Sequel: Warning ›
Status: completed
Precaution
Over My Head
I felt the cool, wet concrete press up against my back as I laid on my apartment balcony with my hand wrapped around a bottle of tequila and Lucy laying next to me.
“Stupid boys.” Lucy slurred and I took another drink from the bottle, nodding my head in agreement. “They’re so…stupid.” I said, my words shaky from the alcohol. “They sleep with you, they tell you they love you—“ I could feel my sentence drag off as my mind began to churn. Getting drunk was probably not the best idea, but I needed it. I needed to feel something other than completely empty and Tequila seemed to be doing a pretty good job of that.
Lucy rolled over on the concrete and looked at me, her face ignited the city lights that burned around us. “You slept with him?” She asked before rolling back, her head clearly not ready for such an abrupt motion.
I just took another drink of Tequila. “I’m a stupid, stupid girl.” I mumbled, putting my hand over my eyes. I always considered myself intelligent, at least where school was concerned. I graduated high school earlier than everyone else even though I was already a year younger than the rest of my classmates, and I graduated with my bachelors early too. I was a double doctor. I had a ph.D and a MD from Stanford. I was an incredibly capable surgeon. But around him, none of that mattered. All the accomplishments that I thought made me smart girl turned to ash when he was around. As far as Sidney was concerned, I was a very stupid girl.
The night was slipping by and I had to be at work by four. I groped around for my phone in the dark looking to check the time. It was only 2:30 but I felt the need to go to the hospital, to get myself together and get ready for work. There were no more distractions, nothing to get in my way of becoming the surgeon I wanted to be. With Sidney gone and out of my life, I had no more weaknesses.
I pushed myself up and Lucy groaned. “Where are you going? It’s ...late time. Time late..too late?” She struggled with her slurred words and I stood up, extending a hand to her. “I think I’m going to bed.” She said, grabbing my hand and pulling herself up. I nodded, my head foggy. “I’m going to get sober” I said, walking inside the apartment to change out of my wet clothes.
I walked to the hospital, too drunk to care that it was 2:40 in the morning and I was alone. I needed fluids and to get hooked up to a banana bag, an IV drip that seemed to have a great ability to sober people up. But instead of heading down to the main floor, I sat in the lounge room, my back against the wall as I watched Mark flip quickly through charts and textbooks. He decided to meet my stare after a few minutes, looking back at me intently before his face changed to a quick smirk.
“What are you, drunk?” he asked and I shook my head no.
“Just..tipsy.” I slurred a little as he closed his textbook, the noise causing me to groan and lean back against the wall. “You need to get fluids. Your shift starts in like..two hours.” He replied back. “What happened anyways?” Mark asked, sitting back in his chair to watch me.
“My boyfriend—my ex boyfriend—is engaged. And after I found out, I told him I loved him.” I said in my drunken speech, the hospital lights blurring together. “Because that’s the best time to say something like that.” I finished, rubbing my forehead. Mark got up and grabbed my hand, dragging me off of the bench. “Let’s go.” He said and I limply followed behind, past the main floor and onto an examination bed across from the main doors, so I could see the potential surgeries walk in. He set up a banana bag for me on a moveable IV post and I heard the automatic doors pull open, a familiar face entering the hospital. It was Pascal and his wife, who was heavily pregnant. And trailing behind him were Kris and my two favorite people, Chloe and Sidney. Sidney had his car keys in hand and Chloe was on her phone while Kris was patting Pascal on the back. I saw Sidney look around, and I motioned towards Mark, unable to formulate a sentence together. It was too late, he saw me.
“Violet” Sidney shouted, and I tried my best to lean closer to Mark to hide. Chloe, Pascal and Kris both looked over my way as I sat on the examination table with a yellow IV drip in my arm.
“What happened?” Sidney asked, his dark eyes focused on me intently.
“You.” I said and jumped off of the table, making my way out of the room and towards the elevator. He grabbed my arm and looked at me again, trying to find the right thing to say as he stared me in the eyes, his expression soft and worried. He looked like he was going to kiss me, like he was going to touch me or like he cared.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I said and jerked my arm away. I didn’t want Chloe to see, I didn’t want Mark to see, I didn’t want Kris to see—I just wanted to be back on my balcony with a bottle of tequila. Sidney looked like he was going to say something, but shifted uncomfortably and looked at Mark. “Do you think he cares?” I asked, pointing over at Mark. “Mark, do you care that I was the girl stupid enough to sleep with the engaged hockey player?” I asked angrily, my tone a mix of drunken amusement and bitterness. Mark shook his head and continued to flip through the chart carefully.
“Violet, stop.” He said and I turned around to face him, glancing quickly at Mark who pretended to be reading charts. “I’m sorry, I meant to tell you. Chloe and I were..I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting this, I wasn’t expecting you to just come in my life and take control like you did. I didn’t know what to do because I love you but—“ Sidney began, not breaking his stare with me. “Violet, she’s my family. She’s all I’ve known for years and I can’t just not love her all of a sudden. I just know that I care about you too and I don’t want to lose you.” He said, his eyes focused on me steadily.
I took a moment to look at him, the two of us just locked in a stare.
“I’m drunk.” I said and pushed past him, taking myself and my IV tower to the elevator. The doors swung open and I gingerly stepped inside while I saw Kris running over to me.
“Violet, are you okay?” He asked, knitting together his brows in concern.
“No.” I replied and the elevator doors shut closed.
“Stupid boys.” Lucy slurred and I took another drink from the bottle, nodding my head in agreement. “They’re so…stupid.” I said, my words shaky from the alcohol. “They sleep with you, they tell you they love you—“ I could feel my sentence drag off as my mind began to churn. Getting drunk was probably not the best idea, but I needed it. I needed to feel something other than completely empty and Tequila seemed to be doing a pretty good job of that.
Lucy rolled over on the concrete and looked at me, her face ignited the city lights that burned around us. “You slept with him?” She asked before rolling back, her head clearly not ready for such an abrupt motion.
I just took another drink of Tequila. “I’m a stupid, stupid girl.” I mumbled, putting my hand over my eyes. I always considered myself intelligent, at least where school was concerned. I graduated high school earlier than everyone else even though I was already a year younger than the rest of my classmates, and I graduated with my bachelors early too. I was a double doctor. I had a ph.D and a MD from Stanford. I was an incredibly capable surgeon. But around him, none of that mattered. All the accomplishments that I thought made me smart girl turned to ash when he was around. As far as Sidney was concerned, I was a very stupid girl.
The night was slipping by and I had to be at work by four. I groped around for my phone in the dark looking to check the time. It was only 2:30 but I felt the need to go to the hospital, to get myself together and get ready for work. There were no more distractions, nothing to get in my way of becoming the surgeon I wanted to be. With Sidney gone and out of my life, I had no more weaknesses.
I pushed myself up and Lucy groaned. “Where are you going? It’s ...late time. Time late..too late?” She struggled with her slurred words and I stood up, extending a hand to her. “I think I’m going to bed.” She said, grabbing my hand and pulling herself up. I nodded, my head foggy. “I’m going to get sober” I said, walking inside the apartment to change out of my wet clothes.
I walked to the hospital, too drunk to care that it was 2:40 in the morning and I was alone. I needed fluids and to get hooked up to a banana bag, an IV drip that seemed to have a great ability to sober people up. But instead of heading down to the main floor, I sat in the lounge room, my back against the wall as I watched Mark flip quickly through charts and textbooks. He decided to meet my stare after a few minutes, looking back at me intently before his face changed to a quick smirk.
“What are you, drunk?” he asked and I shook my head no.
“Just..tipsy.” I slurred a little as he closed his textbook, the noise causing me to groan and lean back against the wall. “You need to get fluids. Your shift starts in like..two hours.” He replied back. “What happened anyways?” Mark asked, sitting back in his chair to watch me.
“My boyfriend—my ex boyfriend—is engaged. And after I found out, I told him I loved him.” I said in my drunken speech, the hospital lights blurring together. “Because that’s the best time to say something like that.” I finished, rubbing my forehead. Mark got up and grabbed my hand, dragging me off of the bench. “Let’s go.” He said and I limply followed behind, past the main floor and onto an examination bed across from the main doors, so I could see the potential surgeries walk in. He set up a banana bag for me on a moveable IV post and I heard the automatic doors pull open, a familiar face entering the hospital. It was Pascal and his wife, who was heavily pregnant. And trailing behind him were Kris and my two favorite people, Chloe and Sidney. Sidney had his car keys in hand and Chloe was on her phone while Kris was patting Pascal on the back. I saw Sidney look around, and I motioned towards Mark, unable to formulate a sentence together. It was too late, he saw me.
“Violet” Sidney shouted, and I tried my best to lean closer to Mark to hide. Chloe, Pascal and Kris both looked over my way as I sat on the examination table with a yellow IV drip in my arm.
“What happened?” Sidney asked, his dark eyes focused on me intently.
“You.” I said and jumped off of the table, making my way out of the room and towards the elevator. He grabbed my arm and looked at me again, trying to find the right thing to say as he stared me in the eyes, his expression soft and worried. He looked like he was going to kiss me, like he was going to touch me or like he cared.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I said and jerked my arm away. I didn’t want Chloe to see, I didn’t want Mark to see, I didn’t want Kris to see—I just wanted to be back on my balcony with a bottle of tequila. Sidney looked like he was going to say something, but shifted uncomfortably and looked at Mark. “Do you think he cares?” I asked, pointing over at Mark. “Mark, do you care that I was the girl stupid enough to sleep with the engaged hockey player?” I asked angrily, my tone a mix of drunken amusement and bitterness. Mark shook his head and continued to flip through the chart carefully.
“Violet, stop.” He said and I turned around to face him, glancing quickly at Mark who pretended to be reading charts. “I’m sorry, I meant to tell you. Chloe and I were..I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting this, I wasn’t expecting you to just come in my life and take control like you did. I didn’t know what to do because I love you but—“ Sidney began, not breaking his stare with me. “Violet, she’s my family. She’s all I’ve known for years and I can’t just not love her all of a sudden. I just know that I care about you too and I don’t want to lose you.” He said, his eyes focused on me steadily.
I took a moment to look at him, the two of us just locked in a stare.
“I’m drunk.” I said and pushed past him, taking myself and my IV tower to the elevator. The doors swung open and I gingerly stepped inside while I saw Kris running over to me.
“Violet, are you okay?” He asked, knitting together his brows in concern.
“No.” I replied and the elevator doors shut closed.
♠ ♠ ♠
Over My Head -- The Fray