Status: Updates every Friday.
Fate & Control
001
Pain. Sadness. Hurt.
Was everything she was feeling, when she should be feeling happiness, joy, love or everything else that was an positive emotions. Not all these negative ones. She just wanted it stop, but it never will not until she made it.
She was weak and in love with the pain she felt because it was being caused by the one person who should be loving and protecting her, not hurting and blaming her. Every day. Every night. She would close her eyes and take the pain as he dealt it towards her.
'Please stop.'
'No more.'
'Why?'
Those were only a few of the thoughts that went through her mind during those painful moments. During every punch. Every kick. Every hurtful thing he would say towards her. She would take them and not show any emotion until the moment he was gone.
Every ounce of sadness and pain would come flooding out as she pick herself up from the ground and carried herself towards the bathroom. She would look at herself in the mirror and not know who was looking back at her.
Jamie Lightwood had changed during this period in her life. She wasn't the happy free-spirited girl she once was. She was now a broken lonely girl, who allowed herself to be beaten and taken advantage of.
She had thought after the first time nearly two years ago would be the last time, but it went from once to twice to every night. No matter what she did, he would hurt her in some way. She felt so ashamed that she had allowed this to happen.
Why her? Why her relationship?
Does Fate have it out for her? What had she done to deserve this kind of pain? All those questions would ran through her mind every night after each beating she would received.
This was her life and it seemed to control her.
The cool breeze felt nice against her heated flesh. Jamie pushed her sweaty bangs from her face and sighed. Sweat glistened across her face has she run up towards her flat. Her heart pounded against her chest.
Jamie had just come back from an two hour run. She was beyond exhausted and all she wanted was to take a shower and then take a long ass nap, but she knew once she stepped through the thrust hold of her flat, none of that was happening.
Jamie gripped the doorknob. She could feel the fear and dread coursing through her veins as she pushed the door open. Silence greeted her as she walked further into the flat. She kicked off her shoes and closed the front door quietly behind her.
"Matt?" She called through out the quiet house. Silence was her only answer as she walked further into the house.
The feeling of fear and dread started to drift from her body, being replaced by an sense of peace. Not wanting to lose this feeling, Jamie quickly headed up the stairs towards her bathroom. Wanting to take a hot shower before her boyfriend decided to show his face.
With that, Jamie hurried her pace towards the bathroom and quickly undressed before hoping into the steaming shower. She soon lost herself in the feeling of the warm water coursing down her body, that she didn't hear the front door opening and the footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Jamie?"
Her eyes shut open and her pulse soon started to quicken once she heard a voice call out her name. The sound of the bathroom door opening caused the feeling of panic to set in. She could see the silhouette of someone through the curtains as the person walked closer to her.
She pushed herself up against the cold tile wall of the shower and held her breath as she watched the curtain be ripped open. Soon brown eyes met green.
"Nay!" Jamie shouted, trying to cover herself up from the eyes of her best friend
"Sorry."
Nayja let go of the shower curtain and soon the naked body of her best friend was no longer visible to her. Jamie shut off the water and grabbed the towel that hanged right beside the tub.
"Why are you here?" Jamie questioned, wrapping the towel tightly across her body and soon open the curtain to see Nayja leaning against the sink
"I was bored and wanted to see my best friend." Nayja simply said, pushing away from the sink and followed Jamie out of the bathroom.
Jamie nodded her head and walked quickly into her bedroom, not liking of the cold air licking her wet skin. Nayja took a seat on the bed, while Jamie went into the walk in closet.
"Is there any other reason you wanted to see me?" Jamie asked, peaking her head of the closet to look at her best friend.
Nayja simply shook her head and went back to staring mindless at the wall. Jamie cocked her head to the side and waited for Nayja to look at her, but she never took her eyes off the wall. Jamie could tell there was something off about her best friend and decided to keep it to herself until Nayja said something to her.
Jamie finished getting dressed and walked out of her closet to see Nayja not staring at the wall, but her phone. She was chewing on her bottom lip and had an pained look on her face as she texted back whoever she was talking to.
"Will you like to go the café and talk?" Jamie asked, pulling her hair into an bun whistling waiting for Nayja to answer her question.
"Sure."
Jamie hummed softly to herself has she gathered up her belongings before shoving them into her purse, making sure that her cell phone was fully charged and she didn't have any missed calls nor texts.
Once everything was counted for, Jamie walked out of her bedroom with Nayja trailing behind her, still texting.
"My car or ours?" Jamie asked, reaching for her keys that were hanging next to the front door.
"Let's just walk there." Nayja said, putting away her phone in her pocket and walking out the front door with Jamie trailing behind her.
The smell of coffee greeted the two girls, once they had step foot into the small café. Nay looked over the semi busy room to find somewhere they can sit and talk. She spotted a place more towards the back and started walking over there with Jamie right behind her.
"So what's wrong?" Jamie asked, taking a seat across her best friend and sat her bag down by her feet.
Nay looked down at her hands before meeting the green eyes of her eager best friend. "Well last night, the most shocking thing happened." Nay said, watching as Jamie lean foreword, waiting for the rest of the story to spill from Nay's lips.
"And?" Jamie impatiently asked
Nay bit the inside of her cheek and couldn't help when an big smile to made it's way on her face. "Oli asked me to marry him!" She squealed, holding up her left hand for Jamie to see the ring resting on her ring finger.
"Oh my goddess!" Jamie exclaimed, grabbing her friend's hand to get a closer look the ring Oli had given to Nay. "I'm so happy for you." Jamie said, letting go of Nay's hand.
Happiness was what Nay truly felt for right now. Soon the glee of the engagement would soon wear off and how she was truly feeling would come to the surface. Jamie couldn't be more happy for Nay right now. A big grin made it's way across her face as she talked to Nay about how Oli proposed and when she thought they were looking at getting married.
"I'm truly happy for you, Nay." Jamie smiled, getting up and hugging Nay. Tears gather up in both girls' eyes as they pulled away from each other. "Now we can plan our weddings together." Jamie said, wiping the tears that fall from her eyes.
Nay nodded her head and pushed back the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. "Yes we can."
The girls sat at the café for what seemed liked hours, talking about anything everything. The sense of peace each girl was feeling at the moment was soon going to be shatter once they left each other's company and went back home.
Was everything she was feeling, when she should be feeling happiness, joy, love or everything else that was an positive emotions. Not all these negative ones. She just wanted it stop, but it never will not until she made it.
She was weak and in love with the pain she felt because it was being caused by the one person who should be loving and protecting her, not hurting and blaming her. Every day. Every night. She would close her eyes and take the pain as he dealt it towards her.
'Please stop.'
'No more.'
'Why?'
Those were only a few of the thoughts that went through her mind during those painful moments. During every punch. Every kick. Every hurtful thing he would say towards her. She would take them and not show any emotion until the moment he was gone.
Every ounce of sadness and pain would come flooding out as she pick herself up from the ground and carried herself towards the bathroom. She would look at herself in the mirror and not know who was looking back at her.
Jamie Lightwood had changed during this period in her life. She wasn't the happy free-spirited girl she once was. She was now a broken lonely girl, who allowed herself to be beaten and taken advantage of.
She had thought after the first time nearly two years ago would be the last time, but it went from once to twice to every night. No matter what she did, he would hurt her in some way. She felt so ashamed that she had allowed this to happen.
Why her? Why her relationship?
Does Fate have it out for her? What had she done to deserve this kind of pain? All those questions would ran through her mind every night after each beating she would received.
This was her life and it seemed to control her.
****
The cool breeze felt nice against her heated flesh. Jamie pushed her sweaty bangs from her face and sighed. Sweat glistened across her face has she run up towards her flat. Her heart pounded against her chest.
Jamie had just come back from an two hour run. She was beyond exhausted and all she wanted was to take a shower and then take a long ass nap, but she knew once she stepped through the thrust hold of her flat, none of that was happening.
Jamie gripped the doorknob. She could feel the fear and dread coursing through her veins as she pushed the door open. Silence greeted her as she walked further into the flat. She kicked off her shoes and closed the front door quietly behind her.
"Matt?" She called through out the quiet house. Silence was her only answer as she walked further into the house.
The feeling of fear and dread started to drift from her body, being replaced by an sense of peace. Not wanting to lose this feeling, Jamie quickly headed up the stairs towards her bathroom. Wanting to take a hot shower before her boyfriend decided to show his face.
With that, Jamie hurried her pace towards the bathroom and quickly undressed before hoping into the steaming shower. She soon lost herself in the feeling of the warm water coursing down her body, that she didn't hear the front door opening and the footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Jamie?"
Her eyes shut open and her pulse soon started to quicken once she heard a voice call out her name. The sound of the bathroom door opening caused the feeling of panic to set in. She could see the silhouette of someone through the curtains as the person walked closer to her.
She pushed herself up against the cold tile wall of the shower and held her breath as she watched the curtain be ripped open. Soon brown eyes met green.
"Nay!" Jamie shouted, trying to cover herself up from the eyes of her best friend
"Sorry."
Nayja let go of the shower curtain and soon the naked body of her best friend was no longer visible to her. Jamie shut off the water and grabbed the towel that hanged right beside the tub.
"Why are you here?" Jamie questioned, wrapping the towel tightly across her body and soon open the curtain to see Nayja leaning against the sink
"I was bored and wanted to see my best friend." Nayja simply said, pushing away from the sink and followed Jamie out of the bathroom.
Jamie nodded her head and walked quickly into her bedroom, not liking of the cold air licking her wet skin. Nayja took a seat on the bed, while Jamie went into the walk in closet.
"Is there any other reason you wanted to see me?" Jamie asked, peaking her head of the closet to look at her best friend.
Nayja simply shook her head and went back to staring mindless at the wall. Jamie cocked her head to the side and waited for Nayja to look at her, but she never took her eyes off the wall. Jamie could tell there was something off about her best friend and decided to keep it to herself until Nayja said something to her.
Jamie finished getting dressed and walked out of her closet to see Nayja not staring at the wall, but her phone. She was chewing on her bottom lip and had an pained look on her face as she texted back whoever she was talking to.
"Will you like to go the café and talk?" Jamie asked, pulling her hair into an bun whistling waiting for Nayja to answer her question.
"Sure."
Jamie hummed softly to herself has she gathered up her belongings before shoving them into her purse, making sure that her cell phone was fully charged and she didn't have any missed calls nor texts.
Once everything was counted for, Jamie walked out of her bedroom with Nayja trailing behind her, still texting.
"My car or ours?" Jamie asked, reaching for her keys that were hanging next to the front door.
"Let's just walk there." Nayja said, putting away her phone in her pocket and walking out the front door with Jamie trailing behind her.
****
The smell of coffee greeted the two girls, once they had step foot into the small café. Nay looked over the semi busy room to find somewhere they can sit and talk. She spotted a place more towards the back and started walking over there with Jamie right behind her.
"So what's wrong?" Jamie asked, taking a seat across her best friend and sat her bag down by her feet.
Nay looked down at her hands before meeting the green eyes of her eager best friend. "Well last night, the most shocking thing happened." Nay said, watching as Jamie lean foreword, waiting for the rest of the story to spill from Nay's lips.
"And?" Jamie impatiently asked
Nay bit the inside of her cheek and couldn't help when an big smile to made it's way on her face. "Oli asked me to marry him!" She squealed, holding up her left hand for Jamie to see the ring resting on her ring finger.
"Oh my goddess!" Jamie exclaimed, grabbing her friend's hand to get a closer look the ring Oli had given to Nay. "I'm so happy for you." Jamie said, letting go of Nay's hand.
Happiness was what Nay truly felt for right now. Soon the glee of the engagement would soon wear off and how she was truly feeling would come to the surface. Jamie couldn't be more happy for Nay right now. A big grin made it's way across her face as she talked to Nay about how Oli proposed and when she thought they were looking at getting married.
"I'm truly happy for you, Nay." Jamie smiled, getting up and hugging Nay. Tears gather up in both girls' eyes as they pulled away from each other. "Now we can plan our weddings together." Jamie said, wiping the tears that fall from her eyes.
Nay nodded her head and pushed back the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. "Yes we can."
The girls sat at the café for what seemed liked hours, talking about anything everything. The sense of peace each girl was feeling at the moment was soon going to be shatter once they left each other's company and went back home.
