Secret Love Affair

"Ugh! Its McFLY turn it off!" Jazzie moans throwing popcorn at the television.

"No don't!" Brooke says snatching the remote away. I laugh and stuff overly salted popcorn covered in not so healthy butter in my mouth. Jazzie and Brooke were sleeping over at my house tonight and McFLY had a concert here in London. We were watching it on television, sitting in our pajamas and eating junk food.

"Jazzie stop attacking my flat screen with popcorn!" I laugh. Jazzie and Dougie had gotten in their third row in two days. This one was apparently pretty big. I wasn't there to

"Brothers! Why are they so, so-" Jazzie makes an ugly face and uses her hands like she's strangling air, "So ugh!"

"I know how you feel Jazzie." Brooke says. "My twin brother is so annoying at times, mum still has to pull at our ears to stop our bickering." She hugs a pillow. Jazzie and Brooke look at me. Jazzie has that teenage thing about her and Brooke seems very sophisticated - well she's like twenty-two or something so of course.

Oh am I supposed to talk about how bad my brother is too?

"Uh...yeah Adrien can make me go suicidal at times." I nod.

"Hey! Let’s give ourselves facemasks and then we can draw all over ourselves and take pictures!" Jazzie said excitedly. She forgets that she is the only one who has time for pictures.

We ran to my room to get our face masks. But before anyone could rest on my bed, I turned into a wannabee superman and raced to hide my picture of me and Dougie. I hear it crash into my shoe rack as I threw it in my closet. (Brooke doesn't know about our relationship).

I cringe at the sound. I blame Dougie if my shoe tower is destroyed.

"Aw dude I'm so tired!" Danny smiles, walking off the stage leaving screaming fans behind. He's smiling because he's been proposed to not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times in ten minutes during the gig.

"You are also sweaty." Harry laughs throwing a towel at him.

Tom and Dougie dance ahead of them to the dressing rooms. A fan had thrown a rose at Dougie so he and tom were ballroom dancing. Dougie had the rose in his mouth.

"Alright boys let's get a bite to eat then you all can go home for the night...well wait...also after some signings out front for your adoring fans." Richard says, mobile glued to his ear and cheek.

Seriously.

Danny and Dougie had decided to do that while Richard was sleeping. They thought Richard would appreciate it since it would be easier to just press the talk button whenever it rings-which is like every two minutes- and not have to keep on getting it in and out of his pocket.

"Hey Lara lives like two minutes away from our flat." Dougie smiles. Tom looks at him with that "look". Dougie throws the rose at Tom. Tom sneezes.

"Yeah so?" Harry asked.

"She's having a slumber party with Jazzie and Brooke from the record company."

"Yeah so?" Harry asked again.

"So? Let's crash it!" Danny cheered.

"Wouldn't they go ballistic though?" Tom asked.

"That is the point." Dougie smiles for two reasons: One) Jazzie will get pissed off and two) Lara. There's no need to explain her.

"Aw yeah! Especially with Jazzie already wanting to kill you!" Harry laughed.

"Now don't get too evil." Richard buds in, "You don't want your mum to pull your ear again." He looks at Dougie.

Tom laughs, "Ha! It's still red!"

"I cont fil ma fis!" Jazzie tries not laughing.

"I cont mof my fis!" I replied with cucumbers falling over my eye. I twitch to get it back on my eye.

"Moofmint nd filng fwill com bick soon." Brooke says painting my nails a punkish green color because Lena and Mina had forced me to take it off for that date weeks and weeks ago.

"Rit" I slowly nod, trying not to make my nose crack. No not my actual nose! The part of my mask that makes my nose.

Its quiet for a moment. I feel at peace as I let the cold nail paint brush slide against my soft nails. I love the feeling of paint brushes on my nails!

"Wet a minit!" Jazzie says. A cucumber falls off her eye and she looks at Brooke, "Oo dint haf a fisil msk!"

My cucumber falls too and I look at Brooke, "oo dint haf a fisil msk!"

Honestly I can be so dumb.

Brooke rolls her eyes, "Duh! I know I don't have one but I was just trying to make you girls feel alright and not victimized if you get the hardcore mask and I don't."

Brooke doesn't need a facial mask. Her skin is as soft as cream. I won't say baby's bottom because their bottoms are covered in poo half the time.

"Hoodcoo?!" I say.

"Yes hardcore. Don't worry your skin will be perfect later." Brooke says. We hear a mobile phone go off in the kitchen, "That's mine. I'll get it." Brooke leaves.

"Hoodcoo ma is!" Jazzie complains. (She said hardcore my ass). I laugh and move my arms around to get blood circulating. Then in the blink of a cucumber eye (mine if you must know), I hear a bottle fall and I feel liquid on my shirt and pants.

"Fook!"

"Poor Danny." Harry chuckles, "He would've wanted to come."

"He shouldn't have gotten drunk and passed out then." Dougie laughed as they got out of Harry's car. Tom and Danny weren't there because beer got the better of them. Dougie and Harry were right outside of Lara's window and the lights and loud music was on. The guys only lived like two minutes away and they could've walked. But these are lazy boys. Remember that. Dougie smiled as they walked. Pissing Jazzie off and seeing Lara all in one night-plus having a great time at a gig: Perfect night.

"Look at the poor broom all broken." Harry sighed, acting like it was alive and had personality. If they were drunk, it would have a personality.

"Just walk away Harry." Dougie pats Harry's shoulder, "Just because you have the same name as a wizard in geeky glasses doesn't mean you have powers. And you drum sticks don't count as a wand either!" Dougie laughs.

I am a clutz.

I am also dumb.

I walked around in my underwear that had a Spiderman design on it. It was one of those short tight underwear briefs that look like a boys underwear but really a girl's underwear, "I just got these pajamas today!" I laugh at myself with Brooke and Jazzie. Red nail polish was the culprit and it made me look like I had a 'friend come early'. I take off my shirt and put on a tanktop, stuffing the pajamas in the laundry machine.

"How much did they cost?" Jazzie asks. Our face masks were now off and our faces were actually pretty smooth and radiant!

"You don't want to know." I reply. It's rare that I go on expensive shopping sprees. Very rare. I continued rambling on and on about my clutzy self, not noticing how much soap I put in the wash.

"...I mean, when I was five, I trip going UP the stairs! Who the hell does that?!" I slam the lid of the machine shut and sit on it with Brooke. Jazzie sits on the floor.

Yes. Now we are going to talk about our "feelings". I let the machine grumble and mumble beneath me.

"Shhh...if you listen to the beats of the machine, you can imagine it talking." I say listening to the laundry machine. Jazzie and Brooke look at me weird.

Cricket cricket

They watch me amuse myself making up dialogue for the laundry machine.

As I say "I.AM.STUPID." multiple times based on the wash beat, Brooke jumps up, "Oh my god!"

"What?" I ask stopping my talk of stupidity. She points at the machine. Jazzie and I follow her pointing finger. But I first notice a soapsuds tail on her bottom.

"Shit!" I scream and jump off. The washer was going haywire.

"Fuck what do we do?" I say.

"Stop cursing!" Brooke screams panicking.

"Thats the first thing we do?!" Jazzie asks.

"Fuckity fuck fuck!" I say pushing buttons. Jazzie laughs and presses a button on the machine as I get a soap suds tail. It looks like a dog tail. I swipe it away. The machine calms down.

"Phew that was close." I say.

I am also a jinx...

Then we hear this big boom and soap falls everywhere. We all scream like little girls (mine being the highest) and panic, trying to stop the machine. It was going faster and louder and more soap was falling out. And remember my laundry room is small.

"Oh you bastard!" Brooke screams, covered in soap.

"Who me?" Jazzie asked shocked.

"No! The fucking laundry machine!"

And I thought she hated cursing...

I began throwing soap in the garbage bin which was useless.

Then I slip and fall. I grabbed onto Jazzie's pajama pants for support only to fall back down - with Jazzie's pants too. Jazzie screams and covers her hellokitty underwear with one hand and puts a hand on her mouth. Her eyes are big and she blushes. I roar with loud laughter and fall in a soap pile as Jazzie slips on the floor too.
"Pretty underwear!" Brooke laughs more as soap suds come about.

"Fuckers I got soap in my eye!" I laugh and cry at the same time. Ah it stings!

"Whats up with you and the work fuck!?" Brooke laughs.

She falls, "Fuck!"

"You like saying fuck too!" Jazzie laughs, trying to stand up.

"Fuckity fuck fuck!" I laugh loudly.

"Ahem." Someone says at the door of the laundry room. By now the whole room was covered in soap. We look up and now I feel like drowning myself in soapsuds.

"Oh fuck." I mumble.

Harry and Dougie are standing there with small smiles on their faces. Dougie and I look at each other. I look away because I am too embarrassed. It gets quiet and the machine dies down to a low, normal rumble.

Oh now it decides to be quiet?

I have a bubble beard on my face, paired with a big white bubble wig. Brooke has a bubble bra on. And Jazzie is a bit busy trying to cover her underwear with soapsuds so Dougie and Harry wouldn't see.

"Crap." She would mumble as her soap underwear broke apart.

"Hi?" I stand up and bubbles fly everywhere. One lands on Dougie's head.

Everyone looks at me, then down at my underwear.

Me and my Spiderman underwear. Dougie stares. Harry averts his eyes to a picture on the wall covered in soap.
I feel myself turn a bit pink and I slowly slide back down amongst the soap and bubbles, avoiding everyone's face.

Great Lara. Just great.

I am mentally drowning myself.

"How did you guys get in?" Brooke asks.

"Well..." Dougie finally looks away, "We were in the neighborhood and we thought we'd drop by. So as we're walking towards the door, we heard screaming and lots of swear words."
"And I thought we had a swear problem!" Harry laughs.

"So we busted in here!" Dougie laughs, "The doors broken by the way."

I am so gullible. I should just drown in the bubbles right now!

"What?!" I scream. Forget about my almost nakedness. I jump up to look at my front door.

I see that it's perfectly fine. My underwear, my see-through tanktop, my door - all perfectly fine.

Dougie and Harry laughed, "The door was unlocked."

"Oh." I smile at Dougie, pulled at his sore ear (the one his mutti [mom if you didn't know] pulled) and sat back in my soap pile like it was part of the territory.

"You two are welcome to join us." I smile sweetly to Dougie.

Or maybe I shouldn't let them in because we might show some PDA (public display of affection if you didn't know). As the guys consider it, we hear Jazzie swear to herself. She's busy trying to make a soap skirt to hide hello kitty.

I said, "You know a quicker way to hide hello kitty would be to sit in the soap pile. Not make a skirt."