Betrayal

"Hey, Rose?" I looked up from my dinner, consisting of Chinese take-out, into Shannon's large brown eyes.

"Yeah?" I used my chopsticks to bring a noodle to my mouth.

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "And have you be honest?"

"Of course! Shannon, you know I'd never lie to you. Lying is a big no-no!" I shook my finger at her, earning a giggle at my childish terminology.

"Well, I've noticed something over the past few days, and if I'm wrong, just tell me, but, I don't think I am. I know you and the way you act around him shows that you're starting to like him. And I mean really like him. You were the same way around every other guy you've ever liked." Shannon's small speech earned a confused look from me.

"Who?" I asked.

"Matt!"

"You think I like Matt?" My eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

"Well, it looks like you do!" Shannon continued to eat. We heard a thump come from the back of the bus. We turned to see Alex stumbling out of her bunk, obviously just waking up.

"Here." I muttered. I held out a carton of rice with a fork for her.

"Thank you." She mumbled and turned back to her bunk.

"Well, at least you're civil." Shannon pointed out.

Not really. I mean, we've spoken to each other, just when we had to. We'd pretend to be the best of friends on stage, picking fun with each other, but really, we just avoided each other at all costs.

"Yeah." I mumbled passively.

"Well, back to Matt-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." I held my hand up, signaling her to stop. I turned to her with my chopsticks dropped. "I do not have feelings for Matt. You know me. I'm an affectionate person with my close friends. I have no interest in Matthew Sanders." I resumed my eating before speaking again, "Besides, He has a girlfriend."

"There!" Shannon pointed at me in an accusing manner. "You do like him! You're just denying it!"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are. You wouldn't have brought up Val if you didn't. You don't want to because of her, but you do. I know you do."

"I'm not over Jimmy, Shannon. Yes, alright? I sorta like Matt. But it's because he's so sweet to me, and listens to me, and helps me with anything. I don't want to like him. But I do." I stopped her before she tried to say something. I needed to get my point across to her, and even myself. "But, I still love Jimmy. Odds are, I'll love Jimmy for a long time. Most likely forever. And no, I'm not being over dramatic here. Jimmy was my first love. Hell, he still is my first love! I love him, Shannon. Sure, I'll eventually fall out of love with him, but I'll still love him. I just won't be in love with him. He'll always be special to me."

"Then you have to be realistic with this. Your feelings for Matt have probably developed because your still hurt from what he did. I hate to admit it, because Matt is such a great guy, but I think he's kinda like your rebound."

"No! That's awful! Matt's much too sweet of a guy to be a rebound. You know I'm not that girl." I would never have a rebound fling and hurt someone like that.

"Not really a rebound, 'cause your not together, nor will you be together because he has a girlfriend, but and emotional rebound, I guess." What she said, though not perfectly clear, made sense on some degree. I probably developed feelings for Matt, small feelings, I reiterate, because he was the first guy to be extraordinarily sweet to me.

"Gah!" I exclaimed the imaginary word, dropped my chopsticks again, and roughly leaned back against the couch. "Stupid girly emotions!"

Shannon just laughed at me. "I know, I know. They suck."