Ha Ha Harlequin

The clocked ticked at her, malevolently, as if teasing her.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick

No matter how hard she stared the thing, it would not move faster. At the moment, that was all she wanted; time to move faster.

Harleen fell back into her chair in a huff, exhaling through her nose. It was seven thirty two, and Bartholomew had yet to break the news to her. And the Joker was to be making his grand entrance in less than two hours.

After her session had ended with Schiff, she had spent the day running errands for other doctors, and helping out the orderlies. She sat and talked with the patients during lunch, and even witnessed a fight between two of the more violent men. But that was the extent of her excitement.

“Quinzel,” someone called out from the doorway, causing Harleen to jump. An orderly was staring at her, looking very uninterested. “Arkham wants to see you in his office. Immediately.”

Harleen nodded her head and followed the man out the door. Although she knew the way to Arkham’s office, she still followed the man. She knew what this was going to be about. They were finally going to tell her about her new assignment. She knew she should be excited, maybe a little nervous, but for some reason, all she could say was, “It’s about freaking time.”

Arkham was sitting on the corner of his desk, knees crossed, gaze glued to the small television that resided in the corner. Once the door opened and Harleen and the orderly entered, Arkham glanced behind him briefly and then paused the video, turning around and giving her a warm smile.

“Ah, Harleen!” he greeted her, gesturing for a chair. As she sat down, he did likewise in his own chair and continued speaking. “I’ve been watching your tapes lately, your sessions with patient 3859-”

“His name is Thomas Schiff,” she reminded him pointedly, keeping her expression cool. She knew Arkham liked to use patient numbers and not names. ‘Too personal,’ he would always say. He coughed uncomfortably at the sudden interruption, but let it pass.

“Mr. Schiff, then. I have been watching your sessions with him, and might I say I am very impressed with your work.” He paused letting the information soak in. Her expression didn’t change.

What did he expect from her? An enormous thank you for his praise? She knew he was just buttering her up before he dropped the bomb.

What a shmuck.

Despite her cold response, he wasn’t unnerved. He wasn’t even surprised. “As you know, we are having a very special patient check into the asylum today-”

“The Joker,” she caught him off once more, narrowing her eyes. Now he was becoming irritated. She knew it. She saw it. She liked it. His smile faltered, and he decided to get right to the point. A wise decision on his part.

“I want you to assist me with his treatment.”

He said the last word with a hint of sarcasm, just a hint, but Harleen heard it. Not that she disagreed with it. Treat the Joker? It was laughable.

“How can I, a lowly intern, assist you, Dr. Arkham?” she asked politely, batting her eyelashes over her baby blue eyes. She figured playing dumb was a better route to choose. A more entertaining route.

“You’ll just be in charge of sitting in the corner, at a reasonable distance from him,” he explained to her. “Taking notes. Finding anything that I could miss. You won’t even have to speak to him or anything. And, if you succeed…”

His voice trailed off and he smirked at her, knowing that this would make her happy, if anything.

“You will be promoted to a permanent psychologist at this institution.”

Harleen could not contain her emotions any longer. A huge smile spread over her lips, finally satisfying Arkham.

“And I’ll get a new office?” she asked eagerly, smile still intact.

He nodded his head. “And some new equipment.” He pointed to the video screen, which was very fuzzy and a slightly yellowish color. “And as you know, he is making his grand entrance here tonight-”

“And you want me there to help restrain him? Give him medication?” she asked, already knowing what he was going to say.

“Actually,” Arkham said, pulling his lips in, bracing himself for what he really wanted to say. “I don’t want him to see you.”

She noticed how he said ‘he’ see her, and not the other way around.

“Not until our first session, which isn’t-” He cut her off before she can say anything this time. “Until next week. Starting Monday, and every Wednesday and Friday after that, from eleven to noon. You will continue to monitor patient- I mean, Mr. Schiff, on your regular Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Mr. Arkham, why exactly is it that I am not allowed to see him?” Harleen asked heatedly, feeling her anger boil inside of her. “If I am going to be one of his doctors, then I should be there.”

Arkham chuckled to himself lightly, shaking his head, as if saying to himself, ‘silly, naïve Harleen.’ This only caused her to become even more distraught with the middle aged man in front of her.

If only looks could kill…

“Ms. Quinzel,” he started off, leaning back in his chair casually and crossing his legs. This was supposed to be Harleen’s superior. She rolled her eyes. “I’m afraid that you would just be too eager around him. He would break you down the moment he laid eyes on you.”

There was a slight pause as Harleen stared him down. She knew better. She wasn’t stupid.

Exhaling out her nose slowly, she began speaking to him in a calm, cool, and collected manner.

“Dr. Arkham, not to say that I am going against your directions, but-”

“If you want that promotion, you must do as I say, Harleen,” Arkham retorted, not even allowing her to finish her sentence.

His eyes were closed as he was trying to contain his anger, and Harleen was not about to protest. He had something over her, and he would use it. She wanted very badly to see the Joker, to see the face that had caused so much terror over Gotham City, and she had to wait until next week. She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from yelling something angry and irrational. Instead, she took a deep breath.

“And what will he be doing in the meantime?”

“I will be having sessions with him, just tomorrow and Friday, where I will assess him myself,” he answered smugly. She wanted to wipe that smirk off of his face with her three inch heels. “I want to give you my notes on him for you to study, just so you’ll be able to handle it.”

Harleen didn’t mind the research part. It would be nice to have something to go on during their sessions. Something to brace herself with.

“Alright fine, I’ll go home early tonight,” she relented, pushing her glasses up her face.

“Excellent!” Arkham exclaimed in triumph. “Now, just gather up the rest of your work, and I will see you-”

“Just so you know, Jeremiah,” she stopped him, for the third time that evening, just because she could. “I know very well why you don’t want him to see me.”

She saw his face harden once more, and made her way to the door frame where she turned around, eyes filled with ambiguity, and winked. She left the room in silence, only noise being made was the clicking of her heels on the hard tile floor.

In actuality, she had no idea why he didn’t want the Joker to see her. She just said that to bruise his ego, deflate his head just a tad. Although if Harleen had to guess, it was because she was his secret weapon. Something that a man like the Joker wouldn’t see coming. Although why he didn’t just tell her this in the first place was beyond her.

Harleen loathed that man with every fiber of her being. He was the youngest owner of the institution, being only thirty two, six years her senior, but that was just because no one else wanted the job. He was arrogant, and he tried to prove everybody wrong, which he did to her quite frequently.

Her thoughts running around her brain vehemently, she did not notice that the doctors and nurses were running around chaotically, orderlies yelling into walkie-talkies, a voice screaming something incoherently on the loud speaker. Harleen grabbed one of the nurses and demanded to know what was going on.

“It’s the Joker!” she practically squeaked out, her voice very distracted. Her eyes were darting around, looking for where she needed to go.

Harleen could have sworn that her heart had stopped beating at that very second.

“What about him? He’s not due here for another hour!” Harleen wanted her to get straight to the point. He wasn’t even here yet, and he was still causing a mass panic.

“They’re bringing him in early.” And with that, the little nurse took off down the hall.

She was the only one standing still in the hallway as she tried to take in what was just said, the other doctors just blurs of colors before her unseeing eyes. Her breathing had spiked slightly, as she experienced a sudden rush of adrenaline. The Joker was coming in early. The Joker was coming in early. The Joker was coming in early, and she needed to get the hell out of there.

She took off running in the direction of her office, finally coming in sync with the others around her, when she stopped. The temptation was just too great. She just wanted a little peak at him. Would he be wearing his make-up? Would he be in a straight jacket? It was natural for a girl to be curious, especially about one of her future patients.

Biting her lip, she started to backtrack in the opposite direction, when suddenly, she felt two hands upon her shoulders, whipping her around.

“The exit is that way, Ms. Quinzel,” Arkham told her, pointing to the front of the asylum, eyes distrusting. She could detect a hint of panic in his large, hazel eyes.

“Yes, Dr. Arkham…of course…”

And that was the end of her escapade. She returned to her office, grabbed her purse and coat, and headed towards the main entrance. The secretary was missing from her usual post at the front desk, trying to deal with the whole Joker mess, Harleen was sure, so she had to let herself out.

She walked down the steps of Arkham’s main entrance, and headed towards the parking garage, half a mile away. Gotham City was a dangerous place to be at night, especially in the narrows. She made sure to look determined as she walked diligently to her car, just as she was trained. Arkham Asylum wanted its doctors to be protected.

Her keys were buried somewhere in her purse, and by the time she had found them, about five police cars and two SWAT team trucks had pulled up to the entrance. It was far away, so Harleen was not sure of what was going on. One of the trucks opened, and an officer hopped out quickly, as if inside he had just been pounding on the door, trying to get out. Shouting could be heard, but it was unintelligible, even if she strained her ears as hard as possible. And then, someone else came out of the truck. Well, more like trudged. They were wearing a white straight jacket, and dark pants, perhaps a dark blue, or purple. Their hair was dyed a harsh shade of green, and that’s when Harleen knew.

“The Joker…” she whispered to herself, letting her keys drop to the ground. At the moment, getting into her car and safely home was not one of her concerns. The Joker was standing there, right in front of her, only a few yards away. She wanted so badly to run over there and just like at him. See his infamous scars, but this time not through a television set or a camera lens.

He jumped off the back of the truck, and silently made his way up the building, as if he didn’t even notice the fifteen or so guards surrounding him with guns and nightsticks. A helicopter flashed overhead, highlighting the Joker.

He stopped then, and looked up at the bright light, making a face of playful annoyance. Speaking to one of the guards resulted in him getting beat over the head. Harleen had assumed he was trying to tell a joke. He was the Joker, after all.

She cursed to herself, and bit her bottom lip. Restraining herself from running straight back into that building was going to be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.

“Arkham, you son of a bitch,” she mumbled to herself, and then took off angrily in her car; speed much higher than was legal.