edging towards the stairs. She nods and starts cleaning some of the baking supplies.
“Matt!” I yell, pounding on the door.
“What?” he asks finally, throwing open the door. He’s wearing nothing but a towel.
“There are fifteen junior girls coming for a sleepover,” I say breathlessly. His face goes pale and he clutches the towel tighter around his waist, as though afraid some girl will pop out from behind the corner and snatch it away.
“Are they here yet?” I shake my head. Matt disappears for a minute and then comes back, fully clothed. He bounds down the stairs yelling.
“Mom! Corey and I are going to sleepov--” He stops as he sees both his parents at the door, each with an overnight kit.
“Hey,” Mrs. Ramsey says with a smile. “Matt, honey, your dad and I thought it would be a great time to go visit my sister. She lives about twenty minutes away, but she’s having some trouble with the newborn baby so we thought we’d go help out a bit.”
“So you want us to monitor the sleepover,” Matt says with a sigh. You know its a bad omen when the parents would rather spend the evening with a screaming newborn that wasn’t theirs than be here with us.
Half an hour after they leave, the doorbell starts ringing. First is Jessica’s best friend, Emmaleigh. I’ve never actually talked to her, she’s about as shy with everyone as I am with girls. Then comes trouble. The Rangler twins. Really pretty, really talkative, really...annoying. These two were going to cause all the problems tonight, I could guarantee it. As the living room filled with more and more girls, Matt and I headed upstairs to hide in the cover of the game room. Hours of homework and video gaming later we here some squeals from downstairs.
“What time is it?” Matt asks with a moan.
“11:00pm,” I said. If this sleepover was going to go like any of the other ones Jessica’s had, then the girls were probably on a sugar high. Things were going to start getting really crazy.
“NOOOOOO!” We hear from downstairs. “NO! NO! NO!” Definitely Jessica.
“YES!” cackled someone else. “SHE CAN’T BACK DOWN NOW!”
“Truth or Dare,” Matt and I said at the same. And if Jessica’s upset then it’s going to be a dare about one of us.
“Stealing your boxers,” Matt guesses with a yawn.
“Sneaking up on you in the shower tomorrow morning,” I reply. Matt looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
“You’re more devious than they are. Well...maybe not. I should probably get you to guard the bathroom door tomorrow.”
Suddenly, the downstairs gets quiet. Too quiet. And we hear nervous footsteps start up the stairs.
“EMMALEIGH GET YOUR BUTT BACK DOWN HERE!” Jessica again.
“Stop, Jess. The neighbors will call the police,” We hear a much quieter but closer voice say. “I’ll be back down in a minute.”
“You can’t let them know it’s a dare,” we hear someone smirk. Yeah, because we totally have no idea. We think Emmaleigh’s the kind of girl to just walk in and--
“Um...hi,” there’s a knock at the door. “It’s Emmaleigh, do you mind if I come in?”
“Only if you want to see me naked,” Matt calls back, waiting.
“Um, no thanks. I’ll just wait. Let me know when I can come in.” Matt and I raise an eyebrow at one another. Was she sane or diabolical? It’s hard to tell with 16 year old girls on a sugar high.
“We’ll let her wait for a bit,” Matt whispers to me. A litmus test, I suppose. We stare at the clock and wait. Three minutes later we hear another knock.
“Um, guys, you must be busy...doing whatever. I’ll come back in a bit.” Matt jumps up and opens the door.
“No, it’s fine, I’m decent now. Why don’t you come in?” She nods and comes in, looking at the snacks we have littering the floor. Popcorn, candy and an untouched plate of fruits and veggies Matt’s mom told us to bring up.
“Do you mind if I take one?” she asks, pointing to the plate. Matt shakes his head.
“You like vegetables?” I ask in surprise. She drops the baby carrots and starts to stutter.
“I, uh, after all that sugar...it’s kinda nice to have something different.” Matt shrugs.
“Go for it. I think Corey was the only one who was going to finish it.”
“I have a thing for carrots,” I explain. She stops, a carrot half-way to her mouth.
“I didn’t take too many did I?”
“You’re fine,” I say. She nods and starts nibbling on the carrots. A bunch of giggling starts from downstairs. Emmaleigh closes her eyes tightly.
“Mind if I shut the door?”
“Please do,” says Matt with a groan. I can see her speed walk to the door, but not before we hear the hysterical giggling escalate.
“What are they, making out up there?”
“SHUT UP!” Jessica again. Emmaleigh turns bright red as she shuts the door. She sits back down on the floor and continues eating her carrots.
“So...” says Matt, the atmosphere suddenly very awkward. “What are you here for?” She shrugs.
“To hang out?” Matt starts laughing.
“Yeah,” he says, wiping a tear away. “And I’m the tooth fairy. Look if you need our boxers, mine’ll be the navy blue ones in the top drawer of the dresser on the right and Corey’s will be the Wonder Woman ones in the dresser to the left.” I glare and throw a piece of celery at him.
“My boxers happen to be Batman,” I say in all seriousness. “Yours are the freakish cat-woman ones.” Suddenly, I realize that Emmaleigh is right here. I feel my cheeks heat up.
“Um...boxers aside...” Emmaleigh says quietly.
“Not boxers? Come on! That’s classic dare material!” says Matt in surprise.
“It was until you guys started buying the most ridiculous boxers for each other just for the dares,” Emmaleigh says. She starts to giggle. “Where did you find Ronald MacDonald boxers? Wait--I actually don’t want to know.”
“But I got Corey some really good boxers for today,” Matt says with a pout. I raise my eyebrows. Really, now? He goes into his room and comes back with a piece of rolled up cloth in his hand. He unfurls it like a flag to reveal...
Well, the boxers have the pattern of women’s underwear on it. Like, it’s got bare lady legs and some low riding pink panties on top. I stare at it in shock, and then hear this strangled choke from behind me.
Emmaleigh is laughing. Laughing so hard that tears are rolling from her eyes and she’s using her fist to pound the floor. Matt starts laughing too.
“I’m sorry...” she gasps. “But the idea of any guy wearing those is just...” I feel a chuckle rise up in my throat and we all start roaring with laughter. “Should I...should I take them down and say they’re Corey’s? They’ll probably let me off th--” She stops suddenly. I snatch the offending boxers away and sit on them.
“NO!” I yell. “Those girls all go to our school! There’s no way!” Matt wipes his eyes.
“Whatever, man. But what’s the real dare?” Emmaleigh looks down at the floor, her laughter fading.
“I, uh...”
“Come on, Em. We’ll help you out,” Matt says. “Promise. If it was one of those other girls...”
“I’m supposed to kiss one of you,” she says quickly, not looking up. Matt and I look at each other. And then at this, what, 16? 17? year old girl before us.
“Not it!” We both yell simultaneously. And then the arguing begins.
“Dude, you totally yelled after me!”
“Are you kidding me? Please! I yelled like five minutes before you!”
“Exaggerator much?”
“Well, I sure as hell am not kissing her!”
“You think I am? I’d rather kiss a moose!”
“I’d rather kiss a horse!”
“EMMALEIGH WATSON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU--” Jessica stops suddenly. “Oh.” She clutches her chest and collapses against the door. “Thank God, I thought that you guys were--” she stops suddenly. Matt and I look over at Emmaleigh, who’s still looking extremely resolutely at the floor. And she’s probably redder than a tomato. Is she...is she crying? Jessica comes and grabs her arm.
“I don’t care if you went through with the bet or not,” she says resolutely. “I’ll tell them you did, okay? Let’s go.” She puts her arm around her friend and leads her out. “She’s really shy,” she mouths at us. “Don’t worry about it.” The door shuts and Matt and I look at one another.
“We made her cry didn’t we?” I say suddenly. Matt falls to the floor and throws a pillow over his face.
“Oh, shit.”