Tell Me You're Not Alright
Justin Ramon
-All Back In Meg’s Point Of View-
The guys were due back in a few hours, and I was just finishing picking up what was left of the beer bottles around the kitchen. Results of me giving Dylan a small bachelorette party. The rest of the girls were laying lazily around in the living room, enjoying their last bit of time without the guys harassing them. I tried to enjoy myself as much as possible over the weekend, but somehow I couldn’t. I was starting to really feel incomplete without Matt, now that I knew I’d lost him for good.
The two hours we had left alone as just girls, we spent watching television, and laughing. Sharing girl talk that we couldn’t share otherwise, and dishing on sex. It was fun, but all good things must come to an end.
“We’re home” Brian said opening the door, and making his grand entrance of sliding in the door. Zacky followed in, next was Jimmy and then Johnny, their respected girls got up to give them welcoming home, of course I didn’t get up, no one to welcome. My thoughts wandered to Matt, whom wasn’t with them.
“Where’s Matt?” Dylan asked after breaking the long kiss with Zacky.
“Something about not feeling well, he just went to his house. Said he might be over later.” Zacky replied, then walked to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of vitamin water. “You girls have a good time?”
“Very. It was nice without you animals around” Rebecca said smiling from Jimmy’s lap.
“That hurts” Johnny said grabbing his heart. “We missed you” then leaned over the chair Patricia was sitting in and planted a kiss on her forehead. She smiled
“Well, I’m gonna go take a nap.” I said getting up and excusing myself without another word. I was not in anyway tired, but I don’t know how much more I could possibly take of all this couple / I love you bullshit. It was sickening.
I debated on what to do once I got up to my room, glancing around, my eyes fell on my open laptop. Seeming like the only option I grabbed it and sat down on my bed, pulling up my IM. Scanning over the list of online buddies, Matt was on.
I clicked his name, and a box popped up. I quietly sat biting my nails for a long time, questioning whether or not to say anything. Finally, I placed my fingers over the keys, just as I was about to type, he sent me a message.
ShadowsMatt99 says: Meg. I know your probably going to log off as soon as you read this but I just need to apologize, nothing I said over the phone was true, except that part about me wanting to be with you. I just don’t understand what to do, I can’t wait forever, but I want you to love me back.
MegRoseHaner says: I know, and I do. But that’s what makes it so difficult. I’m terrified of what will happen if I trust you again.
ShadowsMatt99 says: Don’t be. Can you meet me at the beach in 10?
MegRoseHaner says: Matt, I can’t.
I logged off immediately after saying that. What makes it so hard, is that I want to be with him more then anything in the world, but I know I can’t. I’ll never trust him completely, and the only way for him to see that, is for me to show him. I reached for my cell phone and looked in the address book until I found the name I was looking for.
Justin Ramon. The only guy, I ever even thought of dating, besides Matt.
The guys were due back in a few hours, and I was just finishing picking up what was left of the beer bottles around the kitchen. Results of me giving Dylan a small bachelorette party. The rest of the girls were laying lazily around in the living room, enjoying their last bit of time without the guys harassing them. I tried to enjoy myself as much as possible over the weekend, but somehow I couldn’t. I was starting to really feel incomplete without Matt, now that I knew I’d lost him for good.
The two hours we had left alone as just girls, we spent watching television, and laughing. Sharing girl talk that we couldn’t share otherwise, and dishing on sex. It was fun, but all good things must come to an end.
“We’re home” Brian said opening the door, and making his grand entrance of sliding in the door. Zacky followed in, next was Jimmy and then Johnny, their respected girls got up to give them welcoming home, of course I didn’t get up, no one to welcome. My thoughts wandered to Matt, whom wasn’t with them.
“Where’s Matt?” Dylan asked after breaking the long kiss with Zacky.
“Something about not feeling well, he just went to his house. Said he might be over later.” Zacky replied, then walked to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of vitamin water. “You girls have a good time?”
“Very. It was nice without you animals around” Rebecca said smiling from Jimmy’s lap.
“That hurts” Johnny said grabbing his heart. “We missed you” then leaned over the chair Patricia was sitting in and planted a kiss on her forehead. She smiled
“Well, I’m gonna go take a nap.” I said getting up and excusing myself without another word. I was not in anyway tired, but I don’t know how much more I could possibly take of all this couple / I love you bullshit. It was sickening.
I debated on what to do once I got up to my room, glancing around, my eyes fell on my open laptop. Seeming like the only option I grabbed it and sat down on my bed, pulling up my IM. Scanning over the list of online buddies, Matt was on.
I clicked his name, and a box popped up. I quietly sat biting my nails for a long time, questioning whether or not to say anything. Finally, I placed my fingers over the keys, just as I was about to type, he sent me a message.
ShadowsMatt99 says: Meg. I know your probably going to log off as soon as you read this but I just need to apologize, nothing I said over the phone was true, except that part about me wanting to be with you. I just don’t understand what to do, I can’t wait forever, but I want you to love me back.
MegRoseHaner says: I know, and I do. But that’s what makes it so difficult. I’m terrified of what will happen if I trust you again.
ShadowsMatt99 says: Don’t be. Can you meet me at the beach in 10?
MegRoseHaner says: Matt, I can’t.
I logged off immediately after saying that. What makes it so hard, is that I want to be with him more then anything in the world, but I know I can’t. I’ll never trust him completely, and the only way for him to see that, is for me to show him. I reached for my cell phone and looked in the address book until I found the name I was looking for.
Justin Ramon. The only guy, I ever even thought of dating, besides Matt.
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