If It Means A Lot To You

I sat on the couch watching movies with my best friend, Claudia; I had a bowl of popcorn on my lap, a beer in my hand, and my phone somewhere in the bowl of popcorn. Neither of us were actually watching the movie; we were talking about Claudia’s fiancée, Brendon, and her plans for their wedding, which was quickly approaching.

I popped a piece of popcorn in my mouth as she told me about how I still needed to go with her for my dress fitting when the bowl vibrated. I jumped, the bowl flew from my lap, and popcorn went flying everywhere. We stared at each other as my phone continued to go off, then I quickly got up and grabbed my phone from the floor.

I stared at it completely dumbfounded before I answered. “Hello?” I asked, wondering why Ryan, my ex-boyfriend, was calling.

“Hey,” he said.

I didn’t know what to think; we hadn’t spoken since we broke up a year ago. He’d gone all we can still be friends on me, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. So I went with the first thing I could think of. “Is everything okay?”

I was standing right in front of the TV and Claudia was staring at me curiously. “Yeah, everything’s… great.” He paused. “I was in town and wanted to know if you wanted to…” he paused again and mumbled something under his breath. “Ouch! Um, do you want to hang out tomorrow?”

I turned and tried to hide my confused expression from Claudia. “Why?” I asked completely dumbfounded. Claudia snickered; I was going to interrogate her about anything she knew about this after I got off the phone.

“I am NOT saying that!” he hissed; he sounded farther away. I assumed that he was holding the phone away. “NO! I’ll sound like a douche!” I turned and looked at Claudia, who had now busied herself with picking at her nails. “I am NOT saying that and you can’t fucking make me!”

I took a sip of my beer and let out a small laugh. He sighed and mumbled something unintelligible. “I haven’t seen you in a long time and just wanted to catch up.” He mumbled something else that I didn’t catch.

“Yeah. Because everybody knows that I just want to spend a day with the dick that broke my heart,” I said sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean to,” he said softly.

I snorted. “Didn’t mean to, my ass! Look, it’s nothing personal, but I’d rather have all my teeth pulled out without being knocked out than to spend ten minutes with you.” I hung up promptly before he could change my mind.

I turned to see Claudia staring at me wide-eyed. “Who was that?” she asked; she knew though.

I shrugged. “Ryan.”

She looked like her eyeballs were going to pop out of her head any second. “What did he want?”

I walked back towards the couch and sat down before I answered. “He wanted to hang out tomorrow.” She didn’t say anything; I think she was trying to process everything I had said on the phone and put together the conversation in her head.

She let out a strange noise, covered her mouth, and screamed. I waited patiently for her to say something before I left; I’d left my dog alone and I didn’t always trust him… Well, that’s what my excuse was going to be. “You should’ve said yes! You still like him!”

I gave her the stink eye. She just crossed the line. “I don’t like him!” I grabbed my boots and slid them on over my knee-high socks. I brushed my skirt off and finished the last of my Smirnoff Ice.

“You do!” She paused, eying my keys, then quickly grabbing them. I glared at her and reached for them, but she quickly got up and held them way over my head; damn her for being nearly five inches taller than my 5’4”.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. “Keys.” She shook her head. “Why not?”

She had a smug grin. “Admit you like him.” I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, just do it! It’ll make life easier for you when you’re walking down the aisle with him at my wedding.” My eyes widened.

“Claudia,” I said slowly. She knew that tone all too well.

She nodded. “You heard me. You’re walking down the aisle with him!” She smirked, knowing she had me. “And if you start a fight with him in the middle of my wedding, I will personally murder you.”

I realized I was holding my breath. “I still like him,” I grumbled unwillingly. She smiled and handed me my keys. “I’m going home.”

“Call him!!!” she shouted. “And hang out with him tomorrow!! Please? For me?” I rolled my eyes and mumbled something unintelligible before I left.

I pulled into my driveway ten minutes later and pulled out my phone, trying to get the nerve to call him. I turned off my headlights and cut the engine before I grabbed my keys and got out. I quickly unlocked the front door and got in the house, locking myself in.

I decided I would take a bath before I called him. I knew I couldn’t put it off forever. Once I toweled myself dry and put on some underwear, I grabbed my phone and called him back. I sat on the couch as the phone started to ring.

“Lizz?” he asked in a confused tone.

I let out the breath I realized I’d been holding. “Hi, Ryan,” I said softly. “I was just… I changed my mind.”

I heard a small sigh. “Okay. I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning.”

It was my turn to sigh. “Okay,” I mumbled. “See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” he said, and then the line went dead. I stared at my dog, which had jumped onto the other end of the couch and was wagging his tail.

“What do you think, Gare? I think I’m making a mistake and I’ll just end up hurt again.” He barked and jumped into my lap, licking my cheek. I giggled. “Okay. Come on, Garebear, we’re gonna go sleep now ‘cause I’m going to hell tomorrow.” He jumped off my lap and ran towards the bedroom.

*

I awoke to the familiar sound of my phone ringing. I reached out and unplugged it, answering while I was still half asleep. “Hey,” I mumbled.

“Are you still in bed? I ran the doorbell four times,” Ryan said. I quickly sat up and looked around. I heard Garrett barking in the living room.

“Sorry. Give me a minute and I’ll be right there.” I grabbed a pair of shorts and slid them on, and did the same with the first hoodie I saw before I walked out and unlocked the door. I pulled it open and Ryan stood there with a half smile. “I… Um… Come in?” He gave me an awkward one-armed hug and came in.

“I like what you did with the place,” he said.

I nodded not really knowing what to say. “Did you have breakfast already?” He shook his head and we stood in silence. “Do you want something?”

He shrugged. “Sure.” He smiled. I closed the front door and walked to the kitchen, not caring if he followed me or not. I opened the door to the back yard and let Garrett out before I decided that I was just going to make scrambled eggs and toast.

He sat at the island counter. “How have you been?” he asked as I handed him his plate. It was only then that I took in his appearance. I had to stop myself from saying anything inappropriate.

“Fine, I suppose.” I stood across from him and only talked if he asked something. I put my plate in the dishwasher and excused myself to change my clothes since we were going out somewhere.

I decided on olive-colored cargo skinny jeans and a white shirt, but when I started looking for shoes, I couldn’t find a matching pair. I looked under the bed and only found single shoes, so I decided to look in my walk-in closet. Still, I couldn’t find a matching pair of shoes, except for that one pair of heels that Claudia got for my last Halloween costume.

I cursed loudly and threw a shoe at the wall; it hit something and there was a loud crash. “Is everything okay in there?” I heard Ryan ask.

I unwillingly grabbed the pair of shoes and put them on before I went back to the living room. I should’ve just said no. “Yeah! Everything’s great. Half my shit is missing and I’m stuck in my own personal hell and death trap, not to mention I couldn’t sleep last night and the dog hogged the bed!” I threw my arms in the air. “But everything’s fine.” I rolled my eyes.

He kept a straight face, but I don’t know how. I would’ve laughed if I were him. I was a “grumpy munchkin” as Claudia would’ve put it. “I’m sorry. If you don’t want to go I understand…”

I frowned. “You say that now that I’m fucking dressed! If you said that like half an hour ago, I would’ve stripped and went back to bed!” I crossed my arms over my chest; he came over and hugged me—not one of those lame one-armed hugs. A real hug. He rested his head on top of mine and didn’t let go till I had relaxed.

I sighed; if he didn’t stop soon, I would just be crying because what we had ended. He let go and examined my face. “Better?” I nodded once. “Then let’s go,” he said with a smile. He led me to his car and started driving.

I didn’t really pay attention to where we were going. I did my best to actually respond to whatever he said, even if it didn’t make much sense. I probably blew it when I said that I killed zombies in my spare time. He didn’t try to talk much after that, but I didn’t mind. I liked the silence.

I decided to rest my head against the window and closed my eyes. “We’re here—oh! You’re asleep…” I wanted to see if he was going to say anything bad about me. “Now I can’t ask what movie she wants to see. Shit! What if she doesn’t like it? She said she kills zombies. Okay, horror movie? Action?” He groaned and I could feel him looking at me. “Okay. I’ll go buy the tickets and then I’ll come wake her up.”

I let out a yawn. “Or wake her up now,” he mumbled to himself. “She probably hates me anyway, it doesn’t really matter what we see.” He grabbed my arm and shook me lightly. “Lizz, we’re here.” I yawned again before I opened my eyes and turned to look at him.

I didn’t say anything, but I could see that he was still internally debating what movie we were going to see. I turned to get out of the car then walked around to his side. He gave an absentminded smile before we started walking towards the theater. Once inside, I looked at the screens and pointed. “I wanna see that one!” I exclaimed, referring to the first children’s movie I saw.

He chuckled and bought two tickets. We started walking toward theater 12 when two girls ran up to him. “Ohmigosh! You’re Ryan Ross!” the blonde stated.

He chuckled and nodded. “Can we get a picture with you?” the second one asked. He nodded and I took two steps away from him. The second one turned to me. “Can you take the picture for us?” she asked politely.

I nodded and she handed me her phone. I quickly took the picture and handed it back before the blonde rudely shoved her phone into my hands. I rolled my eyes. “Wait wait wait,” Ryan said, putting his hands in the air. They both stared at him like he was a Greek god or something. “Something’s missing.”

The brunette giggled and I knew I didn’t even want to hear what she was thinking. “Kisses?” the blonde asked. I wanted to gag.

Ryan shook his head. “Well, I’m on a date but she isn’t in the pictures…”

They stared at him, obviously less happy now. “Not happening. Say cheese!” They all smiled and I took the second picture before handing the annoying blonde her phone back.

“Nice meeting you,” Ryan said, walking away from them and putting his arm around me, leading me into the theater. He pulled the door open and held it for me, then followed me in. We sat in the very back in one of the corners.

“What was that about?” I asked, referring to calling me his date. That was NOT what I agreed to.

He shrugged and put his arm around my shoulders. “If I didn’t say you were my date, we would’ve never gotten away.” I stared in horror as the same girls from before walked in and looked around.

“Yep. We got away,” I said sarcastically. I nodded towards the two, who were followed by six more and groaned. He sighed and turned to whisper in my ear.

“Rest your head on my shoulder. Act like a couple. Okay?” I had a knowing smile. I giggled a little too loud, and nodded. The girls look up and ran to get seats next to us. This was going to be fun.

He kissed my cheek and I blushed. I moved slightly so that my lips were by his ear. “I’m gonna kick your ass later for putting me through this,” I whispered in a cheery tone. I kissed his jaw then turned my head and stared blankly at the screen while some advertisement played.

I could feel all the underage jealous fangirls staring. I leaned my head against his shoulder and let out a small sigh. I’d already seen this movie with Claudia two days ago. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as a camera flashed and one of the girls got a picture.

Some of them whispered loudly and giggled; I knew they were talking about me. “Ryan,” I whispered after the movie had started. “They’re talking about me.” I frowned.

“Do you want to go?” he whispered back. He turned his attention from the screen to me; I sat up in my seat and nodded. He brushed my hair out of my face and kissed my forehead. “Okay.” We got up and left without anybody following us.

He handed me his keys when we were out of the theater. “Can you start the car? I’ll be right out.” I nodded and took the keys; I guessed this was just so that the girls would get confused if they DID follow. I left the building and went to the car, starting it after I was inside.

I took out my phone and went through my unread messages from Claudia which consisted of everything from “Why aren’t you replying??!” to “Don’t get knocked up, Lizzybear!” to “Oh my god! You eloped, didn’t you?!?”

I rolled my eyes and typed out my response: You’re overdramatic. We left the movie early. This is a disaster so far.

I pressed send and screamed when there was a knock on the door. I looked over and it was just Ryan, so I quickly hit the unlock button. “What was that about?” he asked.

I shrugged. “You scared me.” He chuckled and left the parking lot; this time, we actually had something to talk about.

I wondered what Claudia was doing as he drove to who knows where. When the conversation died, he turned on the radio. By then, I was preoccupied with the fact that I blushed when he kissed my cheek and if he had noticed.

“What?” he asked suddenly, turning on his blinker.

I looked over, confusion all over my face. “What, what?”

He raised an eyebrow as he turned into a parking lot. “You said something.”

I cocked my head to the side. “I did? What did I say?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t understand. That’s why I was asking…”

I blushed and looked out the window. “I don’t know.”

*

I shook my head. “No way. I am NOT letting you pay for me.” I threw a twenty at him for what I had ordered.

He shook his head. “I’m paying for you,” he disagreed. There were people staring at us.

I frowned. “No you aren’t! Just keep the stupid twenty!” He got a thoughtful look then sighed in defeat. I smirked as everybody went back to their lunches. He got up and went to pay the bill while I drank the last of my drink. I stood when he came back.

“So what now, Ross?” I asked, a small smile forming on my lips. He wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out of the over-priced restaurant. His hand lingered on my hip and I looked down, giving his hand a questioning look.

He didn’t say anything; he just smiled as we walked on the sidewalk. “Ryan,” I groaned. “Where are we going??”

“You’ll see,” he answered. I rolled my eyes. Finally, he led me into a store.

I looked up at him. “You can’t be serious. I am NOT trying on clothes. Or shoes. Or anything. NO!”

He smirked. “I’ll make a deal with you,” he offered. I raised an eyebrow and he continued. “I’ll try on whatever you pick for me, but you have to try on what I pick for you.”

I thought about it for a minute. At the very least, it would provide a good laugh. “Deal. No complaining, though.” He nodded and we parted ways in the store. I looked around for anything that would make him feel as awkward as I felt when we were in the movies. And then it hit me.

I looked around the store, searching the clothes racks. And then I found it. I grabbed it and went to meet him by the dressing rooms. He handed me three or four hangers. I smirked and handed him the single hanger. His eyes widened then narrowed and he grumbled something unintelligible.

I went into the first dressing room I saw and tried to figure out how he intended me to wear this. “Ryan,” I said softly, knowing he was in the dressing room next to mine. “How the hell am I supposed to wear this?”

He mumbled something and I sighed before I stripped. I decided the white shirt was going on first, followed by the sand colored skirt with ruffles. It didn’t look right, so I put on the waistcoat. I was surprised that I actually liked it. I twirled around, admiring how it fit me.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked. I stopped and looked around suspiciously.

“Nothing,” I answered.

“Come here. I am NOT leaving this dressing room like this.” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re in the room next to mine, right?” I asked. He quickly responded and I dropped to the floor, then crawled into his room. I stood quickly and had to cover my mouth so I didn’t giggle upon actually seeing him in the pink dress I had picked for him.

Once I composed myself, I thought for a minute. “Turn.” He rolled his eyes and turned slowly. I smiled. “I like it.” I nodded to myself.

He gave me a once over. “What I’m wearing or what you’re wearing?”

I smiled. “Both. I don’t think that dress would look as good on me, though.” I shook my head. He pushed me against the wall and my eyes widened. “Ryan, there’s no need to put on an act right now. Nobody’s watching us.”

My breath caught in my throat when he moved in closer and his cheek brushed against mine. “Who said anything about acting?” he whispered, his hot breath hitting my skin made me shiver.

“Sorry, Ross. I don’t kiss dudes in dresses.” I politely pushed him away and left his dressing room the same way I entered. I changed out of the store clothes and put mine back on. I sat on the chair in the room until I had completely recomposed myself.

I grabbed the clothes on the hanger and left the room. Things were awkward between us again. He led me to the checkout and bought everything that I had tried on, along with the dress I didn’t try on. I eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t bother protesting. I knew he would have his way in the end.

We spent the rest of the day shopping at various stores. At around seven, he finally started leading be back to the car. He put the bags in the trunk and started driving me home.

When we were ten minutes from my house, I realized that I hadn’t thanked him for most of the stuff that he bought me today. Before I could stop myself, I leaned over and kissed his cheek. The car slowed as we approached a red light. “What was that for?” he asked.

I let out a small sigh. “Thanks. For everything. I actually had a really good day,” I admitted. The car stopped and he leaned over and pecked my lips. My eyes widened and I blushed.

“You’re welcome.” He had a thoughtful look. “What are your plans for the rest of the week?”

I shrugged. “I don’t have to work this week. The only thing I have to do is that fitting on Saturday…” I shook my head. “That’s it. Why?”

He smiled. “Beach house?” I raised an eyebrow. I hadn’t been there with him since we were in a serious relationship.

“Just you and me?” I asked. He nodded. “I can’t leave Garebear, though.”

“Bring him,” he shrugged.

I thought about it. “And what am I supposed to tell Claudia when she calls and wonders why I’m not complaining about…. Toast?” I improvised the last part.

He laughed as the light turned green. “Toast? Really?” I nodded once. “Tell her you went on vacation. Spontaneously.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Okay. Just um… Drop me off and let me pack some stuff, I guess.” He nodded and pulled into my driveway a minute later.

“I’ll see you in an hour,” he offered. He popped the trunk and got out, grabbing the bags with my stuff and carrying them into the house for me. He hugged me and kissed my forehead before he left.

I quickly pulled out my phone and called Claudia as I went to the back door and let Garrett in. I fed him then went to find my zebra print suitcase. “LIZZYBEAR!” she squealed. “I was wondering what took you so long to call.” She giggled. “I was starting to think he kidnapped you or something.”

I smiled. “Nah.” I offered as I started stuffing some clothes in.

“Tell me EVERYTHING,” she demanded as I went through the bags. I pulled out a pair of flipflops and tossed them in my suitcase as I started telling her about my day, leaving out small details or things that would make her flip completely.

I decided I would change into something more comfortable, so I put on a pair of jean shorts, purple high-top Converse, and a Batman hoodie. “I have to go,” I said suddenly when I heard the knock on my door. “I’ll text you later.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “Bye!” I grabbed my phone charger and ran to the living room just as the door opened.

“Hi, Ryan,” I said, grabbing the leash and clipping it on Garrett’s collar. I zipped my suitcase and grabbed my house keys.

“That’s everything?” he asked. I nodded and he took my bag. I went around the house and made sure all my lights were off and the doors were locked before Garrett and I went out to his car. Garrett jumped into the backseat and sat, wagging his tail.

*

It was nearly ten when we got there. I fell over on Ryan’s shoulder. “Are we there yet?” I mumbled. “I need a potty break.”

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. “Yeah. We’re here,” he said softly. He handed me a key. “You can go unlock the door. I’ll get our bags.” I smiled.

“’Kay,” I mumbled. I opened the door and got out, then let Garrett out, letting him run around instead of bothering to grab his leash. I stumbled to the front door of the beach house and unlocked it, leaving the door open and putting the key on the counter as I walked by. I drew in a deep breath and looked around.

Ryan came in a minute later and dropped the bags on the floor. I groaned when my phone rang. I looked at it. “It’s Claudia,” I said quietly. He nodded and took our bags to the only bedroom in the house. I pressed the green button and held it to my ear.

“You never texted me!” she whined.

I sighed. “I was… Sorry. I’m just…” I closed the door after Garrett ran in, then walked into the living room and sat in one of the chairs by one of the windows that reached from the floor to the ceiling. I stared out at the ocean and smiled to myself.

“Where are you?” she asked. “I went to your house but you weren’t there…”

I shrugged. “I went out.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” Ryan said. I turned to see him smiling at me. I nodded and he disappeared, so I turned and stared out the window again.

“Who was that?” Claudia asked. “I heard a dude!” She was probably going through a list of people I would’ve chosen to hang out with instead of her.

I giggled. “You’re losing it.” I shook my head.

“Oh. Well, when are you gonna be back?”

I pretended to think about it as Garrett made himself at home on the couch. “A few days,” I finally answered.

“Dammit, he was right!” she cursed.

“But I’ll be back by Saturday,” I added. “Probably Friday night. You can camp out at my house if you want to.” I mentally kicked myself for the last part. She would. And then she would know.

“But I’m going to be with Brendon on Friday night….. Where are you at, anyway???” I groaned.

“The living room,” I answered, going with the first thing that did not involve the beach, or Ryan.

She groaned now. “WHO’S living room? Ryan’s? Brendon said he can’t find Ryan.”

I thought about it for a minute. “I don’t know where Ryan is,” I answered. “I have to go. I’m crazy tired.” I nodded to myself. “Night, Claudia.” I hung up quickly and then got up, walking into the bedroom. I took one look at the bed, remembered that Claudia and Brendon spent the night here last week, and went back to the couch.

*

I woke up on the floor. I didn’t question it; I always moved around a lot in my sleep. I looked around; I wasn’t sure if Ryan was up yet, but I knew Garrett was because he came over, barked, and licked my face. “Go away, Mutt,” I giggled, pushing the black and white dog away.

I sat up and pushed my hair out of my face. “Finally up?” Ryan chuckled. I turned slowly to see Ryan standing in the kitchen. I stood and stretched.

“Not yet,” I said before I went into the bedroom. I opened my bag and found my toothbrush then disappeared into the bathroom. I came out when my breath was minty fresh and I felt wide awake.

I skipped out into the kitchen and up to Ryan; he made me feel like a shrimp. “What do you want for breakfast?” he asked, opening a cupboard. I thought for a minute. “Because there’s no food here.” He laughed.

I sighed. “Then why did you ask?” I jumped to sit on the counter so I would feel taller.

He chuckled. “Well, if you want, we can go out for breakfast…” he trailed off as he came over and stood between my legs. “Or…” I didn’t pay attention to what he was saying. I was focusing on keeping my breathing steady and the fact that I wanted him to kiss me. I was also trying to forget the fact that his hands were rubbing my thighs. “So which is it?”

My eyes widened. “Wait, what are my options again?”

He chuckled. “Go out for breakfast, or go food shopping and then cook here.”

I thought for a minute. “If I go food shopping while I’m hungry, we’re just going to bring back the whole store…. Breakfast and then shopping?” I asked. He nodded but didn’t move. “Where are you taking me for breakfast?”

Ryan had a thoughtful look. “IHOP?” he asked. I watched him watch my reaction. I nodded. His eyes went from mine down to my lips, and back to my eyes. I blushed.

“I’m not changing then,” I decided. I poked his shoulder. “But you should go put on non-pajama clothes.”

A small sigh left his parted lips. “Yeah.” I waited for him to move, but he still didn’t. I bit my lip anxiously, and then, as if he got the message, he leaned in slowly, and pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me slowly then teasingly pulled back half an inch.

He smirked. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger. I was going to tackle him later. Not so high and mighty now, are you, Ryan?! My eyes widened when I realized he said something and I missed it. Again. I nodded, hoping that he only wanted a yes or no answer. He chuckled and pecked my lips again. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be right back.” He kissed me again then walked away.

Claudia would have a cow if she knew. I bet she knew already. I bet that she and Brendon were halfway here. Bitch.

I jumped down from the counter and ran to grab my phone, quickly dialing her number. “What the hell do you want at nine in the morning?” she mumbled.

I let out a sigh of relief. “I was just calling you to say hi,” I said, sounding out of breath.

The was a small silence. “Who are you with?”

“What?” I asked, watching for Ryan to come out. I probably had at least thirty minutes. He was such a diva.

She giggled. “You’re out of breath. Why? Who’s there with you?”

I rolled my eyes. “A guy.”

“IT’S RYAN, ISN’T IT?!”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m with Garrett,” I said, making sure that I didn’t lie.

She sighed. “Okay. I’m going back to bed. You don’t have to call the whole time you’re gone. I’ll interrogate you on Saturday.”

I rolled my eyes again, knowing that she would. “Have fun planning your questions.” I sighed. “Bye.”

“Bye,” she mumbled. And then the line went dead. I stuck my phone in my pocket and tiptoed to the hallway and looked in the open door. Ryan spotted me in the mirror and turned.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I walked into the room. “You take more time getting ready than me,” I pointed out.

He chuckled and put on his shoes. “I’m ready,” he said and came over. He leaned down like he was going to kiss me, but I smirked and turned and skipped out of the room.

“Bye, Gare! BEHAVE you bad boy!” He ran over and I kissed him before I found the door and left the house.

*

I sat on the bottom step of the porch. It was Friday afternoon. Somehow, during the week, all the differences that there had been between us disappeared and I fell for Ryan all over again. I wiped my eyes and drew in a deep breath before I got up and went back inside. I found all my clothes that were scattered in various places of the house and stuffed them into my suitcase.

When I had managed to pack everything, I dragged the two bags to the door and found Garrett’s leash, clipping it to his collar, as I waited for Ryan to get back from whatever he was doing.

The door opened after a few minutes of my dancing with the dog. I straightened up and blushed. “Ready to go?” he asked, holding something behind his back. I nodded, wondering what it could be. He smiled and held out a dozen roses. “These are for you,” he said quietly.

I blushed and took them. He kissed my temple then grabbed the bags and took them to the car. I took Garrett out to the car as I grabbed the card from the flowers. “I got everything I could find, but you might wanna go back and double check,” I said, slightly preoccupied. I opened the back door for the dog and he jumped in, then I got in the passenger’s seat and read what he had scribbled on the card.

Lizz,
I know we’ve been through a lot.
This week has been incredible.
Be mine?

Ryan

I smiled to myself and stuck the card in my pocket. I watched him as he came out of the house, and walked to the car. This was going to be the longest drive of my life.

*

When Claudia and I left the fitting, I was starving. “Can we get food?” I asked. “I want Mexican. NO! Chinese!” I thought for a minute as I climbed in her car and buckled my seatbelt. “Hot wings.” I pursed my lips. “AND A SAMMICH!!”

She stared at me wide-eyed. “You eat like a pregnant woman.”

I glared at her. “I do not. But I want some pickles, too.”

She rolled her eyes and started the car. “Your new name is Spermy.”

“What? That doesn’t even make sense!” I protested. I’d managed to avoid any questions about where I’d spent the last week and any questions that concerned Ryan.

She shrugged. “Okay, seriously, what do you want to eat?”

I thought for a minute. “Pineapple teriyaki chicken,” I said, licking my lips. “And toast. With butter… OH my god! I want ice cream too. Strawberry. NO! Make that frozen yogurt. I don’t want to get fat.”

She just laughed. “Okay, we’re going to Subway.”

I frowned. “You’ll never win me over with Subway. The one way to Lizz’s heart is through her stomach.” I nodded.

“So… Ryan won you over? Didn’t he take you out to eat like five times or something?”

I glared at her. “It was twice and I paid for my own food!” She was right though. I mentally added in the five other times during the week he took me out and made a mental note to buy him something nice.

“I’m going to set you up on a date with him,” she said in a smug tone. “Since you don’t have a boyfriend.”

I threw my arms in the air. “Why do I need a boyfriend?!” I still hadn’t told Ryan yes. I decided that was a good time to so as to avoid Claudia setting us up on a date. But then she would be suspicious. I pulled out my phone and went to my messages.

I opened a new message to Ryan and quickly typed out what I needed to. “Because if you don’t have a boyfriend, you won’t get married, and you will die alone with a jar of pickles, Spermy.”

I watched as she passed the road that Subway was on. “You missed the turn.”

She giggled. “We’re meeting someone for lunch instead.” I groaned. Last time she said that, I was forced to sit through an hour of her and Brendon making out for an hour while I awkwardly pushed a piece of broccoli around on my plate and talked to the dude at the table beside ours. He was a third wheel, too.

“Don’t worry! They’re cute.”

I grimaced. “So help me if you make out with him while I am eating, I will fucking pour my drink on you,” I threatened.

She giggled. “I think you’ll be distracted.” She turned onto the road to my favorite Mexican restaurant. “Cute boy. Good food.”

“Food.”

“Ryan.”

My phone vibrated and I looked at his response, smiling to myself. “What about him?”

I stuck my phone in my pocket as she pulled into the parking lot. I bounced happily in my seat as she parked the car. “He’s here.”

My eyes widened in shock and then I realized, I had to fake being completely pissed. “That’s not fair! What the hell did I do to deserve that?!?” I crossed my arms over my chest and stomped towards the door, inevitably running into it when I couldn’t get it open fast enough.

Claudia laughed, of course, as I walked into the restaurant and was waved over by Brendon. I looked behind me and saw Claudia, so I slowly walked over to the table, sitting on the opposite side of Brendon. Ryan wasn’t in the booth.

I eyed Claudia and mumbled something that she didn’t hear. “We ordered for you already,” Brendon said. “You guys were taking forever.”

I groaned and tried to look around the restaurant. I stopped when my eyes settled on Ryan walking toward the table. He smiled and I scooted toward the wall. “Food,” I said, staring at Claudia.

She clapped her hands when Ryan sat down. “See, Lizz! I didn’t even lie!”

I looked down at the table. “What are you doing here?” I mumbled so only Ryan could hear me; Claudia and Brendon were… greeting each other.

He lowered his head and tilted his head in the opposite direction. “Brendon just said we were going for lunch,” he murmured.

“They planned it,” I whispered, stretching my arms in front of me and then resting my hands in my lap. “I think they know.”

I turned my eyes to him to see him nodding. “Brendon,” he said louder. I looked up to see Brendon and Claudia jumping a few inches away from each other. “Why are we even here?”

Brendon chuckled. “Isn’t it obvious?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said as the waiter came over and put down four plates. I smiled widely when my favorite dish was placed in front of me. “FOOD!” I squealed.

Claudia nodded. “You’re good, Lizz,” she said, grabbing her fork. I grabbed my fork and dug it into the delicious chicken enchiladas. I managed to finish half before I was stuffed. I pushed my plate away from myself and sighed in contentment. Claudia and Brendon were sucking face again. I rolled my eyes.

“They never stop, do they?” Ryan asked quietly. I shook my head.

“I’m bored. Entertain me, Ross,” I said with a smirk. I wondered what he would come up with.

He eyed me curiously for a minute then pushed his plate away. “I’m stuffed,” he announced. He put his hands on his lap, then looked over at me and smirked. He looked across the table and put his hand on my knee. “Are you nervous?”

“No,” I said, looking around the restaurant. Claudia giggled and I didn’t even want to know where Brendon’s hand was.

Ryan slid his hand up my thigh. “Are you nervous?” I subtly shook my head. I watched the couple across the table, grimacing. Ryan’s hand slid farther up my leg; he gave me a questioning look. I shook my head again.

“Ohh my god! Will you two please stop?!” I said, slightly too loud; and then, Ryan leaned closer and kissed me, just as Claudia and Brendon jumped apart. My eyelids closed involuntarily and I blushed as his lips moved against mine.

“Pay up, Bren,” Claudia giggled.

Ryan pulled away half an inch. “Are you nervous?”

I melted when I looked into his eyes. “No,” I squeaked. He smirked and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.

“You don’t have to worry about taking Lizz home, Claudia,” Ryan said.

Claudia giggled and wiggled her eyebrows. “Have fun, Spermy.” He pulled a twenty out of his pocket and put it on the table before he got up from the booth. I got up and then we left.

*

The day of the wedding was stressful. Mainly, getting ready. Twenty minutes before Claudia was going to walk down the aisle, she decided that now was the time for her to be sociable. “Hi, Spermy,” she said, sitting next to me. I turned and awkwardly tried to cover my left hand.

“Hi,” I said quietly. “How’s it feel to know that you aren’t going to be you anymore?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Holy shit, you’re right!” She eyed my hand suspiciously, grabbed my wrist and gasped. “WHEN!?”

I blushed. “Two days ago,” I admitted, knowing that we’d only been together for maybe two months.

She glared. “You didn’t tell me?!”

I shrugged. “I did. You were drunk as a skunk.”

She pouted. “I don’t remember!”

I giggled. “Bachelorette party.” Her mouth formed an O shape.

“Are you holding any other secrets?” She eyed my engagement ring then glanced at my stomach. “Like… Should I be expecting babies?”

I scoffed. “You might call me Spermy, but I am NOT knocked up. I could really go for a burrito, though.” I licked my lips. She was right; I was always eating. And then I started thinking about it. Which brought panic, because my period was late.

I was hyperventilating by the time I had to walk down the aisle with Ryan. And when the wedding was over and everybody went to the reception, Ryan stayed in the car with me; because I still couldn’t breathe.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, pulling me into his arms. I nodded and he brushed a piece of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “No you aren’t.” He pressed his lips to my temple and rocked me from side to side.

After a few minutes, I felt better. “Thanks, Ry,” I murmured. “Can we go in now?” He nodded and we got out of his car. He met me at the back of the car and took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together as the limo for Claudia and Brendon pulled up. I looked up at him, then to the limo, and back to him.

He seemed to have the same idea and we ran to the limo. We got in before the limo came to a complete stop. “GO!” Ryan urged the drive. He turned in his seat.

“Are you Mr. And Mrs. Urie?” the driver asked. Ryan and I looked at each other with the same smile.

“Yes, we are,” Ryan answered. The driver nodded and the window between the front and back closed as the car started moving.

“Oh, and Ryan?” I asked. He smiled, letting me know I had his attention. “I think I’m pregnant.”