What If?

The air was thick as Bella drove me to school, her face holding that smug smirk and me pressing myself as close to the door as possible, desperately wanting nothing more than to just get away from her, my gaze focused intensely on the drops of rain that pelted the windshield, though they posed as a very poor distraction.

So it wasn't a surprise that I lept from the damned place as soon as it pulled into the school parking lot, not even caring to wait until it stopped.

My feet stumbled below me, a random fit of clumsy mixed with my stupidity of trying to exit a moving car, and I braced myself for the ground to impact, when a sensation of cold washed over my arm. My eyes, which I hadn't realized were closed, were looking up into the bright honey ones of Edward.

My breath hitched and my heart sped up lightly at the slight concern in his eyes, as though he didn't care that I probably reeked of Bella but only making sure I was okay, though he had made sure that I hadn't fallen, which was really the only thing that could harm me.

I felt my face heating as he smiled softly upon seeing I was okay and I felt my mind wander for only a moment before I remembered the events from earlier this morning, causing me to instantly pull my arm from Edward's, my eyes flickering to Bella, who watched the scene with interest, a smug smile planted on her face, though her eyes shone with jealousy upon realizing that she may have been wrong.

And, as bad as it was for her to JUST know about the picture-with which I quickly disposed thoughts of-, if she were to find out about the kisses that the two had shared... I just knew that nothing good would come from it.

So I backed away a few steps, smiled weakly at Edward and muttered a quick thanks for not letting me fall before quickly hurrying towards the building, long before the bell was supposed to have rang.

♥

My knee was bouncing up and down nervously, my eyes on the table as I heard, but didn't actually listen, to the teacher at the front droning on about whatever it is that we were learning, but my mind was in a completely different universe as I watched my hands draw aimless, stupid little doodles in my notebook. If asked what I were doing, I couldn't respond with a logical answer, as I had no idea, and that was the full extent of the point.

It had been a feat, trying to keep my mind from Bella finding the picture I had stashed under my pillow and avoiding Edward at every turn, which was also hard, as HE didn't want to be avoided. And I almost missed the way he was before, the cold and distant Edward. Because at least then, I could have dealt with being around him with Bella knowing about my liking of him.

If she found out that he might even have the slightest of feelings for me-

"Ms. Black!"

My eyes snapped up, landing on the teacher. His eyes were boring into me, that angry yet disinterested look in them as he glared at me through his glasses, that hung low on his long nose.

"Yea..."

"Do you mind sharing with us what is so interesting on that paper that you must stare at it and daydream instead of actually listening?"

I bit my lip, casting my glance down to see a doodle of Edward's name over and over, as well as a very accurate little doodle of cartoon Bella drowning in a pool of sharks.

"No!" I said quickly, snapping my book shut as he went to take a peek, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and nibbling softly as I looked around at him. "Sorry, sir, I'm only just... I'm sorry..."

He just rolled his eyes, looking away from me and going back to scribbling his stupid diagrams on his boards, though I couldn't actually understand a single thing of what was going on, causing me to sigh and close my eyes tightly, glad when the bell finally rang; until I realized that it was only just lunch-time.

My heart sank in my stomach and I sat in place, hugging my notebook close and closing my eyes, sinking into the seat and rubbing my temples before slowly pulling myself out of the seat, not knowing which thought was more dreadful: staying there and listening to the teacher begin to lecture me (or try and get me to ta kl about something) or trying to avoid running into Edward at lunch, though knowing it was inevitable if I wanted to talk to Alice.

My eyes closed tightly and I walked from the room, forcing my feet to move towards the cafeteria before closing my eyes and instead found myself in the bathroom, sitting in a stall by myself and running a hand through my hair.

"God, I hate Bella..." I whispered softly as my thoughts continued to swim.

"You're not the only one."

My heart skipped and I looked up to see Edward in the stall with me, his brow quirked as he looked down on me and I instantly put up one of my walls, humming in my mind the lyrics to the first song that happened to pop up.

"You're hiding your thoughts again, as well as avoiding me," he said, sounding concerned. "I thought that was my job... And you got mad at ME for it, when did this turn around?"

"Not fair, you avoided me for no reason-"

"You have a reason?"

I looked away, biting my lip again as I looked up at him for just a moment before looking away, "Why are you even in here? This is the girl's bathroom..."

"Dakotah."

I sighed exasperatedly," Fine, I had a picture of you under my pillow-you are not allowed to judge, at least it wasn't still hidden somewhere in Bella's room!- and...and then apparently, I was dreaming about you-Again, you are not allowed to judge, because that's something I can't control- and then, I... apparently I TALK in my sleep, and Bella... Bella had to be on what my brother calls 'Dakotah driving duty', and she was in my room, and she heard me muttering your name... and then... and then she was all 'Oh yea, you like him and I know it and blah-blah-blah!' and...and she found the picture...because obviously she knew it was gone...and I couldn't... I... She knows that I like you and..and if she found out that you might even remotely have some feelings towards me, then... then she'll tell Jacob and...and Jacob... well you know Jacob... There's no way he'd react at all well to information like this...and I just... I was panicking and I-"

He waited until then before finally stopping my jumbled flow of words by placing his lips over mine, those wonderfully chill lips ceasing any and all of the messy cramping that had been clambering through my mind since this morning.

"Then we'll have to make sure that she doesn't find out," was as all he was able to get out before another bell rang, and I was left in the stall by myself, breathless, as the tingling feeling consumed me once more.