Deceitful Star

Isn’t it funny how fast time moves when you need it to go at its slowest? Finishing the photo project was a challenge in itself but there were speeches to be written and a lot of other things. James and I spent hour’s together working and laughing. Soon it was a regular thing. After his morning practice we’d kick Cassy out of the guest house to work until dinner or, when he had them, his evening practices. There were no more cocky tones or fights except playful ones. Josh and Cassy had to spend more and more time apart while James and I had to live with it. Shopping with Cassy and Ruth was tolerable, most of the time. Ruth was sweet as ever but Cassy was getting nervous and stressed. We helped her pick a hair style and she begged me to let mine be curled. Dance lessons continued and each time James made me laugh uncontrollably, but soon we were done with it. I went and got my nails done with Cassy and then, as everything else had, rehearsal night crept up on us.

The minister showed up and Ruth was placing chairs, lights, and fixing decorations. It was quite a sight. The whole party was there and soon it began. Everyone took their place. Josh’s nieces traipsed down the aisle happily as the flower girls and their cousin was ring bearer. James took my arm in his and walked me down the aisle whispering little jokes all the way. Right before we had to part by where the ‘altar’ would be he breathed, “I could get used to this.”

“And now you’ll enter Cassy, with John escorting you.” The minister called and she did. John had volunteered to escort her since she really only had me and I was a bit taken. They walked down and the minister smiled. We did the whole thing a few times before we all got it down. The readers knew their cues and everyone knew their lines and place. I knew when to take Cassy’s flowers and such which made me feel a little better.

“Who’s ready for some dinner?” Josh smiled at the party and everyone cheered. “We’re going out tonight, give my sweet momma a break.” He kissed Ruth on the cheek.

“I don’t mind dear. You know I love the kitchen but you kids go, have fun.” We all arranged to meet at a nice restaurant in an hour. Claire made sure everyone knew to dress semi-formal and we could practice dancing there.

“It’s a modern type place I suggested.” She smiled at me “It’s very nice and not so pricey.” My sister hugged her.

“Oh my best friend knows just how to take care of us don’t you?” she smiled and went to take Claire to get ready with us. She’d been spending a lot of time with Claire lately and it was a good thing too. She wasn’t so crazy anymore after the right amount of attention.

As much as I hate to admit it, Claire picked a perfect spot for ‘kids’ like us. They played new music and had nice food. My only complaint was that it was more like a dance club than needed. Despite the begging and pleading of Claire and my sister I went in my black jeans and a nice shirt. Cassy and Josh made their announcement and then told everyone to order and be free. Many people sat down and a few went to the dance floor. I grabbed a glass of water and looked around for James.

“Hey.” He said startling me by coming up from behind and hugging me around the waist like before.

“Shoot you big idiot! I almost spilled it.” I heard him laugh. He let go of me and we sat down at one of the little tables.

“Sorry Syd didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Yeah, sure.” His little smirk told me otherwise.

“So lot’s of partying tomorrow, huh?”

“Yup.” I sighed and thought of the upcoming bachelorette party. I’d let Claire handle it after her begging and Cassy’s approval. “I didn’t have to plan it though.”

“Lucky, it’s hard to book good strippers these days.” He said teasingly.

“Oh so that’s what you’re doing huh?”

“It’s a bachelor party, what do you expect? Do you think we were going to sit in a circle and knit while telling stories about our cats?” I laughed at the mental image and dipped my fingers in the water and flicked it at him. I watched him as he watched everyone else. “Fuck!” he suddenly said and sat further behind me.

“What?” I looked around.

“Blonde over there, in the red dress, see her?”

“Yeah, she isn’t part of the wedding party.” I saw a thin, lean, and absolutely gorgeous girl.

“We used to date, that bitch.” He hissed. I couldn’t help the comparisons going through my mind and the way he talked about her made me feel uneasy.

“What’d she do?”

“What every other fucking girl I seem to meet does. If I was normal, not, well, me that type of girl wouldn’t talk to me at all. But I am me so she does. Do you get that?” he was talking fast and nonsense.

“Not really…I think…” I tried to piece it together.

“Sydnee when you’re a person like me, with money and a career somewhat in the media, it changes you. Suddenly you’re a looker and totally ‘on the map’. People who want to use you disguise themselves as people who care about you. This world is so… dirty Sydnee, these people get better and better at what they do.”

“And she’s one?”

“Yes, a fucking liar who took what she wanted and left the rest. She made a fool of me Sydnee, looked me in the eye and lied. Actually did that a few times. Somehow that, girl looked me in the eyes and said she loved me without meaning it.”

“I’m so…”

“All they want is their time in the spotlight and they think I can give it to them. Then when they realize what it’s like, they leave.” He breathes quietly but I can feel his anger.

“James, I’m sorry.”

“For what? You did nothing.”

“I’m sorry the world sucks.” He smiles and laughs a little.

“Thanks, Syd, there needs to be more people like you.” He touches my nose and then looks at her again.

“Well she’s pretty.” I say watching her.

“No she isn’t. She’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.” He looks away from her and at me. A song slowly seeps into my head, it’s the music. It’s slower with a nice opening. He stands and reaches out his hand. “Dance with me Syd?” I take it and he helps me up.

“Ok Jim.” He laughs and we go out to the dance floor. He pulls me closer and we dance. I hear the words that seem to fit so perfectly.

‘Tell me what you want to hear, something that were like those years, sick of all the insincere, so I’m gonna give all my secrets away. This time, don’t need another perfect lie…’

“Hey James.” I whisper close to his ear

“Yeah Sydnee?” he whispers back.

“I think we found our song.” He listens for awhile, gray eyes shining.

‘My god, amazing we got this far, it’s like we’re chasing all those stars, who’s driving shiny black cars. And every day I see the news, all the problems we could solve…’ he sings along softly before replying. “Took us long enough but I think so.” We finish the song and then the quiet. Another more upbeat song starts but we’re still stuck there. The lyrics so perfectly attached to the both of us replaying in my mind.

“James Neal?” I hear a high pitched voice ask “Omigod! No way!” a squeal and suddenly he’s ripped from me and blonde bitch is hugging him. I see his eyes harden a little.

“Veronica.” He says and basically has to peel her off of him.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you James-y-poo!” she smiled and almost vomit right there. “You have to dance with me, once!”

“Actually I’ve got…”

“Just one.” She says and whisks him away. I don’t know what to do so I go sit at our table.

I watch her try to get him to dance with her. She’s smiling and laughing while he’s being polite. Something familiar stirs within me. Like an old friend hate is there, the same feeling I had coming here, the same feeling I got looking at that star logo hockey rink, the same feeling I’d had about him a few weeks ago, and now her. I wonder when it was lost, when I no longer hated James or Dallas. Seeing her I feel it all over again.

“Hey Sydnee.” Josh sits down next to me. “What’d he do? You look pissed.”

“It’s not him Josh.” He follows my glare and lets loose a few curse words. “He’s just being polite.”

“Yeah, I know.” He looks at the two of them. “Sydnee I’m taking Cassy home. I think you should come with us, I’m coming back so I’ll tell him you got tired or something.”

“Yeah.” I agree half heartedly. I get up and follow Josh who leads me with a hand on my back. That’s when I feel it, anger turned to tears. Cassy hugs me after looking at Josh for explanation.

“It’s not her, he doesn’t like her. Like you said he’s being polite.” My sister whispers but it’s not that he’s dancing with her that bothers me, it’s the fact he’s nice to her even after what she’s done to him. He’s nicer than a cocky bastard like I thought of him before and I’m ashamed I ever thought of him like that.

I cry on the way home and I think I’ve cried more on this trip than ever before in my life. My sister sits in the back with me and just hugs me. Josh pulls right by the guest house and lets us out. I walk to my room to be alone for a bit.

“Night Cassy.” I say and she smiles and hugs me. She lets me go though, she knows.

I lie in my bed and think about the past weeks. I now see how much has changed, even though I didn’t want it to. I don’t hate Dallas and I actually find I don’t really want to leave. I’m closer to my sister now. In our fight we said things that needed to be said to move on and get along better. This is my family now, Ruth and John, Josh, and even Claire. Then there’s James. I feel like a little kid again wondering if so-and-so liked me. I’m confused. I think about it for a long time and it’s these thoughts that I drift away too.

In the morning my alarm wakes me, and makes up my mind for me. Call it divine intervention or whatever but I woke up to the radio with the soft words of One Republic.

‘Got no reason, got no shame. Got no family I can blame. Just don’t let me disappear. I’mma tell you everything.’ I sat up and stared at the radio. Then rushed out of bed to find I, again, hadn’t changed. Black jeans and nice shirt which was, thank god, made out of non-wrinkle type fabric. I quickly brush my hair and teeth then run all the way to the main house.

“Morning Sydnee.” Ruth smiled at me when she answered the door.

“Uhh… Ruth can I come in?”

“Sure darling, what’s up?”

“There’s something I need to do.” She steps aside and something guides me up the stairs to a certain door. I open it and rush in.

It’s empty. The bed’s made, but I can smell him. It’s his room but he’s gone. I sit on the floor and drop my head in my hands, my moment of impulse is gone and now I feel stupid.

“Sydnee?” I look up and standing there is something great.

“James…”

“What’re you doing here?” he’s sweaty and is carrying that big duffle bag. He drops it looking at me. Without thinking I jump up and hug him close. I may begin to cry again, I really don’t want to. He hugs me tight as well and I’m afraid of the waterworks.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper into his neck. “I was stupid. I haven’t apologized for being so rude to you that first day and mean to you and…”

“Shh,” he says and just holds me. “you aren’t stupid and you had a right. I was being a… what’d you call me?”

“Cocky bastard?” I asked and laughed.

“Yeah that.” He laughs too and he lets go of me. “Now I’m a sweaty mess and you’re hugging me?”

“Yeah…” I laugh “it’s because this is you.” I touch his sweaty hair. I look down at the floor and feel like a shy first grader. “I like you.” My words sound like they belong to one.

“I like you too, Sydnee.” He says and he hugs me again.