Secret Love Affair

It is August first. It was also my last day of work. That was the deal I made with my Dad-slash-boss. So as a celebration of surviving the glares of Sourface and long work nights, I decide to go to a McFLY concert. Act like a groupie from America for a couple hours you know?

As I chow down some leftover Chinese food and think of how Dougie kisses me, I receive this electric shock through my fingers and swell of the heart while in my kitchen.

Like I'm flying.

This brings a story!

I once went to Disneyworld with my family and we had gone on this roller coaster. I had forgotten the name. But I remember the roaring sounds and screams from girls whose voice belongs on a cheerleading team, the sweltering heat of early July and the wet stain of water on my shirt. Wet, sticky, and humid hot.

Yuck.

Adrien had recently dared me to scarf down six hotdogs and then my dad decided to put us on the rollercoaster. Mom was off somewhere in an air-conditioned gift store buying one of those expensive ten dollar plastic Mickey Mouse pens.

As Adrien and I slowly went up the rollercoaster, ricketing sounds making me nervous, everything is fine. Ignore my sunburn on the shoulders! But then as we went through that huge drop that felt like a thousand feet but wasn’t, I began to feel the hotdogs in my tummy. I had felt like I was flying but the hotdogs took the fun away. If you look at the pictures taken while on the ride, I would be the green faced girl in the front row.

Anyways!!!

So I felt like I was flying. But I wasn't sick.

"It’s the Chinese food." I mumble and throw it out. I guess it was sitting in the fridge for awhile. (awhile … more than 2 days!)

"Like OH.MY.GAWD! McFLY!!!" I mimic some rabid fan girl as I walk in McFLY's dressing room. Harry turns around, horrified that it really was some crazy girl that really did try to jump on stage earlier.

"Oh it’s just Lara." Harry relaxes.

"Yes it’s just me." I hug them all, some hugs longer than others, "Ya'll rocked out there."

"Ya'll?" Dougie asked.

"Uh...yeah. Sorry I was watching some movie set in the south." I laugh.

"You all. Sound better?" I wave at a passing Richard. He is once again glued to the phone. I bet Dougie really did glue the phone to him again. I watch Richard pull the phone hard so he could press numbers.

Haha!

"That must hurt." I giggle.

"So uh Lara?" Danny asked nervously. He blushed.

Danny blushed! Lets point and stare!!!

"So uh Danny?" I mimic him. He smiles.

"How's Lena?" He asks.

"She dumped the American dude if that’s what you mean." I smile.

"REALLY?" he asked brightly, "I...uh mean, really?" he asks again not really interested this time but just enough to know his feelings.

"Yeah too Abercrombie for her. She likes more of the rock band but not Ozzy Osborn rock band type." I smile.

"Oh." Danny grins.

I give him the thumbs up and laugh.

"Dude go for it!" Tom says. Danny just finishes his drink.

"So last day of work?" Harry asked.

"Yup and then I leave..." Realization punched me in the face. "...in a couple weeks." I blink and chug my drink to stop talking. I see Dougie look up at me briefly. Realization hits him too.

Even if I wasn’t punched, I felt my gut go up to my upper stomach part and back to the spine. So tension wouldn't build, Dougie went to help Richard get the phone off his face down the hallway and I threw pillows at Tom.

"He's a changed dude." Danny said randomly.

"Huh?" I ask after Tom threw a pillow covered in cold beer at me.

"Like you know- Dougie's changed if he only has ONE porn magazine and he doesn't get drunk that much anymore. Except a couple nights ago...we forced the drink on him then.

"Really?" I ask acting like I don't have a clue on what is going on.

I actually kind of really don’t...

"Yeah you're right Danny!" Tom said, "And he's happy in the mornings. Never grumpy."

"hmmm..." I put on a face of thinking like Harry. Like I'm trying to add two plus two.

I walk with Dougie around the parking lot. Tom, Danny and Harry suggested that I should talk to him. "Pry out his secret about some girl."

HA!

"Don't kiss me." I say to Dougie, "They're watching us." I smile.

"And you're smiling?" Dougie laughs.

"That is because they want you to tell me about your secret someone." I smile again and walk with him.

"Those guys..." Dougie sighs. So we talk about his upcoming trip to the land of sand and sun and wave then we sort of head over to the side of the parking lot where no one can see us except the sky and the stray cat twenty feet away.

"Can they see us?" I ask. Dougie looks around.

"No." and he kisses me. I'm enjoying our moment minus the cat watching us until I get that flying feeling again.

I think I'm going crazy! But I ignore it for awhile.

Then it happened again!

No! No flying! Ignore it Lara!

I can't handle it anymore- whatever it is- and break the kiss.

"As much as I love this, we must get back."

"Awww..." Dougie says.

I kiss him full on the mouth to shut him up, "Later though."

I sat in my bed, smoothing the blankets over my legs. I kept looking at the picture of Dougie and me.
I kept biting my nails.

"Oh this is nerve wrecking!" I scream into my pillow.

It’s that flying feeling. It was foreign yet special. I liked it but feared it. I've ignored it for the past week or so but it screams in an odd rejoicing manner. And then I thought about what Danny said. How Dougie changed...

"Shut up!" I scream to the clicking clock.

And now I am going mad...

I look up at my ceiling and pull the covers close. They smelled like Dougie. I smile like a normal person, my craziness briefly going away. Dougie makes me happy and silly and excited and nervous and safe and open to the world and all giggly like I'm flying... I open my eyes and sit up. If there was a camera man waiting overhead I would've smacked right into the lens!

I'm not going crazy!

Like I'm flying

"Oh god." I mumble.

I have those "special feelings" for him....

Arabella phoned me. I was still in my "flying" state when I answered.

"Hey." I said.

"Hi," she's silent.

"What’s up?" I ask staring at the picture of Dougie and me.

"Oh...nothing. Just lonely here. Watching chick flicks alone." She laughs.

"Where's Lena and mina?" I ask.

"Touring NYU for the thousandth time." She replies.

I giggle and wait for Arabella to giggle with me.

Maybe she's just late.

I wait. Nothing. No giggle. Just munching of popcorn.

"Arabella are you okay?" I ask. She's not giggling and eating popcorn at the same time!

"What? Yeah." She says, "So how is Dougie?" She blurted out,

I frown, "Dougie?" I turn away from the picture of him, "Okay I guess. I saw him today along with Danny Tom and Harry after a concert," I add in a laugh that is way too fake. "And everybody made me talk to Dougie to see if he's really dating some girl! It’s hilarious! He didn't tell me anything!" I laugh again, this time it sounded real.

I hated lying to Arabella.

"uh...why so interested in your sworn enemy?" I ask boldly.

"What? Oh just curious. Listen, send them minus Dougie my loves and XOXO's" She really did say XOXO, "and I'll chat with you later. Got to go bye!" And she hangs up.

"Bye?" But the phones already disconnected. Arabella's acting really weird. I'm acting weird...

I need chocolate.

I think about what’s going to happen when I really DO leave.

"No not now!" I hit my head on the table to get rid of the thought,

"But what is that feeling called though?" I ask myself. I know it’s special! I'm not that dim. But what else is it called???

....uh....

Maybe I am dim...