One Way or Another

Nicole’s POV

I pulled away from him. From his lips.
And just as I did, the amazing feeling that ran through my body slowly disappeared.

His eyes were glued to mine.

“I’m sorry” I murmured.

I had no idea what had overtaken me, why I had kissed him like that. Maybe that alcohol hadn’t completely worn over. Or maybe just maybe, I still have some sort of feelings for him.

“It’s ok. I kind of wanted you to do that since the first day I saw you in class again”

I felt my heart skip a beat as he said that. I felt my face flush with redness, as I looked down at the floor avoiding his eyes.

“I…..I just don’t understand”

“Understand what?” he placed his hand on my shoulder friend-like as he got a bit closer, waiting for an answer.

I didn’t know what I didn’t understand. I mean….maybe it was our relationship. If you could even call it a relationship what we have, what we had more importantly.

“Us”

His eyes reflected confusion at my answer, and I knew he didn’t understand what I was talking about.

“Us. Our relationship or whatever it is. Whatever we have, and more specifically had.” I repeated a little bit more detailed this time.

I hate this feeling. The same one he was having, I’m pretty sure.
Confusion.

I had felt it ever since we met. Ever since I met him. When it was just me and Mikey everything seemed so perfect and clear. But he changed that. He changed my mind, my wants, my needs….my heart.

“Is this about me leaving you?? Cause I already told you, it wasn’t what I wanted….”

“No. It’s about us…..what am I to you? Do you feel anything for me? Or was it just for the sex. Was that what it’s still about??”

His hands slipped off my shoulders and he ran one through his messy and tangled raven black hair.

“No! Of course not! I never planned on having sex with you, it just….happened. And well, you’re…..I….I love you….I think. I mean, we never actually officially dated or anything, you know.”

I nodded agreeing with him.

“Yeah, exactly….”

“But I would love to”

I blinked as I brought my gaze up from the ground, onto his ever so bright green eyes. They had seemed hazel to me, but I had to admit they were more green then hazel now.

“So would I” I blushed again as he grabbed my hand in his.

“So….Nicole Smith, would you like to go out with me?”

“Yes”

He let go of my hand and headed towards the door.

“So, I’ll call you later so we can arrange time and place. Bye”

As he headed out the door, I felt the confusion start to fade.

*************************************************

Mikey’s POV

I threw myself on the green velvet couch next to Ray.

“So how you’re love life going?” he asked, his eyes stilled glued to the tv.

“Sucks.”

He looked away from the tv and looked at me confused.

“I thought you were in love?”

“Yeah, so did I. But it’s just not the same….”

“Not the same to….what?”

My heart sank, as I thought about what love was. What love felt like.

“Uh, never mind”

Ray grabbed the remote control from my hand just as I was about to look for something a little bit more entertaining than the morning news.

“Oh no, you better tell me. I’m curious”

I sighted, throwing my head back onto the edge of the couch.

“It’s just not the same….to what I felt back in high school, a few years ago. There, you happy?”

Ray turned off the tv, now directing his full attention to me. That only made me feel more uncomfortable.

“What happened in high school?”

I sighted once more, defeated. It seemed like today would be the day I was gonna tell him my life.

“There was a girl I met, on the first day of junior year. We became friends instantly. But I liked her more than as just a friend…..and she did too. So…we dated, I guess. It was weird you know, I mean, it was like she was my girlfriend but at the same time my best friend. I don’t know, it seems so weird now that I think about it.”

“And?? Please continue!” he demanded eagerly as if I was narrating some sort of novel.

“Well, we were in love, I guess. Well, at least I was…..I think I still kind of am….” I whispered the last part.

“So what happened? Did she cheat, break up with you??”

“Yes and no. I’m not sure. I mean, she caught me and this girl kissing. Well she was the high school whore and she kissed me. I pulled her away as soon as I could. But Nicole didn’t believe me.”

“Nicole?? That’s her name?”

I nodded.

“Wow, that’s such a cute name”

“Yeah, anyways….than I found out she apparently had broken up with me, cause I mean, she would avoid me and talk mean to me when she did. So I just avoided her too. Though, it hurt more than I can ever imagine. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life.”

“Awwww, that’s so sweeeeettt….and sad” he added when I showed no sign of sweetness on my face.

“I know. It still hurts sometimes. But than, I saw her with my brother. I was beyond hurt than. I had felt bad all that time thinking I had failed her somehow, even thought I technically hadn’t. And than I find out she cheated on me!!”

“No she didn’t.”

I calmed down and looked at Ray, thinking what the hell did he just say??! Ok so, maybe I didn’t calm down too much.

“Yes she did! And with my brother!”

“Woah, calm down there buddy. I don’t think she cheated on you if you guys weren’t together anymore. I mean, that’s like…..impossible.”

“But still!!” I whined, like a kid who had to be right, who always had to win the discussion.
“Mikey….I think maybe you were just hurt so badly cause it was with….”

“My fuckin’ brother! I know!!”

Ray placed both of his hands gently on my shoulders.

“Calm down please. Forget I ever brought this up. Sorry for bugging into your private life”

I shook his hands off of me and got up.

“Where you going?”

“Family’s” I answered, grabbing my car keys and heading out the door.

***********************

I walked up the stairs and stepped on his porch. I walked around, not sure if I should have come here in the first place.
I decided to just talk with him. So I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently for him to answer.

“Mikey??”

He seemed more than surprised to see me. And I couldn’t blame him. I haven’t seen him much lately and not because we didn’t have the time to or anything like that, cause we attended the same art school for god’s sake. It was cause I chose not to.

“Hey, Gee”

As I said that, I got this weird feeling on my lips. I hadn’t pronounced that three later name in a long time, and kind of missed it.

“Uh, come on in.”

He moved aside, allowing me to step in.
I looked around his messy place. I kind of envied him though. And it had nothing to do with the mess this place was, in fact I had to force myself to not grab the vacuum and some cleaning products and clean it all up. It was cause he lived in a house. He had a house, while I lived in a shared apartment.

“So…what brings you here?”

I had to admit, I wasn’t even sure. I just had the urge to come here and see him. Just thinking about what had happened years ago made me want to see him. It also made me want to jump on him and punch the hell out of him. But I just thought, why not just talk?

“I wanted to talk.”

He moved around the living room, setting some things aside on the couch, to make enough room for us to sit.
I followed him and sat on the empty space.

“What about?” he asked as he took a sit right next to me.

“The past”

“The past??”

“Yeah, you know…..Nicole….”

He stiffened, I swear.
I just found it weird.

“Ok….”

“Well, did she cheat on me?”

He looked puzzled as he thought it.
I should have known.

“Of course not. I mean, you guys broke up before she….”

“Became your fuck buddy” I spat.

“No. Don’t talk about her like that. You make her sound like a slut, which she’s not. She was just on the rebound and…I might have taken advantage of that without noticing”

“I see….”

“Anyways, what about you? Are you dating again?”

I nodded.

“Oh, who is she??”

“Her name’s Ally.”

“Oh….umm so you saw Nicole?”

I wasn’t expecting him to ask me that. How did he know?

“What the fuck!? Who told you?”

He got a little nervous as he answered.

“I ran into her at collage”

“She goes there too? How come I haven’t seen her?’

“I don’t know, maybe you don’t pay to much of attention. Cause she’s hard to miss, let me tell you that…..and she’s in my class”

I didn’t like that way he said she was hard to miss. Though, I had to agree, after all I had seen her too. Just not in collage.

“And she’s fucking mad with you, by the way” he added.

“Yeah, I know. I’m an ass. But I didn’t know Ally was HER best friend.”

“It’s ok. I guess. She’s still hurt about us leaving her, you know. That’s it. Maybe if you guys talked…… ah, never mind”

“What?”

I felt as if he was regretting starting to say something. Which was killing me.

“Nothing. Just, never mind.”

I just let it go and go up.

“You leaving already?”

“Yeah, I told Ally I was gonna pick her up to go to the movies”

“Ok….I’ll talk to you later than. Bye”

I can’t even begin to explain how awkward the hug he gave me was.