‹ Prequel: Kerrosine Kisses
A Whole New Story
A fresh new start.
19th of December 2008.
"I'm back."
Wow, something I thought I’d never say again.
Ever.
I'm back in New Jersey...
I guess you're wondering what happened?
Here it is.
After the whole hospital accident, I kind of went...well...mental I guess.
I kept on smashing things against walls.
Insulting everyone at the hospital.
And I just couldn’t control myself any more.
Gerard came a few times, but after a while, he stopped.
Everyone did.
I was sent into an asylum in England.
So my father could work there.
Obviously, it all had to be about him.
Never about what I needed.
I went into a silent state for three years.
I couldn't talk.
I couldn't sleep.
I barely ever ate.
It was during that time of silence that I finally realised something.
I don’t need him.
I didn’t need him before, and I don’t need him now.
So, I started eating again.
Pretending I was fine, to realise, that after a while…
…I wasn’t pretending anymore.
It was real.
I was happy.
20th Of December
So here I am, back in New Jersey, my real home.
I have a new house.
A new life.
And a fresh new start.
I could have called Gerard.
I still had his cell number on the small tatty piece of paper he first wrote it out on.
I could have written, anything.
But I thought he'd be better off getting over me and moving on with his life.
It was for the best.
For both of us.
So I thought.
As I said, I’d had a fresh new start.
I’d finished my education, and already had a part time job here.
On Saturdays at a local café.
I mean, it took my mind off things as much as occupied me for the day.
I’d made a couple friends.
They reminded me of the guys so much.
It was almost unbearable.
And yet I just couldn’t leave them.
They made me feel sane again.
Just like old times.
It’s almost Christmas and I’m about to go out shopping with my friends, my…new friends…
Their names?
Fred.
Michael.
Ginny.
Matt.
And Rob.
I know, freaky.
They’re all really nice, especially Mikey, he reminds me of Gerard.
A lot.
He has blond hair and blue eyes, but the way he looks at me, it’s just like Gerard used to.
With love…with care.
I can never look him in the eye.
It freaks me out.
"I'm back."
Wow, something I thought I’d never say again.
Ever.
I'm back in New Jersey...
I guess you're wondering what happened?
Here it is.
After the whole hospital accident, I kind of went...well...mental I guess.
I kept on smashing things against walls.
Insulting everyone at the hospital.
And I just couldn’t control myself any more.
Gerard came a few times, but after a while, he stopped.
Everyone did.
I was sent into an asylum in England.
So my father could work there.
Obviously, it all had to be about him.
Never about what I needed.
I went into a silent state for three years.
I couldn't talk.
I couldn't sleep.
I barely ever ate.
It was during that time of silence that I finally realised something.
I don’t need him.
I didn’t need him before, and I don’t need him now.
So, I started eating again.
Pretending I was fine, to realise, that after a while…
…I wasn’t pretending anymore.
It was real.
I was happy.
20th Of December
So here I am, back in New Jersey, my real home.
I have a new house.
A new life.
And a fresh new start.
I could have called Gerard.
I still had his cell number on the small tatty piece of paper he first wrote it out on.
I could have written, anything.
But I thought he'd be better off getting over me and moving on with his life.
It was for the best.
For both of us.
So I thought.
As I said, I’d had a fresh new start.
I’d finished my education, and already had a part time job here.
On Saturdays at a local café.
I mean, it took my mind off things as much as occupied me for the day.
I’d made a couple friends.
They reminded me of the guys so much.
It was almost unbearable.
And yet I just couldn’t leave them.
They made me feel sane again.
Just like old times.
It’s almost Christmas and I’m about to go out shopping with my friends, my…new friends…
Their names?
Fred.
Michael.
Ginny.
Matt.
And Rob.
I know, freaky.
They’re all really nice, especially Mikey, he reminds me of Gerard.
A lot.
He has blond hair and blue eyes, but the way he looks at me, it’s just like Gerard used to.
With love…with care.
I can never look him in the eye.
It freaks me out.