The Inbetween

Leana sighed as she pushed her hand back through her hair nervously, looking at the clock on the dashboard of her car. She’d been sitting here in her vehicle for a little over an hour now, just trying to gather the courage to go up to Jimmy’s parents’ front door so that she could see them and tell them about the pregnancy.

She knew that it might be hard for them to accept the fact that their son had gotten her pregnant and then died. Even more than that, it might be hard for them to accept the fact that they had a grandchild coming. She and Jimmy had never really discussed children, so she was wondering if they’d be accepting of it, or if they’d tell her they didn’t want any part in the baby’s life.

She was hoping that they would, she realized. They would be this baby’s grandparents, and as such, they should be a part of its life. She’d already decided that she couldn’t go through with adoption, and she hadn’t been able to go through with the abortion either. She was going to go through with being a mother. To Leana, this was Jimmy’s last gift to her and she was going to take advantage of it to the best of her ability.

Closing her eyes, she finally decided that she’d been sitting here outside the vehicle for long enough. She pushed her hand back through her hair one last time before turning the car off and opening the car door so she could make her way up the front walk.

By the time she reached the front door, Jimmy’s mother already had the door open, a warm smile on her face as she looked at Leana. “Oh, dear. It’s been so long since we’ve seen you, Leana,” she murmured before pulling her in for a tight hug. “Why has it been so long since you’ve come to see us?”

She gave the woman a halfhearted smile before returning the hug, smiling as she stepped inside of the house. Barbara shut the door and then led Leana into the living room. All around, Leana saw pictures of Jimmy and his sister with their family, along with several pictures of herself with Jimmy and his family. She smiled when she remembered how close they had all been with one another.

“I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by in so long,” she apologized to Jimmy’s mother before she cleared her throat. “Things have been rough.”

Barbara gave her a sympathetic look and then nodded before she patted her knee. “Bill! Get in here. Leana is here,” she called to her husband before turning to face Leana once again. “We’re glad you’ve stopped by now. We’ve missed you dropping in.”

“I’ve missed it too,” Leana admitted before she absently moved one of her hands to her stomach. “I missed being around all of you guys.”

A few moments later, Jimmy’s father walked through the door, grinning when he saw Leana standing there. He crouched to give her a one-armed hug, the other arm holding a rather large cat that Leana recalled had hated Jimmy.

“It’s about time you stopped by to say hello,” he told her with a beaming smile, setting the cat down on the floor before he sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the coffee table. “So tell us, how have you been?”

Leana thought about how she wanted to answer his question. She knew that Jimmy’s parents had been worried about her. After he’d died, there had been a few memorials that Leana had shown up at, but that had been before she knew that she was pregnant.

“I’ve been better, to be honest,” she told Bill before she crossed her arms over her lap, giving him a halfhearted smile. “A lot of stuff has been happening. I thought I should come and talk to you guys about it all.”

She watched as Barbara and Bill shot worried looks at one another before Barbara moved closer to her, giving her a small hug. “We’re here for you, sweetie. If you have something you need to tell us, you can.”

Leana nodded and then groaned before she looked up at them nervously. “Jimmy…Well, after he died, I wasn’t doing so good,” she muttered, feeling tears start welling up in her eyes at even just the thought of how she’d been after Jimmy had died. She had been a wreck. Her whole life had been taken away when he’d left her there in that house alone.

“That’s understandable, dear,” Barbara told her in a soothing tone. “We all felt that way.”

“…After awhile, it got really bad though,” she whispered, looking up at Jimmy’s parents. “I was getting sick all the time and at first I just thought it was because I was so upset, but…then I went to the doctor and…”

Barbara and Bill gave one another worried glances again before Bill spoke next. “What did the doctor say, Leana?” He urged her, wanting to know what was wrong. Leana was like a daughter to both him and Barbara, and losing her as well as Jimmy might be one blow too many for them to take.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, the tears that had been welling up in her eyes spilling out and falling onto her jeans-clad legs before she looked up at them. “I didn’t try to become pregnant…but I am.”

Upon hearing this, both Barbara and Bill were completely shocked. They knew that their son hadn’t planned on having children any time soon before he’d died. He’d wanted to make Avenged Sevenfold an even bigger band before that happened. To hear that he’d gotten Leana pregnant and that she was expecting his child was a shock to both of them.

“I’m sure he’s smiling down on you, Leana,” Barbara whispered before she gave Leana a tight hug. She didn’t know about her husband, but she was thrilled at the prospect of having a grandchild in the family. Leana would be a great mother to the baby, and she knew that Jimmy would be ecstatic about being a father if he knew about it.

“I wasn’t expecting it to happen,” she whispered as she looked up at Barbara. “I…I don’t know if I can do it, to be honest. But I’m going to try. It’s his only chance to be a father.”

Barbara and Bill both nodded before they smiled at her. “We’re more than happy that you decided to come and tell us,” Barbara spoke before she looked over at Bill. “We’d be more than thrilled to be a part of the baby’s life as well…you know, when it’s born. We’d like to be involved with this. It’s our grandchild, Leana.”

“Of course,” she nodded, knowing that they had every right to be a part of the baby’s life. She would never keep them out of the baby’s life when it was so important to them. Jimmy had been their son, and this child would be a direct extension to him for them.

“And you really do need to start stopping by more often,” Barbara chastised with a small smile. “We really miss seeing you, Leana. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean you need to go, too.”

Hearing Barbara say something like that nearly made Leana start shedding even more tears. To know that she was that important to them meant something to her. She had loved Jimmy with every fiber of her being. He’d been her soul mate, and she had never been able to imagine herself being with someone else. She knew that now, she’d eventually have to move on with someone else. She couldn’t live her life waiting for a dead man to come alive and enter her life again. She knew Jimmy wouldn’t want her life to stop just because he was no longer there, although she knew that it would be a long while before she started a new relationship.

“I need to go for now,” Leana murmured when she saw what time it was. She needed to make sure she told her own parents that she was pregnant and that they would be expecting a grandchild. She knew that Jimmy had been just as important to them as she was to Barbara and Bill, so she knew they’d want to know about the baby.

“Of course,” Barbara said as she stood up, giving Leana another hug. “I really do mean it about you coming to see us, though,” she said. “Stop by any time. One of us is always here.”

“I’ll do that,” Leana promised, returning the hug before she gave Bill one as well. “And thank you both so much. Neither of you realize how much you mean to me.”

“We know, dear,” Bill said with a happy smile on his own face. “You should know you’re like another daughter to us.”

Leana nodded, and said a few more words of goodbye before she left the house, feeling much more content and at peace than she had a few hours before. Knowing that Jimmy’s parents were supportive of this pregnancy and wanted to be a part of it made her realize that even if Jimmy was gone, she still had his family. And though it wasn’t quite the same thing, it would help her.