Precaution

I felt somebody grab my arm and I turned around to see Sidney, staring at me with the same intensity as before. I looked over his shoulder to see Kris watching us, but the rest of the group was enjoying their time.

“What the fuck are you doing, Violet?” he asked, his tone hard and his jaw clenched. It was completely different from the quiet, calm Sid that I had fallen for. I felt my breathing get heavier as I struggled to answer him back. At this point, I don’t know if it was him or the tequila—but I was having trouble speaking, having trouble breathing.

“You’re going around with different guys from a fucking club, running around with your ex-boyfriends, toying around with me—and now that Derek woke up, what are you going to do? Run back to him again? You know, Lucy told me he likes to sleep around. Maybe you two are meant for each other, since you have that trait in common.” He said coldly, his voice bearing a steel edge.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a whore, Sidney.” I said, my voice shaking.

He laughed but it was sudden and abrupt. “Well maybe you should stop acting like one.” He replied.

“Excuse me?” I said, moving in closer to him. I was fighting back tears but not very effectively. “You can’t call me a slut, you can’t call me a whore. Because I was in love with you and you? You were engaged all along. If anybody toyed with someone, it was you Sidney. You made me believe like you were the person I could spend my entire life with. You made me believe that. This? This is me trying to repair what you broke. So no.” I said, my voice resonating with anger and hurt “You can’t call me a whore.”

He stared at me, his jaw clenching harder as he shook his head. “There is nothing between us anymore.” He said calmly, his tone still hard. I just looked back, my eyes glassy with moisture. I saw Chloe look up at us and Kris looked like he was on the verge of approaching before things got out of hand.

“There never was.” I said, pushed past him and out the door, leaving Stephen and Katarina at the bar.

----

I hovered over the toilet, Lucy sitting there holding my hair back as I leaned against the porcelain.

“I feel empty.” I groaned, resting my head against the arm that crossed the seat. Lucy nodded.

“A bottle of tequila will do that to you.” She replied and I moaned, leaning back into the bowl. Something wasn’t right and I could feel my body ache in a way that it hadn’t ever. It felt beyond a hangover, but it was probably just that—me making up physiological excuses for something that was one hundred percent emotional.

I sighed and moved away from the toilet, sitting with my back against the bathroom wall. Lucy hopped off of the side of the bathtub and joined me, sinking down on the tile along side me. “So your ex-boyfriend is engaged, your ex-fiancé woke up from his coma, your ex-boyfriend calls you a whore and now you have to go to work.” Lucy said, surmising all the low points of my life in one breath.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” I said, staring out into space. I didn’t want to go in, but I had to. Surgery was the only thing I had left here, besides Lucy. It was the only thing keeping me static, it was the only thing keeping me sane. Lucy patted me on the knee and I got up, feeling my stomach churn as I got to my feet.

“Knock ‘em dead.” She said, walking out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

“Funny!” I called after her, shaking my head before filing out of the bathroom myself. I grabbed a pair of jeans and v-neck sweater, looking around my room for a pair of black canvas tennis shoes.

-----

“Lauder, you’ll be assisting doctor Glenn today, Swenn you’re with Savard and Anderson, you have my post-ops since I’m handling the chief’s cases today. “ Novikova said, shoving charts in our hands. She looked at Lexie, who stood there waiting for an assignment. “Scott, you’re also with Anderson.”

“Where’s the chief?” asked Lexie as I handed her off a few charts. Novikova gave her a blank stare, blinking once in her direction.

“What do I look like to you? People Magazine? I know you all know every little detail about each others lives and who you’re sleeping with and who you’re dating but I’m an actual surgeon. I don’t have time for your little tea parties. Now go!” She shouted and we all scrambled off to our separate locations.

I greeted my first post-op patient kindly, reading over his chart before pressing my stethoscope over his chest to listen to his heartbeat. “How are you feeling today, Mr.Kaisley?” I questioned before asking him to take a deep breath. He did as he was instructed and shrugged his shoulders. “Not too bad. My stomach hurts though, on the side.” He said, pointing to his left side. I looked back to his chart before pressing lightly around his abdomen area.

“It’s common to have soreness around the incision site after surgery. I’ll give you one round of morphine and that should help with the pain.” I said, feeling my stomach flip again. I grabbed my hair and ran to the bathroom in the room, feeling the rest of my tequila-filled night empty out into the toilet. I coughed and washed my hands quickly, walking back to the room to place a morphine drip in the IV. He smiled politely at me. “Rough night or morning sickness?” he asked and I froze. The color drained from my face and it took me a moment to regain myself. “Feel free to page my if you have any questions or more concerns.” I said, giving him a quick smile before running out of the room to find Lexie.

I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to an examination room, disregarding her objections as we bolted down the hallway. I slammed the door shut and looked at her for a moment, inhaling sharply.

“I need you to give me a pregnancy test.”