Just Another Pretty Face in the Crowd

Chapter Seventeen - What is Love?

“So am I going to get all the dirty deets?” Tony asked as he sat down next to me the next day in our math class.

“Why would I do that?” I asked. “Did you do your homework like you were supposed to?”

“What do you think? It’s not like he checks it anyway." He leaned back into his chair and stared at me. “Something’s up with you.”

“Nothing’s up with me,” I avoided his stare. I knew if I looked at him, he would know that I was with Sidney last night. It wasn’t that I was ashamed that I was with Sidney last night. It was more that I was embarrassed to tell my best friend that I was on a date with a good friend of his.

“Liar.” He continued to stare at me. “You hang out with Sidney last night?”

“Why do you ask that?” I answered with my own question. I really didn’t want to talk about all this with a boy. 'Where is Sadie when I need her?'

“Because it’s like you’re glowing,” he said. His eyes widened at a sudden thought that crossed his mind. “Did you have sex?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

I stared at him with wide eyes. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

“Because you’re glowing!”

“I guess when I do have sex I’ll be a Goddamn light bulb,” I whispered harshly. “I did not have sex with Sidney.”

Tony chuckled a little, “But you wanted to.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I said harshly.

“Are you at least going to tell me what you guys did?” he continued to pry.

I just glanced at him and then back down to the chalkboard, “We went out to dinner.”

“Where?”

'He is worse than a girl!' I thought before answering his question. “Buca di Beppo.”

“You guys went out a date?”

I glanced at him again, “No.”

“Did he pay?”

I answered hesitantly, “Yes.”

“The whole bill plus tip?”

I nodded my head.

“Did he drive you there and back?”

“No, Tony, I totally walked to the restaurant in the middle winter,” I replied sarcastically.

He just raised his eyebrow at me, “Did you wear your dress?”

I just stared at him and then turned my attention back to our teacher, Mr. Hampfield.

“You seriously aren’t calling that a date? You got dressed up, he picked you up, took you to a nice restaurant with a pricey menu, and paid the bill plus tip. Did he kiss you?”

I couldn’t help but blush at the memory. I really did enjoy that memory.

“Dear Lord, Drusilla Thompson kissed Sidney Crosby!” he whispered to himself more than to me. “What does it take to for you to consider something a date?”

“Well, he didn’t technically ask me out on a date. He asked if I wanted to have dinner with him and just kept it hidden from me. Plus, he kind of killed the date feeling anyway.”

“How?” Clearly, Tony wasn’t going to be paying attention today’s lesson and he was bound and determined to make me miss it too.

I glanced over at him, “He thought you and I were dating.”

“Did you tell that we did?” he asked, quietly.

I shook my head.

“Why not?”

“Because last night’s conversation wasn’t the best time to drop that little tidbit.” I answered back.

“Why did he think we were dating?”

“Geno saw me walking Caesar yesterday. He was going to say hi but he saw you show up. I guess he watched us walk back toward my apartment. He texted Sidney sometime afterward. I guess Sidney just jumped to conclusions.”

“He got mad?”

'Dear Jesus!' I mentally rolled my eyes at him. He seriously was worse than a girl. “He claims he didn’t get angry but I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?”

“I think he might have been jealous? I don’t know. He never answered the question.”

Tony finally stayed quiet for more than a minute, allowing me to focus on Mr. Hampfield’s lesson. I kept glancing over at him, making sure that he didn’t leave early but he just sat there with his thinking cap on.

Finally, he spoke up again, “Did you tell him that you love him?”

My eyes widened for the second time this conversation. “Why the hell would I tell him that I love him?”

“Because you do, Dru. There is no denying it now.”

“I do not love Sidney Crosby.”

“Not this shit again,” Tony mumbled. He glared at me. “If you don’t tell him, I will. I’m one hundred percent positive that he loves you back.”

“I just met the guy. I am not going to tell him that I love him, which I don’t. It could scare him off. He’s my only friend outside you and Sadie!”

“Trust me, Dru. He is more than a friend to you.”

I just glared at him. 'Goddamn you, Anthony DiPollo.'

“Dru, you love the guy! Just let it happen!” Tony said.

“EXCUSE ME! I am trying to teach a class here! IF you want to hold a conversation, PLEASE take it else where!” Mr. Hampfield shouted up at us.

I glared at Tony, “Sorry, professor, it won’t happen again.”

Tony gave me one last warning look before turning around, finally paying attention to the class.

*****

Caesar danced around happily when I opened the door to my apartment. His tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth and his tail was wagging at an unimaginable speed.

“Hey boy! Miss me?” I asked, kneeling down in front of him. He licked my face, happy that he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Dru! Are you home?” I heard Sadie ask from the hallway.

“Drusilla is not in right now. Please leave a message after the beep,” I paused for a moment. “BEEEEEP!”

“Seriously, Dru! We need to talk!” Sadie pounded on my door.

I sighed and got up off the floor and opened the door, “About what?”

“Tony texted me.”

“Seriously! That boy is worse than a old woman!” I said, angrily. I told him everything he wanted to know and then he goes and tells Sadie. What the hell?

“He went over this with you, Dru! It's obvious that you like Sidney… A lot! Why won’t you just tell him?” Sadie asked, walking past me and sitting down on my couch. She made herself comfortable turning on my tv for some background noise.

“I went over this with Tony! I don’t want to scare the poor guy off! He is one of my only friends!” I argued back.

“You are not friends with him, Dru,” Sadie said, her voice left no room for argument. “You kissed him at least twice now -”

“Three actually.”

“You are DEFINITELY not friends with him!” Sadie stood up and started pacing around the room. “What are you so scared of?”

I didn’t answer. My fears were exactly like everyone else’s fears. I was afraid that I would get too far gone and then have him leave. He was a hockey player after all. They really didn’t have the best track record.

It was almost like Sadie was reading my mind, “Are you afraid that you’ll get your heart broken?”

I just shrugged as I walked into the kitchen. The living room was getting too tense for me. I just needed to leave that room.

“So, what?” Sadie followed me, intent on knocking some sense into me. “You aren’t going to take a chance because you’re afraid that he’ll just up and leave? So fucking what! At least then you can say you fucking tried!”

I just stared at her as she glared at me. Sadie never swore at me and it rendered me speechless. Was I really that be of a coward? I was just trying to protect myself. He was getting too close and all the walls that I had built over the years were crumbling.

“Just grow a pair, Dru! You need to stop this shit. He likes you just as much as you like him and you’re too chickenshit to even do anything about it! Just tell him you like him, tell him you love him!”

I stared down at my feet. “You guys are so sure that he has feelings for me. How are you so sure?” I asked quietly.

“Honey, do you seriously not see the look in his eyes when he sees you?” Sadie said, calming down. “He looks at you like he would do anything for you. Like you are the only thing in the world. It's like if he lost you, he would be lost too. He looks at you like he loves you, Drusilla.”

I glanced up at her. I knew all those feelings and more. I felt them whenever I was around him.

“And don’t think I didn’t see all those things in your eyes either!” Sadie commented. “You guys belong together. Just stop being so Goddamn paranoid.”

“Sadie, you don’t know how terrifying it is.” I finally said after a moment of silence. “I just built all these walls. I stopped looking for a boyfriend and just started focusing on me, my happiness. I was happy. I still am happy. But when I met Sidney, he didn’t even have to try. He didn't even have to tap on all them and they started falling down.”

“You love him, Dru,” Sadie answered. “Love is terrifying and scary, but it is also amazing and beautiful. It’s the perfect kind of chaos.”

“I don’t want to be in chaos,” I whimpered. I was finally breaking. All I wanted right now was Sidney. I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, and just tell me that everything would be okay.

“But that’s the wonderful thing about love. It’s chaos but it isn’t at the same time. The world stops for you when you’re in love, Dru. It’s beautiful and innocent,” Sadie said, standing up.

“I’m so confused!” Tears were finally falling. “I love him so much already but I can’t at the same time. I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“If it’s love, it won’t ruin anything between the two of you. I guarantee that he feels just as much as you do,” Sadie said, hugging me tightly. I felt her rub my back, trying to comfort me.

Suddenly, my phone started vibrating in my pocket.

I broke our little hug session and pulled it out. Sidney.

“Sidney, right?” Sadie said smiling. “Your eyes lit up when you saw his name.”

I opened the message: I GOT CLEARED!!

I couldn’t help but smile and be happy for him.

“That’s another thing about love. Whenever they’re happy, you become happy too. Their happiness suddenly becomes more important than your own.” 'When did my friends get so smart?'

I started typing a message back to him: THAT’S GREAT!

“So what made you so happy just there?” Sadie asked, smiling knowingly.

“Sidney got cleared to play again.”

Sadie’s smile widened. “Now you can cheer for your man while he’s on the ice! When does he come back?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“Ask him!”

When do you start playing again?

It was a few moments later that he texted me back: [i]Next home game

“He said the next home game,” I relayed.

“I’ll talk to Uncle Dan about possibly getting us box tickets,” Sadie said.

My phone vibrated one more time: Cheer for me?

“What did he say!” Sadie shouted and ran over beside me. She managed to read the message before I could move it out of her eyesight. “AWWW!! HE’S SO CUTE! Why aren’t you answering him! Answer him, stupid!”

I just rolled my eyes at her. She was overreacting just a little bit.

I texted him back: I was kind of thinking about cheering for Max ;) He’s pretty sexy.

“Why the hell would you say that?” Sadie shouted at me, forgetting that she was standing right next to me. “He was being cute and you’re being a bitch!”

“Sadie, just shut up for like two minutes, please! THANK YOU!” I shouted right back to her.

She closed her mouth but continued to glare at me.

Sidney texted me back: I hear that that Crosby dude is pretty sexy too.

I giggled at his text message, “Oh please, Crosby.”

Sadie stood in front of me, tapping her foot on the floor. “What did he say?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” I stuck my tongue out at her. I quickly typed him back: He’s okay, I guess.

“What did you say?” Sadie questioned, nosily.

“Would you please be quiet!” I said. “Why don’t you go watch whatever you put on the TV?”

“You and your boy toy are more entertaining!” she countered.

“He is NOT my boy toy,” I answered sternly as my phone vibrated in my hand.

“Oh yea, totally not your boy toy,” Sadie said sarcastically, sitting down on a barstool as I leaned on my kitchen counter.

I hear he’s sexy enough for this cute girl on O’Hara St.

I gulped a little at his message. He was talking about me. My apartment building was just outside the University of Pittsburgh’s campus along O’Hara.

I hear she really enjoyed that little get together last night. It was the literally the first thing that came to my mind. I was so awkward. I was ruining this… whatever this was.

“You look worried now. What is he saying?” Sadie said, frowning. Of course, she would be watching my facial expressions while I was texting him.

“He was playing along. He called me a ‘cute girl.’”

“And what is wrong with that?” Sadie asked. “What did you say?”

“That ‘she really enjoyed that little get together last night.’”

“Hun, that ‘little get together’ was a date.” Sadie said. “I sure Sid was taking you out on a date last night.”

I sighed. My mind was racing again with worry. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he texted me back: I would call it their unofficial first date.

I raised my eyebrow at him, even though he wasn’t really here with me physically.

“He is such a dork,” Sadie said. I didn’t even realize that she was laying on my kitchen counter, reading my text messages.

“Shut up. He’s being cute,” I said, moving my phone away from her eyesight.

“Drusilla and Sidney sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Sadie sang as she skipped into my living room. I just rolled my eyes at her.

My phone vibrated in my hand one more time: Can’t wait for the official first date with her.