Don't Leave Me Broken

Madison heard a knock on the door, but shook her head. She wiped her nose on the long-sleeved, oversized, flannel shirt she was wearing over an oversized plain white tee. She didn't give a damn who was at her door. All she cared about were the scrapboks spread around her ont the bed, with the pictures of them together. She sniffled again and heard the front door open. It was either him or Breah. They were the only ones who knew where the spare key was. She heard foosteps up the stairs and realized it was Breah. His footsteps were heavier and slower. Madison stared at the pictures in front of her, traced his face, and turned the page.

"Mads, what are you doing?" Breah asked, exasperated. She walked over to the bed, picked up some scrapbooks and sat cross-legged next to Madison. Madison stared at her for a minute, speechless. Did she really just move her scarpbooks? Madison snatched the scrapbooks from Breah's hands and stuck them under the one that was already in her lap.

"Trying to stay organized." Madison said, snottily, with a glare. Breah took a deep breath.

"Madison, do you even know what today is?" Madison looked up from the pictures at Breah.

"If it's your birthday, I don't care."

"It's not my birthday, I'm not that self-centered. Just tell me what day of the week it is." Shit, Madison didn't know. She did know she hadn't slept in a while. She looked around the room, searching for a clue, but all she saw were memories. Madison sighed.

"Tuesday?" She asked, pretending like she might have an idea.

"Saturday."

"Close enough."

"Yeah, at least you still know what a week is. Madison, look at yourself." Madison continued to stare at the pictures. God, he had such a beautful smile. The dimples, the perfect teeth, the lips. "Mads, sweetheart, you can't do this forever. You have a job you have to go to. You have a neice and nephew who really miss you. Your friends don't know what to do with themselves anymore."

"Just go back home Breah."

"Madison." Breah grabbed her face in her hands and turned her head to look at her. "Matt's gone. He left. He's coming to get his stuff later today and you look like death. Do you want him to see you like this?" Madison glared. She ripped her face fom Breah's grip, turned away from her concerned look, and jumped up.

"You don't get it, do you Breah? Matt was my everything! My reason for living. My love. I gave him everything and he left and took it with him, I can't live without him, because all of me is gone. Gone with him. I am empty. I have no feelings, no nothing. You will never understand." Breah opened her mouth to speak, but Madison wouldn't let her. "No, Bree, just go back to your perfect house, with your prefect husband, and your perfect little children and tell everyone I don't give a damn about them. All I want is Matt." Breah stared at Madison. Both the women had tears in their eyes. Breah stood up and looked at Madison.

"I have empathy and compassion for you Madison. I can look at you and tell how broken you are. I just have no idea how it feels to be broken like that. We're best friends Mads. I just wanna help you. Will you let me help you?" Madison shook her head.

"Just go." Breah sighed and shook her head as well. She grabbed Madison in a hug and Madison let herself go. She wrapped her arms around Breah and sobbed into her shoulder. Breah rubbed her back and let her cry. The girls must have stood there for fifteen minutes before Breah led a still sobbing Madison to the bed, where they sat. Madison just turned into Breah again and continued to cry. A half hour later, Madison was blowing her nose and Breah was rubbing her back. Somewhere in the room a phone rang. Madison sat up and Breah looked around. She stood up and started throwing around clothes, trying to find the phone. Finally, she discoevered it under a t-shirt and answered it.

"Hello?"
"Breah? Is Madsi-Madison there?" Breah bit her lip when she heard Matt's voice.
"She can't talk right now." Madison perked up and asked who it was. Breah shooed her.
"Okay, well, can you tell her I'll be there in about an hour and a half to get everything?" Matt sounded reserved, too polite, and kind of scared. Breah nodded.
"Yeah, Matt. I'll tell her. Bye." Breah shut off the phone and set it on the dresser. She turned to look at Madison. "Matt'll be here in about an hour to get his things." Madison looked at the window. "Mads. C'mon, at least go brush your teeth." Madison glared at Breah.

"I've brushed my teeth."

"Yeah, and that's it. Just take a shower, please? I'll go downstairs and put his stuff in the boxes."

"No, no, I'll take a shower and do it." Breah sighed.

"Fine, but I'm cleaning down there. Go get in the shower." Breah waited until Madison was in the bathroom and the water was turned on to go downstairs and pick up the living room and kitchen. Breah stacked pizza box on top of pizza box and took them out to the recycling bin along with a million cans. She grabbed a trash bag and started shoving everything that wasn't recyclable in it.

Madison got dressed, blow dryed her hair, and threw it up in a ponytail. She walked downstairs to hear the dishwasher going and Breah hand washing dishes. "Bre, what are you doing?" Madison asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Washing the dishes, duh. What are you wearing?" Breah asked, looking over at Madison. Madison was wearing pretty much what she had on when Breah had arrived. Except she was wearing her own jeans instead of Matt's boxers. She still had on one of his shirts with one of his long sleeved flannels over it.

"Clothes." Madison walked to the garage and pulled as many boxes as she could at once inside.

"So, he's gonna show up, expecting all his stuff, and you're just gonna give him everything, wearing his clothes?"

"I told him if he ever broke it off with me I was keeping all his plaid flannels." Madison answered as she walked in with more boxes. She sniffled.

"You sure you don't want me to help you pack uo his stuff?"

"No, I should do it on my own. Just, keep washing dishes."

"Whatever you wish." Madison pulled half the boxes upstairs and started foraging through all the clothes on the floor. Yes, she was giving him dirty clothes. He deserved it, the bastard. Leaving her when she needed him most. She blew out a breath as she started folding shirts and jeans. She rummaged through the drawers, throwing all his boxers and shirts on the bed. She tore through the closet ripping his jeans ans shirts off hangers, throwing what she was keeping and what she was giving back into two different piles.

She went to the bathroom and grabbed all his body wash, cologne, aftershave and razors, tossing them in a box, hoping he cut himself on one of the razors. As much as she missed Matt and wanted him back, she hated him. How was he just gonna come home one day, eat the dinner she cooked for him, take a nap in their bed, and as soon as he wakes up, tell her it isn't gonna work out. She laughed at first, unsure. Then he told her he was serious, and she cried. He tried to console her and she screamed. She screamed at him, and hit him, and finally, after her voice had grown hoarse, she kicked him out. Then after she realized he was gone and for good, she went upstairs, changed into his clothes and cried for hours. She hadn't seen him since she kicked him out two weeks ago. She hadn't slept a full night since the night she kicked him out. Madison was a strong girl, nothing phased her ever, except for Matt, and she hated him for that. She hated him for gettign under skin and making her trust him completely. She hated him for making her love him and then leaving her broken.

Madison looked at the clock on the wall and then around the room. She had finished with all his stuff up here. She heard Breah cussing downstais, so she figured she was moving all his stuff in from the garage. She shook her head, Breah could be such an idiot sometimes. Matt could just grab his own shit from the garage. SHe walked downstairs, where Breah was wiping her hands off on her jeans.

"You done up there?" She asked, glancing upstairs. Madison nodded.

"I'll just let him walk it down the stairs though." Breah nodded and looked around the house. Madison followed her eyes and realized that Breah had packed up some stuff. Matt's awards were nowhere to be seen and all the pictures had been taken down. It looked so empty, so naked. A phone beeped and Breah pulled her phone out of her pocket. She sighed as she read a text message.

"I gotta go. Zack apparently can't handle the kids by himself." Madison chuckled.

"It's alright. Matt'll be here soon anyway and I'd kinda like to deal with that myself." Breah stared at Madison for a long minute and then she nodded her head.

"Alright." She squeezed Madison into a hug and they stayed like that for a minute, slightly swaying. Breah kissed Madison's cheek. "I love you. Will you please call me later?" Madison nodded.

"Yes. I'll call you."

"Okay. I love you Mads." Madison nodded as Break opened the door.

"Hey Bre?" Breah looked at Madison. "Thanks." Break smiled softly.

"Anytime." Breah closed the door and Madison was left alone in her empty, cold house. She checked the fridge, seeing that nothing was in there. Not that that was a surprise. She sighed, wishing for something to drink, seeing as her mouth had suddenly gone dry. The doorbell rang and Madison swalloed the lump in her throat. She walked calmyly to the door and tried to keep her hands from shaking. She opened to door and looked up. Matt was standing there, looking good as ever. His hair had been cut about a week ago, she estimated. He was wearing jeans, a band tee, and a jacket. Madison sighed and stepped aside. Matt smiled smally and stepped in, eyeing Madison in his clothes.

"Guess you weren't lieing." Matt said. Madison looked up at him. "The clothes." Madison nodded.

"Oh yeah."

"I see you, uh, packed up... everything."

"For the most part. That's all your stuff from in here and in the garage. All your clothes and stuff's upstairs in the room." Matt nodded.

"Okay." He looked at Madison, who was doing her best not to look at him. "Madsi-Madison, I'm sorry."

"Don't talk Matt, just get your shit and go."

"Madison, you're still mad at me and I can understand that, but we don't really have different groups of friends. You could at least try to be civil." Madison raised an eyebrow.

"Don't sit here and read me, Matthew. Just get your shit and go." Matt sighed and headed upstairs and Madison couldn't help but glance at his butt as he climbed the stairs. She cursed him for being so damn good-looking. Madison sat on the couch and watched discreetly as Matt walked up and down the stairs twice and then as he carried all his stuff in the living room to his truck. Matt walked back in and shut the door behind him. Madison watched as he fiddled with his keys. He took off two keys and handed them to Madison.

"The front and back door." Madison nodded as Matt dropped the keys into her out stretched hand. "Are you okay Madison?" Madison looked up at Matt and chuckled dryly.

"No." She answered honestly. "I haven't been okay since I kicked you out. Matt, you're my everything. We haven't been two seperate people in three years and all of a sudden we can be individuals again? I don't think so, it doesn't work that way. When you left, you took all of me with you. You took my trust, my loyalty, my love. Everything I've ever been is you now. I can't go back to being a whole if you have all of me." Matt sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He looked back down and as his eyes met Madison's, she realized they were wet with tears.

"Madison, it just isn't the same. I never wanted to leave you, I never wanted to be away from you, I never wanted to steal you from yourself, but I had to. For you."

"What kind of bullshit is that Matthew?" Madison nearly screamed, standing up.

"The kind of bullshit that I wish you would listen to. I'm not good enough for you Madison. I never have been and I never will be. I can't give you what you deserve. I can't be here for you, because I'm out on the road, or in another city, recording. I'm never here and you don't deserve that."

"I don't give a damn what I do and don't deserve. I love you more than anything Matthew, and I need you if I'm going to function normally again. I never thought you'd leave. I never thought we'd have a last kiss. I never though you'd leave me broken." Matt wiped a tear away.

"Madison, I'm sorry. I just- I can't, I don't want to leave you while you're like this, but we have to be apart, we can't be together, because I'm still in love with you."

"As I am with you, Matt. So just stay and we'll just sit together, quiet, and unpack your stuff tomorrow. Come back." Matt bit his lip and shook his head. He turned around and walked out the door, leaving Madison standing there, her mouth hanging open. She shook her head and laughed at what an asshole she had fallen in love with, until the door opened again. Matt was standing there, setting a box down. He kicked the door shut and walked back to Madison. He grabbed her fierecly, and kissed her with a kind of hunger she'd never experienced from him before. Madison pulled away and just stared at Matt.

"I'll go get the rest of my stuff now." He said, letting go of her. "That is, if I haven't pissed you off for the rest of eternity."

"It'll take a while for us to get back, but we'll be alright." Matt nodded and took a step back. Madison grabbed his wrist, shaking her head. "Those boxes can't wait a little while." She smiled, as she wrapped her arms around Matt's neck and kissed him. Slowly, she could feel herself fitting back together.