Rois de la Nuit

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a vampire. One of the last two vampires on Earth. My name is Lexxic. Don’t mock, it’s a classic. I usually go by Alexander in this day and age. It’s a good strong name and no one can really say anything about it one way or another. Now, I’m getting off track. Back to myself and Angelion. We are the last two of our kind. And when we say that, we must, unfortunately, say that with absolute confidence. After all, we have searched for ages. We have fought through battlefields and scoured libraries and record halls for every location on the world. It is not without great faith that we must say what we say.

Of course most of you cannot possibly understand. It is like saying that the last two humans on Earth are men. Your species would die. It is the same with our own. Despite what you humans seem to think, vampires are born and only born. We cannot bite your necks and make you into us. Not that we would want to. Most of you are pathetic wretches. It would be a disgrace to count you as a part of our number. Though neither Angelion nor I can deny that we wish at least one of our women might have survived. Angelion more so than myself at times. After all, Angelion was mated, I never have been.

I suppose I should return to my original train of thought. It’s far less painful. And while I am not a man who is like to complain of such things, even heartless bastards have things that bother them, such as being bored. I was half-tempted to grab the phone and demand Angelion come down from the splendor of his plush home…or whatever home he was currently inhabiting, and come visit me. I say half because as wonderful as that thought was…it required moving and I was not even inclined to move. It’s a pathetic existence that I live at times. Though, in my own defense, I had not yet stooped to drinking from drunks so that had to count for something. There would be those who might argue with such reasoning, but I would have to say that they have, again, no right to talk as they are either human or Angelion and neither opinion is allowed to count for anything.

Though I had to admit that thinking about drinking from drunks was making me thirsty. Unlike some really stupid theories about vampires, we can eat food, we don’t need to. It doesn’t make us sick. It just doesn’t do shit for us. It’s like adding seasoning to your food. It just gives us flavors and tastes but no real substance. Most of you would probably freak out over that, but honestly since it’s the only thing we’ve ever known it doesn’t bother us. It‘s a part of who and what we are. Those humans who disagree with that generally earn my ire. I hate those people unlike I hate any other. They’re idiots. Then again, I have fun playing with idiots. Without them in the world, there would be no one to cure. And don’t say douche bags because not all of us are idiots.

The phone rang.

Most people would say that is an answer to a prayer for relief from boredom. There is one large problem in that theory. For one thing, I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in any God actually. So praying, yeah not my thing. Besides, even if I did pray, I have a feeling that if there was a God, he’d only use that prayer as a chance to dump some kind of unearthly torment on my sorry carcass.

That was why I stared at the phone warily. I didn’t trust ringing phones. That was usually because only three kinds of beings ever called that number. It was either the unsavory souls who wanted my money whether they were telemarketers, collectors from loan sharks or bankers. Then there were the prank callers. Since I couldn’t hunt those ones down, they didn’t make meals otherwise I would welcome their calls. The final and most likely to make my phone sound was Angelion and since he, while being the most easy to sympathize with, was also the one I hated most in the world, he was therefore the last person that I wanted to speak to.

Especially when I was bored.

The last time I did something that stupid, let’s just say there was this little place called Salem that was never the same afterward.