Tell Me I'm A Bad Man
Brothers and The Black Parade
“G-G-Gerard,” I said slowly and nervously, stumbling over my words. “You don’t mean…”
“I don’t mean what?” Gerard asked innocently.
I not-so-gracefully sat down on the couch. “Gerard,” I pleaded, my voice sounding hopeless. “Are- Are you the… The Conductor?”
Gerard sat down next to me and turned my head so I had to look at him. Slowly, he nodded. “Yes, Mikey. Yes, I am The Conductor. I am the boss of The Black Parade. But right now, because of the look you’re giving me, I’m not proud of it.”
I turned away from him as soon as he said it. I buried my face in my hands just so I wouldn’t have to look at him. I just couldn’t believe that MY brother was the leader of a CULT! My parents would have a heart attack or something if they found out about this.
“I’m sorry, Mikey,” Gerard said as he ran his hand through his short blond hair. “I should have told you this a long time ago.”
“Gerard,” I whined, trying to hold back tears of anger and frustration. “It doesn’t matter when you told me, what matters is that you’re not Gerard anymore. You’re not the same guy you were when you ran away four years ago. You’re the guy who left and formed a cult. You aren’t my brother anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Gerard asked confusion evident in his expression.
I screamed, not knowing what else to do. He just looked at me, as if he was wondering why I was so mad. “I don’t know you, Gerard,” I choked out through my tears as I stood up. “You have all these secrets and this whole life away from me. I don’t know you, and I won’t like you. I hate you, Gerard Way.”
“Mikey,” Gerard said as he still tried to fight back tears. “I’m sorry. I was not trying to hurt you, and I wish I hadn’t. Please don’t hate me.”
I turned away from my so-called brother. I angrily wiped my tears away, knocking my glasses to the floor as I did so, but I just left them there. What was there to see, anyway? I ran away to my bedroom, crashing into a wall on the way because I couldn’t see.
I heard my bedroom door slam and lock, but I don’t clearly remember locking it. I fell onto my bed and cried for a few minutes. Finally I stopped.
“Mikey?” I heard faintly from outside the door as I heard him slid down the wall so he was sitting and leaning against it. “Mikey, I’m so sorry. Please come out so I can beg your forgiveness.” His voice broke as he spoke, but I still couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. Either way, I didn’t care.
“Get out,” I said as calmly as I could, which was actually calmer than I would have thought. “Go find somewhere else to stay.”
“You have my suitcase,” he pointed out quietly.
“You’ll get it back eventually,” I said. It felt good to have something of his that he wanted. I mean, he took my car and I wanted that. Not to mention he also took my brother and best friend.
“Oh,” he said sadly. “I guess I’ll be going, then.”
“Guess you will,” I said harshly.
“Your glasses are on the table, and so is the pizza you ordered. Well, goodbye, Michael.”
I heard him close the door as he left my apartment. I turned to Gerard’s suitcase that was on the floor next to my bed. I picked it up and opened it. I had to go get my glasses because I couldn’t see the stuff in the suitcase.
I staggered out to the kitchen and put on my glasses. They were right on the table, next to a pizza box, exactly where he’d said they’d be. I looked around for a note or something. I found the hat he’d given me, but no note. I just figured that Gerard would leave some kind of dramatic note or something, because that was just like him. He was the kind of person who always needed to have dramatic entrances and even more dramatic exits. A drama queen or I guess drama king. But there was nothing.
I got myself a slice of pizza, and took it back to my room. I went back over to the open suitcase and started rifling through my brother’s belongings.
I was definitely surprised at what I saw.
“I don’t mean what?” Gerard asked innocently.
I not-so-gracefully sat down on the couch. “Gerard,” I pleaded, my voice sounding hopeless. “Are- Are you the… The Conductor?”
Gerard sat down next to me and turned my head so I had to look at him. Slowly, he nodded. “Yes, Mikey. Yes, I am The Conductor. I am the boss of The Black Parade. But right now, because of the look you’re giving me, I’m not proud of it.”
I turned away from him as soon as he said it. I buried my face in my hands just so I wouldn’t have to look at him. I just couldn’t believe that MY brother was the leader of a CULT! My parents would have a heart attack or something if they found out about this.
“I’m sorry, Mikey,” Gerard said as he ran his hand through his short blond hair. “I should have told you this a long time ago.”
“Gerard,” I whined, trying to hold back tears of anger and frustration. “It doesn’t matter when you told me, what matters is that you’re not Gerard anymore. You’re not the same guy you were when you ran away four years ago. You’re the guy who left and formed a cult. You aren’t my brother anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Gerard asked confusion evident in his expression.
I screamed, not knowing what else to do. He just looked at me, as if he was wondering why I was so mad. “I don’t know you, Gerard,” I choked out through my tears as I stood up. “You have all these secrets and this whole life away from me. I don’t know you, and I won’t like you. I hate you, Gerard Way.”
“Mikey,” Gerard said as he still tried to fight back tears. “I’m sorry. I was not trying to hurt you, and I wish I hadn’t. Please don’t hate me.”
I turned away from my so-called brother. I angrily wiped my tears away, knocking my glasses to the floor as I did so, but I just left them there. What was there to see, anyway? I ran away to my bedroom, crashing into a wall on the way because I couldn’t see.
I heard my bedroom door slam and lock, but I don’t clearly remember locking it. I fell onto my bed and cried for a few minutes. Finally I stopped.
“Mikey?” I heard faintly from outside the door as I heard him slid down the wall so he was sitting and leaning against it. “Mikey, I’m so sorry. Please come out so I can beg your forgiveness.” His voice broke as he spoke, but I still couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. Either way, I didn’t care.
“Get out,” I said as calmly as I could, which was actually calmer than I would have thought. “Go find somewhere else to stay.”
“You have my suitcase,” he pointed out quietly.
“You’ll get it back eventually,” I said. It felt good to have something of his that he wanted. I mean, he took my car and I wanted that. Not to mention he also took my brother and best friend.
“Oh,” he said sadly. “I guess I’ll be going, then.”
“Guess you will,” I said harshly.
“Your glasses are on the table, and so is the pizza you ordered. Well, goodbye, Michael.”
I heard him close the door as he left my apartment. I turned to Gerard’s suitcase that was on the floor next to my bed. I picked it up and opened it. I had to go get my glasses because I couldn’t see the stuff in the suitcase.
I staggered out to the kitchen and put on my glasses. They were right on the table, next to a pizza box, exactly where he’d said they’d be. I looked around for a note or something. I found the hat he’d given me, but no note. I just figured that Gerard would leave some kind of dramatic note or something, because that was just like him. He was the kind of person who always needed to have dramatic entrances and even more dramatic exits. A drama queen or I guess drama king. But there was nothing.
I got myself a slice of pizza, and took it back to my room. I went back over to the open suitcase and started rifling through my brother’s belongings.
I was definitely surprised at what I saw.