I Can't Stay Away

Jon was still upset with me but I couldn’t figure out why I cared. It was most likely because of what he said a few days prior about him being the only guy out there for me. That whole conversation with him was horrible because it made me realize that the guy I had to end up with was a lying, cheating, psychopath. I didn’t get to have a dream boyfriend and I’ll never get one I’ll always be stuck being cheated on, being lied to, and getting verbally and slightly physically abused and I had to be happy about it because he was the only one who could ever put up with me.
I was thinking about this every time it was quiet and I was alone. I was pondering the situation as I sat alone in the front lounge of the bus. I wasn’t alone very long though our bus was always busy, Kyle walked in and sat next to me pulling me away from my thoughts.
“You look upset.”
“Well you do know how to read me then cause I am upset.” I admitted
“Well do you want to talk about it?” he asked I could tell he was curious to know.
“It’s just something someone said to me a couple days ago that’s getting to me.”
“Well what could it be?” he paused “I mean you try not to let things get to you most of the time.”
“Well I was talking to Jon-“ he shook his head disapprovingly before I continued. “Well he was telling me that no other guy could love me like him, that no one would put up with me and I could never do better than him, and I guess he’s right no guys could really like me.”
“Kenny tell me you don’t actually believe that do you?” he seemed so shocked
“Why wouldn’t I believe it Kyle? It has to be true.” I frowned at it.
“he’s tricking you so he can control you Kenny, as much as I hate to admit it he’s smart when it comes to being manipulative.”
“Or he’s telling me the truth like no one else will.”
“Who’s telling the truth about what?” Eric asked walking into the room.
“Kenny was told that no guy other than Jon could ever like her.” Kyle answered, the last thing I needed was everyone to be a part of this situation.
“And you believe him?” Eric asked and I nodded my head “Then you’re a fucking idiot I don’t know how you could ever believe it.” He said face angry before he stormed off.
“Why the fuck is he so upset?” I asked “I should be more upset than him.”
“Kenny I just don’t know why someone as beautiful and amazing as you would believe someone who has ruined the last three years of your life. I guess you’ve grown attached and you’ll believe anything he says even though you have amazing friends who care about you and don’t use and abuse you like Jon.” I was trying to take everything he said in. “Kenny I’ll say this once and whether or not you listen to me is up to you, people love you, you are a wonderful person and you are definitely better than Jon and as for guys liking you I know for a fact better guys like you .” he stood up and walked away I wasn’t sure what I needed to do or what I should believe. I trusted Kyle but he wasn’t always right.
I decided then to find Eric to figure out why he was so upset with me, so I walked over to where he stormed off to. I found him sitting down in the back of the bus on his laptop. “Hey are you still upset with me?” I asked hoping he’d say no.
“I would be lying if I said no, but I’m trying to get over it since I promised no drama when you forgave me.” He said and I frowned.
“Could you at least explain why you’re upset, because I’m not too sure.”
“Are you really that slow?” He paused sounding more upset “Or better question are you blind?”
“Am I supposed to understand on my own cause I don’t.” I said frustrated beyond words.
“Then I won’t waste my time explaining it.” Eric frowned “You wouldn’t believe anything unless I’m Jon.”
“Eric tell me please I’ll listen and believe you.” I pleaded.
“As long as you still believe Jon you’ll never get it.” He said closing his laptop and walking away. I felt like crying two of my best friends were upset with me and even my douche boyfriend was mad at me.
I walked out of the bus warped was over for the day but there were people setting up for the bbq, I went to find Jon but instead ran into Olli. “Hey kid, haven’t seen you in a few days how is everything going?” he asked me as he gave me a hug.
“Pretty horrible, Kyle and Eric and Jon are mad at me.” Replying to him.
“Wait Jon? Your ex boyfriend? Why do you care if he’s mad at you?” Olli was confused “And is that a tattoo?! Doesn’t Eric have the same one? Are you two together now or something?” I laughed at his confusion.
“I care that he’s mad because I do. And yes it’s a tattoo, yes it matches Eric’s, and no we’re not dating we don’t like each other like that.” I said fast “I don’t have time to talk I’ve got to go.” I said walking away and I finally found Jon standing with a blonde skank by his van.
“Jon I need to talk to you.” I said seriously, ignoring the skank who was now awkwardly standing there.
“Jon who is this?” The blonde said with her valley girl annoying voice.
“She’s a good friend back from California.” He said to her and it really hurt me but I ignored it.
“Jon were you lying to me the other day when you said those things to me or were you lying to get your way?” I paused “Oh and before you fuck him try and make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend and be ready to get lied to.” I said to the girl directly her face looked shocked and confused.
“Do you honestly think this is the right time to talk about this?” he asked and I nodded “What do you want my answer to be? Do you want me to tell you you’ll meet your prince charming, that you’ll fall in love and always be happy? It wont happen you’ll keep coming back to me no matter what I do because I was your first everything and as a girl you feel connected to that. You’re stuck with me.” I frowned he made me feel like a fool, he made me believe I was a fool.
“And as for what I said, yea other guys may like you. Maybe one of them will be better than me but you will always miss me.” He was cocky but I still felt ashamed “But as for me I’m going to have fun with this pretty lady. At least I’m letting you know what I’m doing instead of lying about it now.” He said winking at me and walking towards the blonde and she then slapped him in the face after calling him a dirty pig.
“See what you did, you lost my girl for the night.” He paused “Want to replace her?” he said with a wink I could tell he was high, I just scoffed. Yet I still continued to stand there I was kind of speechless.
“Why would I want anything to do with you after you openly admitted to cheating on me all the time like I’m worthless or something.” I said realizing how it really made me feel
“You aren’t completely worthless babe I’m just trying to knock some sense into you.”
“Oh yea well how would you feel if you found out I cheated on you.” I said thinking back to that one night Eric and I made out.
“You wouldn’t be able to have something like that on your conscious.” He said with a hundred percent sure tone.
“And what if I did anyways?” I was now the cocky one.
“Kenny did you fucking cheat on me?” he was worried now.
“I don’t know did I?” I asked him. “And if I did could you really be mad at me for it? I mean you cheat on me all the time and you don’t allow me to get mad.” I was finally standing up for myself a little.
“Kenny just tell me if you cheated on me!” he was getting frustrated.
“Why would I tell you if I did when you never told me when you cheated on me I always had to find out for myself, so have fun figuring it out.” I said walking away proud of what I’d just said.
“Wait Kenny!” He yelled as I turned around. “Look I’m sorry I’m such a jerk, I really don’t enjoy when you’re mad at me, and I do love you even though I cheat on you you’re the only girl I truly care about. You’re the only girlfriend I can see myself with for a long time.” He said his face and voice so sincere.
“Fuck you, you only like me because I put up with your shit, of course you want a steady girl who will stick around.” I said “But I’m getting sick of being played.” Mainly getting sick of him. I began to walk away from him but stopped “Oh but since I’m nice I’ll let you know I did cheat on you but I didn’t go as far as you go with other girls.” I said I wasn’t sure what came over me.
“Who was it I’ll kill him” he said so angrily his face turned red.
“You don’t need to know, I’m leaving now.” I walked back to the bus smiling even though I knew I hadn’t resolved the problem, I was still with Jon