Deceitful Star

“I’m glad it turned out this way.” I heard my sister whisper to Josh on the way home. I let them think I had my ipod in and I couldn’t hear them. I normally wasn’t an eavesdropper but this time I couldn’t help it.

“What do you mean?” He looked over his shoulder at me, I pretended to be asleep, and then back at her.

“Think, Josh, if the Avalanche had lost she might have been totally crazy. I mean especially after that game tying goal. She’d be insufferable.”

“True,” he sighed “Still I don’t know how James will deal.”

“Did you give him forewarning?”

“Ha, yes of course. I cannot imagine if we just stuck them in a room and let her jaw fall. Seriously, Cas, with Sydnee she’ll either worship or hate…”

“Definitely hate, Josh. If they lost there would be no helping it. She’s hated everything to do with them since she was little.” I watched her move her hair out of her eyes with her finger before continuing. My sister’s classic move. “Sometimes I think she’s never going to grow up, ever. She acts like she’s three one day and 7 the next. Never 23 like she should be. It’s getting on my nerves a little.”

“I disagree. She’s pretty serious when she needs to be. Cassy, I think you just need to give her a chance. No matter what happens tonight, they will deal with each other. It’s our wedding and our time to be happy.”

“Yeah.” My sister smiled and looked at him. “You’re right. I just wish it’d be easier.”

“We could give Claire her chance.” He said teasingly.

“Ugh, no, if it was up to her she’d be running the whole operation.” They both laughed and stayed silent until Josh woke me up when we got home.

“Ok ladies, you need to get out of game gear then head over to the main house. It’ll be time for the main party to work out what we’re going to do and how entrances will work.”

“Yes, Sydnee I need you to talk to James about what music you guys will dance to with us after the first few dances when it’s just the party.”

“Uh, ok.” I nodded making a mental list.

“Also, how will you two match for the wedding? Josh and I are letting you two pick instead of picking for you. Like will his tie match your dress or same flowers or something? You’ll figure something out. Also we need to pick teams for the wedding party bonding day.” She laughed and Josh groaned. “Hey! It’s a tradition in my family so we’re going to do it. You and I have to be on separate teams, but I’m thinking boys against girls would be unfair.”

“I think we get it. Maybe we should talk about this with everyone?” I asked, saving Josh from an argument over our stupid family traditions.

“Yeah, that sounds…” Josh’s phone beeped. “Hey he’s here, so let’s get a move on ok?” he kissed my sister on the cheek before telling us to hurry up again.

Cassy lead the way and unlocked the door of the house while Josh walked toward the main house. I went in my room and hung up the jersey in the closet. Cassy then attacked me with a brush and tried to fix my face. I swatted at her but resistance is futile to an older sister, it’s a fact of life. She pulled my hair up before rattling about manners. I stood there rolling my eyes. I watched her in the mirror as she made many of my lighter freckles disappear and my dark eyes looked wider. Makeup magic by Cassy.

“Ok, are we good?” She asked me.

“Cassy, I get this is important to you but why do you insist I look like a model or whatever when we go over there?”

“Just because it’s important to me.” She smiled and ushered me out the door. She told me more about the wedding on the way to the house. The lights in the trees. The music and how excited she was for our dress shopping adventure tomorrow. “I can’t believe it’s actually happening.” She was smiling and I could see she was truly happy. That’s when I decided I’d be the best maid of honor I could be. I wouldn’t ruin it for her.

“Yeah, tomorrow will be fun.”

“How much do you know about the Dallas Stars?”

“What? That’s an odd question.”

“Like, do you know their players?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Oh, well that’ll make introductions easier…” she whispered and knocked on the door of the house. Josh opened it and smiled at us.

“There’s my girl!” He hugged Cassy and let us in. A tall figure was talking to John. Dark brown messed hair was all I could really see. “James, you’ve met Cassy already but here’s your girl for the next couple of weeks, Sydnee.” The tall guy turned to look at me.

“Oh my gosh.” I whispered when he turned all the way around.

“Hey,” he smiled and I was speechless. “I’m James Neal, Sydnee, sure you heard of me?”

“Yeah…” I said still in shock. His unique gray eyes were watching me. “You’re…”

“Yeah, I know, Josh told me you...”

“You’re the asshole who scored.” Cassy gasped and the rest of the room laughed.

“Yeah, that was me.” He said shooting me a cocky smile. “Close game.”

“Sydnee!” Cassy screamed at me.

“It’s fine.” He said laughing still. “Got a question for you Sydnee, if you’re an Avalanche fan why do you share a name with a Pittsburg player?” I felt my eyes get smaller as I glared at him.

“Oh, and James is so original?”

“Ok,” Josh interrupted and pushed the two of us away from each other. I hadn’t noticed how in my face he had gotten, how close we had been. “You two need to drop the claws and get along.”

“I never said anything mean.” James said with a smirk. I held back a few nice words.

“Dude, whatever. You two have a huge list of things you have to do including your joint project which you two need to discuss in private.” Josh slammed an envelope at James who took it and looked inside it.

“Joint project?” I looked at my sister. She sighed.

“Yes, like in the movies Sid, either a video or speech or something. You have to do a toast, no getting out of that one.”

“Sid?” James looked at me.

“Oh, should I call you Jim?” I snapped back and Josh snickered. James arched his eyebrow and handed me the envelope.

“Look, I don’t want to have to go into the room you two are working in and break up a fight but I will if I have to.”

“Fight? Nah, she can’t take me.” James laughed, watching me for a reaction. “Hockey guy, remember?”

“Well I can’t fight you but I can make these next few weeks pretty miserable.” I said as I looked through the papers. There were song selections, colors, flowers, project ideas, and instructions.

“No you won’t Sydnee. You’re going to make these next few weeks wonderful.” My sister hissed at me. I shrunk back.

“Ok.” I whispered weakly.

“You can use Ruth’s study for your work room and you will work… nicely.” My sister said and Josh’s mother appeared.

“Alright dears, I’ll show you the way. James you already know where this room is but I think I may need to secure some valuables.” She winked at me then whispered in my ear, “He’s very handsome, that boy, won’t you admit? Don’t hit his face if you must.” I stood stunned by her words before following them. He smiled and talked very nicely to her all the way up the stairs and to the study. She smiled and told us to be good before closing the door.

“Well, where to start?” he sat down on the couch in the room. It was bigger than I thought, but simple. There was a bookcase, fireplace, a few couches, along with the desk and computer. I tossed him the envelope which he, of course, caught. He opened it and pulled out some of the papers. He leafed through them and his face was immediately confused.

‘He’s very handsome, that boy, won’t you admit?’ Ruth’s voice in my head had crept into my thoughts as I watched him. He ran his hand through his hair as he read.

“What?” he looked up at me. I was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, staring at him. Nice.

“Nothing, just trying to get over the fact I can’t hit your face.” I smiled at him and he laughed.

“You wouldn’t. Anyway where do we want to start? Project or other things. I mean what first?” He shuffled through a few papers.

“Well I have to go dress shopping tomorrow so I guess colors and flowers first.” He nodded and pulled out the papers.

“Well the official colors are…” He leafed through the pages

“White, Silver, and Green.” We end up saying it together.

“Ok…” he takes a breath before looking back up to me. “What color is your dress going to be?”

“Depends, what are we matching?”

“Matching?”

“You know… well obliviously the flowers have to match but like, tie and dress or bow tie or…”

“Not a bow tie guy.”

“Ok…. So…?”

“Tie and dress then. I am not wearing a silver, white, or green suit.”

“Well you’re bossy.” I said, but unfortunately, I was hoping he’d say that. “Then I’ll go with a green dress probably.”

“Kay…” he nods and scans the paper. “Flowers…” He looks at me and I shrug.

“I don’t know.”

“Ok, what’s your favorite flower?”

“Tulips but those won’t work. Cassy is getting roses I think. What’s yours?”

“You think me, a guy, has a favorite type of flower?” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

“Yes.” He sighs and thinks for a moment.

“Lilies,” he finally says.

“Lilies…” I repeat thinking. “Yeah their nice.”

“Lilies?” he asks me looking up.

“Lilies.” I agree and he writes it down on the paper. I sit down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table he’s spread papers out on. Time passes as we pour over arrangements and soon we have to flick the light on. We come up with the flower styles and how to match best. A little knock on the door startles the both of us and Ruth peeks her head in.

“Sorry to interrupt dears, but I wanted to make sure you were both still conscious.”

“We’re fine Ruth, its ok. Avie here hasn’t even tried anything yet.” I glare at him again and the cocky sound in his voice reappears.

“Good, good…” she repeats and looks around.

“We’ve gotten quite a bit done actually.” I say looking at her.

“Have you?”

“Yep, flowers and colors are done.”

“Lovely! Can I see?” James hands her the papers.

“Green and…” she pauses to look at James. “Lilies.” She whispers.

“Yeah, they’ll complement Sydnee’s dress.”

“Yes, they most certainly will. I think Josh will like it as well. Brilliant work, so you’re all good for dress shopping tomorrow Sydnee?” she turns to me.

“Yep.”

“Well dinner’s pretty soon, so I’ll call you guys down soon.”

“Ok.” I smile “We’ll keep working until then.”

“Good.” She smiles and closes the door.

James looks through the papers while I sit on the floor writing down notes about what my toast to Cassy should be. I still haven’t thought about what to say about Josh. Soon enough, Ruth calls us down to dinner and James leads the way. We take our places at the table, James by Josh and me by Cassy, while everyone teases about no damage.

“Damage?” James laughs “Josh told me himself she said it takes a lot to take out a hockey player, doubt a little thing like her could do that.” His laugh was accompanied by many.

“Excuse me?” I ended up being the only one not laughing.

“Sorry darling, it’s true.” He smirked and the cocky tone in his voice hit me.

“Darling?” I said trying to pack as much venom in one word as I could. “I’m sure if you got me angry enough this ‘little thing’ could break something.” Everything quieted down.

“Ouch, that hurt.” He teased

“Plenty more where that came from, cocky bastard.”

“Excuse me?” he asked surprised

“Sydnee!” Cassy gasped appalled. Josh’s parents fell silent but I could have sworn they were smiling.

“What? Don’t act like you haven’t noticed Cassy!” I look at her “He’s full of himself, totally.”

“Sydnee I’ll bet I’ve known him longer than you have.”

“Yeah? How well Cassy? Were you stuck in a room with him for hours?”

“Well if that’s how you feel,”

“It is!” Suddenly it dawns on me it wasn’t my sister who said the last remark.

“You are so stupid Sydnee Cashner.” My sister looks at me and all I can see hear, and feel is disappointment. “You’ve never grown up and I’m sick of it! I’ve always had to do everything! Everything! I basically raised you and then I ask you to grow up and do ONE event for me and you ruin it! It’s all about you isn’t it! Grow up!”Her words hit me, slap me, and soak me.

“No.” I whisper.

“What?”

“If growing up means to be like you are, I refuse to.”

“Like I am? What are you saying Sydnee?” her eyes are narrowed as she spits it at me.

“I don’t want to be so crazy about things like you are. Obsessed even. All you’ve ever wanted was a ticket away from Aunt Jamie and even me.”

“Is that so bad? To have a good, nice life with people who love me?”

“Yes! When you’re leaving other people who love you and need you too. You pushed us away, Aunt Jamie and me.”

“Not true.”

“Yeah it’s true! You up and left for college! No one took care of me after that, I was forced to grow up for a while and when I did it was awful. At least you had me telling you I loved you and you were great. I had no one. I’m not going back to that!” I felt my eyes prickle. “I think I’d better go. I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Smith; it’s normally not like this.” I get up to leave and feel the first tear fall. “Call Claire.”

I make it out to the hall before my tears flood and I’m shaking. I hear whispers behind me and a chair scrape their wooden floor. I reach for the door handle with my blurred vision and shaky hand.

“Here” A hand reaches out and opens it for me. “Sid…” he whispers but I run out of the house. I run away from the picture perfect façade that really does belong on a pamphlet. People want it until they know what it’s really like.

I make it to the guest house and then to my room. I sit on the floor and shake and sob. I try and sing softly to myself. I curl into a ball and rock back and forth.

“Mommy,” I whisper “please, please make it stop.” I can almost imagine her hugging me. Telling me it’ll pass. Cassy will get over it and it’ll be back to us being friends, her being big and bossy because she loves me. Then she’d sing that lullaby she always did and I’d be ok. But she isn’t here and I’m alone. Like I’ve always been, small, young, and alone.