So Far Away

"I'm sorry to inform you Mrs.Haner but you have cancer." The doctor spoke as i tried to take in his words. The look on my face must have said it all, I was terrified the love of my life had cancer she could die. It wasn't fair.
"Brian I'm going to be fine, I can fight this and win baby." Alex spoke she sounded calm and determined but I know that was just an act. She was trying to make me feel better but when i looked into her eyes i knew she was just as scared as i was.
"We can start you on kemo next week." Alex and I agreed and the doctor set her an appointment for the up coming week. We drove home in silence neither of us knew what to say. I looked over at Alex she had her head down playing with her wedding band. I watched her as i put the car into park as we arrived at our home. A tear escaped from her eyes and dropped down on her ring. My heart shattered then and there.
"Baby," she said looking up at me her make up was starting to run but she still looked beautiful. "I'm going to die Brian." she whispered and broke down into sobs i got out of the car and picked her up caring her bridal style into our home.
"No Alex your not going to die your going to live through this I know you will your strong your going to be ok." I held her in my arms and started to cry as well i wanted to believe what i just told her was true, but for some reason i just didn't and it killed me.
*2 years later*
I stood in the closet throwing clothes into my suit case. This is our first tour in two years. We stopped touring once Alex got cancer so I could take care of her and the rest of the guys wanted to be there for her as well. As of 3 months ago Alex is completely cancer free and i couldn't be happier. I wish she could come on tour with us but she still has to go to the doctors and such. She insists I go on without her before the fans hate her even more. Those being her exact words. I walked out of the closet having finished packing my clothes from the closet to see Alex sitting on the bed smiling softly. "What are you so smiley about?" I ask walking over to her and pulling her into a hug "You should be sad that I'm leaving you for 7months."
"I'm smiling because you finally came out of the closet. And I am sad your leaving I'll miss you." She smiled more and giggled.
"Hey! was that a gay joke? because I defiantly am not gay. You of all people should know that." I smiled and winked at her which just made her laugh even harder. "I'll miss you too so much baby." She smiled and kissed me deeply.
"Well at least you'll have tonight to remember while your gone." She gave me one of her sexy smirks and i had to bite my lip.
"Oh really?" I asked smirking back.
"Yep." She said smiling and getting up from my lap making me frown. "I'm going to make dinner while you finish your packing." She smiled at me and blew me a kiss and leaving the room. I stood up and want to get some things from the dresser then want into the bathroom to pack my bathroom stuff. Within about half an hour I was totally done. I walked out of the bathroom and into Alex and my bedroom. I sighed frowning slightly as I released that Alex and I wouldn't be sleeping next to each other for the next seven months. I walked out of the bedroom flipping off the light and heading down stairs. When i hit the bottom stair i smiled and followed the delicious smell that was filling my nose. I of course ended up in the kitchen. I smiled as I saw Alex standing by the stove I walked over and wrapped my arms around her kissing her neck.
"Smells amazing babe." Alex was an amazing cook I'm so going to miss this while I'm gone I thought to myself.
"Thanks babe, give it like 10 minutes and dinner will be done. I made your favorite." She smiled. She always did love cooking for me and I always loved eating it. She's the reason Zacky got fat. I laughed out loud and Alex just looked at me she knew what I was thinking.
"I'm not the reason Zacky is a chubster!!" She laughed and i laughed harder.
"I wasn't thinking that babe." I said smiling at her holding back my laughter, She raised an eyebrow at me knowing i was lying. "Okay maybe I was. But we cant help that your a good cook." I said kissing her and walking over to the frig to get a drink. Alex brought two plates and sat them on the table. I smiled when i saw that she made chicken Marsiella. An hour later we were done eating and I was helping Alex but the dishes in the dishwasher. I wrapped my arms around her and carried her into the living room she giggled and smiled at me. She made me feel all warm and fuzzy i know that sounds lame but its true I was so in love with this girl. She planted a kiss on my lips that made my heart beat like a drum. I carried her into the bedroom and sat her on the bed she pulled me into her and kissed me with such passion and lust. I kissed her back with even more. Next thing I know clothes started flying and it was on.
*6am Friday morning*
I rolled over and groaned I hated this having to leave so early. I opened my eyes and expected to see Alex but i didn't I sat up and then i smelled it. Bacon. "God Alex your amazing" I said out loud getting up from the bed and putting on a pair of boxers. I walked down the stairs and heard voices in the kitchen. The boys were here, of course they were 7months without Alex's amazing cooking, of course they would be here. I made a stop in the laundry room and grabbed a tee shirt and slipped it on before I want into kitchen. The guys and Alex were all sitting around the table eating waffles, bacon, eggs, sausage and biscuits. Alex went all out but she expected the guys to show up. I walked into the kitchen and Alex was the first to see me she jumped up and gave me a huge hug and kiss.
"Morning Sleeping beauty." She whispered in my ear.
"Syn! Why did you have to get with Alex first? Its not fair that you get to eat like this all the time! Alex! divorce Syn and marry me!" Jimmy whined and the room erupted in laughter.
"Hmm, I don't know I'll have to think about it." Alex said winking at me.
"Hell no if she's going to marry anyone other then Syn its defiantly me!" Zacky replied crossing his arms over his chest.
"Fuck no everyone knows it would be me! I've been best friends withs Alex since kindergarten!" Matt said giving all the guys an evil glare.
"Well if anything Alex is stuck with me forever since she's my cousin." Johnny stated shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth.
"If anything I don't think Alex would leave me for any of you. I am the sexiest out of all of you." I said with a cocky grin. Alex doubled over in laughter.
"Yeah right." Jimmy, Zacky, and Matt all said at the same time starting an all out verbal fight about who Alex would be with is she ever left me. I just stood back and watched with my arms around Alex's waist. Two hours later we were on the bus and I was waving good bye to Alex. She blew me a kiss and waved she had tears in her eyes but wouldn't let them fall i knew she wouldn't want me to see them.
*2months later* (Alex POV)
I sat in the doctors office waiting to get my results to make sure the cancer hadn't come back. I played with my wedding band like I always did when I was nervous. I missed Brian I hadn't seen him in 2months since he left for tour. We talk everyday though and he texts me all the time but its still not the same. I wish I could have went with the boys I normally do and will be able to again after this tour. "Mrs. Haner the doctor will see you now." I looked up taken from my thoughts to see a smiling nurse in pink scrubs. I stood up and followed her into a room i took a seat in one of the chairs and waited. Two minutes later the doctor walked in with a grim look on his face.
"Mrs. Haner. I'm sorry but your cancer has come back and spread rapidly thought out your body. I don't know if there is anything we can do." My mouth fell open and my vision started to fog up. I felt the moister leak onto my cheeks.
"H-how long do I have?" I stuttered, looking up into his eyes.
"'I'm not sure but we need to start you on kemo immediately. Come in tomorrow and we will start you." All I could do was nod. I didn't know what to do I couldn't call Brian, I couldn't tell him yet. He was only two months into tour and Avenged needed to tour the fans needed them and I couldn't be selfish and call him back. I just couldn't do it. I'll just have to tell him when he gets back I know I'll make it till at least then. I'll just pretend that everything is okay.
*3month later*(3rd person)
Alex sat down in the kitchen her sister Selene had come to take care of her while she went though kemo again. Alex made her swear not to tell Brian or anyone else for that matter. And so far Selene has kept her promise. "I'm feeling a bit tired. I think I'm going to take a nap." Alex said standing up. She had been sick from the kemo for a week now.
"Okay, call me if you need me." Selene said. Alex nodded and walked up the stairs to her and Brian's room She laid down on the bed and covered up closed her eyes and went to sleep.
Selene sat in the living room watching tv it had been 5 hours since Alex went up for a nap. She should have woken up by now Selene thought. She climbed the stairs and knocked on Alex's door. No answer. Selene walked into the room and saw Alex just laying there, Selene called out her name and got no answer. Alex wasn't breathing and she was as cold as ice. Selene screamed out tears leaking down her face. She picked up the phone and called 911. Within an hour the medics had arrived and pronounced Alex dead. Selene bawled her eyes out and got no sleep that night she knew that in the morning she would have to call Brian and tell him that Alex was gone. Selene picked up the phone and dialed Brian's cell number.
"Hello?" Brian answered the phone. It took all Selene had not to break down right there.
"Brian it's Selene. You need to come home now. Alex is gone." Selene said her voice cracking.
"What do you mean gone?!" Brian said panic filling his voice.
"The cancer came back 3 months ago, Alex begged me not to tell you she didn't want you to have to worry about her and come home from tour. She went up to take a nap and then i went to check on her, and and she wasn't breathing!" Selene said breaking down into full on sobs.
(Brian's POV)
"No no!" I screamed throwing my phone at the wall. Alex cant be dead she cant be this isn't real.
"Whoa whats going on?" Matt said walking into the bunks.
"Alex's cancer came back. and she's dead!" I screamed breaking down and putting my head in my hands. Matt fell beside me shocked the rest of the guys came back into the bunk and I told them. We turned the bus around right there. We were in Arizona heading to Phoenix for a show. Hours later we were back in Huntington Beach at the hospital in the morgue with Alex.
*2days later*
I stood next to Alex's casket in the graveyard my head in my hands. Matt's arm was around me and the rest of the guys were right next to me. The priest was talking and praying for Alex. "Mr. Haner, would you like to say a few words?" He asked me. I looked up and nodded I put my hand on Alex's coffin a tear leaving my eye.
"Sleep tight, I'm not afraid
The ones we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me
Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away
I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you
When it lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are untied
I love you Alex. I always will. Rest in Piece my love."