Fate & Control

Chap 2

Worthless. Pathetic. Useless.

That was all that Nayja felt as she stared down at the rose gold engagement ring on her finger.

With everything going on in her life, the last thing Nayja expected was for her boyfriend Oli to propose. They’d done nothing but fight or avoid each other for what had seemed like more than two weeks. They had gotten into a full out screaming match two days before and yesterday he’d dropped down to one knee and proposed. She’d been a mess, eyes sore and bloodshot from crying herself to sleep. Oli had proposed in the middle of her making breakfast.

Starting off a sentence with ‘we need to talk’ is never a good thing and Nay was sure that her boyfriend was ending things between them for good. The last thing she was expecting was to become someone’s fiance. But now that she was Nayja wasn’t sure if she regretted her decision, despite how much she loved Oli. Their relationship had become so toxic over the past year and she wasn’t sure if it was worth it anymore.

Despite what her boyfriend would tell her, Nay wasn’t stupid. She could smell the various perfumes that would litter his skin when he would come home late. All the times he’d say he was going out with his friends when she knew it was a lie. The lipstick stains on his shirts. She knew what all the signs pointed to but she refused to acknowledge it. Admitting that their was a problem made it real and she refused to believe that Oli would cheat on her.

As she sat in the cafe with her best friend Jamie; she couldn’t help but to periodically glance down at her phone. Even though they’d just gotten engaged it had felt as if nothing between them had changed. Before she’d left their apartment the couple had once again gotten into another agreement. Oli had called her useless and to keep from crying she’d fled the home and rushed to Jamie’s place.

Baby come home I’m sorry.

Oli had sent her a text after she’d stormed out. She had sent a simple text back stating she needed to leave and get some fresh air alone. Her fiance hadn’t liked that at all and had been texting her nonstop. She’d only responded to the first couple of texts before ignoring her phone completely. Nayja wanted to cry she was so frustrated, she’d just gotten engaged, this was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in her and yet she’d never been so miserable. She felt so low and didn’t know what to do.

She loved her fiance so much but now she wasn’t sure if she should keep on and try to make her relationship work or to call it quits. Her and Oli had been together for so long and she didn’t want to throw it all away just because they were hitting a bump in the road. As much as she tried to tell herself it was a simple bump but she knew that wasn’t the case. The uprising fame of his band had been starting to get to him. And as much as Nay tried to help him there was only so much she could do. She would always try to help him but Oli would only push her away or lash out at her instead.

Things were beginning to spiral out of control and between Oli’s rising out of control drug use and cheating, Nay just didn’t know if agreeing to marry him was a mistake. She knew that it be smarter to let him go, but she loved him to the core.

“You gonna answer that?” Jamie’s voice brought Nayja out of her thoughts.

“Huh?” she questioned looking up from her coffee.

Jamie pointed to her friend’s phone that was buzzing on the table. “Oli’s been calling you over and over, is everything okay?” he friend asked clearly concerned. Nay felt guilty for keeping her problems from her best friend but she didn’t want to be a bother. She was already a bother to her fiance she didn’t need to bother her best friend as well.

“Oh yeah, everything’s fine. He’s just overreacting over something pointless, he’ll get over it” Nay shrugged it off and tried to make it seem like it was nothing. Her friend gave her a quizzical look but decided to let it go. Instead the pair discussed what they wanted to do after they left the cafe. Nayja was trying to prolong going home as long as possible. She already knew she was in for an argument as soon as she got home.

I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, be right back.” Jamie told her suddenly before getting up and rushing to the bathroom. Nayja noticed that her friend took her phone with her as well but thought nothing of it. She used it as an opportunity to check her own phone. Her stomach turned at the sight of her lock screen.

15 missed calls, 35 texts.

She gulped and her hands started to shake as she swiped her finger against the screen. She almost shut her phone off just from the first few messages. Her fiance was pissed and she knew she was in for it when she got home.

Babe come on

I’m sorry

Don’t ignore me

Seriously?

You’re really doing this?

Nay com on?

Don’t be a bitch

Just answer the fucking phone!!!!!

God you are so worthless

I don’t mean that I love you

Why I even put with you i’ll never know

Don’t see why you’re ignoring me you’ll never find anything better

Babe, come on I need you

Nobody else would want you

I’m the best thing that will ever happen to you

I’m sorry just come home

The list of texts went on each tone sporadic and unsettling. She could tell that he was under the influence of something or he was drunk and she wanted to cry. She felt so hopeless, no matter what she did Nay couldn’t help him. It was almost like he wanted nothing to do with her. Nowadays it seemed the only times he truly gave her the time of day was when she was laying on her back underneath him.

Nayja dabbed at her eyes with a napkin when she noticed Jamie coming back from the restroom. She put her phone on silent she stuffed it in her purse. As much as wanted to rush home to her fiance, she refrained, going back now would not be a good idea and she was dreading seeing him at the moment.

“Nay are you sure everything is alright?” Jamie asked sitting down again and grabbing her coffee cup.

“Yeah, I texted Oli back and he’s fine now, so have we decided on where we’re gonna go after this?” Nay asked, trying to change the subject. Jamie gave her a look, clearly not believing that everything was alright with her friend but decided to let it go.

“Maybe we should just head to the mall and just see where it takes us from there since we both have no idea what to do?” Jamie suggested giggling at their complete lack of certainty.

She couldn’t help but to laugh along with her friend, it was nice to feel that she had some kind of freedom. She knew that was going to shatter as soon as she got home.