Precaution

Sid called up Jordan and Max while we walked down the stairs and out of the hospital. Everything about today was turning into some surreal, alternate universe sort of experience that left me with the feeling of mental whiplash. Derek and my mother were here, which was enough of a reason to worry, Sidney and I were friends and I was ditching Mark and not watching the surgery of a lifetime. I knew that if I had gone down to see the surgery, my mind wouldn’t have been able to push the meeting with Marianne and my mother out of my head.

I breathed in the air as soon as we stepped out, the sunshine lighting up my face as we moved along the street.

“So are they coming?” I asked as Sidney put his phone in his pocket and he shook his head.

“I wouldn’t count on it. I heard strange noises when I called. Things were breaking. Apparently, Marc adopted a puppy.” He said with a casual shrug.

“Oh my god, does he know Lucy doesn’t do the whole..animal thing?” I asked cautiously and Sidney looked at me with a confused look as we crossed the street on the way to the restaurant.

“When we were in college, we lived in one of those off campus apartments and she decided to get a pet cat from Craigslist. I don’t want to point fingers or make allegations, but I just remember her feeding it a can of tuna and then it died the next day.” I said, trying to conceal my smile. Animal abuse wasn’t funny, except for the fact that the cat—who had been affectionately named Depp—was now the punch line in several running jokes between us.

“That’s horrible.” Sidney said and I could tell he was trying his best not to grin as well. I hit him lightly as we turned the street corner.

“It really is. That’s why I’m pretty concerned about her and Marc’s dog. You just never know.” I said with a small laugh, wandering into the diner as Sid pulled the door open for me.

I slid into the booth and he followed, sitting across from me next to a large sunny window. The waitress came around and we both immediately ordered drinks and food, knowing what we wanted from the top of our heads. In a few minutes, a cheeseburger and a glass of diet coke were placed in front of my face and I picked up a fry happily. Sidney did the same and took a bite of his chicken sandwich, looking like he was trying his best not to laugh.

“What’s with the face, Crosby?” I asked, sipping my soda and he shook his head.

“I never thought I’d be sitting here with you on a completely platonic note, with the both of us about to get married. “ He said with a crooked grin and I smiled back. It still hurt, realizing that I couldn’t have him and watching what we had in the past grow smaller and smaller. And I thought about it every night, especially now with Derek’s distance and sudden coldness.

I shrugged casually and chewed thoughtfully before answering. “Oh, I thought you were going to comment on my eating habits like Kris.” I replied and Sidney laughed.

“No way. I know you too much to be surprised that you’re eating a cheeseburger and fries before your wedding. Aren’t all the other brides eating salads?” he teased.

“I don’t really keep tabs on all the other brides. Speaking of which, how’s Chloe?” I asked and Sid’s expression sunk. It was a small change, but I had been able to pick up on it. I suppose Kris wasn’t the only intuitive one in the group.

“I don’t really know.” His gaze lingered on me for a moment, watching me with a certain intensity that made my heart thunder in my chest. “I need to tell you something as a friend, and I need you to not react. No faces, nothing.” He said finally and I exhaled sharply. I wanted this friendship to be real, for us to have a real chance at going back to what we were before any relationship bloomed. I needed to be able to tell him my secrets, to seek his advice and solace without fear of judgment and I could tell he wanted the same from me. I nodded and took another sip of my diet coke.

“Perfect. I need to tell you something too. Well, I need your opinion. You go first.” I said and he looked at me, trying to find the right words to say before he confided in me.

“I think Chloe wants a family. I think she wants one now, and I can tell she’s anxious about it but—“ he paused and my face dropped. I didn’t want to break the trust with Chloe and tell Sidney her plans, but I didn’t want to see him in a situation that he couldn’t alter. “—but I think I’m not ready and I don’t think I want this. Not now anyways. Not after what happened with the two of us.” He said and I nodded, trying my best to keep my face expressionless. He shook his head and I took another drink, leaning back against the vinyl seats of the booth. “I just needed to get that out, sorry. I feel like if I had kept it in and didn’t tell anyone, I would have convinced myself otherwise. Your turn.” He said and threw a smile at me.

I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this. I needed to ask him about Derek, I needed to find out what was happening without being paranoid. I closed my eyes for a second and exhaled heavily, struggling over whether or not I should actually say something.

“I don’t want any faces either. I just need you to tell me honestly, as my friend, what’s happening because I spend eighty hours a week in the hospital and when I’m not at the hospital, I’m trying on wedding dresses or I’m being lectured by his mother or trying to escape it all and be with you guys and Lucy—“ I felt my voice reach a level of desperation and I tried to contain myself. “—So I get that I’m not around, and I get that I miss things. But remember after I came home from Marc’s house the other night, Derek walked in a few seconds later and I don’t know. There was something different about him that I couldn’t place and he’s been like that ever since. “ I said and Sidney looked at me, his expression soft and his face was tilted in concern. “He doesn’t look at me, doesn’t touch me, and whenever he has to speak to me it’s just strained.” I shrug and shake my head. “It’s stupid, I know but—I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong.” I said and Sidney was about to say something, but before he could, I heard a familiar voice in the background.

“Jesus Christ, are you two stalking us?” I heard Lucy’s voice ask and I whipped around, smiling at her. Sidney was still watching me with a worried look, his eyes intense and gentle.

“We were here first, actually. So that makes you two the stalkers in this situation.” I said as Marc-Andre and Lucy slid next to us in the booth. I ignored Sidney’s expression and Lucy gave me an odd look, turning her eyes from Sidney to me.

“What’s wrong with Sidney? He looks like you just told him you ran over his dog.” She joked and I laughed quietly, trying to hide the worry that I had all over my face.

“I’m fine, but apparently, Violet isn’t the one with the history of killing animals.” He joked and Lucy turned to me sharply.

“What’s he talking about?” she asked me with a raised eyebrow as Marc watched the conversation intently.

“Oh, she told me about Depp and how you poisoned him with tuna.” He replied nonchalantly and Marc’s face burst into a huge smile, watching as Lucy turned back to me. She looked shocked.

“What?! That was you!” She retorted and I feigned innocence.

“I would never kill an animal, I’m a doctor.” I said and she shook her head. And that was how the day progressed, light and airy as if though I had never expressed any concern to Sidney whatsoever. But even in the midst of our joking, I felt his eyes turn to me every now and then and I could tell that this issue was far from being over.