What If?

The following Monday after lying to Jacob sucked. Bella would always give me a bad look, whenever I got close to her and Edward, causing me to have to steer clear, and Alice was "camping" with Rosalie and Emmett.

It was terrible, because I felt completely alone for the first time in a very long time, and that was a feeling that didn't sit well with me. I found myself jonsing to be able to talk to someone other than this annoying kid named Mike that kept trying to gather my attention.

And when lunch rolled around, I finally thought it was going to be going a little better.

"Hey," I'd heard a voice say, and so I looked up and saw Edward standing over me with a gorgeous smile plastered on his snow pale features as he sat across from me, a plateful of food that I knew he had no intention of eating placed just before him. "How are you?"

I bit my lip, glancing around for Bella, which caused a soft tenor chuckle to escape his vocal cords and I didn't even have to glance in his directions to know that he'd rolled his eyes upon hearing my thoughts of insecurity about his brunette girlfriend. Obviously he knew that we were avoiding each other, but I wasn't about to ask what form of the story she had told him.

"She went home, she didn't feel good," he informed me and I peeked over, seeing a sly smile along his features in place of the one that had previously been placed there. Something ticked in the back of my head and I knew instantly that that was most likely a lie.

But I kept my mouth shut by shoving a fry into it and nodding my head in his general direction, smiling softly, and he all but giggled, rolling his honey eyes for a brief moment before looking back down at his own plate.

"She told Jacob about my talking to you and Alice..." I found myself saying after a few minutes of silence, keeping my eyes on the table, and, upon all but hearing his teeth grind, I knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Especially when I peeked up and saw a look of pure displeasure and anger on his face. "He yelled at me about it the other night... That's why I've been avoiding her. Just because I know you wanted to ask me that at some point in this conversation anyway."

I rested my chin on my hand, looking over his features carefully. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn he was a statue with how still he sat. A cold, unhappy statue. Which caused a feeling in my gut to pang, because I hadn't meant to cause him to feel angry. I just thought he deserved to hear at least part of the truth as to why Bella and I seemed to hate each other when we used to be just like best friends.

"Don't worry, it's really...it's nothing.... Man, I wouldn't have told you if I knew you'd go all Mr. Macho-Angry-Statue man on me...." I said quietly and that's when his gold eyes moved, looking directly into my brown ones, before softening ever so softly, though that may have just been in my head. "Please don't be mad at Bella...she was just....I'm not supposed to be talking to you, according to my stupid brother's rules. She was just watching me, and making sure I didn't break them, like she promised Jacob she would and..."

I bit my lip, masking my thoughts as best I could not to say everything else I wanted to say, and hating that part of it had been a lie once again. And for that, a deep guilt filled my gut, confusing me ever so softly.

Luckily, before I was able to read into it any more, Edward just shrugged, said "Whatever, I'm going to class," and stood, walking away, leaving me there feeling very confused and guilty and...

Hurt?