Living Like You're Dead

Daryl arrived back at the house and left his game bag in the kitchen. Addie wasn’t in the living area, kitchen, or study. So he ran up the stairs to the third floor looking for her in his room.

But when he saw Merle’s door ajar. He panicked.

Rushing into the room he found it empty. At least empty from what he’d expected. Addie was the only thing there. She was crying.

Rage immediately filled him.

“What did he do to you? Where is he? Where’d he go?” Daryl asked, his rage was blind and he shook her. “Addie where is he!? Tell me”

“He left.” She cried. “I let him leave.”

“Where’d he go? Addie you need to tell me.”

“I don’t know.” She said. Daryl furiously left the room in search of his brother. He checked every room, but no Merle. And when Daryl stepped onto the porch he tried to figure where he would’ve went. But he had no idea.

He walked back inside and went up the stairs. In the room he had just so abruptly left now held no one.

“Addie. ADDIE.” He said aloud checking closets and behind doors. She wasn’t there.

How did he lose two people so quickly?

Finally having the sense to check his room, he found her. Quietly sitting on the bed, her tears were now dry.

“Why’d you let him go?”

“Just left.” She said. “He just left.”

“But Addie you opened the door.”

“Just to talk.” She said.

“About what?”

“Well about you.” She said. “Just worried for you. Merle thought it’d be best for him to leave and let us be.”

“Oh. That’s… all?” he asked.

“Yep.”

The truth was she knew Daryl might’ve killed Merle if Daryl knew about the child no longer growing inside her, she didn’t think Merle deserved to die.
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Addie’s appetite allowed her to eat some of the turkey Daryl had caught; but only a small amount. Even though she no longer suffered from morning sickness, she suffered from the pain of losing her baby.

She fell asleep on Daryl while he was reading a book from the study. He was reading some Louis L’amour to her, westerns seemed to entertain her the most. But she fell asleep dreaming of a wild west, where she roped cattle and rode horses in the desert.
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Her chestnut mare carried her through the blistering heat. The sun beat down on her back and her water canteen was nearly empty. She led her mare through some thickets and found a small pond. While she took a moment to let her horse rest and fill her canteen she couldn’t help but feel being watched.

Mounting the mare again she circled the area as far as she could see. Nothing, she just had the chills. As she began to trot forward several Indians sprang from the brush surrounding her with spears, each man was ready to throw his spear giving her no time to reach her gun.

They spooked her horse, she was knocked off onto her back, all air from her lugs was lost, and she couldn’t get any to go back in. Her horse ran from the attack leaving her without an escape. She was trapped.

Looking up at her attackers she saw several familiar faces; Daryl for one, and Merle another, and some where old friends from France. But before she could speak someone dove a spear straight into her chest, he body curved at the pain as she slowly slipped from this reality she had created.
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Then she awoke in sweat.

Daryl was fast asleep, the book was shut. He hadn’t been reading to her for quite some time. Addie’s thought’s raced at what her dream could potentially mean. She thought back to her old psychology classes. But nothing made sense to her.

She needed some fresh air.