Sequel: Pretending to be Dead ›
Living Like You're Dead
Regret
[1 week later]
Addie was looking at her toes. The mud squished through them; it tickled. She was in the pond, swimming around, and Daryl was somewhere near by. He had placed flat stones at the bottom of the pond to keep the turbidity low. She could actually see through most of the water now. Her hair was wet, but already started to curl against her skin. She had brought soap with her and now there were foamy bubbles all around her.
She was bored swimming without Daryl, so she decided to towel off and go gather her dry laundry. The fuzzy cotton was soft against her skin. She was clean and dry now; except for a bit of blood on her thigh.
She stared at the red fluid. Her immediate reaction was shock, which then flooded into disappointment; she knew she was no longer pregnant.
She wiped away what blood she found, and dressed herself for the time being. She set off for the house so she could tend to her menstruation. Daryl would find her sooner or later.
_______________________________________________________________
Daryl arrived at the pond. There was a soapy residue on the surface, but no Adeline. He panicked for a second before realizing her clothes were gone also, she had just left without telling him. Daryl grabbed his fresh kill, and the towel Addie had forgotten then headed for the house.
Daryl was still angry at Merle, he realized that he would never forgive him; he would always hate his brother to some extent. He knew that Merle did not in fact know that Addie was Daryl’s, but he still raped a woman nonetheless – one that Merle knew was part of their group.
Daryl was deep in thought as he strode back to the house, then he noticed a bit of blood on his arm. He had scratched himself on some nearby tree he thought, but upon wiping it away he found no injury. Then he noticed the towel was stained with blood. Was Addie really okay? Daryl found his pace to quicken, and then turn into a full on run as he headed back for the house.
_______________________________________________________________
Addie sat in her bedroom, finally completely clean. She was eating some fruit from a can – peaches in syrup it seemed. Oh how she wished that dairy products didn’t expire so easily, she would love some cottage cheese to accompany her snack.
Her thoughts were mulling in her head, every moment she ignored them they only grew darker.
She was no longer having a baby. After she found out she was pregnant her nightmares about her mother were replaced with sweet dreams about a child in her arms.
…What would she dream of now?
After careful thought Addie stood from her bed and headed to Shane’s room. She took the screwdriver from Daryl’s dresser and simply unscrewed each screw. The knob hung low and the latch was no longer secure. She opened the door to find Merle sitting on the bed facing the small window. This had been her mother’s room.
She quietly sat at the edge of the bed. Her legs felt naked in front of the man who had raped her. But that was the only uncomforting sensation she felt around him. He damp hair clung to her skin, and she was now sporting a light tan due to the summer sun.
Merle looked up to see who had entered his room and found great surprise for it to be her.
She didn’t seem angry. She didn’t seem sad or scared. But she just sat there next to him, like nothing had happened.
“Do you know what we’re doing to him, you and I?”
“To Daryl?” he asked.
“He has nightmares about killing you. Nightmares about losing me. It’s really making him restless.”
“So he wants me dead?”
“No, or you’d be dead.” Addie paused and drew in a long breath. “The same day we arrived here… we found a man who had been living here. His name was Erik. He had lost his wife to infection and when he saw the documents I had concerning the infection… he freaked, tried to strangle me right there. And Daryl killed him.”
“So what then?”
“So I’m saying he’s struggling with a part of him wanting to kill you and a part of him loving you. Your family Merle, he knows that. Plus if he wanted you dead he wouldn’t slip you meals.”
“That’s been him?” he asked. “I assumed it was one of the women.”
“Nope. He’s still looking after you. Just not looking at you… or I think his rage wouldn’t be so easy to control.”
“Why are you here?” he asked after a long silent pause.
“Because I don’t like him tearing himself up.”
“What do I do?”
“I don’t know honestly. I wish I did." another long pause was shared between them. "I'm not pregnant." she said aloud. Tears easily filled her eyes, but she kept and gasps from escaping her lips.
Merle reached his left hand to hers and lightly touched the back of her fist. She could feel how calloused his hands were, just like Daryl's before she had tired to ignore the feeling of him on her altogether. But now she took the gesture as a genuine apology. And event though he would never, ever, be able to make up for what he did - Addie knew he felt regret.
Addie was looking at her toes. The mud squished through them; it tickled. She was in the pond, swimming around, and Daryl was somewhere near by. He had placed flat stones at the bottom of the pond to keep the turbidity low. She could actually see through most of the water now. Her hair was wet, but already started to curl against her skin. She had brought soap with her and now there were foamy bubbles all around her.
She was bored swimming without Daryl, so she decided to towel off and go gather her dry laundry. The fuzzy cotton was soft against her skin. She was clean and dry now; except for a bit of blood on her thigh.
She stared at the red fluid. Her immediate reaction was shock, which then flooded into disappointment; she knew she was no longer pregnant.
She wiped away what blood she found, and dressed herself for the time being. She set off for the house so she could tend to her menstruation. Daryl would find her sooner or later.
_______________________________________________________________
Daryl arrived at the pond. There was a soapy residue on the surface, but no Adeline. He panicked for a second before realizing her clothes were gone also, she had just left without telling him. Daryl grabbed his fresh kill, and the towel Addie had forgotten then headed for the house.
Daryl was still angry at Merle, he realized that he would never forgive him; he would always hate his brother to some extent. He knew that Merle did not in fact know that Addie was Daryl’s, but he still raped a woman nonetheless – one that Merle knew was part of their group.
Daryl was deep in thought as he strode back to the house, then he noticed a bit of blood on his arm. He had scratched himself on some nearby tree he thought, but upon wiping it away he found no injury. Then he noticed the towel was stained with blood. Was Addie really okay? Daryl found his pace to quicken, and then turn into a full on run as he headed back for the house.
_______________________________________________________________
Addie sat in her bedroom, finally completely clean. She was eating some fruit from a can – peaches in syrup it seemed. Oh how she wished that dairy products didn’t expire so easily, she would love some cottage cheese to accompany her snack.
Her thoughts were mulling in her head, every moment she ignored them they only grew darker.
She was no longer having a baby. After she found out she was pregnant her nightmares about her mother were replaced with sweet dreams about a child in her arms.
…What would she dream of now?
After careful thought Addie stood from her bed and headed to Shane’s room. She took the screwdriver from Daryl’s dresser and simply unscrewed each screw. The knob hung low and the latch was no longer secure. She opened the door to find Merle sitting on the bed facing the small window. This had been her mother’s room.
She quietly sat at the edge of the bed. Her legs felt naked in front of the man who had raped her. But that was the only uncomforting sensation she felt around him. He damp hair clung to her skin, and she was now sporting a light tan due to the summer sun.
Merle looked up to see who had entered his room and found great surprise for it to be her.
She didn’t seem angry. She didn’t seem sad or scared. But she just sat there next to him, like nothing had happened.
“Do you know what we’re doing to him, you and I?”
“To Daryl?” he asked.
“He has nightmares about killing you. Nightmares about losing me. It’s really making him restless.”
“So he wants me dead?”
“No, or you’d be dead.” Addie paused and drew in a long breath. “The same day we arrived here… we found a man who had been living here. His name was Erik. He had lost his wife to infection and when he saw the documents I had concerning the infection… he freaked, tried to strangle me right there. And Daryl killed him.”
“So what then?”
“So I’m saying he’s struggling with a part of him wanting to kill you and a part of him loving you. Your family Merle, he knows that. Plus if he wanted you dead he wouldn’t slip you meals.”
“That’s been him?” he asked. “I assumed it was one of the women.”
“Nope. He’s still looking after you. Just not looking at you… or I think his rage wouldn’t be so easy to control.”
“Why are you here?” he asked after a long silent pause.
“Because I don’t like him tearing himself up.”
“What do I do?”
“I don’t know honestly. I wish I did." another long pause was shared between them. "I'm not pregnant." she said aloud. Tears easily filled her eyes, but she kept and gasps from escaping her lips.
Merle reached his left hand to hers and lightly touched the back of her fist. She could feel how calloused his hands were, just like Daryl's before she had tired to ignore the feeling of him on her altogether. But now she took the gesture as a genuine apology. And event though he would never, ever, be able to make up for what he did - Addie knew he felt regret.