Precaution

And so it happened again.

No, not for the second time. For the third time. You’d think once would be enough or hey, even twice. But no. I hadn’t left Sidney’s house since I got there this morning and it was four in the afternoon now.

This was excessive, indulgent and insanely stupid. But for some reason, it felt good. To step away from logic and reason, to finally act on how I felt.

I sat against the headboard of his bed wearing his shirt, my legs pulled to my chest. He laid there next to me, breathing slowly with one arm against his stomach and the other behind his head. We both didn’t know what to say—the silence seemed to be a theme as of late.

My pager broke the silence finally, it’s cry piercing the stillness. I leaned over into my purse and fished it out, reading it’s tiny blue screen. 911.

“Do you have to go?” he asked and I nodded, throwing the device back in my bed before getting up. But I felt his hands around my waist, pulling me back to him. I couldn’t help but smile as he kissed me once more.

Why did this feel so right when I knew it was completely wrong?

I moved out slowly, putting my own clothes back on before heading out the door. He followed me, embracing me before I walked out to my car. I had only been away from him for a split second, but I already missed him.

I was getting myself in too deep.

---

The hospital was crowded, but the clinic was even worse.

The clinic opened three years ago and ever since then, it always seemed busy with runny noses and sprained wrists. Interns got the grunt of the work since most of the procedures were so light that even airheads like us could manage by ourselves. The attending and residents didn’t bother themselves with menial labor like this.

Though for all the superficial wounds and ailments that came into the clinic, to a surgical intern it was the equivalent of a junk yard: mostly filled with crap but on occasion, a real treasure could be discovered. Just the other day, Swenn was doing sutures in the clinic when she found her guy to have a large brain tumor. She scrubbed in on the surgery while the rest of us salivated in the gallery like hungry dogs.

After changing into my scrubs, I threw on my white coat and stethoscope and wandered over to the nurses station to collect clinic charts. They sat on their beds, coughing and sneezing while nurses threw up the curtains that separated the beds to decrease the risk of spreading the flu or whatever they had.

But a nervous girl on the last bed caught my eye. She fidgeted on the paper that covered the vinyl examination beds, looking around nervously. It only took me a second before I realized who it was.

I set the charts down and found hers in the pile, walking over to greet her.

“Chloe?” I asked and her eyes shot up at me in horror.

“Violet! I …thought you were a surgeon?” she asked me, confusion and surprise intermingling in her shrill voice. I just nodded.

“Uh yeah, but they send surgical interns down here just in case. “ I flipped open her chart. “Why are you here?”

Chloe grabbed her purse and hopped off of the bed, shrugging me off dismissively. Her voice was shaky and unstable when she spoke.

“Oh, just. No reason. It was stupid. I’ll see you later.” She said but I grabbed her arm. She froze and sighed, looking down.

“Chloe. You have to tell me what’s wrong so I can treat you. I thought you were supposed to be in Toronto anyways?” I said and she hesitated, fidgeting with her fingers. Clearly, there was something there. Her chart gave away nothing and so I was left there wondering, panicking.

“I can’t…tell you.” She said finally and looked at her, knitting my brows together in confusion. I touched her arm gently, trying to reassure her. She looked so scared and vulnerable—I never felt worse.

“Yes, you can. I know we’re friends—“ I almost hesitated. Friends don’t sleep with their friends fiancés. “—but I’m your doctor too. There’s doctor patient confidentiality. Whatever you tell me, I legally have to keep to myself. It’s okay.” As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted them. Why didn’t I let another intern do this?

But I saw her relax some and sit back on the examination bed, swallowing nervously.

“I need—“ she was reluctant, unsure. I stood there in silence. “—I need a pregnancy test.” She finally said and I froze. My heart raced, my pulse was wild. I inhaled but it was painful, an obstacle I needed to cross in order to compose myself.

I smiled back at her, patting her shoulder. “Oh so you and Sidney finally made it happen?” I tried to ask casually, but I felt like my voice sounded too forced. Chloe just exhaled shakily, looking down.

“Not exactly.” She said and a wave of realization poured over me. I didn’t know whether I should be relieved or worried. I settled on relief, figuring the panic would come later when I was around Sidney.

Chloe just shook her head, looking back up at me teary eyed. “It just…Violet—“ she began, her eyes wet and her words painful.

“We haven’t been sleeping together since I came back from my winter trip to Canada. I was gone for a few months and I come back and he barely touches me when we’re alone.” She said, a look of horror filling my face. Her crying got heavier and her head sank in her hands.

“We’ve slept together once in what must have been half a year. It’s August, Violet. I got back from Toronto in January.” She said and I shifted nervously. Chloe just shrugged, adding in a dry laugh. “And even then, it was just…I didn’t feel right. So I slept with someone else. “ she said, looking back up and grabbing my hands.

“Please, Violet. You can’t tell him. It was one time but…I took a pregnancy test from the drugstore and it was positive. I’m on birth control but I forgot to take it for two days. I left it back in Pittsburgh when I left to Toronto. I cut my trip short and I have to go back.” She pleaded with me, explaining her situation. I just nodded and went to get a blood test kit.

I pulled up her sleeve and rubbed some alcohol over the vein before placing the needle through her skin to draw the blood. After I was done, I put the test on the small metal table next to the bed and scribbled something in her chart.

“This should test for pregnancy and I’m also going to test your blood for any sexually transmitted diseases, okay?” I said and she nodded. I placed the sample in a bag, writing ROBERTSON, CHLOE on the plastic.

“Okay Chloe, I’m going to put a rush on this. It should take about an hour. Why don’t you go get some coffee?” I suggested and she nodded, getting up. “I’ll come find you.” I said before moving to drop the blood sample off.