New: Revenge

“YOU CAN DO THIS,” Taiyo said with a smile, but I could tell he was worried. If the stiffness in the way he had his hands shoved into his ratty jeans didn’t spell “tense”, then the way he was turning his snake-bite rings with his lips and tongue was a dead giveaway. Hell, we were all worried. Well, all except Cornelius. He seemed like he could care less, honestly, moping in the hall the way he was. How could I blame him? He didn’t like Gunner and certainly didn’t like me getting closer to him. If this went well, that was exactly what was going to happen.
Maybe.
Taiyo patted my shoulder. “No worries.”
I let out a heavy breath and turned away from the small entourage that had followed me—some protesting and others solemnly quiet—and had stopped six to seven doors down from my room, not willing to go further. Which was just fine. After the crazy racket Gunner had made—so obviously still in wolf form with the way he had been the periodic growling and whining on the other side of the door—when we had tried to get the others students, it had been easy to see that there really had only been one option from the beginning: I had to go in there. Alone. And hope that he didn’t kill me out of frustration.
Oh, man, what was I getting myself into?
Remembering that this had been my fault, I squared my shoulders, ignored the breaths that were sucked in and held behind me, and strode down the hall with a confidence I did not feel. Everyone knew better than to wait and, as I stopped in front of my eerily quiet door, I heard the soft hush of them as they filed back to the common room. This could take hours or minutes on my part, but Gunner changing back could take the whole day. It all depended on me and what happened beyond the splintered wood that was now my door—and I was shaking in my borrowed sneakers.
I had no idea what to do or say to calm down a wolf. Sheree had told me that I needed to stay calm at all costs and not let my fear show. Wild animals, it seemed, liked to eat things that were afraid. I was just hoping she was wrong. Or, at least, that Gunner wasn’t in an eating mood.
I swallowed, feeling myself start to sweat. I was so screwed, but maybe—just maybe—I could salvage this situation without killing myself in the process.
Reaching out a shaky hand, I gripped the knob, held my breath, and opened the door as quietly as possible. Sneaking in, I quickly shut the door behind me and scanned the room, careful of the jagged splinters sticking out panels. The room didn’t look any different, surprisingly. The broken chair Gunner had thrown yesterday was still littering the carpet, but everything else was in place apart from the scattered pens and pencils and some papers from when I’d pushed him into the desk. I don’t know what I had been expecting when I came in, but a relatively clean room was not it.
I heard a grunt and my eyes flicked to my bed, and I nearly burst out laughing, my tension leaving in a shocking wave. There Gunner was, wolfed-out and sleeping on his back with his paws up in the air on my bed. My comforter and pillows were strewn in a haphazard circle as if he had been trying to make himself a nest and failed miserably. I didn’t know what good it would do anyway. My queen bed barely contained the giant wolf. The pillows and comforter were dwarfed under him and couldn’t possibly make it any more comfortable.
I smiled in spite of myself. Here I had been, terrified and hesitant to even come in here only to find a harmless puppy sleeping away on my pillow. I crept to the bed, trying to be quiet. Maybe he would be okay as long as I didn’t run away. That had only seemed to make things worse, and this was my fault. I knew he’d been angry and still I had pressed his buttons. It had been the same the last time he had wolf-out on me. He had gotten angry; I had gotten angry. I had run; he had chased. Apart from throwing me around a bit and pinning me to the ground and scaring the pixie dust out of me, he hadn’t actual hurt me. It had seemed as though he only wanted to make me listen—even if it had been impossible when he was a wolf. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one that was irrational.
Frowning, I took another step towards him and froze when I stepped on a pencil, snapping it in a loud crack that seemed to echo through the room. I winced at the noise and tried not to jump when Gunner tensed. He rolled over as quickly as lightning and crouched, his teeth bared as he growled at me.
But he didn’t pounce.
Swallowing down my shriek, I held up my hands in surrender, forcing myself to not back away. Readying myself for anything, I forced myself to stay calm.
Breathe. I just had to breathe.
“Gunner,” I said softly, then paused, amending, “Sweets. It’s just me: Pheobe. You wanted to talk, didn’t you?” I cleared my throat, praying that he didn’t leap off that bed like all his muscles were screaming he wanted to.
It seemed like forever passed as we stared each other down, each looking for the worst, obviously hoping for the best. Finally, he slowly sat back on his haunches, his eyes watching me with frustration and anger and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. These were the same eyes that had been staring at me the night we had danced at the Ball and the same steel-grey eyes I had wanted to let myself drown in any time we were alone. But not right now. I definitely could not afford to drown in them right now.
Dropping my arms, I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans, licking my lips. “You, uh, can’t talk like that, can you?”
Gunner just stared at me, his ears lying flat against his head. Testing, I tentatively tried to take a step forward. Almost immediately, his lips peeled back and he growled low and long, his brown fur standing on the back of his neck as his head dipped menacingly. I pulled my foot back and he sat straight again and stopped growling, but his ears stayed flat in warning.
“Okay,” I said nervously, wracking my brain for something to say. “Right. So. . . Um, why don’t I start?” God, didn’t this sound stupid? It certainly felt stupid. I wasn’t sure if talking was even going to work, but I doubted I was getting out of this room a second time if it didn’t. I doubted I was getting out of this room period. Gunner knew who I was, that was clear, and there was absolute certainty that he wouldn’t let me leave again.
Gripping my hands in front of me so I didn’t go insane from not knowing where to put them, I tried to calm my racing heart. The last thing I needed was a heart attack when no one could get to me. Not to mention that if Gunner could remember this after he changed back he would think it was his fault—not that he’d be entirely wrong. But there was no need to ad guilt to the situation. I had enough of that on my shoulders for everyone.
“About yesterday—”
He whimpered, his ears drooping as he hung his head, his eyes still on me. I was sure that it was the wolf equivalent of an apology and shame.
A little shocked at the display, I stood straighter, feeling a little more confident. Maybe this could work after all.
“Yesterday,” I continued, my voice stronger, “I hurt you.” Something flickered in his eyes and the silence that flowed around us let me know I was right. “Gunner—Sweets, I’m so sorry.” I gingerly took a step forward when his ears pricked up, grateful when he only watched me apprehensively and didn’t growl.
“I never meant to give you the impression that I don’t want you,” I told him truthfully. I took another step closer, very much aware that one wrong move could send him into a tizzy and me to the grave. I just had to make sure that I didn’t do anything stupid.
My sympathy grew as I got close enough to realize he’d been crying. The fur from the inner corners of his eyes and his muzzle was dry, but the obvious tracks from tears showed where tears had plastered it to his skin. Guilt swamped me and I hated myself. It seemed all I was doing was making him cry or just outright hurting him. Even if I didn’t mean to, it was frustrating knowing that I couldn’t take a step in any direction without finding someone’s heart under my foot. It was especially cruel when that heart was Gunner’s.
Damn it, he was my best friend. We used to laugh when we were together. What had happened to that connection? Had it been so strained since last month? I trusted him.
Didn’t I?
I watched as Gunner’s ears went flat again, making me stop and my heart slam against my ribs.
Did I trust him? Yes. I trusted him to be there for me if and when I needed him. I trusted him to be my friend, to listen and help. But I couldn’t deny that I didn’t trust him not to hurt me. I didn’t know how far his control went. I didn’t know if, when it snapped, I would end up in the Infirmary or it would be directed to someone else.
I put my hands up again. “I don’t know what I want right now,” I told him. “You guys forced me into this, and I’ve never had a relationship before. Reading books doesn’t exactly prepare you for the real thing. It’s hard, and I can’t keep up with you, Cornelius, Cade and the school at the same time. You’ve got to understand that.” I was not going to budge on the fact that I didn’t want all of this drama. They had ambushed me, used the situation to their advantage and were now grumbling with the outcome. That wasn’t fair. Not to mention it really pissed me off. If they hadn’t been prepared for what it meant to share me, then they shouldn’t have suggested it in the first place. If they couldn’t come to terms with that, then that was just too bad.
Gunner lips peeled back in irritation, but he grunted, his large head bobbing in understanding.
Good. Now if only Cornelius would stop being a spoiled baby, and Cade would stop trying so hard to get me to admit feelings that might not even exist, we might be able to get this to work somehow.
Calmer, I walked to the bed, disregarding Gunner’s growls. He wasn’t going to hurt me; I was sure of that now. And since that was true, there was no point in standing in the middle of my room like a moron.
“Scoot over,” I ordered, crawling up on the bed as he scrambled to comply, his claws scraping across the white satin. He was obviously surprised by my sudden lack of wariness, because his shuffling resulted in a few scratches in my pretty cover, but that was okay. He could stay surprised. I honestly didn’t care too much right then.
Man, I was tired. Because of this I hadn’t slept at all yesterday and had been stressed so bad worrying over the students down the hall that I felt like I had made myself sick. It had not been a good night. . Er, day. It had not helped that Cade was only happy rays of sunshine because the date had gone well, and Cornelius was stonily silent, only having muttered the occasional “so like a wolf” slander at something we had said. I was surprised Sheree hadn’t cold-clocked him, to be honest. He really was letting his mouth slip lately. I knew there was that age-old hatred between the two species, but he was asking for it. I had had a hard time not letting it get to me, too. After all, I was part wolf, too. I may be more vampire than I was wolf or pixie, but some of the things that Cornelius said just hit too deep.
I was going to have to talk to him about that, but, for now, I kicked off my shoes and settled back on the pillows, grabbing a few that had been shoved into the corner and getting comfortable. I was tired and, damn it, I was going to sleep. In my bed. If Gunner wanted to stay, he was certainly allowed, but I was done with the day and needed a new one.
Gunner stared at me until it made me uncomfortable, sitting very properly in the middle of my bed. “What?” I snapped, lifting my head to glare at him. “I spent the night in Taiyo and Elliot’s room, sharing a bed with a pixie that likes to roll and a vampire that likes to hug. I’m tired. If you’re going to complain, you can leave.”
I could have sworn he was grinning at me, his tongue lolling out of his mouth for a minute before surprising me and curling around my body, thumping his massive head onto my stomach. The air whooshed from my lungs from the unexpected weight, my body protesting his massive head. It was the big puppy eyes that he turned up at me that kept me from telling him to leave me to my corner and banishing him to the rest of the bed. Besides, he was warm and the weight was somewhat comforting—even if it was a little painful.
Wincing, I shifted to a more comfortable position, not knowing what to do with my hands. “Does this mean we’re okay?” I wheezed.
A little bark that was more like an explosive breath with sound escaped him and he watched me from one eye cautiously. I suddenly realized that, although I had forgiven him for his crazy anger-outburst, he still didn’t believe that I was sorry.
My softened, becoming worried. “I really am sorry, Sweets,” I whispered quietly.
He lifted his head and looked at me full on for a full four seconds, as if checking my sincerity, and then leaned in and rubbed his cheek against mine in a sort of dog-hug before thumping it back to my stomach. He let out a sigh, still watching me, though there was none of the wariness I had seen in the grey depths there now.
“Thank you,” I told him, putting as much sincerity into my voice as I could. Tentatively, I laid a hand on his head, feeling his fur for the first time under my fingers. It was soft and thick, warm—almost as if it had its own body. It slipped easily through my fingers and Gunner’s eyes closed as I stroked his head. I couldn’t call it petting, really. I was nervous still, for one, and, for another, he was not any type of pet I could ever see anyone owning. After all, petting was something you did to a tame animal, and Gunner was definitely not tame.
Curiosity fueled me to be bolder, I scratched behind his ears and he shifted his head towards me, his tail thumping loudly on the bed, shaking the mattress. My brows rose, suddenly feeling like I had found a new toy. I searched his head, scratching my way along its surface, finding his good spots and loving that he melted like chocolate under my touch. His foot kicked out as I found a particularly good area under his neck and ears, and I shifted through his fur, digging a little harder and faster, smiling when his foot started kicking like crazy.
“Ears are your weak spot, huh?” I asked around a yawn, fingering the raccoon tail he had always attached behind his ear. I smiled at him as he opened a sleepy eye at me. “I’ll have to remember that.”
He let out another puff of air and settled further into me as I reached down and yanked the covers over us. He was warm, sure, but it was December, and there was no way I could sleep without a comforter even with a giant wolf covering half of me.
Yawning again, I sank into my pillows and finally fell asleep, hoping somehow that tomorrow would be better.

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SOMETHING WAS HEAVY and I couldn’t breathe. It was way too hot and stuffy; I felt like I had drenched my bed in sweat. I tried to move, but found that my arms were pinned to my chest. Combing all of that together, I was one unhappy, uncomfortable girl.
Disoriented and trying not to freak out, I blinked my eyes open, blowing at my hair in a couple of useless attempts to get it out of my face, absently reminding myself again that I needed get it cut.
Hot breath fanned the top of my head in steady, even streams and I realized that Gunner was back to being human. That was both good and bad.
Good because, finally, we might be able to talk and understand each other a little better after he woke up. It also helped not to wake up to a massive wolf the size of a giant horse sharing my bed. I had a terrible feeling that, had that been the case, I would have started screaming and any progress we had made yesterday would have gone out the window.
The bad part about waking up with human Gunner came from the fact that I was held tightly in his arms, one of his hands snaking around my stomach and the other around my chest, gripping my shoulder and pinning my arms. It was very obvious he did not want me going anywhere even while we were sleeping. His legs, too, were entangled with mine, one of them sliding over my thigh and I realized that he must have taken my jeans off sometime after he had shifted back.
I bit my lip, embarrassed beyond belief. Damn it, I was only in a barrowed T-shirt Taiyo and lent me and my underwear, and here Gunner was, all tan skin and hard muscle, pressed flush and naked against my back.
I couldn’t help the flush that seemed to generate from my toes and creep up through my whole body, only increasing my already overheated body. I felt as if my ears were steaming, I was so embarrassed. I was also afraid to move. Afraid to find out what it was exactly that was pressing into my butt. I was hoping beyond hop that really was a flashlight or something equally harmless, but I had a feeling that it wasn’t. In fact, I was about ninety-nine percent sure it wasn’t. And it was scaring the hell out of me. It was huge!
I breathed in and out, trying to calm down, squeezing my eyes shut to try and block out everything. Focus. Just focus. Gunner had to wake up soon. He just had to. Until then, I would focus on something else. Anything else.
An hour passed before I couldn’t take it anymore. Somewhere along the way, Gunner had moved down my body to bury his head in my shoulder, muttering about leeches as he kept a tight hold on me. Because of his efforts, my shirt had ridden up and my stomach was now exposed, making me feel vulnerable. Even so, I at least hadn’t been able to feel. . that for a while. Small mercies were appreciated, but I had long ago lost focus.
Now, I just wanted to get some space. Though it was nice to be held, this was a comfort I wasn’t ready to allow just yet. I wasn’t even this comfortable with Cornelius—and he and I had done the nasty. Not to mention Gunner’s his raccoon tail was tickling my chin.
I cleared my throat, trying to contain my giggle as the fur tickled me and shifted, hoping my movements alone would wake him. When it was obvious that wasn’t going to work, I wriggled against him harder, making sure to jostle him.
“Gunner?” I called, trying to crane my neck to see him, but it was wasted effort. He was plastered too close to my body. “G-Gunner, please wake up.” Pretty please with sprinkles and pixie dust on top.
His cheek rubbed against mine, the little bit of stubble he had scraping my skin as he groaned. His arm around the top of my waist pulled me in tighter to him and I let out a little squeak as I realized that all that wriggling had definitely woken something up—and it was definitely not a flashlight.
“Gunner!” I exclaimed, panicking, arching my body from him. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know what else to do. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!”
My heart was pounding in my ribs when he finally groaned again and yawned, his grip loosening just a fraction before tightening again as he held me close and took a deep breath. “I love the way your hair smells,” he said, his voice gravelly from sleep. “Did I ever tell you that?”
“N-No,” I stammered, still freaking out, but better now that he was actually conscious. “Can you please let me go?”
He tensed and so did I as he slowly pulled back from my shoulder. “You don’t like me holding you?” I could hear the agitation, the hurt, in his voice, but it was the worry—as if he’d done something wrong—that had me rushing to reassure him.
“That’s not it,” I said quickly, trying to free my arms. “It’s just that I’ve been stuck in this position for over an hour waiting for you to wake up, but you didn’t, so now I’m stiff.” And I really wanted to get away from the part of him that was stiff.
A soft growl, almost like a purr, rumbled up through his chest and he shifted around me, letting me go. Immediately, I thrust my arms out and my elbows cracked in relief, making me sigh. Since I wasn’t wearing pants, I wasn’t getting out of the bed. As Gunner backed away, I turned onto my back and closed my eyes as I stretched, working out the kinks that came from being in one position for too long. I could almost hear my muscles sigh in relief as I stretched my limbs as far out as they would go before sinking into the mattress with a sigh of my own. It wasn’t till I was done that I realized that, when Gunner had moved away, he had taken the covers with him. He had, for all intents and purposes, just watched me stretch like a cat in nothing but a not-so-over-sized T-shirt that was riding up something fierce, and he looked like he had really enjoyed it. The heat in his eyes would have told me that if the tent-pole he was sporting through my ripped comforter hadn’t given him away.
Embarrassed, I tugged the hem down, my face flaming as he continued to stare as if waiting to see what I would do next. Well, he was in for disappointment. My show—whatever show it had been—was over.
“Did you mean what you said?” He asked quietly after a few moments and finally realizing that I wasn’t going to comply with his wicked thoughts. “Last night. Did you mean it when you said you wanted me?”
My eyes snapped to his, looking for the tell-tale warnings of anger, but I saw none, only hope and wariness. It was almost as if he expected me to tell him no.
I sat up, tucking my legs under me. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” I told him, hoping that he understand that I had meant everything else, too. If this was going to work, he was going to have to bend a little. Of course, so was I. I couldn’t keep ignoring them. We were going to have to come up with a compromise, or a schedule or something.
He exhaled, as if he had been holding his breath, and nodded, his head propped up on a hand as he lay on his side. He seemed relieved and I sensed that something had changed between us somehow. Thankfully, it seemed for to have changed for the better.
He reached out and touched my too-long hair, rubbing the strands between his fingers, a gentle smile on his face. “You’re not scared of me anymore.” His voice held wonder and I blinked in shock, his words hitting me hard.
Holy purple daisies, he was right. I hadn’t flinched away from him and I couldn’t find any trace of fear towards him that I had had yesterday. Somewhere between yesterday, sleep, and waking, I had lost the distrust and fear I had held so close. I just wasn’t scared of him anymore. Or, at least, I wasn’t afraid that he would hurt me, anyway. The only thing I was afraid of was that blanket slipping down too low and revealing parts of him I wasn’t sure I wanted to see. He was scrumptious, certainly, and the comforter was hugging him in all the right places just a tad on the low side to reveal all of that glorious muscle and scarred, golden skin, but I wasn’t ready to see what came after that. Not yet, anyway.
I smiled genuinely, pulling my thoughts from the gutter, relieved just as much as he was. Things could go back to normal now, thank the stars. I was so tired of my life being messed up. Oh, sure, it was still wrecked something horrible, but this was a start. A very nice start.
I took his hand, turning it over to study the palm and fingers. His hand was big and strong; safe. “I guess so.” I looked back up at him, my smile huge, before flopping back on the pillows, laughing. “God, that’s such a relief.” Things would be fine now. Everything would be okay. One step at a time, that’s all it took. I just needed to take it slow and work things out. I should listen to Soren more often.
Still smiling, I reached up and touched the raccoon tail, rubbing it between my fingers in much the same way as he had my hair. “I missed you,” I said softly, my eyes meeting his. And I had. It had been lonely with a wall of fear and distrust between us. Not to mention it had been damn annoying.
He laid his hand on mine, his cheeks flushing and his voice gruff. “Did you? Really?”
My hand moved to his hair and he leaned down so I could reach it better. It was flat now, no hint of spikes or that weird, soft gel he used. I guessed the shift had nullified it somehow, but I still wasn’t sure on the physics behind a shift considering I couldn’t do so myself. His hair was soft like his fur, sweeping low across forehead in severely jagged lines, parting in the middle and falling in his eyes and hiding two of the three scars that marred the sides of his handsome face.
“Yeah,” I answered, flipping his hair this way and that. “I like your hair like this.”
He cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed as he frowned. “I like it spiked.” He pulled back, out of reach, and shook his hair so it fell back into its natural part instead of the full-forward I had made it do.
“I can see that.” I smirked at him. “You look like a puppy without them.”
He grunted, but I could see the hint of a smile behind the disgruntled pout. He eyed my own locks. “Are you going to cut your hair?”
I frowned, picking up the block of white that I could never get rid of or dye thanks to a witch. “I want to. I never had long hair before, so it’s kind of annoying in this middle-stage of being not-too-short/not-too-long.” I flicked my eyes to him. “Hospital, you know. Mom didn’t let me grow it out. It got in the way. I wouldn’t know what to do with long hair and I’m not sure if it would look good on me.”
He reached out to finger the strands again, his eyes serious as they held mine. “You’re beautiful, Pheobe. Anything would suit you.”
I flushed, sitting up again and not looking at him. “Thanks. But, um, could you say that when you have clothes on?” I shot him a suspicious look. “And why the hell did you take my pants off?”
He sat up, the comforter pooling around his hips so I got an even better look at the smooth, tan, and lean muscle that made up Gunner’s sculpted torso. I had to physically stop myself from drooling. How in the hell had he managed a tan in the middle of Winter?
“You seemed hot,” he said, trying to seem innocent, but the gruffness in his voice belied any innocence he might have gotten away with. It especially didn’t help that he eyed my legs like they were steaks and he was very, very hungry. “And I’m a wolf. Skinship is a major part of who we are. We like the feel of another close to us.”
“But I’m not a wolf,” I pointed out, trying not to shift under his stare.
He shot me a glare. “You’re not a vampire, either. Or a pixie. And yet you gravitate to their desires like a wolf to the Moon.”
Uh-oh. We were back to this again.
I sighed, rubbing my forehead. Maybe he didn’t understand. Maybe he just wanted me to understand. Things couldn’t work that way. “Gunner, listen to me, okay? I treat you all different because you are different. I can’t do the same things I do with Cornelius or Cade with you. Just like I can’t do everything I do with you with them. It’s just not possible and it’s rude. I don’t want to share the same memories I have with you with them. It’s just wrong. And just because I’m their girlfriend, doesn’t mean I’m not yours.” I pinned him with serious eyes. “You’re the one who agreed to this, dragging me along behind you, so man up.” Smiling a little, I patted his hand, which had fisted in his lap. He gave me jealous and frustrated eyes. “I’m sure we can work this out somehow. I’m trying, but you have to try too, okay?”
His hand unclenched and he let out a breath as he flipped it over, lacing his fingers through mine. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try.”
I leaned over and kissed his cheek, surprising him. “That’s all I’m asking.”
Scooting off the bed, I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on quickly, embarrassed because I knew he was watching.
“You stay there,” I ordered, shuffling backwards towards the door. “I’m gonna go find Hayden and have him get you some clothes.” As I reached the door, I frowned, turning back to look at him. “By the way, Sweets.” I gave the nickname enough sarcasm to let him know I was peeved, but it wouldn’t change anything. He responded with innocent eyes, knowing he was trouble. “If I ever wake up with you naked again and it wasn’t pre-planned, I’ll make sure you’re farting pixie dust for a week.”
His face twisted in a weird smile and then he laughed, obviously imagining it as I closed the door behind me and went in search of Hayden.
I sighed, smiling to myself as I walked back out to the common room and looked around. It was eight in the evening, so everyone should have been here, but it was empty.
Frowning, I walked further into the giant room, not spotting anyone from my group. Not spotting anyone at all, actually. They must be in the Mess, eating.
I turned towards the door to leave in search of Hayden and leapt back in surprise, yelping as I hit the back of a couch and nearly toppled over it.
“Jeez, Cornelius!” I exclaimed, glaring at him as I stood up straight again, smacking my thighs. He was always sneaking up on me, and my patience with him was already wearing thin, I didn’t need to ad spontaneous shocks to that. “Stop doing that! You know my heart can’t take it.”
I gripped the back of the couch as he came close, leaning over me in the lordly way only he knew how to do. He inhaled deeply, his nose wrinkling in distaste. His eyes were red, but that wasn’t anything new; his eyes had been red for days. I didn’t know if that was the chip he had been perpetually carrying on his shoulder or if it was because he wasn’t getting enough blood, but I didn’t really want to be on the receiving end of either one of those moods right now.
“You smell like the wolf,” he spat accusingly. “I don’t like that.”
I glared at him, wanting to push him away, but thinking better of it. Pushing away the men in my life hadn’t been the best of choices lately.
“Deal with it,” I told him instead. “It’s only to be expected since we spent the night together.” I could leave out sleeping in the same bed. It would just piss him off. “You knew that once I went into that room, I wasn’t coming out until he changed back.”
I edged around him, wanting to leave. Gunner was waiting for clothes, after all, and I really didn’t want to say something to make Cornelius’s obviously bad mood worse.
“Where are you going?” Cornelius asked quietly, grabbing my arm in a painfully tight grip. “I want to know what happened.”
Nervous and angry, I pulled my arm from his grasp, but not without knowing that I was going to have a few bruises later. “It’s none of your business.” And it wasn’t. What happened between Gunner and me was between us and no one else. Just as what happened between Cornelius and me was between us. That wasn’t going to change.
He hissed at me. “It is my business!” He spun me around, holding me by my shoulders and slamming me back against the couch so it scooted across the floor a few inches. “You’re mine.” He shook me, his eyes angry, demanding me to listen, to obey. “Do you understand?”
I gritted my teeth, pissed, and shoved at him. I may not have wanted to result to shoving away my boyfriends again, but he had started it. Not that it made any difference. Even with my more-than-human strength, Cornelius was ten times stronger than I was and didn’t move an inch. “I am not an object!” His hands tightened and I struggled to get loose. When it was obvious that he wasn’t going to let go, I glared at him. “Let me go. I’ll scream.”
His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed, hurt and ill intent flashing through them. “Then let me help give you a reason to.”
Sucking in a breath as I realized what he was going to do, I fought him, kicking and hitting him, writhing trying to get free, but it was too late. Like a snake and as quick as lightning, Cornelius struck out, his mouth latching onto my throat and his fangs sinking deep.
I froze for an instant in shock. Part of me had thought that he wouldn’t do something so callous anymore. Not to me. That he wouldn’t treat me like someone he needed to train or teach a lesson to. I hoped that he wouldn’t, but Cornelius had a habit of proving me wrong. I screamed, pain lacing through every fiber of my being as he ruthlessly took way the option of a pleasure bite. My veins felt like they were on fire and I clawed at his back and hands, drawing blood and pulling at his hair to try and get him off somehow. All the while, I continued to scream. There was nothing else to do. Even as I kicked and punched him, he didn’t move or budge, his long pulls of my blood causing such intense pain that I couldn’t hold back the tears that were streaming down face as he bent me backwards over the couch.
My eyes were squeezed shut when relief finally came, so I had no idea what exactly happened, but, when I opened them—my vision blurry and spotted—Gunner was there, a towel around his waist and holding Cornelius off the ground by throat as if he weighed nothing. His canines were extended and he was growling loudly, his eyes glowing menacingly. In the distance, I heard footsteps.
I crumpled to the floor, my knees giving out and my limbs feeling unbearably weak. I heaved in giant gulps of air as I tried to staunch the bleeding from my neck, feeling sick as I tried not to sob.
But damn it all, I had to stop Gunner. He was squeezing Cornelius’s neck so hard I could see the bruises forming on his skin even as he struggled to breathe. He was killing him! And stupid Cornelius wasn’t even trying to fight back. What the hell was wrong with him? He was just hanging there, his eyes gold and his face red as he watched me with such sadness I almost started crying again.
I gathered what strength I had left in my limbs and scrambled off the floor, rushing to Gunner, laying a shaking hand on his arm as Cornelius tried to breathe past the hand squeezing his throat.
“Gunner,” I wheezed, my throat raw from screaming. It was, unfortunately, a familiar sensation to talk past my heavy tongue and dry throat. “Let him go. Please.”
His eyes, gold in anger, flicked to me and he shook Cornelius. “The leech was trying to kill you.”
I shook my head. “I-I think he just went berserk.” I glanced at Cornelius. A tear was leaking from his eye as he watched me and his teeth were clenched. His face was turning purple. The guilt I could see there in the golden depths was what pushed me to fight for him.
“Sweets, please!” I begged. I had no idea if Cornelius had lost it from lack of blood or what, but I didn’t think Gunner would let him go for any other reason. Besides, something in the limp way that Cornelius hung in Gunner’s grip made me think that Cornelius hadn’t meant what he had done—just the same way Gunner hadn’t meant to wolf out. It had just happened.
“Pheobe,” someone said softly, and I turned to see Cade and everyone else standing there, staring at me with wide, slightly scared eyes.
It was Soren that had said my name, a worried look on his face as he took in the scene. “What happened?” he asked, but I had a feeling he could tell just by looking at the sorry state of the three of us.
I shook my head, turning back to look at Gunner. He had loosened his hold on Cornelius only fractionally, but it was enough.
“Please,” I tried, and his arm lowered, his eyes flicking to mine, worried. His hair was wet and his skin glistened with water. He must have been taking a shower. God, I couldn’t even imagine the panic he must have felt when he suddenly heard me scream. “He didn’t mean it,” I repeated. “Let him go.”
Cornelius’s feet touched the ground, but Gunner still had his throat. Slowly, I watched his eyes fade to grey, but they still held an unhealthy amount of gold. He growled at Cornelius. “He hurt you,” Gunner said again, talking to me as if I didn’t understand.
I swallowed, wishing I had some water. “I know, but you of all people ought to know what it’s like to lose control.” That got him to look at me with guilt and I started to feel dizzy, pressing a hand to my bleeding neck. Cornelius had bitten too deep and I was losing a lot of blood. “And so do I. Please, Sweets. For me.”
Gunner made a frustrated sound and dropped him, engulfing me in a hug as Constantine rushed forward to grab his master before he hit the ground. He didn’t make it in time, of course, and Constantine was soon picking Cornelius off the floor. Soren was at my side in a moment, prying Gunner away and turning my head enough to see the bite.
“That’s bad,” Soren told me, his eyes narrowing in anger and upset. He grimaced. “There’s only one way to heal a deep bite, and you’re not going to like it.”
I gave him a suspicious look as he pressed a cloth someone had obvious had the forethought to grab from the kitchen to my neck. It was damp and cool and I sighed in partial relief. “Why?”
He gave me a sheepish smile that belied the tension in him. “I have to bite you.”
Gunner growled, his hand tightening on mine possessively. Constantine was busy dragging a too-quiet Cornelius to a chair in the corner, where the head vampire sat staring at his hands in slight horror and shock as Constantine tried to talk to him, whispering in a voice too low to hear.
Soren raised a hand to calm Gunner. “I have to get my saliva into the wound or she’ll bleed internally.”
“That’s gross,” Taiyo said, his nose wrinkling, but I could tell he was worried. Although he of all people would know that what Soren was saying was true.
I closed my eyes, feeling weak as I started to shake all over from the blood loss. “Do what you have to.”
I felt him pull the cloth away and my eyes flashed open. I put hand on his chest, stalling him, uncomfortable. “Wait.”
He frowned, the worry apparent as he eyed my neck. “What is it?”
He was way too eager about this, and that’s what I was afraid of, because the way his eyes glowed with eagerness wasn’t just about his want to heal me. Soren had told me once that the blood of the person you love is intoxicating—that nothing else compared to it. That everything else tasted like ash. That kind of intimacy between him and I was not something I wanted anyone to know or witness. For my sake and for Soren’s.
“I want everyone out,” I said firmly, looking around the room. They all looked at me with equal surprise and concern and I turned to Gunner as he growled. Jade and Cade’s wings hummed in shocked agitation, their unwillingness to leave me alone with another vampire apparent.
I patted my wolf’s hand, but let it go, my smile strained. “Nothing personal, but I’ve had enough.” I was done with coping with the jealousy, done with trying to please everyone today. I wasn’t going to be able to handle that on top of Soren’s desire.
Standing, I pointed to the door, my hand shaking, but my gravelly voice firm. “Out.”
Stunned and confused, they shuffled out, muttering as Colleen dragged Cade along. She understood, and, for that, I was grateful.
I turned, scowling at Constantine and Cornelius still in the corner. I walked to them as Soren pretended to ignore us, going to sit on the couch, his hands fidgeting as he elegantly rearranged the cuffs on his shirt that were already perfect.
I stared down at the top of Cornelius’s head, angry and hurt. I felt like he had treated me lower than an ant. I felt used and shut out and so mad I could barely see straight. He had blood-raped me and I wasn’t going to play victim. Hell, no. I was fucking pissed. “Out,” I hissed and I watched in mild satisfaction as he flinched.
His head turned up slowly and he fixed guilty and sad, golden eyes on mine. “Pheobe—” he tried, his voice tight.
“No,” I interrupted, slicing a hand through the air. I didn’t look at him, turning away. He had hurt me intentionally. If that wasn’t cause for anger, I didn’t know what was. If he had wanted to pout and be angry and not talk to me for the last two weeks without a reason, then that was his choice. But he had just handed me the means to not talk to him. It was a reason I was going to use to the fullest. “Just get out.”
I didn’t wait for him to go, knowing he would anyway, since Constantine was pulling him out of his seat and through the door. Instead, I walked—a little wobbly, I’ll admit—to Soren and stood awkwardly in front of him. I heard the dorm’s door shut and I blushed, suddenly realizing the situation as my attention focused solely on the vampire in front of me. We were alone. Again. We were alone again. The last time we had been alone, I had broken this beautiful man’s heart.
His mismatched eyes stared into mine, so gentle, so warm that almost drowned. “It would be easier if you sat on my lap,” he told me with a soft, understanding smile, “but you don’t have to.”
I shook my head as much to clear it as to tell him that I was okay. “No. That’s fine.” I just had to remind myself that this wasn’t sexual. It wasn’t for fun or pleasure or love. It was for healing only. I just had to keep repeating that and this would be okay.
Letting out a breath, I placed my knee on the cushions and swung a leg over his thighs, slowly lowering myself onto his lap. I licked my lips, nervous as I tilted my head to offer him my bleeding neck.
He slid his hands up my arms and I could feel the love there, the gentleness that he offered without wanting anything in return. It made me feel like I was using him.
“It’s alright, Phebes,” he whispered, his voice washing over me like warm silk as it caressed my skin. “I won’t do anything.”
My eyes flicked to his and I blushed, feeling like a jerk. He and I had a history of bad bites and out-of-control feelings, but I trusted him now. He had had time to adjust, to learn to control it and I knew that, deep down, Soren would never want to hurt me—be it physically or emotionally—and that would stop him when nothing else did. “Yeah. I know.”
He smiled and kissed my cheek. It was a slow, lover-like kiss that had his nose dragging back against my skin as whispered in my ear, “Just relax.”
I had no choice but to listen. Although I knew Soren wasn’t using his hypnosis powers, I was always relaxing around him lately, and this time was no different. I felt my body ease in to him, my muscles becoming almost liquid, but I couldn’t help it when they stiffened as he inhaled right below my ear, his hands wrapping around my back even as his lips dragged along the broken skin of my neck.
“I missed this,” he murmured longingly.
I opened my mouth to warn him that that wasn’t what that was about, but I felt his fangs slip into the holes Cornelius had created and I gasped. The holes widened to compensate for Soren’s longer, thicker fangs and I moaned in slight pain. Pleasure flooded me, erupting as soon as his fangs slid all the way inside and I let it come, but I hadn’t been prepared for the amount or the force with which it hit me. Within a second, my body was humming like a finely tuned chord, waiting for Soren’s touch to play me, but his hands remained firmly at my back. I tried to remember that, if it wasn’t for the bite, I wouldn’t feel this way, but it was hard. God, it was so hard.
My hands had found their way into Soren’s hair by the time he took the first pull on my blood, and they tightened as I gasped again. Lightening shot through me and to my core and I cried out. This was different than any other bite so far, and I tried to remember that this was for healing and nothing else, that I didn’t really want this. But this bite was far more potent. I could barely think, barely breathe, let alone tell myself something as stupid as not wanting the vampire in my arms.
Jesus, this could become addicting.
All too soon, Soren pulled away, licking the holes and pulling back to face me, his eyes shining a deep red in desire and his face flushing with healthy glow. His lips were stained with my blood and I didn’t stop him when he swept forward and kissed me, sinking his tongue into my mouth with a desperation that made me whimper.
He held me tightly against him as he kissed me, the taste of my blood mixing with the sultry spice I had come to recognize as Soren. I relished in it, let myself get lost in it, not noticing until now how I had actually missed him this way, how perfect we fit together, how much he did for me and how little I gave back.
But, like the bite, he pulled away abruptly, and was gone in a flash, disappearing out the door and leaving me on the couch. Alone.
As I stared at the empty door as it swung closed from where I had suddenly been sprawled on the couch, I tried to calm my pounding heart. I let my head drop onto the cushions, tracing my lips with tingling fingers.
Soren had tried, I knew that. He had tried to keep his word, but all of that effort had been blown away when he had taken my blood. I could see now how easily he could get swept away by it, by me. I could see it in the way he had run from me before he did something we both regretted—before I let him do something we might both regret. But, the thing was, I couldn’t find it in me to blame him. Not for the kiss, not for the words or the way he held me. I couldn’t even find it in me to know that I would regret it if we had gone further.
The realization hit me like a fist to the gut, leaving me breathless. Holy daisies, I wouldn’t have regretted going further with Soren. The thought, the knowledge of that was so huge that I had to take a few deep breaths as I tried not to panic.
I glanced towards the door again, towards the vampire that had just run away and left me with more than just dizziness from blood-loss. No. He had left me with something far more dangerous:
The realization that maybe I had made a mistake when I had turned Soren down.