Baby Doll

 

Stephanie

 

            When I wake up naked and bruised I try not to ask questions. Matt is snoring quietly beside me as I slip out of his hold. I feel every bruise as I head into the bathroom. I close the door quietly before flipping on the light. I bypass the mirror and instead turn on the shower. I step in once it’s heated and only then do I dare to look at my body.

“Oh.” The sound is out before I can catch it. Bruises lie in the usual places like my hips and thighs but they seem darker and uglier than usual. Cuts wound around my wrist and ankles.

 

He’d been upset last night, that much was for sure. All  remembered was coming home though. . . I wrapped my arms around my waist and smiled. Romeo had given me a ride home on his motorcycle. I’d nearly cut off his air supply as I gripped his waist but I’d just been so scared. I hated motorcycles what could I say. I felt like they were superbikes of death.

 

But Jason had felt warm and he’d smelled so sweet. Just like the cakes he made. I blushed as I thought about it.

“Enjoying you shower Baby Doll?” Matt said. I jumped and Matt pushed aside the glass door. I shivered as the air hit me. Matt was still naked showing off the body years of football had given him. He was everything any woman could want. So why didn't I want him?

 

His gaze went to my wrist.

“Fuck I didn’t do that right? The handcuffs . . .” He seemed lost in thought and I shivered again.

“I’m sorry Baby Doll do you want to shut it?” I reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked surprised as I pulled him in. He shut the door and I turned up the shower a little bit. Matt took my wrist and kissed it.

“I’m so sorry Stephanie. I wish-”  I put my finger to his lips. 

“Can we just forget it?” I whispered.

 

 Matt stared at me for a moment before nodding. His hair was stuck to his forehead from the water and he pushed it away. His body shielded me from most of the spray I pulled him down into a kiss. Our lips moved together in a dance that was as synchronized as the hearts beating in our chest. I loved Matt. Even if the blackouts made me scared to upset him I truly loved Matt.

 

 His lips dropped to my neck and he nibbled on a spot before sucking on it. He meant to leave a mark. A way of showing any man that he owned my body and to not touch. Not that I would ever let a man touch me.  Matt was the only man who touched me like this.

 

Except for . . . I couldn’t breathe much less scream as the taste of cotton filled my mouth. My hands wound tightly around whatever was binding me to the headboard. Tears raced down my cheeks as I sobbed through the gag. He groaned above me my name falling in a stutter from his lips mixed with curses. Please stop, please stop, I chanted in my head. I dug my nails into my palms and tried to will away the thrusting man above me. But he wouldn’t go away even after he pulled out and untied me before leaving me sobbing in the bed. He stayed inside my head to haunt my dreams and bleed into my days. I had to numb the pain. I had to numb the pain.  Pills, booze and the touch of Matt’s fingers sliding up my side. . .

 

“Stephanie? Baby Doll please wake up.” I blinked. Matt was staring down at me tearing harshly into his bottom lip. I was lying along the shower floor with my head cupped in Matt’s hands. Such warm and caring hands. I leaned into them and willed away the world for that second of perfection. Why had I been anxious this morning?  What had made me fear Matt? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.