The Bloody Masquerade

I remained in the bedroom, alone at first. I just sat there thinking with numb realisation that I was beginning to live. I was gaining a life. A family. I wasn’t meant to have this. I wasn’t allowed. It was far too risky. If the Old World found out about me, they would hunt me down and find a way to kill me. I believe cutting my head off would do the trick but I wasn’t particularly keen in trying it out. Silently, I decided I had to start distancing myself from Alexis and Eugene. I couldn’t let myself get any closer to them than I already was.

My eyes shot up to the door when I suddenly realised someone was watching me. Silently, Elgar stood at the doorway, looking a little scared. When I didn’t move or speak, Elgar plucked up the courage to enter. He shuffled into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning away as if to be as far from me as possible.

“Alex is talking to Eugene. He’s a little upset.” He mumbled to me.

“I know but I can’t sympathise with him if he won’t tell me what’s bothering him.”

He nodded his head in agreement. “Martha keeps telling him that.” If he noticed the sudden twitch of the eyebrows that formed my face into a scowl, he didn’t let on. “But he has reason to be scared. He’s special. All specials are threatened by those who are scared of them or want to use them.”

“It’s why I need to teach him how to defend himself.”

“Which in turn will make him dangerous.” Elgar said softly. “You’re special, but in a different way. People would want you dead if they knew.” He hesitated. “If only Eugene was a special vampire. Silver Bloods seem to be hailed in their kind and constantly protected by all. It’s only in the other races that the specials are abused.”

“But he isn’t so I’m just going to have to keep on protecting him.” I said quietly.

Elgar smiled. “And I will help you. I don’t want Eugene to end up hurt.”

I nodded my head, giving a brief smile to show my appreciation for his help, and then lapsed into silence. I was mildly surprised that Elgar did not get up and leave. Instead he remained beside me, perched on the edge of the bed, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

“Martha is kind and quite mothering. Werecats are only capable of having children in their first life so she can’t have her own now. Currently her child is in the memory loss stage, too young to remember what he is. I guess that’s why they took on me when Alex asked them.”

“Why did he?”

“Who?”

“Alexis. Why is he hiding you? Where’s your pack? Shouldn’t you be with your real mother?” I asked, turning my head slightly to observe him.

I nearly wanted to take back my questions. Elgar suddenly looked guarded, unnerved even. He didn’t like this subject.

“Martha is my real mother, even if she is not blood related. Alex brought me here when I was two and has kept me away from our pack ever since. Bad things happened there. I can’t go back. Neither can Alex. We’re lone wolves now.” He managed to say but by his body language I knew he didn’t want to go into any further.

I raised my hand and ignored it when he flinched and let my hand rest on his head, petting his hair softly. “Thank you. I will wait for Alexis to tell me more so don’t force yourself.”

Elgar glanced up and gave me a tentative smile of thanks then stood up sharply when his attention perked up. With a quick nod of his head, he walked out of the room shortly before Alexis appeared, holding Eugene’s hand. Eugene was hiding slightly behind Alexis’ leg and his eyes were fixated on the floor. He didn’t resist however when Alexis tugged him into the room and held him by his shoulders, forcing him to face me.

“Now tell Augusta what you’ve told me. She is the one taking care of you, guarding you. She needs to know why you are against learning.” Alexis said gently.

Eugene looked up at him then slowly let his eyes meet mine. He shuffled his feet slightly and wrung his hands, looking more than unhappy at the idea of telling me what was feeling. With a gentle nudge from Alexis, he opened his mouth and forced words to come out.

“I don’t want to learn.” He said stiffly.

“I know that but you have to. You’ll die quickly otherwise.” I replied softly, shifting my weight so I could place my elbows on my legs and lean my chin in my hands. “Why don’t you want to learn? Don’t you want to live?”

He nodded his head a few times but he remained silent. I waited patiently for him to continue. I could tell he was gathering his thoughts and the courage to tell me what he feared by the way his eyes were roaming about the room nervously. Eventually he squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled deeply, turning his face to the floor and stood uncomfortably rigid.

“I don’t want to learn because I don’t want to end up like my mother. She hurt others because she was strong.” He managed to say and swallowed heavily. “If I become strong and able to, I will hurt others. I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

I stared at him, both surprised and at ease, as he failed miserably at holding back his scared and humiliated tears. Irma had pressed a horrible image in his head and it saddened me that he believed he will turn out like his mother, an insane murderer, if he learnt the art of war. Every inch of me wanted to hug him and soothe away his fears but my recent decision kept me back. I had to keep my distance from him. I was beginning to see him as my own child and I was not allowed to do that. As he continued to cry in front of me, trying his hardest to stop, I squirmed, completely torn between my feelings and my own safety. The wall between my brain and my emotions crumbled when Eugene finally turned his large sombre eyes onto me and instantly I slipped off the bed and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“You shouldn’t be scared of that, Eugene. Your mother was wrong, she should never had abused her power like that. But you are nothing like her. You’ll not harm those you’ll hold dear, only those you try to hurt you.” I said softly.

“But how do you know? I might just end up like her.” He snivelled.

“You don’t want to end up like her, that’s how I know.” I replied firmly and pulled him away to hold him at arms length. “Listen to me, Eugene. If you don’t want to become like Irma, you won’t, but learning how to fight is still necessary. You’ll be killed quickly otherwise.”

“But-” He began but stopped when I placed a hand on his head.

“Eugene, do you want to be reliant on others?”

He shook his head as I expected.

“Then you need to fight to keep yourself safe.” I said and, ignoring the imploring expression on his face, I continued. “I can fight Eugene. I am very good at it. So is Alexis and so was Diana. Were we bad people?”

Eugene looked taken aback and instantly shook his head vigorously. “You take care of me and those you like.”

I smiled and nodded. “And that’s exactly what you will do once you have learned. You will be able to fight your corner when you’re in danger and protect your family. Learning to fight isn’t a bad thing.”

The stubborn look in his eyes told me I was now winning this argument. He knew I could fight and was well versed in battle. No doubt he was going through the list of names who could also fight and wasn’t going around killing their own.

“You won’t turn out like Irma. You’re too kind, Eugene.” I said with a soft smile on my mouth.

For a moment Eugene just stared at me, going over what I had said and the fear that had been in his head for so long. Eventually he shifted his weight nervously and stared at his feet.

“I guess I could learn.” He mumbled.

My smile turned into a grin and I planted a kiss on his forehead, making him blush a little. “The basics, just enough to keep you alive.” I promised.

He nodded once and gave a hesitant smile. “Okay.” He agreed then looked up at Alexis. “Can I go play with Elgar now?” He asked, no doubt eager to get away and prepare himself.

“You can.” Alexis said, rubbing Eugene’s hair.

With a bright red cheeked grin, Eugene patted my hand in comfort before he waddled away. I stood and smiled to myself, feeling far better than I did before. Eugene had told me why he was so reluctant to learn of battle and now I can help him overcome it. No doubt he will be a little nervous and stubborn at first but he’ll adjust and adapt. He’ll soon realise that he won’t turn out like Irma.

“You seem calmer now.” Alexis commented, grinning happily at me.

I glanced up and, seeing that kind stupid expression on his face, remembered what I had to do. I had to distance myself from him.

“Well yes, now that I know why Eugene is being so stubborn.” I said, clearing my throat and taking a step back. Frantically I thought of reason to leave him and ducked down to pull out my gun and sword that were currently wrapped in cloth. “I need to sort out my weapons, so if you’ll excuse me.”

Without a word, I swept out of the bedroom to begin work in the tiny lounge area downstairs, trying my best to ignore the tingly sensation of Alexis’ gaze fixated on my back. This was for my own good, I told myself. You’ll only regret it if your relationship turns into something meaningful. The man won’t even live as long as you. I bit my lip as that thought stirred old questions. But how long will I live? Will I live for eternity? Am I truly immortal or just gifted with youth and will live no longer than a century? If that was true, I probably had no longer than thirty years left. All these questions popped up as I made my way downstairs, questions I had thought of long ago but found no answer to. I decided it was best to ignore them and focus on maintaining my weapons, my oldest friends. But maybe it was good that I didn’t know when I died. Never waking up one day felt like a gift compared to the lurking ache in my chest at the idea of shutting off Eugene and Alexis from my life. A feeling I knew I would never be able to shake for as long as I existed.