Glide With The Breeze

Steam from the shower filled the bathroom. Cassie turned off the water and wrapped her hair in a towel before slipping into her knee length bathrobe. She opened the bathroom door a little and allowed the steam to escape into her bedroom. After brushing her teeth, she opened the door all the way and stepped into her room.

Alex had woken up while she was in the shower but was still laying down. She sat on her side of the bed and looked down at him. He smiled up at her and rested his hand on her hip.

"Can we talk about last night?" she asked.

His eyebrows pulled together at the question. "What about last night?" he asked.

"Well, I thought we were going to have sex and you seemed really into it downstairs but then you rejected me when we got upstairs. And that was after you said we needed 'us' time," she said calmly.

"Okay, hold on," Alex said, pulling himself into an upright position. "I didn't reject you, Cassandra. I told you, I was tired."

She sighed softly and turned toward him. "Maybe rejected wasn't the right word. But I know you weren't tired, at least not that tired. I just want to know what happened," she said.

"Nothing happened, Cassandra," he said defensively.

She sighed again, louder this time, but only because of the way he responded. "Alex, we said we would keep this line of communication open. If the bump is a problem, if you're not physically or sexually attracted to me right now because of the changes my body is going through, I need to know," she explained, still remaining calm.

"I'm still attracted to you the same way I was before. The day just caught up with me and I got really tired. Why are you making a mountain out of a molehill?" he asked.

Cassie rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Forget it," she said. It had become clear that she was trying to have a conversation with him that he wasn't willing to participate in.

She stood and walked to her closet. Her back was to Alex while she stared at the contents of it for a few minutes. Nothing fit right anymore but she had been managing to squeeze into most of her clothes for the last few weeks. Just as she was reaching a plain v neck tshirt, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

"You're mad," Alex said plainly as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

She tried to shrug him off, and while he moved his head, his arms stayed locked around her body. "I'm not mad," she said, turning to look at him and, consequently, causing to him to drop his arms from around her. "I'm confused. But you don't want to talk about it and that's fine."

He watched her get dressed and then disappear into the bathroom once again. He sighed and sat down on the bed. She had left the bathroom door open while she combed her long, wet hair and began to apply her usual, minimal makeup.

"Where are you going?" he asked, the silence starting to get to him.

"Angie is picking me up in about ten minutes and she's going to help me shop for maternity clothes," she said as she pulled the eyeliner pencil along her lash line. "I've been able to wear my shirts that have some stretch to them but that's only going to last for so long. And my jeans are really uncomfortable. After that, we're going to go look at paint for the baby's room. We decided on lavender and pale yellow, right?" she asked, turning her head to look at him. He nodded. "Then we're going to the office for a quick meeting with Vanessa. We have an interview after that and then I'm meeting Matt and Chelley for frozen yogurt," she continued. "They'll bring me home, since I'm going to be without my car. And I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner tonight?" she said, finishing up her makeup and walking back into the bedroom.

Alex nodded at her. "Sure," he said and then continued after a moment. "Yogurt with Chelley and Matt?" he asked. "That seems weird to me."

"They're friends. Matt is friends with just about everyone he meets. You should know that better than I do," she said with a shrug. "I have to go. I'm pretty sure Angie just got here."

He stood and caught her arm before she made it to the door. "Don't be mad," he said when she turned back to look at him.

"I'm not mad," she said, taking a couple steps toward him and giving him a quick kiss. "I have to go," she said again and disappeared out of the room.

When she got downstairs, Angie was waiting by the door for her. "Is everything okay?" she asked while Cassie slipped her feet into her shoes that were next to the door.

"Fine," Cassie replied. "Why?"

Angie shrugged and pulled open the front door, letting Cassie walk outside first. "Oh, I don't know," she said, pulling the door shut and locking it behind her. She continued as she turned around to walk to her car, speaking to Cassie's back. "Maybe because you look like someone who wanted to get laid last night but didn't."

Cassie was standing next to the car, waiting for Angie to unlock the doors. "That's what I look like?" she asked and her friend nodded. "Well that's exactly what I am, so..." she trailed off.

Angie finally unlocked the doors and Cassie got in the car in a huff. She wasn't lying when she told Alex she wasn't mad. But neither had said anything about her being frustrated, which is exactly what she was.

But she didn't say anything else on the subject. It was almost a surprise that Angie didn't either, but the reason for that was likely because it had to do with sex. And Cassie and Alex's sex life was her least favorite subject.

They talked about other things until Cassie finally snapped. She was in the dressing room trying on clothes. Angie was on the side of the curtain.

"He was really into it," she said. "I mean, really into it. And then we go upstairs and all of the sudden he's just like, 'not tonight. I'm tired,' and what the hell am I supposed to say to that?" she ranted and threw open the curtain. "I hate this shirt. It looks terrible," she said.

"It will look better in about a month," Angie replied and Cassie nodded reluctantly. "So, do you think he's cheating on you?" she asked when Cassie started to close the curtain again.

She threw it back open and stared at her best friend. "What? No, I absolutely do not think he's cheating on me. I don't know what to think, really, except that maybe he's suddenly repulsed by the fact that my stomach is huge. But that doesn't make sense because he didn't have a problem with it when he showed up in my hotel room a few days ago. Sorry. I know you didn't want or need to know that," she said.

"It's fine," Angie said. "And your stomach is not huge. Did you ask him about it?"

"Of course I did, Angie. Who are you talking to? He basically shut down on me and insisted he was just tired," she said, letting go of the curtain and allowing it to fall closed so she could try something else on. "But I'm not buying it. There's something he's not telling me. And it's not even like it's that big of a deal if we don't have sex. Sure, I like it and all but I've gone without for a lot longer than a few months during pregnancy. I just need him to talk to me about what's going on," she said, pulling a different shirt over her head and pulling the curtain back.

Angie looked directly at her, arms folded across her chest. "Maybe he really was just tired," she said and Cassie gave her a look that said she couldn't possibly really believe what she was saying. "Just hear me out. Alex has never been in this position before. This is all really, really new for him. And I'm not saying that it's doesn't wear you out too, but try to imagine all the things he's feeling. He just found out yesterday that he's having a baby girl. And he's really excited. But by the end of the day when all the excitement died down, maybe he really was-"

"Just tired," Cassie finished for her and then waved her hand in the air. "I'm not buying it. Not entirely. Yes, he may have been tired, but I'm telling you, Angie, there's something else he doesn't want to talk about. And that's the part that is bothering me. We need to have open lines of communication or we're going to fall apart."

"Now you're just being overdramatic," Angie said. "I like that shirt."

Cassie retreated back into the dressing room. "I'm not being overdramatic. Look at our history. And every single time we've had a huge fight, from the very first one before we were even dating, before we were hardly even friends, it was because we weren't communicating," she said.

"No, that first fight you guys had was because Alex is an asshole."

"Okay, yes," Cassie agreed, "But also because of the communication thing," she said and pulled the curtain back, showing Angie a new shirt. She scrunched her nose and shook her head and Cassie let go of the curtain. "And I don't really want to be fighting with him over stupid little things until it all blows up and one of us walks out."

Angie pulled the curtain open this time and stared at Cassie. "Is there something you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Like what?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Like how you're afraid Alex is going to leave you and you're going to have to raise this baby on your own."

Cassie pulled her shirt over her head and gathered all the clothes she decided to buy. "You're ridiculous," she said, walking toward the register. "And by the way, I could raise a baby on my own if I had to."

Angie nodded. "Sure. But you don't want to. And I don't blame you. No one would. But you're over here yelling about how you guys don't have open lines of communication but that works both ways. You're trying to get him to talk about whatever is bugging him but you don't want to talk about what's bugging you," she said.

"Nothing was bugging me until he rejected me last night and then didn't want to talk about it this morning," Cassie said, handing her debit card to the sales associate.

"Tell. Him. That."

Cassie sighed and watched her friend walk away. She took her card back from the girl behind the counter and signed her receipt and then grabbed her bags and followed behind Angie. In an unspoken agreement, they both dropped the subject.

The rest of the day zipped right by and before she knew it, she was walking in the front door. Alex was on the couch in the living room staring at the blank TV. Without a word, she sat on the love seat across the room from him and did the same.

"I washed your car today," Alex said after a few minutes of silence.

Cassie nodded. "Thank you," she mumbled. Silence settled between them again until she couldn't take it anymore. "I don't," she paused, growing slightly afraid of what she might be starting and how he might react, "want to raise this baby by myself," she finished, shifting her eyes from the TV to the floor as she spoke.

It took a minute for Alex to respond. "You don't have to," he said quietly, caught completely off guard by her admission.

"I might," she said.

Alex shifted his eyes toward her. Hers were still fixed on the floor in front of her. "Why would you have to raise the baby on your own?" he asked cautiously.

"We're not communicating. And when we don't communicate, we fight. And I don't want to fight about stupid little things because we're avoiding the big thing and then have it blow up in our faces," she said.

He didn't respond. Cassie sighed and stood, picking up her bags as she did so. She made her way upstairs and started to make room in her closet for her new clothes. She had hung about half of them up when she heard the door open. When she finished, she turned to look at him. He was standing against the door frame with his arms crossed.

He stared at her for a good minute before standing straight up and uncrossing his arms. "It's different," he said finally. "It's not just me and you anymore, you know, when we're in the bedroom. You have a baby in there. And it moves," he said.

Cassie nodded at him. "You thought about it when we were coming upstairs last night," she said and he nodded. "Freaked you out a little?" she asked. He nodded again. "Okay," she said.

Alex shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm not saying I don't want to have sex with you. It's just weird. And I need to get my head around it. And I will. I promise. Just give me a little time," he said.

She walked toward him slowly and put her hands on his sides, taking hold of his shirt in her hands and looked up at him. "Alex, I will give you as long as you need. But I need you to talk to me. You have to tell me what's going on, otherwise we're going to have days much worse than today," she said.

"Today was not good," he said, pulling his hands out of his pockets and wrapping his arms around her.

"Today was not good," she agreed, leaning forward and resting her forehead against his chest.

They stood there for a few minutes until Alex kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and he smiled at her before kissing her lips. "Still want to go to dinner with me?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Let me change into clothes that actually fit."

She turned back to the closet and picked an outfit out. After changing quickly, she turned to see that Alex had gone into the bathroom so she sat on the edge of the bed. Her mind wandered to the conversation she'd had with Vanessa less than a week before. When Alex came out of the bathroom, he walked toward the door and stopped when he realized Cassie was still sitting on the bed.

"Ready?" he asked.

But instead of answering, she said, "I think we should move back to Maryland."