Rois de la Nuit

I was bored out of my mind. And when I say that, I don’t just mean it like a joke. Most people say that they’re bored, they have no idea what they’re talking about. They really need to get over themselves. At least I have good reason to think of such things. Humans don’t manage to make it to six thousand years old.

I have.

Proof made.

Now, I suppose I should specify more. When I say that I’m bored out of my mind, I mean that in every way, shape or form. It means that I have absolutely nothing to do or nothing that interests me in the least bit. And I have a variety of things that could call to my attention. When you’ve been alive as long as I have, you find things to amuse you. Though I suppose that I could have forced myself to make money. After all, just because I’m older than any civilization currently inhabiting the Earth, it doesn’t mean that I have a lot of money. That would be Angelion. Just thinking about him ticks me off. The only problem is that I’m not even in the mood to beat him. It’s rather pathetic.

Don’t get the wrong idea though. I’m not the kind who is gonna go off and kill myself just because I can’t think of anything to do. If I would be like that, then I would have already offed myself twice at some point of history. And I could have done that too. Sometimes death can be amusing, especially when you’re the kind that just keeps coming back over and over again. I did that to a monk once and they wouldn’t stop trying to sanctify me or whatever the Catholic church calls that kind of stuff these days. And trust me, I may be many things, but a saint I am not. Actually I am about as far from a saint as one can be without being a demon though I have been accused of such things before. Sometimes it’s fun to play along and see their reactions when they realize exactly what I am. The only one’s I don’t do that to are kids, I’m not a complete douche after all. I’m just mostly one.

Today, not even the prospect of messing with someone’s mind held any appeal. I had given up with flipping through channels an hour before and not even Poe and his melodramatics could soothe me. And trust me when I say that that is a big deal. Poe, while human, was a highly amusing author. Actually, he was and always had been my favorite human author. That was probably why I had tried to do so much for him while he was alive. Tried and failed thanks to a certain soul that I had gladly strangled the night after Poe’s death. Unfortunately…he just came right back to life.

Now you see the problem with this whole introduction is that you now either think that I’m crazy or some kind of hero. Of the latter, you’re the crazy one and of the former only a bit, but they’ll never catch me. Though I suppose if I was the generous sort I would give them an “A” for effort. Instead…I bite my thumb at them. I did say I was a douche didn’t I? I’ve never been the most subtle soul. Alright, let’s stop with the lies. Me plus subtle have never gotten along in the same room. And I say this with good reason because there is a quote that I am here to correct. You see everyone thinks it says that: frailty, thy name is woman. First of all, I said that original quote and that was not what I said and that bastard knew it. I said: Screw Frailty, Subtlety…yes, subtlety, thy name is Angelion. See doesn’t that sound so much more poetic.

For some reason I can never understand, Angelion never thought that way. The only thing I can figure is that he must simply be a pansy. This the only possible explanation for why he would be so upset. And yes, I called him a pansy. Even vampires can be pansies after all. Just look at that one series with the sparkling vampires. And don’t tell me that that is not disgusting. Only gay vampires sparkle. And when I say gay I don’t mean the happy or even homosexual ones. I mean that ones who are lucky they can even get a meal. And I consider them very lucky, especially any vampire who thinks it’s decent to drink from an animal for any other reason than sheer desperation. Even Angelion, pansy as he is, at least will drink human blood. He doesn’t kill though.

Idiot.