What If?

They’d had him home by the time I got there. He was laying on the couch, still pretty bruised, but fully able to sit up and move.

“Jake…” I whispered upon seeing him, and he looked at me, a soft smile on his face. I felt the knot that had been in my stomach loosen just a little. He had no idea that I was the reason Edward had found out and beaten him almost to death.

That made me feel better. But only just a bit.

“Are….are you okay?” I asked, my voice laced with worry as I hurried to his side, looking him over, even though only a few bruises were visible now. It seemed he’d even changed his clothes, as they weren’t covered in blood.

“I’ll be fine…but that bastard bloodsucker won’t be when I get done with him.” He stated this as a low growl, glaring at the ground and clenching his fists. I laid my hand on his softly, squeezing it as far as I could around his large fist and leaned into him, noting his slight wince.

“He was only mad…You were sleeping with his girlfriend, Jake…” I whispered, hating how sympathetic towards Edward I sounded while speaking to my brother, but not being able to help it. I knew his anger. “He shouldn’t have beaten you like he did…but it’s no reason to start a full out war…”

I stroked my thumb over the back of his hand, hoping to calm him, but he just looked at me, almost as though I had three heads, and he said, “You’re standing up for that…monster?!”

“No, no no no, not even,” I stated instantly, shaking my head, my eyes widening in false shock, that I hoped he bought, though I didn’t believe he would at first. “I just… don’t want you to do anything stupid. If you try to start a war, a lot more people will be hurt. Like the pack could get severely hurt, people could die. Jake…we can’t have that happen. Don’t you think we’ve lost enough?”

He looked at me for a long moment before growling again, looking away and pulling his hand away from mine.

“You’re right…but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it,” He said and I inwardly sighed a thick sigh of relief. I pulled him into my arms and he chuckled softly. “Eewww, you’re all weeettt!”

He pushed at my shoulder playfully, causing me to smile, glad that we had gotten past that with little bumps and giggled, peeking up at him. He was looking at me with curious eyes.

“You smell kinda funny…” He said and I froze, but tried not to show panic, hoping what he was smelling wasn’t Edward’s scent and that it was something else. I prayed for it to be something else. He picked up my hands and looked, seeing a small amount of dirt that I hadn’t even realized had been there. “You went and saw Mom…you smell of the death that surrounds that place…”

I looked away, “Don’t make it sound like a crime. Just because you and Dad don’t care that she’s gone, doesn’t mean I feel the same.”

And then I pulled my hands away, fully knowing I had been wrong to say anything like that to him, knowing full well that he had cared. But he didn’t ever go to see her. Not like I did, so he had no right to judge me for going.

/♥\

School sucked. Without Edward being my friend. I’d be around him, and all he’d do was ignore me. He wouldn’t even look at me, just acted as though I didn’t exist, as though I wasn’t there. And that hurt me even more so than when I thought about him hating my guts. Because, at least if he hated me, he paid some attention to me, he would look at me sometimes…

But him completely pretending I didn’t exists? That hurt more than just about anything.

“He’ll come around,” Alice was telling me as we sat at lunch, me just staring at my plate with a blank expression.

“You said that last time.”

Alice giggled, causing me to glance at her, and she was looking at me with a secretive smile and a glint in her honey eyes, twinkling brightly.

“And I was RIGHT last time,” she said in a triumphant voice and then went to tap on her forehead. “I’m ALWAYS right about these sort of things, remember? It may not be mindreading, but it has its perks.”

I just sighed and shook my head, flicking my fingers at a fry and peeking over at the table where Edward sat by himself, also staring down at a plateful of food he had no intention of eating, and then looked back up at Alice, shaking my head softly, “This isn’t like last time, Al…He’s… It’s not like last time at all.”

I looked down and closed my eyes tightly, taking a few deep breaths and then looking back at her and shaking my head. She had a slight pout on her face, but she was trying not to smile, and then she shrugged.

“Whatever you want to believe, honey…whatever you want to believe…”