What If?

♥back to Dakotah’s point of view♥

I walked home.

Jacob hadn’t come to get me, which left a bad feeling in the pit of my gut, and I had even started running a few times, that worry becoming too much for me to handle. As it started raining, my clothes began to weigh me down and I was forced back into a complete walking position.

My thoughts ran rampant, still. Thinking of all of the possibilities of what could have happened.

Thinking of what could have happened to Jacob and if he was okay. But, also, if Edward was okay. Which I knew was a stupid question, as I had told him the love of his life was cheating on him, but physically, I hoped he hadn’t gone and done anything to terribly stupid.

I got home around almost seven, dripping wet, and bit my tongue at seeing that Jacob’s car was missing from the driveway.

‘Had he just been so busy with Bella that he forgot about me..?’

I walked into the house, tossing my bag to the side and yelling out, “Hello?”

“Where have you been?!” was the first thing I heard, my dad yelling from the living room before he rolled into the hallway where I stood. And by the look on his face, I instantly knew something was terribly, completely wrong.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking at him with serious eyes, dropping my coat in a random place, my heart pounding deeply in my chest.

“Where have you been, Dakotah?” he persisted.

“Where’s Jacob?” I asked, walking past him and looking in the living room and, upon seeing absolutely no sign of him, I headed toward his room.

“He’s at Bella’s,” he said, and his voice was tight. I bit my tongue and turned around.

“He didn’t pick me up…” I whispered softy, looking at my dad’s eyes and seeing worry through and through. “No one came in his place…” His eyes flickered softly.

“Embery was supposed to, I called him…”

“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked, looking at his eyes still, my worry further increasing at his avoidance of my question and the look in his eyes that just screamed secretivity.

He sighed after a few moments and then rolled up to me, looking me in the eyes, saying in a very soft voice, “That…bloodsucker… he attacked Jacob earlier, when Jake was visiting Bella… he’s healing alright, some of the pack is there, making sure that he heals alright, but as of even half an hour ago, he’s still in bad shape…”

Before he finished, I was heading back towards the door and grabbing my jacket, pulling it on and then reaching in my bag, taking out my cell.

“I’ll be back.”

And then I stepped out of the door and slammed it shut, flipping it shut behind me.

When I heard the feminine voice answer, I said instantly, “Pick me up at the border.” And then slammed the phone shut, heading straight towards there from my porch.

/♥\

“You tried to kill him?!”

This was the first thing I said as I stormed into Edward’s room, not even bothering to knock, just slamming the door open. I didn’t even care if I hurt his ears at that moment.

He looked at me, a glare in his golden eyes and went to start speaking, though I held up my hand and started to yell at him again.

“How dare you?! He’s not the one that was cheating on you! He’s never done ANYTHING to you personally, other than be a werewolf and…well…I guess now steal your girlfriend…But still! Beating him almost to death?! That isn’t even right! You don’t just go beating up people because you’re mad! Punch walls like normal people!”

“Are you done?” he let out in a growl, his eyes glaring, but I could see a sadness in them that made my heart hurt, and I sighed. He stiffened and shook his head.

“Just get out.” He said, his voice soft, as he looked back at his carpet. I bit my lip and looked around the room, almost laughing when I seen that he had done what most people did, and that the Cullen’s would have to do some plaster jobs on their wall.

And then I looked back at him, and, before I could stop myself, I hugged him.

“He didn’t deserve to be beaten like that…” I whispered as I held him tight, not caring that he didn’t hug back, but instead acted like he was a statue and stayed as still as possible. “But I understand why you’re so sad… It hurts, losing the person you loved most… but at least she’s still alive…and she’s happy… And you want her happy, right?”

I pulled away, looking at his face. He wasn’t looking at me. I don’t think he was looking at anything. His eyes almost looked empty for a moment there. And then he looked at me.

“Go away, Dakotah…” he said quietly, pushing me away from him, but gently, moving me into a standing position, standing with me.

“Not until you tell me that you’re okay. And that you won’t do that again.” I said, standing my ground, though I knew he could easily move me if he wanted to. He looked at me, almost stubbornly, before sighing, upon hearing my concerned thoughts.

“I will be fine. But I make no promises about that…mutt…as long as he stays away… It’ll be fine…” he said, his voice tight. “And I would suggest you do the same.”

His eyes held warning, almost looking dangerous, before he disappeared from my line of sight, and I sighed softly, turning and heading down the stairs to ask Alice to bring me to the next place I needed to go, a feeling of disappointment setting deep in my gut.

/♥\

I bit my lip as I walked through the dark, damp place. I was glad that the rain had stopped.

I felt bad, for not actually going to see Jacob, like I had originally planned, but I don’t think I could see him when he was all injured up and such. I just…I couldn’t go and see him all bed ridden and bruised.

So I walked, instead, towards the grave, my body shaking, whether it be from the cold or the recent events, I didn’t know. But I needed to see her, talk to her. Hope that she could actually help me through it.

I stopped as I reached the right headstone, biting my lip, and kneeling on the wet dirt and running my fingers slowly along the inscription, reading it quietly in my head.

Here lies Sarah Black.
Loving mother and wife.

I felt the tears prick in the corner of my eyes.

“Mom…I’m confused…” I whispered. “He almost died…Jacob almost died… he was almost killed…”

I trailed off, my voice shaking, as I pulled my hand back.

“You probably already know that… But…. I…” I bit my lip harshly, letting my damp hair fall in my face, tears falling. “I want to be mad at Edward… He’s… he tried to kill him… And I…I still can’t hate him… I know I should. I should have from the beginning, and now look at me… I…I even hugged him, tried to console him, when my own brother is sitting there, bruised and bloodied and most likely still in a good amount of pain because of him! I should be….I shouldn’t even have said anything…”

I shook my head, closing my eyes tightly and wishing that she was there, that she could respond. I found myself feeling even worse, missing her hugs and advice, and just her voice in general.

“You shouldn’t have left…” I whispered, shaking my head. “Because it’s just getting worse now that you’re gone.”

And then I stood, walking away with tears falling down my face, not pulling myself to look back.