Baby Doll

Stephanie P.O.V.
I woke up when I felt a tugging at my shirt. My eyes sprang open fearing Matt but instead I found a small kitten the color of peaches and cream. My eyes widened as it continued to scratch at my t-shirt with its nails. I looked over when I felt the bed go down and Jason kissed me on the corner of my lips.
“Good morning Goldilocks.” He said and I kissed him on his lips.
“Jason he’s adorable.” I said turning away from him to pick the kitten up. It meowed and I cradled against my chest. Jason watched me from his position on my bed, resting his head on his hand.
“I thought you might like him. He reminds me of a cat I used to have when I was younger. My mom named him peaches and cream until he bit through a wire and was electrocuted after that he would sometimes stop out of nowhere and his whole body would go stalk still except for his right paw that would twitch in the air. So his name became Shaky.” He said beaming at me and I shook my head.
“Your such a weirdo.” I teased watching my new Kitty climb up my shirt using its nails. Jason gently tugged the cat off.
“Aww he looked so cute.” I say.
“He’ll ruin your shirt.” Jason explained setting the kitten on his own lap. I watched the kitten swat at Jason hair before I bounced up and scooped up the kitten then swung him around the room.
“Your name shall be Neko and you shall be my guard Kitty>” I yelled happily and Jason laughed.
“I’m the weirdo?” I sat Neko down on the floor then crawled on the bed until I was straddling Jason’s lap.
“Yes you are. I’m just cutely abnormal.” Jason rolled his eyes.
“Whatever Goldi. Oh how did you get home last night? I went to pick you up but they said you’d left early over some rowdy costumer.” My face fell and I started to climb off him but he gripped my hips lifting me up only so he was leaning against the headboard.
“What’s the matter baby?” He asked and I flinched.
“Don’t call me that.” I whispered looking down. Jason tilted my chin up.
“Why?”
“It’s too close to Baby Doll.” I whispered as my body started to tremble. God just remembering last night was frightening. Even right now I felt like my throat and mouth where stuffed with cotton.
“Stephanie it’s okay he won’t over hurt you again.” Jason said pulling me closer so I could lay my head on his chest.
“But just seeing him made me want to just end it all.” I whispered. Jason tightened his grip on me.
“I’m scared because I know he’s pissed at me and for the lat four years that’s something I’ve tried to avoid doing. Now I’m just waiting for him to punish me. With me moving out I know when he punishes me it’s going to be a lesson I’ll never forget.”
“Stephanie don’t so when because I’ll never let that happ-” I pulled away from him and pushed hard against his chest.
“He is Jason. He’ll find me punish me and make sure I never see you again.” I yelled but the determination in his emerald eyes didn’t waver.
“Hasn’t anyone ever just held you and calmed you don from nightmares said everything was going to be okay and you believed them?” Jason asked quietly and a face flashed into my head. Blue eyes swirled with gray and a mop of dirty blond locks. Sculpted cheekbones and a smile that made the Cheshire cat seem somber.
“What happened to you was horrible something you’ll never forget unless your lucky enough to get brain damage. But you have to move on. Find something to live for and use that as a motivation. These quacks will tell you can move on from it but I know from experience that you can never fully move on. You just have to accept it and be able to live without thinking about it every second. You’ll have a trigger that will set you off even if it’s the smallest thing. Stephanie I love you and I can’t promises everything will be okay because that’s bullshit but I can promise that I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”
“You can’t say everything will be okay because that’s bullshit.” I said and pulled away from him so my feet touched my bedroom floor. That person had been locked away in my mind but ever since I started talking to that psychiatrist dams I’d tried so hard to build had been broken or where cracked allowing memories to slip free. Memories I’d rather have stay locked up forever.
“Stephanie talk to me.” Jason said wrapping his arms around me from behind letting the smell of cinnamon circle me. I breathed his familiar scent in. He always smelled like some type of spice.
“Matt first raped me when I was fifteen but I had no clue who’d done it at first. After that I slit my wrist because it hurt so much. My mom had remarried to an asshole who hated me and when he found out I’d been raped he thought I was lying to cover up the fact I was a slut. The kids at school said the same thing. Do you know how it felt being called a whore just for not being strong enough to defend myself?” I said and Jason kissed my hair.
“Stephanie it wasn’t your fault.” He said and I silently disagreed with him but nodded anyway.
“It made sense to him that I had been hurt so violently because I was being punished for not being pure and waiting. My dad was dead from cancer and all I had was Matt but he wasn’t enough. So after I almost killed myself my step dad Robert had me put in a Hospice. I met this guy there named Jack and he helped me more then any of the counselors. He’d been through worse then me but was always so damn happy. When I left he was still there and I visited him every week until I went back one day and he wasn’t there. No forwarding address or anything. That’s when I tried to kill myself again and found out I . .” I stop clamping my mouth shut. Not yet he would not find out about that yet. Jason pulled me back and paid me down on my bed. He covered my face in kisses then looked down at me.
“I’m here now Stephanie. He said and I tried to look away but he forced me to look at him.
“I just love being around you and I repeat even if this couple thing doesn’t work out I would like for you to be in my life. But not in the same Matt was obsessed with you.” Jason said. I pulled him down so he could kiss me. His hands threaded themselves into my hair and I arched my body off the bed to be pressed more against him. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again I loved kissing him. Jason kissed away my fears as he lips brushed tears from my cheeks. His fingers started to massage my scalp and I allowed my own to drop from his neck to his butt where I squeezed. Jason groaned and pulled away so he was supporting him self on his arms.
“We should go buy stuff for Neko.” He said breathlessly and after another kiss I agreed.