Just Another Pretty Face in the Crowd

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Perfection

I sat quietly in my Calculus class. I watched Mr. Hampfield explain Section 8.1: Sequences. I was trying to keep up but it just wasn’t happening.

’Stupid Squeeze Theorem!’

Tony was sitting next to me looking far worse than I was. Not only did he miss the last couple classes he also missed the last section test. I hated to admit it but I was finally losing hope in getting him at least a C in this class.

“I’m so lost,” he leaned over, stating the obvious.

I remained silent as I scribbled whatever was on the dry erase board. Hampfield was one of the those teachers that assumed the class just knew what he was talking about and didn’t stop for questions till the lesson was done. If you weren't fast in writing down whatever was on the board, it was lost forever.

“If it exists, we say that it is converges, making it a convergent. Otherwise, we would say it diverges, making it a divergent.” Hampfield started doing multiple equations on the board, losing me in the first one that he did. Fractions over fractions, square roots and powers, letters mixed with numbers. It all jumbled together and my brain felt like it was frying.

Just as I was about to cave into the stress of everything, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I hoped and prayed it was Sidney but I couldn’t just reach for it. Phones were pretty much not allowed in any lesson unless it was an emergency.

“The Squeeze Theorem suggests that if A equals zero then it’s absolute value equals zero. Here’s an example. Remember if the equation converges, we find the limit.”

Mr. Hampfield was turned to the board, scribbling equation after equation. I quickly slipped my phone out of my pocket and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Sidney’s name flash across the screen.

Hey babe.

I smiled and quickly typed back: Hey :) Just who I needed.

“Sidney?” Tony looked at me.

I nodded as I set my phone down on my lap so that when it vibrated it wasn’t so loud. If I was going to be sneaky, I might as well do it well.

Whats wrong Even though, I couldn’t see him or hear him, I could tell that he was worried. I smiled a little. He wasn’t the kind of person to worry about everything. It felt that I was the only thing in the world that could make him worry his head off.

Stressing out over Calc I glanced back up at the board and started scribbling down the multiple equations that were across the board.

“Therefore the sequence A converges into square root of e,” Hampfield rambled as he continued to scribble things down.

I glanced down at my phone when I felt it vibrate. Do u want me to call

I did want him to call me again. Just hearing his voice would help clear my mind enough, but he couldn’t exactly call at this moment. I’ll call you after class?

“Why wouldn’t you call him after class?” Tony asked, leaning over and staring at my phone. “He is your boyfriend, remember?”

I glared at him and continued to scribble down my notes. Hopefully, I’ll be able to understand what I wrote later in the day when I did the homework that Mr. Hampfield would most likely assign.

U dont need 2 ask

I must of made a face because Tony sighed like he tired of telling me what everything meant.

What do you mean?

“He means you can call him anytime,” Tony whispered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, he could just say it,” I answered.

Just call when u can.

I sighed.

“The monotonic sequence theorem suggests that every bounded, monotonic sequence is convergent,” Hampfield concluded. “Any questions.”

The class went into an awkward silence. Everyone had question but no one wanted to voice them out loud. They didn’t want to be the one that asks a stupid question.

“Okay, then. Homework then!” Hampfield turned around and started erasing the board. “Page 364, problems one through ten.”

“I am totally screwed,” Tony muttered as he glanced at his unopened book. “Help me?”

I glanced at him, “I tried that, remember?”

“But it’s hard!” Tony whined, not taking his eyes off his Calculus book. “I clearly need it.”

I sighed as I started packing up my notebooks and calculator, “Every class, no more skipping. We already went over this the first time I agreed to help you.”

“I promise I’ll be here every class.”

I glanced at him, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

If he replied, I didn’t hear him because I was already out the door, hitting the call button next to Sidney’s phone number.

It felt like an eternity for him to answer the phone, I glanced at the clock on the wall as I walked past the main lobby to the stairs. Maybe he was driving or eating?

“Hello?”

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard his voice, “Hey.”

“Calc kicking your ass?” Sidney asked. There was humor in his voice but I could tell that it was hiding something underneath.

“Yes and no,” I answered, walking down the stairs.

“What do you mean?”

“Even if I crash the next couple sections, I’ll pass with a B,” I explained but before I finished he interrupted me.

“So... What’s the problem?”

“I don’t want be a B. I want an A so that my GPA will stay at four point o,” I answered.

Sidney chuckled a little, “What’s wrong with getting three point something?”

I sighed, “I’m just a perfectionist at heart.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he answered. “Just breathe and take your time with it.”

“I wish it was that easy,” I mumbled as I pushed the door and walked out onto the campus yard.

“You did it the other night,” he countered. “You sat in your kitchen and I swear you wasted half your notebook trying to figure out that homework. But you didn’t give up.”

I sighed in defeat, “I know.”

“Just don’t give up, babe,” he said, definitely. “I know you can do this even if you don’t believe it yourself.”

I smiled. He seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel better, to give me the confidence and strength I needed, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For a lot of things,” I answered, knowing that wasn’t enough of an answer for him. “For saying that, for listening to me, for just being there.”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Sidney asked.

I shrugged as if he was walking right next to me.

“You’re my girlfriend, I’m always going to be here for you,” he said quietly.

I continued to be silent.

“You still there?”

“Yea,” I said softly.

“You okay?” he asked, I could now tell he was in full worry mode about me.

“I’m fine,” I answered. “I just really miss you.”

He chuckled, “You knew what you were getting yourself into.”

I smiled at his chuckle. “I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a fact. I miss you. Plain and simple.” I didn’t want for him to respond. “Yes, I would love to have you here all the time but I do understand why you aren’t. You love hockey, nothing and nobody will ever change that.”

I heard him sigh. I couldn’t tell if it was out of relief or something else. ’Did I say the right thing?’

“Has anyone ever tell you that you're perfect?” he asked.

I halted in the middle of the sidewalk, my mouth fell open, “What did you say?” I heard him but I just didn’t comprehend it.

“I said you’re perfect.”

I stood there, like an idiot, with my mouth opening and closing as my brain wrapped around what he was saying.

After a couple of moments of silence, he finally said something, “Did I cross a line there?” The worry was back in his voice.

I finally found my voice, “No!” My voice was a little weak. “Not at all!”

He was silent for a few more moments, “No one has ever told you that, have they?”

I started walking but slowly, “They have… kind of. I usually get ‘amazing’ or ‘extraordinary.’”

“Well then,” he started. “You should know that you are absolutely, one hundred percent perfect.”

I smiled at what he said. “Are you sure I’m the perfect one?”

I walked into my apartment building, nodding to the doorman before going in.

“I’m pretty sure, I’m not.”

I laughed as I started my trek to my third floor apartment, “Yea, okay.”

“Hey, I got to go,” he said, his voice was downtrodden.

“I understand,” I replied, smiling sadly as I climbed up the stairs, I was about half way up the first flight.

“Wear my jersey?” he asked quietly.

“Why?”

“You’re my good luck charm,” he said, laughing a little bit.

“I’m pretty sure you had good luck before you met me.” I answered. “Yes, I’ll wear you jersey.”

“Good.” I could tell he was smiling again. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“See you then.”

“Don’t miss me too much,” he teased.

“Too late!”

“Okay, I’m seriously hanging up this time,” he said.

“Okay, see you when you get back,” I replied, smiling. I could hear other voices, teasing and laughing but he didn’t seem to be paying attention to them.

“See you then.”

I hung up the phone and walked onto my floor. It felt like my stress had melted away at the sound of his voice. It made me think of what I could do when he was actually with me.

*****

My phone vibrated two hours before the Penguins played the Panthers. I glance down to see Sadie’s name flash across my screen. Game’s on again. Want me over again?

“Sidney?” Tony asked, not looking up as he attempted to do some Calculus problems.

“No, Sadie,” I answered, typing back my reply. You can but Tony’s here.

“She coming over for the game?” he asked, glancing up for a second from his book.

“Maybe, it’s all up to her,” I answered. I saw he was completely doing the problem wrong. “No, you’re supposed to do this.”

“Why are you so worried about your grade when you can practically teach the class?” Tony asked as he finally got what he was supposed to do after I should him how the problem worked.

I just shrugged, “I’m a worry wart.”

“Yea, I know,” he said, smiling knowingly. “You always were.”

Cool beans!

“Looks like Sadie’s coming over,” I confirmed. “Be prepared.”

He shrugged, “Nothing can be worse when you cheer for Dusty.”

I just shook my head. He had no idea what was going to hit him.

“Well, I’ll be right back. I’m going to change,” I said, standing up.

“Why? You look fine,” Tony said, glancing up at me from his book again.

“I told Sidney that I would wear his jersey,” I said, shrugging.

“Why? He isn’t here to see it anyway.” His attention was fully on me now as he leaned back on my kitchen stool.

“I told him I would.”

“But he isn’t going to be here,” Tony kept pestering.

“So?” I shrugged.

“Why?”

“Because I want to,” I answered, exiting the kitchen and walking down to my bedroom. I grabbed my Crosby jersey and slipped it on.

“You know, you don’t even wear Dusty’s jersey when he’s away,” Tony comment nonchalantly as I walked back into the kitchen.

“Yea... So?”

“So, I think you have a special reason why you are wearing Sid’s jersey,” Tony said, smirking.

“He is my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend,” I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And?” He seemed to think there was something more to this.

“And what?”

“What else are you to him?” Tony asked.

I looked at him confused for a moment.

“Like has he called you anything else?” He tried to clarify what he meant.

I just shrugged, “Nothing to great.”

“What did he say you were?” He continued to pester me.

“He just called me his lucky charm.” I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. I know how big of a deal it was though. While in high school, Dusty had a “lucky charm.” It wasn’t a girl, it was a golden chain and he constantly wore it thinking that it brought him lucky while in the net.

Before he could reply, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly went to open it, knowing it was Sadie.

“He called you his lucky charm and you are acting like it is no big deal!” Tony shouted, following me.

“Will you stop acting like a girl?” I asked as Sadie walked in.

“Sidney said you’re lucky charm?” Sadie asked, slightly confused because she walked into the middle of our conversation.

“Yes, and this dipshit thinks it’s nothing!” Tony confirmed.

Sadie just stood there with her mouth gaped. “You’re an idiot,” she finally said after a couple seconds.

“I’m not,” I answered, turning on the TV.

“Lucky charm, darling! It means that he feels lucky to have you even watching him on TV!” Sadie shouted.

I just shrugged, “It’s just a superstition, it will go away.”

“They do not just go away. Do realize he has had the same pre-game routine since before Uncle Dan’s been coaching the team!” Sadie continued to shout.

“See! This is huge!” Tony agreed. “Dear Jesus, Dru! Get your head out of your ass and realize that he loves you!”

I just glared at him, “My head isn’t up my ass.”

“Okay, stop doubting everything and just trust your instincts!” Sadie shouted. “Trust us when we say this, he loves you!”

“He doesn’t love me,” I answered, glancing at them.

They just rolled their eyes and sat down next to me.

“Yea, you are definitely an idiot,” Sadie muttered.

I shoved her a little but didn’t say anything. I just leaned back into my couch and watched the hockey reruns and highlights from previous game.

*****

“So much for being his lucky charm,” Tony said, packing up his stuff. The Penguins had lost 4-3 in overtime. The Panthers had managed to make an amazing recovery and caught up to them in the third and overtook them in OT.

I just shrugged, “I told you it was no big deal.”

He just looked at me, “Yea, okay. Whatever you say, Drusilla.” He throw his book bag over his shoulder. “You might want to text him.”

I nodded as he left. Sadie had left right as the Panthers caught up, she apparently knew what was going to happen and couldn’t bear to watch it. She was just as superstitious as the hockey players.

I grabbed my phone off the counter and started to debate what to text him. I knew how to handle Dusty when he lost but Sidney was a whole new ball game.

I suggest Ben and Jerry’s Everything But The… or Chocolate Therapy.

I was pretty sure that wasn’t the right thing to say but I had to start somewhere. I also knew that he wouldn’t message me till closer to midnight, so I settle down and hoped that I would still be awake when he messaged back.

I don’t know when he did message back but I woke up to my phone vibrating on my bed. How bout Chunky Monkey?

Even though I was beyond tired I still managed to type a coherent message. Whatever you want, you deserve it.

I pulled the comforter around me and shoved my face into my pillow. I fully expected him to not message me back. But he did: What if I want you here?