Precaution

It felt like I was floating, or even dreaming. Some surreal experience that felt too good to be true, like all the pieces had finally connected in my life and everything was going to be okay.

Things were so perfect that sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night to just think, to go over my feelings and test myself with visions of Sidney leaving or Lucy hating me or one of the guys getting hurt. I wanted to picture something going wrong to feel out how deep into this I really was because I knew this perfection wouldn’t last. I wanted to see if I could handle having everything crash around me.

I didn’t tell anybody about my expectant heartbreak because it was stupid. Maybe it was the cynical surgeon side in me. I saw death every day—preventing it was my job—I see people walk in every day and lose everything. It was so simple, so easy. How could I have everything, how could this possibly last?

My eyes looked at the alarm clock next to my bed, the apartment feeling a little empty. I knew Lucy was just next-door to my room but she needed to sleep. It was her rehearsal dinner tonight and she was already nervous. She hated public speaking and giving a speech to her family and friends made her shaky and unstable.

I sat up, seeing the early morning rays of sun pour through my window. It was six thirty and I wasn’t going back to sleep. I had taken off from work today and tomorrow so that I could be there with Lucy throughout. It felt strange not being at rounds, an oddity that I was wearing Sidney’s shirt and not scrubs.

Suddenly, my door burst open and Lucy bounded through, excited as ever as she leaped on my bed. “GET UP, GET UP. WE HAVE TO GO.” She said, bouncing on the mattress as I threw off the covers reluctantly.

“Go where?” I asked, a little confused. I had figured she’d take the time off from work to sleep in and be her usual lazy self, but she was up and ready to take on the world. Lucy pushed her blond hair back away from her face and rolled her eyes.

“We’re meeting Marc’s family for breakfast at eight and my moms coming and I even got Sidney to come so you need to hurry up and get dressed because I love you, Vi, but this isn’t really your best look. “ she gestured to my t-shirt and I pushed her off my bed.

“Go shower!” She yelled from the floor. “People in Toronto can smell you all the way from here.”

---
I was out the door in thirty minutes flat. I got out of the shower, threw on a sweater dress and some pumps, shook out my hair, added some concealer and mascara and met Lucy outside of the apartment.

She looked great and I wasn’t sure how Marc’s family wouldn’t automatically love her. She wore a cream colored pencil skirt, burgundy blouse and matching pumps—it was so unlike her, but to meet the family it was a perfect outfit. We both threw on our coats and I smiled a little. The brown coffee stain that donned the front of my white coat wasn’t visible anymore, but I imagined it anyways. It was hard to believe a cup of coffee started this.

When we got to the restaurant, Marc and his parents and sister were already there, along with Sidney and Lucy’s parents and siblings. I gave Sidney a quick kiss before going around with Lucy to say hello to everybody. Marc’s parents were just like him—it was hilarious. Only Lucy, Marc and his family spoke French but his little sister helped translate to the table along with Lucy. It all ended up working out.

I looked across at Sidney and the both of us just smiled, unsure of what to do in this situation. He was Marc-Andre’s best man and I was Lucy’s maid of honor but we both felt a little out of place. I glanced over at Lucy and Marc, the two of them meeting my stare. Marc, being the typical guy that we was, didn’t get anything out of it but Lucy just stood up.

“Violet and Sidney have to get going, they have speeches to write for tonight.” Lucy said with a big grin and I gave her a look, telepathically trying to say “thank you.”

Sidney and I stood up and hugged everybody goodbye and said our farewells before we darted out of the restaurant and into the cool Pittsburgh air. I took his arm and we pulled in close as we went and walked the streets downtown, looking around patiently as we just enjoyed this. It was that perfection I was talking about earlier, the strange feeling when absolutely everything is going your way. A little kid ran up to Sidney, recognizing him from a distance. He looked a little shy as he approached while his dad stayed off the side, calling his son back.

“Hey Sid.” He said quietly and Sid smiled back at him kindly. “I’m Charlie.” The little kid introduced himself politely, looking at his dad.

“If my dad has a marker, could you sign my shirt?” he asked, turning around and pointing at the white 87 on his t-shirt. Sidney laughed and I dug through my purse, producing a black sharpie and handing it to Charlie.

“Do you play hockey?” Sidney asked as I watched on, a little amused and a little taken by his kindness. It made me feel like a bad person, because I don’t really think I was ever this nice.

Charlie nodded. “Yup! I’m a goaltender though, like Fleury.” He said, pronouncing Marc’s name as a more exaggerated “flooory”.

“You’re probably already better than him.” Sidney said with a laugh and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks so much, Sidney! You’re my favorite player!”

“Thanks, Charlie. Good luck with your season.” Sid said as the dad and son moved on and I shook my head in disbelief.

“Are you always this nice to everyone? Because I feel kind of evil in comparison.” I asked with a grin and he smiled back.

“You’re a doctor, I’m the one that’s evil in comparison.” He joked and we walked down the street, stepping over fallen red leaves and talking while the autumn wind whipped around us.

“I feel like this is all going to fall apart.” I said suddenly as we turned to walk by the river, wandering along the same bridge that had thrown my rings out months before. He turned to me and frowned, unsure of what I meant. I sighed and put both hands on the rusty rail, watching the dark water churn below in currents.

“This. You and me, the way everything is. It’s all so perfect and it doesn’t feel like it’ll last forever and I don’t think I can take something going wrong. “ I said, feeling a little stupid after. This was just paranoia, this was just me being around bad things too much to see the light in life.

“But it took a long time for it to get to perfect.” He replied and I looked at him, knitting my brows together. “I think that right now you should just enjoy it. And I’m not going anywhere, so you can stop worrying about that.” he said and I moved into him, as if that was the only place where everything would always be alright.

---
The rehearsal dinner was a little elaborate for Lucy and Marc’s taste, but it all felt right with everybody there. The whole team, Lucy’s family, Marc’s family, and some of Lucy’s childhood friends were all there. It was all going fabulously until I had to give my speech.

Lucy was having a nervous breakdown in the bathroom earlier so I had convinced her not to give the speech. I figured with her parents and Sidney, there would be enough speeches. But then she turned to me, all teary eyed and crazy, and asked me if I would give one instead of her.

I hated public speaking just as much as she did, but I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I could just imagine everyone in their underwear or whatever. I would take the brave option and help my best friend out.

Actually, I took the lesser mans option and just drank a lot. Sidney’s speech began after Lucy’s two brothers made a joint “I can’t believe my sister is getting married” spiel. By then, I was on my second vodka and tonic and Lucy was definitely giving me dirty looks as I asked for another. Max, who was sitting next to me, ordered one as well and gave me a smile and a shake of his head.

Lucy banged her fork up against the glass loudly, giving Marc a little push. He stood up and gestured over at Sid, who also rose.

“My best man, Sidney, is going to give a speech now. Let’s hope its good.” Marc said before sitting down, with everyone’s attention on Sid. I just sipped my drink.

“I’ve known Marc for six years now and after six years, I’m still surprised to see him ending up with someone like Lucy. I mean, we’re all surprised to see him end up with anyone but for that person to be someone as nice as Luce, well. That’s just unbelievable. I know that I can speak for everyone here that we all wish you two the best. To Marc and Lucy.” He said, raising his glass. “Now I think Violet is going to give a speech.” Sidney said, grinning in my direction. I just leaned over to Max.

“Hey, wanna give this speech instead about you and Flower’s little bromance coming to an end? I’ll pay for breakfast for a month.” I said quietly, Lucy looking on suspiciously. Max shook his head with a laugh.

“Uh no way, drunky. I’d pay good money to see this speech. Don’t slur your words.” He said and I stole his drink, tossing it back before I stood up. I could feel everybody’s eyes on me, but I chose instead to focus on Sidney. He smiled back up at me as I stalled, unsure of what to say. I had absolutely nothing planned.

“So we moved to Pittsburgh not even a year ago so that I could get away from a bad wedding. “ I began, causing Kris and Max to exchange looks. I completely ignored their little looks.

“And then somehow we all ended up here, with my best friend getting married to literally the nicest guy on the planet and my newest best friends all around to watch. Lucy blames me for all of this, but really, the guy you should be blaming this all on Luce, is Jordan Staal.” I said with a smile, looking at Jordan. He feigned innocence, giving a little shrug and a smile.

“If he didn’t spill coffee on me and make me late for work, none of this would ever have happened. So Lucy—“ I turned back to her, looking both at her and Marc-Andre as they sat together. “—in twenty years, when your kid has crashed your Mercedes and your dogs thrown up on the carpet and you find yourself wondering why you ever moved out of that amazing highrise we shared downtown, you can point the finger at Jordan. I love you Luce and I’m so incredibly happy that you’ve found someone as unorganized, unprepared, kind and funny as you are.” I said, raising my glass. Well, Max’s glass. Everyone yelled and we drank.

Nothing had crashed and burned yet.