Love Unedited

I was the new girl at school, and I was accepted into a group the first day thankfully. Of course there was a cute guy I started crushing on. His name was James. He had big brown eyes, that watched you sweetly, with amusement. He had brown hair that often fell into his face, and he liked to give hugs for no reason. He was nice, too. I had planned on asking him to date me, but he wasn't at school that week. When he came back to school, I found out that he had been in the hospital for a suicide attempt, because his girlfriend had dumped him. So I didn't ask him out, right away anyways. I just sat with him at lunch and held his hand, when he was sad. Later that week, I asked him out and he was hesitant, but he agreed.

We dated for a week and a half, when he broke up with me. See he was a junior and I was a freshman so while he had experience, I was naive, still. I hadn't been ready to make out, crazy now that I think about it now. I don't remember that conversation, but we ended up getting back together. For another week. Then he slipped his hands into my pants. At school. During lunch. I had just said no making out, so this is any better? Needless to say, I broke up with him.

A few weeks later, we decided to be 'friends with benefits' because I like having things a little rough, and he knew what he was doing. Well he was a little too rough, and I ended that too. And I didn't talk to him for over a year. I'm not even sure why I talked to him again, and forgave him for the hand thing. We chatted on IM since he had transferred schools. Things got pretty heavy and we used the webcam, chatting for hours at night. We didn't even talk about much, it was mostly flirting and sex talk. Crazy me, let's him talk me into hanging out. We hadn't even hung out when we dated, if that means anything. I invited him over to spend the night, and he arrived while my parents were at work, and they never noticed. See, I had told him no sex a few times before I even gave him my address. But that didn't stop him that night. Let's just say he didn't stay the night, I'll spare the details of the sex.

That was the last time I talked to him, 9 months ago. Maybe some part of him loved me...