Fake It for Me, Baby

Chapter Two;

I woke up with a start, and the tears trickling down my face. I hated how memories of Alyssa haunted my dreams. I wish I could move on like she had wanted me to, but I couldn’t. It was almost as if I didn't want me to forget her, since practically everything I did brought back memories of her.

I quickly wiped the tears and got out of bed. On my way to the bathroom, I looked at my calendar and sighed. Today was Alyssa’s 16th birthday. Therefore, everyone would be avoiding my gaze. I know that they all blamed me for Alyssa’s death.

Hell, I blame myself too.

If I hadn’t insisted on going down that damn ally then she would be here with me celebrating her 16th birthday.

I stepped inside my bathroom and quickly undressed then stepped into my freezing cold shower.

As the water trickled down my chubby cheeks, the tears ended up being disguised by the water, but my puffy red eyes would not be.

Why did I have to kill her?

I contemplated that as I washed my hair and finished my daily shower routine. Once I got out I went to the closet and dressed up in a pair of super skinny jeans, a tank top, and my favorite blue and white scarf.

I walked back into my bathroom and grabbed my jewelry box. I put on my black leather bracelet along with my luck bracelet, and my golden heart bracelet I got for my 16th birthday. Then I put in some earrings, my necklace, and my purple twisty ring. After I put on all my jewelry on I went to the boring habit of curling my hair.

I sighed as I walked out of my bathroom. I got my makeup kit and did my eye shadow quickly, and then I put on some cherry red lip gloss.

I grunted when I looked in the mirror. Everyone was going to tell me how gorgeous I looked, and how mature I was becoming.

Blah, blah, blah.

I didn't care what they all thought of me anymore. I just needed to wait until I got older and then I could die and everyone can be happy that the murderer of the child/best friend/etc had finally left them at peace.

Shaking the thought out of my head, I walked into my closet once again, and got my tan coat, my black and tan pumps, and my grey beanie.

I was already anxious for this day to be over, and it had barely started.

I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, and was shocked when I saw my parents and my brother sitting at the table waiting for me.

“Darling! You look marvelous!” My mother cooed.

“Oh hi mother! What are you doing here?” I asked suspiciously but with my voice still cheery, “And what are you doing here with Papa?

“Cant you just be glad to see us? Your father and I decided that it would be beneficial for you for us to be here for you.” My mom smiled as if she knew exactly what I needed.

I looked at my brother, “Did you tell them to come?”

David nodded, “You need them here for you today Gi. You don’t need to be strong all of the time. I mean its okay to cry.”

I smiled at my brother and at my parents.

“For some reason, I fail to believe that. You always have an alternate reason for trying to be good family members. Mom, you are always away in Paris or in Rome, and Papa you are never here, you’re always staying at hotels as if the mere idea of staying in the same house as me, just repulses you. David has taken care of me ever since you abandoned me when Aly died.” I finished my rant with an exasperated grunt of breath. That was the most I have talked to one group of people in quite a long time.

“Don’t you dare think we don’t care!” My father hissed.

I laughed sarcastically and very uncharacteristically of me, “Why are you here?” I repeated.

My mother full out glared at me, “We wanted to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid on the birthday of that American girl you killed!” She screamed, and then tried to continue in a calmer voice, “And we have great news for you!” Her anger had magically dissipated and she grinned.

Great.

I groaned openly, “What?”

“You are getting married!” Papa cheered along with Ma.

I stood up, “I can not believe you are doing this to me.”

“Do not talk to me like that!” My mother roared.

“I will do as I want. You are not going to control who I marry.” I was about to storm out of the room when my brother’s meek voice stopped me.

“You were adopted Guilia. And they want you back.” David muttered.

“Then why am I getting married?” I scrunched my eye brows in confusion.

Mama’s face flushed, “I figured if I told you something worse first, then I hoped you wouldn’t be as mad when I told you that you have to move.”

I sighed and rubbed the headache away from my forehead.

“Fine. Pack my stuff please, and I’ll be back after school.”

And then I walked out of the house, not caring if they tried to stop me. They were probably in shock because I wasn’t screaming and throwing a fit.

I started muttering to myself on the way to school, “Okay Gi. Get this all straight. So you were adopted. No biggie. And you are moving. Awesome. You didn't like it here anyways. This will be a fresh start for you. This will all work out Guilianna.” I probably looked crazy trying to convince myself of these problems, but I didn't really care what people thought of me today.

“Gi-Gi!” My friend Carissa Mawers screeched coming up to me and gripping me in a tight hug.

“Hey Ris.”

“OMG! How are you?” Carissa was annoying as hell, but she was a loyal friend, and that is what I needed when Aly died.

“Fine, why?” Did everyone know…?

“Don’t you remember? Its Alyssa’s birthday. I thought today would just be harder for you.” She muttered trying to reach for my hands in a comforting way.

I rolled my eyes, “Please don’t. Thanks for caring and everything, but I’m over it.” I lied.

I yanked my hands away and stormed out of the school.

Apparently going to school wasn’t such a good idea. So I just walked to a path that I had become very familiar with.

I looked at her grave once I appeared at the cemetery.

“Hey Aly. I’m sorry…I’m so sorry! I’m sorry that I killed you before you turned 16, I’m sorry I killed you before you even got to experience a glimpse of what life really is life.” The tears started slowly pouring down and I continued, “I’m sorry I took away your future. God Alyssa, I’m so fucking sorry! Since you never will get to do anything that we planned when we were younger, then I shouldn’t either… I wont fall in love, and I just wont have the happily ever after that we wanted.”

I was openly sobbing once I was finished with my speech, and then I laid down on the bench that was right next to her grave letting the waterfall of tears explode from my faucet-like eyes. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

“Guilianna! Where are you?” I heard my brothers voice call out to me from my sleep.

I sat up and looked around.

“Oh shit!” I muttered realizing I fell asleep at the cemetery.

“Guilia!” David yelled in relief once he saw me sitting here.

“Hey big bro.” I said nonchalantly.

“Hey Gi.” He smiled, mocking my tone, and wrapped his arms around me in a huge hug.

“Can we go home? I asked, rubbing my sore neck and David nodded helping my up from the bench.

“Always.” He held my hand as we made the long journey home.

“So where am I moving?” I asked quietly.

He sighed, “America.”

My eyes widened. Of course I had to move to America. Aly was from there. It would be a constant reminder of the promise I just made to my dead best friend.

“Where in America?” I muttered, blinking away the tears that were about to emerge. I had been so good at not crying in front of my family and friends that I really didn't want to break my habit.

“Spoons, Washington.” David said, then rubbed his chin, “Wait, that’s not right. Its Knifes, Washington. Or maybe it was George, Washington…”

I laughed and threw in some more suggestions, “Forks, Washington?”

David laughed and grinned widely, “Yes! That’s it.”

I smiled. At least it was not Montana which was where Aly was from.

“When am I leaving?” I questioned quietly, the laughing tone completely gone from our conversation.

“When we get home,” David sighed, “You have been gone for hours, and Mom and Dad wanted to finish packing everything up for you, like you requested. Look Guiles, you don’t need to be strong. I understand this is hard, and I get it, if you need to cry.”

I smiled a smile that appeared genuine but truly wasn’t, “I’m perfectly fine. Seriously, there is no need to worry about me! I’ve never been better.”

I guess fibbing was one of my strong suits.

“Look, I can tell that something is bothering you. But these people are good folks. This is really the best thing for you. Now you will be able to have a solid home to live in.”

I nodded solemnly and sighed, “I know Davey, I know.”

And before I knew it we were home. I sprinted up to my room and fixed my makeup before grabbing the last of my bags and took them to the front door with the rest of my stuff.

* * *

I looked at my parents, “Goodbye.” I said and gave them a quick hug. I didn't like touching them.

And after giving a giant hug and kiss to my brother I walked out the door, out of my old life, and out of the drama that, that family had for me.

* * *

I freshened up in the airplane bathroom and walked back to my seat as the plane landed.

Once the wheels stopped moving and passengers were rushing out to meet their families, I moved slowly to memorize the moment.

“Here’s to a new life.” I toasted to myself, stepping off the plane.