Betrayal

"Rosie! Please, sweetie! Stop crying! You've got to let me in!" His voice was tender with care as he called through my hotel room door.

"I don't feel like talking, Jimmy!" I managed to speak through my tears.

"Rose, baby..." His words trailed off with a sigh.

There he goes, calling me "Baby" again. He doesn't know what these pet names do to me.

"Just go away, Jimmy." It hurt me to turn him away. "You're wasting your time." I mumbled, now resting against the door, the only thing in between us.

"Baby," Damn him. "You shouldn't be crying on your birthday. Now, let me in and tell me what's wrong." I let out a heavy sigh, still unsure what to do. "Rosie, don't make me break down this door." His tone was light, but I knew the threat wasn't.

Another loaded sigh escaped as I undid the chain on the door, and slowly pulled the door open. Jimmy was standing right over the threshold, before he dashed inside so I wouldn't close the door on him. I slowly shut it, trying to stall from having to turn around and face him. He'd see my tear stained face, then continue harassing me until I spoke with him.

"Sweetie, talk to me!" He didn't even let me turn to face him on my own. His face immediately softened at the look in my eyes.

"I'm fine! Really!" The lie was exposed as soon as he heard it come out as a squeak.

"Rose." His tone was firm, meaning he expected a truthful answer.

I bit my lip in response, not sure how to speak what was on my mind. He sighed heavily, then guided me onto the bed, onto his lap, and into his arms. I stiffened immediately, but his soft strokes from his hands calmed me into his chest.

"You can tell me anything, Baby." His soft words into my ears induced shivers to course through my body.

"I-I-" He placed a small kiss to my temple, soothing me. "I'm scared." I felt two feet tall when I quietly muttered the two words.

"Of what?" He continued his gentle caresses.

"Of my feelings for you." I was speaking from my heart now.

"What?" He pulled my head up so I would look him in the eye. He pushed a blond lock behind my ear as he spoke. "Why would you be afraid of that? Are you afraid of me?" His assumption hurt him, I could tell.

"No!" I quickly told him, hating the temporary hurt it caused him.

"Then why would that be a bad thing?" His face held a soft smile, while his hands played with my long hair. "I want to be with you too, so why is it bad?"

I didn't completely registered what he said as I continued. "Because I didn't want you to know, because I know you just look at me as some little 16 ye- oh sorry, 17 year old now. You probably have some older, more mature, more beauti-"

His lips connected with mine for the second time tonight. They were just as I had always imagined them, soft, warm, and smooth. I slowly kissed back, careful not to be too eager and embarrass myself.

Truth was, when we kissed earlier, it was my first kiss. I've never been more than the best friend to a guy. They never really noticed me. But not Jimmy. By the gentle, loving way he's kissing me right now, I feel like the most special girl in the world.

My eyes fluttered open. I surveyed my current location, stuck in Matt's arm in his confined bunk. I shrugged out of his grasp, with much difficulty, and made my way out of the bed. I closed the curtain behind me before walking to the front of the bus.

I locked eyes with Jimmy as he reached to grab a drink. I sent him a warm smile, remembering the memory I dreamed of, but once he sent a blank expression back my way, unresponsive, I remembered the events from last night. My grin instantly fell.

Jimmy grabbed his beer, and made his way by me, to the back of the bus. I wasn't going to let him though, I grabbed his wrist and held on tightly, trying keep him still. He looked back at me. His beautifully blue eyes were blank.

I couldn't stand this look he was giving me. I decided to try and break through his stoicism. I stood on my toes, placed a hand on the back of his neck, and pulled our heads together for a passionate kiss. I put all of my emotions into this kiss. I tried to tell him the pain he was putting me through, yet, he did nothing. He simply let me kiss him, and made no movement to pull away or return the kiss. I pulled away. I tried to control the tears that were starting to collect in my eyes.

He turned from me, not even caring to my pain.

"Why are you doing this, Jimmy?" I choked through my tears.

This stopped him in his tracks. He didn't turn to me, but I knew I had his attention.

"Don't you see how badly you're hurting me? If I lied about-about Ale-Alexa," I hiccuped through her name. "Then why would this be hurting me so badly?"

"Guilt." His voice was dry, and constricted.

"I don't feel guilty for telling you the truth." Yes, I was hurting. But I plan to stand my ground. "I've never lied to you, Jimmy. Nor would I ever." He didn't reply, so I continued. "I'm reacting this way because I love you, and you're not trusting me when I tell you the truth. I don't know what I did to lose your trust, b-"

"Matthew." He spoke deeply, ending his name with a growl. This reaction confused me.

"Matt? What does this have to do wit-" He cut me off again

"I heard you both talking." He finally faced me. I noticed he had consumed all of his beverage, and now had the can crushed within his hand. "On that night you had the drivers pull over for some air. You know, after Alex made her confession to you?" He spoke lowly.

"Matt was comforting me! H-"

"Then when Matt told you he 'fucking wanted you'" He quoted Matt, word for word.

"Jim-"

"And last night. When you said you loved him, and he said it right back." He was now in my face as he spoke. I could smell the alcohol drowning his breath.

"Jimm-"

"Don't even deny it." He was angry. No, he was enraged.

"James Owen Sullivan, you listen to me and you listen to me right now," My tone matched his venomous voice, causing him to flinch at his full name. We only did this when one was really in trouble. "I love you, and you only. Yes, Matt helped me out after we broke up. Yes, Matt may have admitted that he wanted me originally. And yes, I told him I loved him last night, and said it right back. " He visibly flinched again when I spoke the last part. "But no. We do not love each other anymore than the way I love Sebastian." I spoke of my brother.

"But-"

"No but's, James. I love you, and I will love you for a lifetime and more." My tone was authoritative. "I never have, am not, nor will I ever utter a lie to you. Nothing but the truth had left my lips." Dramatic, maybe, but the words seemed to get to him. His eyes flooded with understanding now. I sighed in relief.

"I'm so sor-"

I was tired of his apologies. So, I grasped the back of his neck and pulled his lips down hard on mine.