To Yonder

Too Close
“Which way is right, which way is wrong
How do I say that I need to move on
You know we’re heading separate ways”
- Alex Claire

Tanek sat and watched. He thought about his life. Where he had come from and where he was going. Things seemed to be stagnant, yet life was constantly moving. He had never imagined a life like this when he was younger… more naïve and a whole lot more unsuspecting. It was as if he was a completely different person now.

He remembered life back at the academy. The friends he used to have and his first crush. She had been younger than him, but that didn’t stop Tanek. He was like a cougar… or well, something terribly ferocious like that. He had been absolutely smitten. Her name had been Annabelle – Annabelle with the shiny hair and pretty eyes. It felt an eternity ago. Tanek laughed, in reality it wasn’t all that long ago. He reminded himself of his age. He could almost picture the girl if he tried hard enough.

He wondered if all his old friends ever thought about him. He wondered if they noticed he had disappeared. He wanted to know if they thought about where he could have gone and where he was now. Normally Tanek wasn’t so nostalgic, but something just came over him and he couldn’t seem to help himself. In this moment, he wondered where they were.

The tide had come in and swept him away.

Suddenly his smile dissipated. A lot had happened between then and now that made him feel significantly aged… smaller even. All of it had begun with the coming of Tanek’s Father. He was the one who created present day Tanek. Tanek was just like him too… his hair… his eyes… his voice… every single aspect about him, even the way he acted.

Tanek was never really fond of his Father, not like he had loved his Mother. Tanek’s Father had been one of those free spirits, one foot in and one foot out coming and going as he pleased. How he had ever managed to catch the interest of a woman as beautiful as Tanek’s Mother? Tanek never knew. Sure Tanek’s Father was good looking, but his Mother must have seen something more in him beyond just looks.

His Mother was the one who embraced a room with her presence and made everyone in it just a little bit more beautiful.

Tanek scoffed. This could have all been very different if his Mother hadn’t been taken from him so unfairly. Tanek wouldn’t be a pirate; he’d be a scholar… probably courting some unfortunate girl. He could be leg shackled to Annabelle and awaiting his first child, a little baby boy and then perhaps a girl later on. Tanek laughed, he could hardly imagine himself as one of society’s most exclusive gentlemen… Lord, he’d be wearing a cravat!

From then to now seemed like eons. He tried his best not to think about the past and what could have been yet there was always a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. The truth of his existence loomed over everything he did and he couldn’t help but wonder. It had gotten worse in the past few days and it all had to do with one thing.

Her.

Ever since that night with the woman he couldn’t get his mind to stop reeling – perhaps in a different place at a different time. There was no future with her. He wouldn’t indulge in such futile fantasies. He felt like he was living off of borrowed time. Instead he tried to find comfort in the past.

Tanek wondered how many people were out there who knew him as the other, as the young boy who was innocent and promising and full of life… someone so unrecognizable, even to him. Someone a lot less like Tanek and more like… like a prince or something.

Nik.

He had saved a Prince once – a long, long time ago in a far away kingdom.

“What nonsense…” Tanek mumbled to himself before ending his pity party. He stood up and crossed the room. Once the large wooden door was open, Tanek squinted in attempts to deflect the sun’s powerful rays.

How long had he disappeared from the world?

Tanek scaled the edge of the deck greeting each of his men as he passed. He stood idly staring out at the sea when a voice broke his train of thought, “I should’er said somethin’. We all knew. He was outta line bringin’ such a young boy onto a ship like this. He was breakin’ the code.”

How long had he been standing here?

Tanek tilted his head to acknowledge the man’s words regardless of the fact that he didn’t really want to hear them. The Captain knew exactly what Toothy was referring to, the customs and articles. Sure a pirate was never supposed to bring a boy onto the ship, but they also weren’t supposed to bring woman either… especially if they were disguised as men. That was subject to death. Tanek knew just as his Father had. They both had signed the document yet neither was deterred from their actions.

Lord, there were more and more similarities with every passing second.

“I told him to leave you alone, but ya know’im just as well as errybody else… the fool couldn’t be talked out’er nothin’. Coulda told’em a bullet was coming in his direction and he’d keep runnin’ straight on, probably even pick up his speed too. Doesn’t change nothin’. I coulda been more forceful with’im.”

Tanek shook his head. His Father had been a complete imbecile, a reckless man with no sense of brain, just pure stupidity and too much pride. So much pride it was blinding to him and to others. It was the only logically explanation for why a man like that had such a loyal following. Unfortunately, the prior captain had still been stuck in the primordial stages of development. Lucky for Tanek, he had his Mother’s intelligence.

… Or at least that’s what he liked to think.

“I told’em he’d best be leavin’ you alone, it wasn’t fair to be bringin’ you onto this ship…” Toothy looked forlorn. Tanek didn’t have anything to say in reply. He was here and there was no use trying to dwell on the past. Things would not change and talking especially didn’t help. It brought up too many repressed feelings.

“Ye deserve more than this,” Toothy wasn’t old, but he wasn’t exactly young either. He had gotten the chance to live life as a free young man… well, free from the crown. Tanek was held to other standards.

Tanek was bound to this ship through obligation, not once had anyone asked him whether or not he wanted to be Captain. He was just voted in. Pirates were a rather democratic species. They had laws and regulations to abide by, they were generally respectable creatures, and they were fiercely loyal. There was not way Tanek could have turned his back. Not when everyone had put such immense trust him.

Besides, it was what his Father would have expected from him. He had been groomed for this position from the moment his foot had hit the first worn plank of the ship.

Toothy observed the young man before him. Tanek was the son Toothy never had and he felt for him. Too much burden was put on Tanek in Toothy’s opinion. In his eyes, Tanek was still the same young boy trying to find himself in the world and there was no way he could do that while attached to this ship. It had sprung a leak long ago and was slowly sinking – Tanek was going down with it.

“That is all a matter of opinion,” Tanek stated quickly and quietly. He knew Toothy had heard him loud and clear though.

“Ye and I both know that’s a load of’em nonsense boy,” Toothy scoffed. The boy may have been a lot more giving than his Father, but they both had the same headstrong personality that could drive Toothy to insanity while he tried to preach logic into their thick headed skulls. Not everything had to be complicated. Tanek needed to understand that and Toothy was willing to help him.

Toothy was probably the only man that Tanek let speak to him in such a way. If any of the other crewmates were to be so bold with Tanek they were sure to be looking for some kind of beating. Tanek was Captain and he had to make sure that his power was never questioned by anyone. As for Toothy, he was the person who kept Tanek in line. Tanek’s own personal anchor so he wouldn’t float away.

“Ye know whatch’ya need?” Tanek stayed silent thinking of what could possibly come out of Toothy’s mouth next. Of course he didn’t anticipate what Toothy was about to say, “Ya need a woman… someone to fall in love with.”

Tanek could laugh. A man like him did not fall in love. Love was for the weak. For those that weren’t strong enough on their own so they depended on another for courage. Tanek had two feet planted firmly on the ground; he sure as hell did not need anyone.

Toothy shook his head in disapproval at Tanek’s expression, “One day boy, I reckon’ one day it’ll just hit you from behind. It’ll be like one of’em big waves that engulfs ya, ye know, the kind ye can’t escape from. It just pulls yer right into the middle of the ocean where ye can’t swim away. Love’ll do that sort of thing to a man.”

Drown him…?

Never. Tanek made a mental note, whether it be love or real waves he would not drown. Tanek was a survivor and he intended to stay that way.

---

Will felt strangely uneasy. The air was too brisk and the waves were slightly erratic. He looked around him to see if anything was out of place… maybe someone was looking at him? He observed his surroundings. Nothing looked particularly peculiar. From where the Quartermaster was perched up on the mainmast he could see everything with a birds eye view. Up here amongst the flowing sails is where he truly felt free. He kept watch down below. Still, everything looked normal to him.

Then he looked up.

Above him was a swirling mass of gray fury. He stayed paralyzed for a moment before his instincts kicked into action. This could definitely signify trouble. He leapt from the support beam and through a flurry of white, tattered sails until he made contact with a sturdy rope connected to a pulley system and came plummeting down to the deck with a thud. None of the men around him seemed unconcerned that their Quartermaster had just come flying down from the heavens like an angel.

Will grinned. He was an angel.

But seriously, how had he managed to miss the mess beginning to brew? He had been so close to the skies that he could reach out and touch them yet he somehow managed to be oblivious to the impending doom. He briskly took off towards Tanek’s quarters. It was his duty to notify the Captain at once.

With his usual flair, Will pounded on Tanek’s heavy, wooden door and then threw it open barging in without permission. In response, Tanek instantly looked up looking as if he almost expected that Will was going to come in at that very second.

This was their “perfect” relationship.

“Can I help you?” Tanek said rather monotone – always the most levelheaded and calm. Well, Will was about to blow his mind. The Captain was completely unsuspecting of the extreme, inclement weather that was about to be unleashed outside. Maybe Will would even throw in a few tornadoes on the horizon just for added dramatic effect.

“There’s a storm brewing outside. It’s going to hit hard.” Will was super proud of himself for reporting to Tanek in such a timely manner. He had a vision of himself being hailed as a hero – the one who saved the crew from an unknown fate and a watery grave. They would tell stories about him for years to come… his children and future generations would be regarded as royalty… Will could not be stopped.

And then it stopped.

“I know.”

Wait, what…?

“Anyone who has looked outside in the past day would know there was a storm approaching. A particularly fierce one,” Tanek walked over to the window as if to exaggerate his point, “I already gave out the order. We are already heading towards land. We should be docking in the cove before the storm reaches shore. Had you not noticed?”

Oh…

“And I suppose the men could use a rest. We can stay in port for a day or so and then we will be on our way. That gives us plenty of time to restock and make any necessary repairs.” Tanek turned around to look at Will, “Was there anything else you wanted to go over?”

Will was slightly speechless and immensely deflated. Like a disappointed child he muttered a no and then turned to shuffle out of Tanek’s room. He was halfway to the door when he heard Tanek’s voice. Excited, Will whipped around.

“Will, thanks for stopping by.”

Will disregarded how uncharacteristically nice Tanek was being. It didn’t matter. Instead, he grinned once more; he really was such an angel.
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