Monsters.

I thought I had escaped them. They chased me through my dreams; taunting me whichever way I turned. For months, every time I shut my eyes their cold brown eyes and gaunt faces would appear. Mostly they would laugh but sometimes they tried to hurt me and I would wake in a cold sweat. I had lost count of the times I had tried to escape them, but they always over powered me. They were too strong - or I was too weak - and they were relentless.

The sleepless nights began to take their toll on me. My mind was in a state of constant confusion and my eyes became permanently bloodshot. Friends and family were concerned, but what could I do? The monsters were always there. My condition gradually worsened, until one day – under doctor’s orders – I was sent home to the village where I had spent my childhood. Under the careful eye of my mother I would recover, no matter how long it took. I had not much hope but I desperately wanted a cure and I would try anything that got me time off work.

The nightmares stopped for a week or so. The monsters never left me, but they stopped their constant harassment and I was able to get some rest. This, however, was not to last. They soon reappeared, worse than ever. Each night, bony fingers and sharp teeth found new ways to cause pain and my invalid state soon returned. Once more, I was hopelessly ill.
My father encouraged me to take walks in the forest that bordered our property. He noticed that I always returned home calmer then when I left and hoped that it gave me relief from the creatures in my sleep. The tall trees and green foliage were completely indifferent to my suffering, and this thought soothed my tattered nerves; I could lose myself in this forest. At first I was amused by my daydreams of running off into the forest and never returning but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be a good idea. The creatures couldn’t follow me there; I would be free, completely free.

And why not? I had always enjoyed camping as a child and the lifestyle seemed to suit me. My blood always pulsed through my veins when I was there, stimulated by the untainted air, and I was always left feeling healthy and wholesome. I was always told how healthy I looked after I returned from any trip into the wild.
Of course, I would have to separate myself from my former life and become totally immersed in the forest. If I retained just one part of the old me, they would be able to track me down and make my life a living hell once more. The plan, once I gave it root in my mind, quickly formed and before I knew it I was packing supplies and equipment and I soon found it was the eve of my departure. I was left alone in my bedroom to think over the future that lay before me.

I began to panic. What if my plans did not work? What if my parents discovered that my trip, which I had told them was only for a few days, was to be permanent? They would not – could not – understand, and faced with the loss of their child they would always try to prevent me leaving. I felt trapped by the walls that surrounded me on every side. They seemed to be moving closer and closer every moment. The collar of my shirt was painfully tight, restricting the flow of precious air to my lungs. I grasped at it, desperately trying to release its deadly grip on me. My breathing became shallow and quick as I struggled with the buttons for long minutes. I was convinced that I would die, my vision became blurred and my thoughts were no longer clear. The monsters were suddenly upon me. They laughed and grabbed my clothing, pulling me in every direction. Their pale skin was cold against my own and sent chills through me. I struggled, trying to free myself from their grasp, but they were strong. They taunted me, daring me to fight back, but this was not possible. I collapsed on the ground with their hysterical laughter ringing in my ears.

Suddenly, cool hands were on my face and unbuttoning my shirt. They were pressed against my face, soothing my flushed cheeks. My airways now clear, I breathed deeply before looking up at my saviour. It was one of the monsters, although it wore the face of my mother – a clever disguise, but I was cleverer - and I jumped to my feet, in a fit of anger.
“Stand back, demon!” I cried. The creature looked worried, but I saw right through it.
“This… This act...” I spat “…will not work. For some unfathomable reason, you wish to heighten my suffering as much as possible. But I will fight you – and continue to fight you – for as long as there is breath in my lungs.”
“Are you alright? It’s not the nightmares again, is it?” it said. Fighting the revulsion that rose within me, I wrenched myself free of its grip and grabbed my pack which was lying on the floor. After months of cloudiness, I could finally think clearly. I knew what I had to do. Ignoring the creature, I left my bedroom, my house, and walked off into the forest. I had disappeared from human society forever.

* * *

I stared up into the overhanging branches above me. The trees loomed like giants, completely unaware of my existence, of my suffering. I felt in that moment the complete insignificance of my being and for the first time it did not bother me. I was free from the pressures enforced on my by my fellow man. How magnificent it was to be reliant of no one but myself!

At first, I followed the track that but soon realised that, were I to stay on it, any man could find me; the very thing I wished to avoid. Quickly, I changed my course, heading straight into the wilderness. My destination was to be the mountain that loomed over the village where I had passed my youth. At long last I judged that I had put enough distance between myself and the monster. I shuddered at the very thought of him; was there no limit to the filth and destruction caused by the most repugnant of species? Would they ever cease to exist? Or would they spread, like a disease, slowly but surely across the face of the Earth, until nothing was left? Grinning to myself at the thought of my lucky escape, I began to unpack.

After my long day I was weary enough to sleep for a thousand years. I quickly succumbed to the darkness that was pulling me under, falling into a slumber that God almighty could not wake me from. But this was not to last. The creatures that had been haunting my dreams for months were not banished by my own exile. They advanced on with eyes full of malice. They seized me, their grip strong, and forced me into a room that was bare of furnishings. There was a single window but it was barred. I heard the click of a lock and in that instant I knew the monsters would not come back for me. Wild with anger, I pounded my fists against the door with enough strength to break a man’s head. However, it held. What right had these strange monsters to imprison me? I, who had left the city to avoid precisely this, was a free man! In my excited state, I failed to notice the room becoming increasingly smaller with every moment. It was only when the ceiling brushed against the crown of my head that I was made aware of my impending doom. I lashed out, smashing my flailing limbs against the walls, desperate to escape. The room continued to shrink, oblivious to me. I continued to flail until my arms were pinned flat against my sides, and my chest became slowly more constricted. I struggled against my fate that it was obvious I would be crushed.

I opened my eyes and realised that I was not, in fact, in a prison but wrapped in the folds of my tent which had collapsed around me as I rolled about during the night. This was no consolation. I was still trapped by the fabric and could not move or breathe, so I struggled on. Finally, after many long moments, I felt for my belt knife which I kept mercifully close to my side and sliced my way through my tent. My head poked through the hole and cool, night air washed over me. I rejoiced at the first glimpse of sun, as it was peeking over the mountains in the distance. Such beautiful red and gold! The explosion of colour across the sky mesmerised me for a minute. But the fight was not yet over. Remembering where I was, I slashed my knife about, cutting the remains of my tent to ribbons, cursing the fabric that had separated me from the environment around me. If I was ever to become truly a part of it, I must sleep in the open, under the stars. At long last, I was released from my prison and stood panting in the early morning light with sweat dripping down my face. I immediately rekindled the fire that I had left last night. Once it had grown strong and bright, I unceremoniously threw the slashed canvas into the flames. They caught alight quickly and I gloried in the knowledge that I was now, finally, free.

The weather seemed unusually bright for winter; the very birds seemed to be chirping in celebration. I set about my morning chores grinning broadly, unaware of the madness that showed on my face. The sun rose higher in the sky and I ate a small breakfast from the rations I had brought with me. Feeling nourished, my thoughts began to stray to last night and the monsters who stalked me once more. Filthy wretches! Why could I not be left alone?

I immediately resolved on quitting my present location and haphazardly stuffed my pack with my remaining possessions. Slinging it over my shoulders, I noticed it was much lighter than the previous day. I quickly set off, anxious to avoid further contact with any other humans. My day was long and strenuous, but this I barely gave thought to. My mind was chiefly occupied with putting as many miles as possible between myself and my former home. I began to think once more of the oppressive cities and strict social codes that I had been used to following and I was driven to hike for many hours without a single break. I lost all notion of time and soon the darkness was upon me once more. I decided to stop for the night under a rock shelter. I felt that this was a suitable distance from my previous campsite and would be very agreeable to me. I was not hungry but I forced myself to eat, knowing that sustenance was essential to my survival. Like the previous night, sleep quickly overcame me and I dreamed contentedly, under the single blanket that I had not destroyed that morning.

My dreams soon took a more sinister turn; the monsters had returned. Furious at my escape, they tried again to take my life. This time however, they muttered a few words and my very clothes seemed to revolt against me. The fabric pulled me across the ground; I struggled against the threads but they had a hold on me that I could not fight. I was dragged to my knees onto the rocks beneath me, which cut into my flesh. The monsters pulled me to the edge of a cliff, leaving a trail of blood behind me. I screamed when I realised what they intended for me. But no one was around to hear me, I had made very sure of that. I had barely a moment to glimpse the jagged rocks that would break my fall when I was thrust over the edge.

I awoke, suddenly and painfully, for in waking I sat up quickly and dashed my head upon the ceiling of my makeshift bedroom. I held my skull in agony and waited for the pain to die down slowly, so very slowly when I saw the blood left behind on the rock. I was sickeningly reminded of my dream. Bile rose in my throat and I fought against it; fought and lost. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and crawled out of my shelter, aching all over. Stupid, stupid man! My ignorance and stupidity was astonishing! I, who had believed all my connections with other men severed, was still as bound to them as ever!

“Clothes!” I cried, ripping the very objects from my body in disgust. They were the one thing that distinguished man above beast, and the only thing, apart from food that I still carried. For as long as I owned these items society must always have its claim on me. Once again, the fabric went straight into the fire and I would not, could not rest until all that remained was a fine, white ash. The pack and remaining food received the same fate and finally… finally I could relax. I was all alone in the wilderness. Alone, all alone, and freer than any one had ever been before.

But my happiness did not last. I sat, waiting for the sun to rise, but the sky was grey and gloomy. Clouds loomed over head, threatening to storm. I could not enjoy the sky and my skin began to itch. At first it was a mere annoyance, but the feeling grew until I could not sit still. My fingers were a blur, everywhere at once, desperately trying to relieve the pain, for that was what it had grown into. My skin was raw and bloody, but I could not stop. I realised then that the monsters from my nightmares were making one last effort to draw me in and contaminate me with their disease.
“Come to us Brother!” They called to me “You must come” But I was no longer one of them, they had no hold left on me.

I ran, faster than I ever had before, sending taunts over my shoulder as they gave chase, They were fast, but I was faster. I outstripped them and soon I was miles ahead. My heart pumped furiously and my lungs screamed with the efforts, but I could not rest. As long as they followed, I must run. I ran through the morning, focusing only on the mountain that I had chosen as my destination and future home. It slowly, very slowly, grew closer. And still I ran. Unconsciousness threatened to pull me under as my limbs became weary but I fought against it, those dreadful creatures would be a thousand times worse if I slept. This time there would be no escape.

By early afternoon, I began to slow. I was hungry, so very hungry. I had run for so long, surely I could spare some time to eat and rest my swollen and bruised feet. My lead on them was great and I decided I could afford a break. I reduced my pace to a walk, only stopping to find edible plants. I ate and ate, but I was soon hungrier than ever. I walked on. At nightfall they came. The monsters had finally caught up with me and were waiting to exact their revenge. My skin began to itch again and I felt that my very blood was revolting against me, being called by those demons that had ruined my life. I itched and itched, not caring that there was barely a part of me that remained my original pale colour. It was too much. It consumed me.

I walked on through wind, rain and snow, unable to stop tearing at my skin, but the walking took my mind off the pain. After a considerable amount of time, I reached a river. Without stopping to think, I dived headfirst into the placid water. It chilled me to the bone but I could not feel it. All I felt was sweet, blissful relief. The liquid surrounded me, soothing my raw, chapped skin. The burning and itching I had felt was washed away, down the river, never to be seen again. I scrubbed at my skin, desperate to wash off any last residue of the filth of man left on my skin. My fingers and toes became frozen, but still I scrubbed. The monsters, who still followed, one by one turned around and walked away. I laughed manically, hysteria overcoming me. For hours I laughed, so happy to be free of them. No longer would the creatures haunt me.

I caught a glimpse of the last monster remaining, a grin spread across his face, taunting me. It was hideous, it was repugnant, filthy, everything I had been trying to escape. I stared at the surface of the river for a long time, watching my reflection stare back at me.