Status: completed

I Have Only Myself to Give, Nothing More


“I’m not a fag, Daddy,” I whisper as he corners between the couch and the wall. “I promise you I’m not.”

His eyes narrow dangerously at me. “I saw you fondling that boy,” he snarls. “When I picked you up from school last week. I saw you, boy. Don’t you lie to me!”

“I’m not lying!” I cry, falling to my knees. “I swear I’m not!”

“You are!” he roars and grabs me by the waist as I try to crawl past his feet. “I fucking saw you! You faggy liar!”

I let out an involuntary whimper as his fingers tighten around my stomach. “I’m not gay!” I insist.

“Then. What. Are. You?” he demands furiously. One hand jumps to my neck and he brutally strokes my Adam’s Apple with his thumb. “A trannie? A dyke?”

“I’m bisexual,” I say softly and his eyes widen in shock. I can tell that he never expected me to make such a confession.

“You disgust me!” he hisses and drops me on the floor. “You’re half a fag. Not much better.” With one last kick to my ribcage, he locks himself up in his office.

I drag myself upstairs and clean myself up as pretty as I can, but that still doesn’t take away the sharp pain every time I breathe in. I wish I could be straight, I tell my reflection as I dab make-up over my bruises. Then maybe he’d love me. I head back down stairs, sprinting for the front door.

“Get outta my house!” Dad yells from his office as I slam the door behind me, running to the bus stop and riding along the line to the apartment complex where Brendon lives with Spencer and Jon.

It’s Spencer who answers the door when I knock quietly and he gives me a tired smile. “Hey Ryan,” he says, letting me in. “Brendon’s in his room.”

“Thanks,” I say and Jon comes up to cling to Spencer’s arm as I head to Brendon’s room.

“Spence, I’m bored,” he complains loudly.

“That’s nice,” Spencer says, pulling his arm away from Jon, and I’m smothering a smile when I open the door to Brendon’s room.

Brendon curled up on his bed with his notebook and a pen in hand, so intent in his writing that he doesn’t even notice my presence.

I move silently across the room to sit down beside him, beginning to peek over his shoulder—

“Hey, Brendon, what are you writing?”
♠ ♠ ♠
THE END. Wow, that sure snuck up on us fast.

IMPORTANT: I will probably write a oneshot set in this AU, detailing they're first meeting (before they knew each other) from Ryan's POV, or about something else, if I enough people show interest in that. Comment, please!

Also, if you're gonna miss this story, please check out my current chaptered Rydon/Ryden, The Most Flexible Man in the World, which follows Ryan's journey from about 14-years and onwards. Or maybe my other completed one, Kitten, starring Ryan as a actor (actress?) and Brendon as his best friend with benefits. Ooh-la-la!