You Wish You Had Me Back

I gently placed back old, dusty books. Some of the pages were so fragile from the lack of sun and human eyes that they nearly crumbled under the rare touch it received. I wiped down my tired face and stood from my kneeling position.

“You always looked best on your knees.”I turned, my breath getting caught like a lump in my throat.

That dirty talk never gets old. I shook my head quickly and continued to stare at those god given eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but I found myself speechless. What do I say to the man who up and left me a year ago? The man who chose fame over his good friend?

“What the fuck are you doing here?”It came in a cold whisper.

He seemed hurt, but I couldn’t take his feelings into thought. He could care less when he left me standing there, tears welled so far in my eyes I could barely see. It was like yesterday; it came back with such a hard hit.

“I came to see you.”He frowned.”I-”

“Can’t forget about me?”I scoffed.”The fame and women not enough for you?”

“That’s not it at all, Isabell.”He placed a warm hand on my forearm, but I couldn’t pull away.

His touch was so addicting; it was like a drug. I could fall back into memories where his inked arms were wrapped around me, his lips pressing against every part of showing skin. I found myself stepping away from him, glaring angrily in his direction.

“How’ve you been, Iz?”He smiled.

“Amazing, actually.”I spat.”A lovely boyfriend, nice house. You know, the works.”

I turned to my cart of books, pushing it down the isle toward my next destination. His footsteps followed close behind me.

“A boyfriend?”He chuckled.

I stopped, turning to face him once more. I opened my mouth to speak, but was silenced by his lips. I closed my eyes, feeling the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach filling up once more. His hands slid to my lower back, pressing me into him gently. I rose my hands to his face, but stopped it with a slap.

I pulled away, wiping my lips of his diseased kiss. I shook my head, snarling at him in disgust. His shoulders fell, disappointed that I only accepted him with open arms for a couple of seconds. I quietly stated, “Get out and don’t come back, Zacky. I’m sure your whore of a girlfriend is wondering where you are right about now.”

“So I guess setting a date for coffee with you would just be a waste of time?”He whimpered quietly.

“I would suddenly have something to do.”I turned on my heel, leaving Zacky alone in the fictional isle.

How could he take the time to come and see me again? It was the nerve in this boy that had me so attached. I bit down on my bottom lip as I quickly put back the books in their original spots. When two o’ clock came around, I waved goodbye to the girls and left for the day. I dug around in my pocket, searching desperately for my cigarettes.

As I approached my car, a small white sheet of paper clung loosely between my wipers and window. With an aggravated sigh, I picked it up, expecting a ticket. I took the time to light my cigarette, knowing it was going to be needed within the next couple of seconds. I turned it over, letting my shoulders slump slightly.

In scratchy handwriting was a note from Zacky. I read over it slowly, sighing quietly. In case you change your mind. Under it in small letters was his phone number. It seemed to be mocking me in a weird way. A year goes by without seeing Zacky or hearing from him. I go to work and find him trying to become friends again.

Is that how he thought friendships went? I crumbled it up in my hand, throwing it to the concrete ground. Granted, I lied about the boyfriend and nice house, but why tell him that? I stepped into my car, letting the smoke crawl through my nose and lips. I rested my head back on the headrest and fell into my well forgotten memories.

My back arched against the bed as Zacky came to a finish. Not once did he ever leave me unfinished; in fact, I could come with him multiple times. He knew every nook and cranny that I enjoyed. I tried to catch my breath as he fell to the bed. He wiped his forehead, chuckling quietly to himself.

“Three rounds,”He laughed.

“And we’re not done.”I smirked.

“You are going to wear me out, Iz.”He breathed.

“If I’m staying over, we have to keep busy.”I rolled over him, smiling devilishly.

“Oh, really now?”He grinned.

“Absolutely.”I pressed a rough kiss against his lips before trailing them down his jaw, chin and neck.

He let a gasp echoe into the room as I took him into my mouth.

I licked my dry lips, remembering all the nights we had spent together. I could remember the way he tasted, the way he could find any spot on me and make it stick. He was such a god given miracle, but he messed it up within a few hours. I knew exactly why he was coming back to me; I was the only one who could please him.

Make him feel like the best man in the world. I wasn’t going to fall for it anymore. I was happy with my life as it was. I didn’t need the heart break again; I don’t think I could stand it. My eyes shifted from the crumbled paper outside to my ignition. Do I take the chance?

After a small debate session, I popped open my drivers door. I quickly stepped out, snatching the letter up in seconds. I shoved it into my pocket, worried that I may be seen. I hurried into my car before heading home. I couldn’t fight the urge to talk to him.

He could blindside me no problem and I, sadly, could accept him. As I pulled into my driveway, I turned the car off and patted my front pocket a few times. With an annoyed sigh, I slowly pulled out my cell phone. I dialed over the numbers, knowing this call could make me or break me.

The rings came agonizingly slow. After a few more, his soft, but mesmerizing voice came onto the phone. He answered quietly with, “I knew you’d call.”