Absolution
Chapter One
Gerard’s POV
I flipped to the ‘I’ section and found him almost instantly. Frank Iero: 294 Mandalay Road.
He lives near me, I thought. That’s not too far away, about a ten or fifteen minute drive. Sarah used to live over there.
I grabbed my hoodie and put it on before going out to my car. It was an old Taurus, so old that it wouldn’t even start if the temperature was under about forty degrees outside. The heat and air conditioner did not work, no matter what type of weather. Sometimes you couldn’t hear the radio for the loud engine. Any day now it would probably give out. Knowing my luck, it would be when I was speeding down a highway. I would be the cause of the biggest pile up Jersey had ever seen. At least I would die in style, I guess.
Fifteen minutes later I found myself in front of a huge brick house that was surrounded by five or six equally expensive looking cars. Frank was obviously rich, I noted. It also looked like his family was having a party, but I couldn’t hear anyone laughing or anything.
I got out of my car, gently closing the door behind me. I began walking towards the house but then I noticed him and came to an abrupt halt. He was in the side yard in a black suit, staring down at the ground with his back up to a large tree.
“Frank?” I asked, coming over.
He jumped, and looked up at me. His eyes were red and his cheeks puffy. He looked like he hadn’t slept in ages. “H-Hey, Gerard.” He sniffed, wiping underneath his eyes.
I sat down by him on the ground, looking at him curiously. “What’s going on?”
“M-My grandpa died on Tuesday.” He whimpered, and then he collapsed into tears, covering his face with his hands and bowing his head.
“I’m so sorry.” I said quietly, not knowing what else to say. I watched him, realizing for the first time how different from me Frank really was. He was young, fragile. He hadn’t been touched by so much of life yet. He may have been smart enough to advance to college—I knew he took more than the three classes we had together, it was my understanding that he took 8 throughout the week— but he was still a kid. A lot like Mikey, I thought. Only he was still younger. I knew Mikey had done drugs and drank… Frank hadn’t even done that.
“It’s not your fault.” He sniffed. “W-… What… How did you know where I lived?” he looked up at me, staring at me with his teary red eyes.
“Student Directory.” I admitted shyly, looking down.
He laughed quietly through his sniffles. “What? You kept that?”
“I threw all of the stuff into a corner of my room. I don’t really throw stuff away until I can’t walk.”
He giggled, looking up at me. “Oh. I threw it all away. I guess that wasn’t too smart…”
“Hey, you’re smart.” I said, nudging him. “You’re sixteen years old and in classes with 21 year old deadbeats like me.”
“That’s not true.” He shook his head. I wasn’t sure whether he was referring to him being smart or me being a deadbeat, but he was probably talking about him being smart. He sniffed again. “The funeral was earlier and now everyone is just hanging around, talking and getting drunk. I hate it. I can’t even go inside because they’re all crying and fighting. Some of them are so drunk, though, that they don’t even remember where they are.” He looked down once again, shaking his head. “C-Can you get me out of here, Gerard? I’m sorry, I just can’t be here and you’re the only one that I… that I want to be around now. You’re so nice to me and I really like you.” He sniffed and bit his lip.
“Sure.” I said, feeling a swooping sensation in my chest. I would have done anything for him, if only for the fact that he looked so damn miserable and alone. He was in pain and even if no one else cared to be there for him, I did. He was the closest thing I had to a friend and he needed someone. I stood up, holding out a hand to help him up. He accepted it, wiping off his pants where he had been sitting in the grass.
“Do you need to tell someone?” I asked quietly.
“They won’t care… or even notice.” He shook his head, brushing the bangs from out of his face. “Come on, let’s go.”
…
“I wasn’t that close to my grandpa.” Frank was saying quietly, sitting next to me in a gazebo next to a lake. The lake was actually disgusting, there was green algae covering most of the top and there were mosquitoes and flies everywhere. It was not exactly a nice smelling place either, not a top choice hang out amongst kids. “This one, at least. I’m close to my dad’s father…” he sniffed. “He’s the drummer… I told you about him, right?”
I nodded, looking at him.
“It just… hit me, I think. My grandfather is dead and I’ll never see him again. He was just this man who smoked from his pipe all day, sitting on this fat fucking pile of money. Did you see my house, Gerard? Did you? I don’t even know why I care that the man goddamn died, he made no positive impact in my life in the least!”
I nodded, staring at him. His eyes were bright with fury.
“That’s from his money; they pass it down by the generation. My mom and I don’t need a house that big, why would we? It’s ridiculous. We live in New Jersey. Plenty of people here need that money and they’re hoarding it all off. When my mom dies, I’m giving it away. I refuse to live like them. I’m giving it to the orphanages.” He had sat straight up, but then he relaxed against the wall of the gazebo. He spread his legs out, staring at them. “When I was little I always tried to steal the cash. I would throw it outside but mom would always see me.” He shook his head. “I don’t get why I’m like this. I can’t stand it, Gerard. I feel so angry and hurt and I won’t shut up. Why don’t you talk much? I feel like I talk and never let you. You must hate me. You’re so nice for coming to check on me and all I can do is complain about my family when my grandfather just died…” he collapsed into tears again, but this time it was different. Before they had been silent and he had been still.
Now he was letting out heart wrenching sobs, his shoulders shaking. I felt a tug at my heart, watching poor Frank like this. I had to do something to comfort him, but what?
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest. His slender fingers wrapped themselves around my hoodie and he squeezed the fabric in his hands into a bowl, crying helplessly. He whimpered several times, burrowing his head into the crook between my shoulder and neck.
This wasn’t the Frank I knew, and it was putting me off. All I could do was watch, in shock. He usually laughed, talking about music and comic books or scary movies. He never complained about anything, yet he had for the past hour. Now he was sobbing hysterically in my arms. This is what death did to people, I thought. Death changes you.
It took about fifteen minutes before Frank calmed down. His grip loosened on my shirt and he sat up, wiping his eyes. They fell on me and he gave me a small smile. “Thank you, Gerard.”
“You’re welcome. Are you alright?” I asked, finally finding my voice after watching him for so long. I was almost even scared to speak because I didn’t want to say anything that may cause him any more pain.
He nodded, brushing hair away from his eyes. “Sorry I freaked out.” He sniffed.
“No, it’s okay.” I smiled.
“Why… though? Why are you always so quiet?” he asked, looking at me confused, sniffing again. “D-Do I make you uncomfortable?”
I looked at Frank, this sixteen year old boy who was beginning to steal my heart. I could tell it; by the way my heart tore in two when I saw him this sad. “No, of course not.” I shook my head.
He reached down, grasping my hand. The sudden contact scared me, and I jumped. He squeezed my hand anyway, holding it in his lap. “Why, then? It’s not just with me… you’re so nice and… I think you should talk more.”
“I just always say stupid stuff.” I sighed, shrugging. I didn’t feel like talking about my own problems when he was obviously facing several of his own. That felt selfish and I hated talking about myself anyway. “It’s like everything I say comes out wrong… I don’t know.”
“I don’t think you say stupid stuff. I love talking to you.” Frank said, leaning against me with our hands still linked. “You’re special, Gee.”
I sat silently, biting my lip and looked down at our intertwined hands. “Thanks…”
He let go of my hand and blew his nose, then nodded. “You don’t have to thank someone for telling the truth. You’re a really cool and amazing person and one day, you’ll see that. I’ll make sure of it.”
I bit my lip again, refraining from sighing. It was beginning to get cooler and darker, but we did not move from the gazebo for several long minutes.
Eventually Frank sighed and turned to me, saying, “I should go home now, Gerard… thanks for everything.”
“I’ll drive you.” I said quietly, not wanting him to leave me. I was almost afraid the next time I saw him he wouldn’t talk to me. Maybe, now that I voiced some my thoughts, he would decide the stuff I said was right. He might never talk to me again. Maybe he would decide that since life was so short, maybe he’d better spend it with more important people.
“I won’t, you know?” he muttered as he stood, looking at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“Won’t what?”
“Be like them.” Was all he said, shoving his hands down into his pockets and shivering.
I smiled softly at him, and led him to my car…
I flipped to the ‘I’ section and found him almost instantly. Frank Iero: 294 Mandalay Road.
He lives near me, I thought. That’s not too far away, about a ten or fifteen minute drive. Sarah used to live over there.
I grabbed my hoodie and put it on before going out to my car. It was an old Taurus, so old that it wouldn’t even start if the temperature was under about forty degrees outside. The heat and air conditioner did not work, no matter what type of weather. Sometimes you couldn’t hear the radio for the loud engine. Any day now it would probably give out. Knowing my luck, it would be when I was speeding down a highway. I would be the cause of the biggest pile up Jersey had ever seen. At least I would die in style, I guess.
Fifteen minutes later I found myself in front of a huge brick house that was surrounded by five or six equally expensive looking cars. Frank was obviously rich, I noted. It also looked like his family was having a party, but I couldn’t hear anyone laughing or anything.
I got out of my car, gently closing the door behind me. I began walking towards the house but then I noticed him and came to an abrupt halt. He was in the side yard in a black suit, staring down at the ground with his back up to a large tree.
“Frank?” I asked, coming over.
He jumped, and looked up at me. His eyes were red and his cheeks puffy. He looked like he hadn’t slept in ages. “H-Hey, Gerard.” He sniffed, wiping underneath his eyes.
I sat down by him on the ground, looking at him curiously. “What’s going on?”
“M-My grandpa died on Tuesday.” He whimpered, and then he collapsed into tears, covering his face with his hands and bowing his head.
“I’m so sorry.” I said quietly, not knowing what else to say. I watched him, realizing for the first time how different from me Frank really was. He was young, fragile. He hadn’t been touched by so much of life yet. He may have been smart enough to advance to college—I knew he took more than the three classes we had together, it was my understanding that he took 8 throughout the week— but he was still a kid. A lot like Mikey, I thought. Only he was still younger. I knew Mikey had done drugs and drank… Frank hadn’t even done that.
“It’s not your fault.” He sniffed. “W-… What… How did you know where I lived?” he looked up at me, staring at me with his teary red eyes.
“Student Directory.” I admitted shyly, looking down.
He laughed quietly through his sniffles. “What? You kept that?”
“I threw all of the stuff into a corner of my room. I don’t really throw stuff away until I can’t walk.”
He giggled, looking up at me. “Oh. I threw it all away. I guess that wasn’t too smart…”
“Hey, you’re smart.” I said, nudging him. “You’re sixteen years old and in classes with 21 year old deadbeats like me.”
“That’s not true.” He shook his head. I wasn’t sure whether he was referring to him being smart or me being a deadbeat, but he was probably talking about him being smart. He sniffed again. “The funeral was earlier and now everyone is just hanging around, talking and getting drunk. I hate it. I can’t even go inside because they’re all crying and fighting. Some of them are so drunk, though, that they don’t even remember where they are.” He looked down once again, shaking his head. “C-Can you get me out of here, Gerard? I’m sorry, I just can’t be here and you’re the only one that I… that I want to be around now. You’re so nice to me and I really like you.” He sniffed and bit his lip.
“Sure.” I said, feeling a swooping sensation in my chest. I would have done anything for him, if only for the fact that he looked so damn miserable and alone. He was in pain and even if no one else cared to be there for him, I did. He was the closest thing I had to a friend and he needed someone. I stood up, holding out a hand to help him up. He accepted it, wiping off his pants where he had been sitting in the grass.
“Do you need to tell someone?” I asked quietly.
“They won’t care… or even notice.” He shook his head, brushing the bangs from out of his face. “Come on, let’s go.”
…
“I wasn’t that close to my grandpa.” Frank was saying quietly, sitting next to me in a gazebo next to a lake. The lake was actually disgusting, there was green algae covering most of the top and there were mosquitoes and flies everywhere. It was not exactly a nice smelling place either, not a top choice hang out amongst kids. “This one, at least. I’m close to my dad’s father…” he sniffed. “He’s the drummer… I told you about him, right?”
I nodded, looking at him.
“It just… hit me, I think. My grandfather is dead and I’ll never see him again. He was just this man who smoked from his pipe all day, sitting on this fat fucking pile of money. Did you see my house, Gerard? Did you? I don’t even know why I care that the man goddamn died, he made no positive impact in my life in the least!”
I nodded, staring at him. His eyes were bright with fury.
“That’s from his money; they pass it down by the generation. My mom and I don’t need a house that big, why would we? It’s ridiculous. We live in New Jersey. Plenty of people here need that money and they’re hoarding it all off. When my mom dies, I’m giving it away. I refuse to live like them. I’m giving it to the orphanages.” He had sat straight up, but then he relaxed against the wall of the gazebo. He spread his legs out, staring at them. “When I was little I always tried to steal the cash. I would throw it outside but mom would always see me.” He shook his head. “I don’t get why I’m like this. I can’t stand it, Gerard. I feel so angry and hurt and I won’t shut up. Why don’t you talk much? I feel like I talk and never let you. You must hate me. You’re so nice for coming to check on me and all I can do is complain about my family when my grandfather just died…” he collapsed into tears again, but this time it was different. Before they had been silent and he had been still.
Now he was letting out heart wrenching sobs, his shoulders shaking. I felt a tug at my heart, watching poor Frank like this. I had to do something to comfort him, but what?
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest. His slender fingers wrapped themselves around my hoodie and he squeezed the fabric in his hands into a bowl, crying helplessly. He whimpered several times, burrowing his head into the crook between my shoulder and neck.
This wasn’t the Frank I knew, and it was putting me off. All I could do was watch, in shock. He usually laughed, talking about music and comic books or scary movies. He never complained about anything, yet he had for the past hour. Now he was sobbing hysterically in my arms. This is what death did to people, I thought. Death changes you.
It took about fifteen minutes before Frank calmed down. His grip loosened on my shirt and he sat up, wiping his eyes. They fell on me and he gave me a small smile. “Thank you, Gerard.”
“You’re welcome. Are you alright?” I asked, finally finding my voice after watching him for so long. I was almost even scared to speak because I didn’t want to say anything that may cause him any more pain.
He nodded, brushing hair away from his eyes. “Sorry I freaked out.” He sniffed.
“No, it’s okay.” I smiled.
“Why… though? Why are you always so quiet?” he asked, looking at me confused, sniffing again. “D-Do I make you uncomfortable?”
I looked at Frank, this sixteen year old boy who was beginning to steal my heart. I could tell it; by the way my heart tore in two when I saw him this sad. “No, of course not.” I shook my head.
He reached down, grasping my hand. The sudden contact scared me, and I jumped. He squeezed my hand anyway, holding it in his lap. “Why, then? It’s not just with me… you’re so nice and… I think you should talk more.”
“I just always say stupid stuff.” I sighed, shrugging. I didn’t feel like talking about my own problems when he was obviously facing several of his own. That felt selfish and I hated talking about myself anyway. “It’s like everything I say comes out wrong… I don’t know.”
“I don’t think you say stupid stuff. I love talking to you.” Frank said, leaning against me with our hands still linked. “You’re special, Gee.”
I sat silently, biting my lip and looked down at our intertwined hands. “Thanks…”
He let go of my hand and blew his nose, then nodded. “You don’t have to thank someone for telling the truth. You’re a really cool and amazing person and one day, you’ll see that. I’ll make sure of it.”
I bit my lip again, refraining from sighing. It was beginning to get cooler and darker, but we did not move from the gazebo for several long minutes.
Eventually Frank sighed and turned to me, saying, “I should go home now, Gerard… thanks for everything.”
“I’ll drive you.” I said quietly, not wanting him to leave me. I was almost afraid the next time I saw him he wouldn’t talk to me. Maybe, now that I voiced some my thoughts, he would decide the stuff I said was right. He might never talk to me again. Maybe he would decide that since life was so short, maybe he’d better spend it with more important people.
“I won’t, you know?” he muttered as he stood, looking at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“Won’t what?”
“Be like them.” Was all he said, shoving his hands down into his pockets and shivering.
I smiled softly at him, and led him to my car…