Secret Love Affair

I'm sitting on the bathroom counter, applying mascara to my long eyelashes, and listening to Arabella rant and rave about her friend Steve.

"I think you'll love him Lara!" She squealed with excitement while brushing her hair.

"That’s nice." I say, mind occupied by Dougie. I'm extra nervous because he's going to be there. If I don't stop our little fling immediately, I might end up making out with him in a closet or something and I don't trust myself to control that situation.

"He's so fun to be around with!"

"Really?" I ask with a sarcastic voice of interest.

"Yes. And I think you should date him."

WAIT!

BREAK!

Like fly through the window break!

"Wait! I'm not going to hook up with anybody!" I say eyes big.

"Oh c'mon! He's so cute for you!" She pleaded.

No. I decide who is cute for me.

And besides, Arabella's version of cute is my version of not interested at all!

"What’s he like?" I ask, showing some annoyance.

"He's tall, very muscular. Likes rock and rap music. Plays soccer. Rich."

"I don't care about money." I say thinking she meant I love guys with money and a great body.

"I know. But he's rich. I just decided to put that in."

I stay silent for a couple minutes, picking at my chipped nail polish.

"Is his nose always in the hair?" I ask.

"No."

"Are his friends cocky and jerky?"

"No. He's friends with Tom, Danny, Harry and that grunge of a cousin Dougie actually."

I like grunge

Well that’s great! Wonderful! Fantastic! Note sarcasm. Arabella Conrad, my best friend, wants me to hook up with one of Dougie's friends...while Dougie is in the same room! Great!

"Uhh...listen Arabella, let me decide for myself if he's good for me. Kay?" I ask smiling at her.

"Sure!" she said happily, "You'll love him though." she said walking out.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt like smashing it. I really do not want to end it with Dougie. I'm ignoring my heart for my best friend.

That sucks.

********

Arabella rang the doorbell as she chatted excitedly with Lena and Mina. I stood there, shy. Dougie was already here at the party because Tom's cute mini car was parked in the driveway. Steve's house was huge! I guess it’s about 8 bedrooms, media room, game room, big kitchen, pool- the whole nine yards.

The door opens and I see a tall guy with nice blonde hair, green eyes and perfect smile. Broad shoulders. I could picture a six pack under a shirt.

He looked cute but he just didn't really shine on me you know?

"Arabella! Good to see you!" he said hugging her. Gosh he looks like an American football player.

WHAT-EVER!

"Nice to see you too!" she smiled, while tightly hugging him back.

"Steve, these are my best friends- Mina, Lena, and Lara." she said with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you all." He said smiling at me. I smiled back in an uninterested way and played with my hair, bored.

I wasn't really bored. I was just acting it.

"Well come on in. Everyone's waiting!" He said letting us in. I was the last to come in and Steve stayed behind to walk with me.

"I'm Steve." He smiled, looking into my eyes.

"I know. Arabella introduced us back there." I say catching up to Mina.

I looked around the house full of people. Loud music was playing and everybody had a beer in hand.

There was no sign of Dougie, although I did wave at Danny who waved back.

Arabella introduced Lena, mina and I to everybody. About 500 of her friends to be exact.

I stayed by Arabella at all times. Because one: To stay away from Steve. Two: Mina was flirting with the DJ so she was too busy for me. Three: Lena went and left me for Danny. And Four: I keep putting off the time to find Dougie. I see every one of the McFLY boys except for Dougie.

I'm standing there next to Arabella, drinking a virgin margarita because I'm the designated driver for the night, listening to some high emo dude tell a funny story about condoms when Steve pops out of nowhere.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asks.

"I guess." I say, actually really getting bored. Sorry but this party was kind of lame when my mind is buzzing on and on about certain people. I had finished my drink within 5 minutes of having it and I was standing there, feeling like I stood out.

"Here, let me give you another drink." He said observing me.

"Oh no that’s okay..." I say as he ignores my protest, takes my drink and motions for me to follow him.

"Fine." I say to myself. I follow Steve into the kitchen. I stand there, in the humongous kitchen, watching Tom make out with his girlfriend, Giovanna.

Steve comes back from the fridge with a cool beer.

"Thanks." I say. So much for being the designated driver.

I pop open the bottle and take a sip.

"So how long are you here for?" he asks leaning against the counter next to me.

"Three weeks." I say catching the eye of Tom as Giovanna left to get another drink. He smiles and comes over.

"Hey Tom." I smile, not sounding bored anymore.

"Hey Lara, Steve." he says, "Having fun?"

I shrug.

"Good. I need to talk to you." he says motioning for me to follow him. I leave Steve without a goodbye, thankful for Tom saving me.

"What’s up?" I ask.

"Do you and Dougie have a thing?" he whispers.

I look at him and smile like he just said something totally random, "No."

"Are you sure? He gave me the same answer."

"Tom, why would you think that? I rarely talk to him actually." I say acting like I'm thinking.

"Okay. Just making sure because if there is, I don't want neither of you two getting hurt because of what Arabella says." he looks at me, knowing that I'm lying.

"Don't worry, Tom. Nothing will happen." I smile and walk away, not going back to the kitchen.

I had to find Dougie.

"Wanna dance?"

Damn! Is he stalking me or something?

********

I'm sitting on the couch, watching Lara from afar. God, she is so beautiful. Not just hot and fit. But beautiful. She walks around, looking like she's looking for someone. I am debating with myself to whether or not to go up to her. Nervousness always got the best of me. Just as I'm getting up, Steve taps her shoulder. She turns around and smiles.

Damn Steve. Great dude but I was going to move in!

He asks her something and outstretches his hand. My heart sinks knowing that he likes her. I watch as Lara seems hesitant.

Say no! Say no!

I walk closer to them so I can hear their conversation.

"Hey Dougie." A girl winks.

"Hey." I say and turn my attention back to Lara.

"Come on Lara. Just one dance." Steve uses his charming smile.

"I, I can’t." she says looking down.

Hope rises within me as she turns him down.

SCORE!

"Do you have a boyfriend or something?" he asks. Lara looks up at Steve. She shakes her head.

DAMN...

"Great! What’s the problem then?"

My gut feels like its sinking.

"Uh...nothing." She smiles and takes his hand. He leads her to the dance floor.

I sit back down on the sofa, feeling a tad bit miserable.

Yet I can't help but watch her.

*****

I take Steve's hand and let him lead me to the middle of the living room which is the dance floor. The DJ puts on some slow song. Some slow-lovey-dovey song that I didn't really care for. I didn't want to dance with Steve. Nice dude but I came here for Dougie thank you very much!

Steve puts a hand on my waste and pulls me closer. I slowly obey, avoiding any eye contact with him.

"Wow you smell good." he whispered in my ear. I'm guessing he tried sending shivers down my back or something.

Didn’t work.

"Excuse me?" I ask politely, showing no interest in his weird pick-up line.

"Angels should smell like you." He said again, clearly trying to make his lips touch my neck as he whispers in my ear again.

Oh my god did he just take a line from a song from New Found Glory???

I roll my eyes and move my neck away from him, "Um...that’s nice." I say and begin to look for Dougie. I spot him within seconds. He's hanging out by a wall, watching me intently. I softly smile as I get excited, even with smell-boy clinging to my waist.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and give him the one moment sign in the process, letting him know I was going to ditch Steve. But I first made sure Arabella was caught in something else to occupy her.

Ha! - No worries. She's flirting with her child hood crush.

"Steve?"

"Yes babe?"

Babe!? Why bitch...

"Can you get me another drink? I'm hecka thirsty." I say.

"Sure." he said, "Stay put." he winked at me. I put on a fake smile. Once he was out of sight, I sneak over to Dougie.

"Follow me from behind." he whispered not looking at me but at his drink. I nod as I look at a portrait of a topless mermaid.

Ha…

Dougie leaves and goes down a hallway. I follow a couple seconds later. Randomly looking at things.

He turns a corner. I follow, smiling, unable to control my excitement.

WAIT! I'm supposed to be ending our little love party! No kissing! Bad Lara! Don't do it!

As I turned at the corner into another hallway, Dougie grabs me and pulls me into a walk in closet. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Shhh..." he whispers, laughing, turning on a small, old light. I nod and be quiet. It was just us. Alone.

Dougie looks into my eyes, and moves a strand of hair out of my face. My hormone-charged body moves closer to him.

"I thought I was out of the picture for a second..." he said, his face getting close to mine.

"You're not." I said with a breathy voice. He lightly kisses me. I forget about everything. It was a soft, nice kiss. Not rough-passionate. But passionate enough to make me want more.

"I want to be with you..." he says about to kiss me again.

BAM!

Reality jolt...

I pull back, remembering my duty of saying no.

"No." I lightly say looking away.

"What?" he asks, not really hearing me.

"No." I say louder, full of guiltiness, "We can’t."

"Are you always going to say that?" he asks kissing me again. I pull away.

"We can't Dougie. I mean it this time. I don't want to mean it. But I mean it." I say shaking my head and backing up.

"You don't mean that." he said trying not to believe me. I guess it'd be hard to believe me since I'm like always making out with him. Now I bet I sound like some player huh?

But then again, who could not believe the sad look on my face?

"Dougie, I mean it. I'm putting my friendship on the line here! You know how hurt Arabella would be if she knew I lied?"

"Do you know how hurt you and I would be if we forget about all of this and just call it a day?"

"Please Dougie. We can't." I say actually wanting to cry.

"No. Lara, listen- I want to be with you. Date you. Alright? I don't care what other people say..." he said grabbing my hands.

"Please Dougie." I shake my head. He wouldn’t give up though!

"I don't know how to say this. I -uh...crap...I'm poetically mental at the moment..."

I laugh lightly.

"But Lara- please. Please. Be with me. We can keep it a secret..."

"Dougie..."

"Lara." he kisses my passionately. I tremble. This really is getting pretty dramatic. Turning down someone I really like.

I break the kiss, "I'm sorry..." I whisper and run out.

As I walk blind with open eyes through the house, I secretly wish he'd come after me.

"I'm leaving." I say to Mina, pulling off the sick act.

"What? Why?"

"Don't feel good. Pass it on to the others?" I ask grabbing my jacket. I could see Dougie from the corner of my eye walk out of the hallway and sit next to Danny who was having the time of his life surrounded by girls.

"Sure. See you later.” she said smiling.

I nod and walk out of the house, chills overcoming me immediately.

I pass Steve who is making out with some Avril Lavigne look alike.

Player

*******

For the first time in two years- I cried over a guy. Lara Keating usually doesn't cry over a boy! So like what Lena does when she's depressed, I bought a small tub of ice cream and watched some boring chick-flick on the television in my hotel room.

As I let some stupid tears slowly roll down my face, my cell phone rang. I ignored it.

"Why does it have to be like this?" I mumble to myself, taking in a big spoonful of chocolate icecream.

"Damn promise! Gosh Arabella...I hope you're happy." I say.

My phone rang again.

Unknown number.

I answer it, "Hello?" I ask numbly.

"You sound depressed." Dougie said.

I sighed.

"How did you get this number?" I ask, trying not to feel happy for hearing his voice.

"Arabella's drunk. I took her mobile for a moment to get your digits."

I lightly laugh.

"So I'm completely shunned out?" he asks.

"Dougie..." I say.

"I'm on the roof." he blurted out.

"What? Here! At the hotel?" I ask shocked.

"Yeah."

"Oh my- Dougie! Stay put!" I say and hang up.

"He's on the roof? What's he going to do? Commit suicide?" I ask myself as I run out the room and to the stairs.

I stop and think about it for a second as I'm climbing my 3 sets of stairs.

"Oh he wouldn't be that crazy...Erm..."

I ran faster and bolted through the rooftop door like superman. And there he was. Dougie Poynter smiling. Not even close to the edge.

I let my shoulders slump as I take in deep breaths.

"What..." deep breath "are you" deep breath "doing here?" I ask watching Dougie smile mischievously.
"Just hanging out." he said simply.

My jaw dropped, "hanging out? On a freaking hotel roof!"

"Exactly." he said throwing a rock over the roof.

"You fucking scared me!" I said walking over to him and slapping his arm. I would've slapped him more but he backed away as I tried to slap his arm continuously.

"OW! How?" he asks clearly enjoying this. He could he not know that telling a girl (that he really likes) that he is on the roof sound like he's going to jump?

Gosh!

"You call me and blurt out that you're on the fucking roof! It sounded like you were going to do something stupid so I came up here! You scared me!" I screamed.

"So you were worried then?" he smiled, acting calm. Which was completely opposite from me.

"I never said that." I crossed my arms, blushing.

"If you didn't have any normal feelings and didn't want to date me then it wouldn't have take you ten seconds or so to get here." He said. I sighed and looked at a billboard sign then him.

It was thirty seconds! Not ten.

"Listen Dougie. We can't be together. I'm sorry." I said calming down and letting sadness take over my feelings.

Dougie looked into my eyes for what seemed like a lifetime.

"Look into my eyes and tell me that you do not want to be with me." He said.

"Dougie, don't."

"Tell me you don't want to be with me."

"It won't work out! I'm leaving in two weeks! You're going to be on tour next month!" I said wanting to cry. I don't want to cry!

"Tell me!"

"You're a famous musician! Millions of girls scream your name! You're going to move on and forget once I'm gone!" I said thinking of all the heartbreaking possibilities.

"Tell me you do not want to be with me!" He said coming up to me, face two inches from mine.

"I DO want to be with you! But I can't! I WON'T!" I screamed, letting a tear fall.

Damn I didn't want to cry.

Dougie's face softened and looked into my eyes. He wiped a tear off my face with his thumb. His touch sent shivers down my back...or maybe because it was like 50 degrees out here and I'm in a tank top.

He looked into my eyes again and softly kissed my cheek.

And then he walked away.

Yeah.....I felt like shit.

I stood there for about five minutes, fighting Arabella's cursed words, forcing them forever out of my mind. I know this sounds cheesy, but I had to follow my heart.

He probably hates me now.

No he doesn’t.

I'm guessing I should run after him.

Well he's probably like half way down the stairwell by now.

Would he take me back?

Gosh! I hate this!

I turned around and ran to the door and down about five flights of stairs when I saw Dougie walking, shoulders slumped.

He looked a tad bit Emo.

I had to catch my breath before I could call out his name.
"Dougie...wait!" I said looking at him desperately, "Just wait a sec."

He turned around as I walked up to him.

"Forget some-"

"Shut up." I said right before I kissed him. He was a little shocked at first but he then kissed me back like he's wanted to do that for the longest time.

I leaned on a wall and pulled him against me with his jacket.

Okay- I'm officially breaking my promise and I don’t care. I may feel a tad bit guilty but does it look like I care?
I mean- come on! My arms and legs are practically wrapped around him!

I pulled away and looked at him. I study his face for about ten seconds until he brought me back to reality.

"Couldn't resist me?" He asked smiling.

"You're so full of it." I said grinning. He looks at me.

"So what does this little gesture mean?" He asks, pointing at me and then himself.

I kissed him quickly and lightly, "It means that I don't care about what other people say anymore, well I do in a way because I still want to keep it a secret if that’s okay. I can't resist you. I think you're hot. And I want to be with you- as in I want to be your girlfriend."

"Perfect." he said kissing me, "You would've gotten me depressed."

"So Arabella's drunk then?" I ask as I let go of him as I leaned on the wall. I held his hand and walked with him down the flights of stairs.

He nods, "She's staying at Steve's for the night."

"That man whore."

"Huh?"

"Well he tries to make a move on me back at the party and then as I leave, he's making out with some girl. I don't care but he could at lease show some respect." I say, kissing Dougie on the cheek because I can't hold it in any longer.

We held hands as we walked back to my room.

It’s kind of funny really; no one would've known we had one of those breakup convos on the roof.

As we were walking down the hallway, I heard Lena and Mina's voice coming out of the elevator down the hall.

"Crap! Hide!" I said pushing Dougie behind a big plant. I fell on Dougie just as Mina and Lena came around the corner. I was well hidden.

"I like this." Dougie whispered, kissing my neck.

"Shhh..." I say as I watched Lena and Mina enter our room.

"Hey where's Lara?" Lena asks.

"Not sure but the TV’s on." Mina said.

"She's been crying." She added on.

"Who? Lara?" Lena asks.

Dougie and I could hear the whole thing because the door wasn't closed all the way and we were in the middle of the hallway, sneaking past the door.

"Of course! She was apparently in the middle of eating a tub of ice cream. That means she was crying." Mina said.

I stop and look at the door. Dougie looks at me. He smiles, "You were crying?"

"I wasn't crying!" I whisper, blushing. He read me like a book and he knew I was lying.

"I didn't know it was that hard to turn me down." He smirked. I punched his arm really hard.

"Ow!" He said.

"Lara is that you?" Mina asks

"Crap!" they heard us! So the first thing I do is act drunk. It was the only thing that first came to my mind. So I stood up and started stumbling and slurring my words. Dougie looked at me like I was some total weirdo. I gave him that look and he realized what I was doing.

"Mommy told me not to talk - hiccup- to, to, to strangeeeeers..." I said as I stumbled and Dougie had to support me."

"Lara?" Mina asks. I stop and look at her.

"Asian Pride!" I mimic her cousin and use the peace sign because I knew she hated it. "No- wait...Asian Princess! Ha-ha!" I say laughing and slapping Dougie's arm.

"What happened to her?" Lena asks Dougie.

"I was driving around when I found her walking along a bad side of town. I pulled over and asked to give her a ride. And then she sounded drunk so I put her in the car and drove her here. The people in the lobby were kind enough to tell me where your room was." he said catching me as I tripped.

"Ooooh! Strong arms." I said laughing.

"Bring her in and put her on the bed." Lena said.

"Why did she get drunk?" Lena asks.

Dougie shrugs and takes me to a bed.

"Oh, she dropped her purse in the elevator." Dougie said. Haha, I actually really did forget my purse in the elevator.

"I'll get it." Lena said, "Mina, can you go to the 5th floor and get some pain reliever for when she gets back to normal?"

"Yeah sure. um...Dougie, could you watch her for like five minutes?"

"Yeah okay." he said.

"Thanks." Mina says and they walk out.

"We fooled them." I whispered, giggling.

"I want to kiss you but that would be taking advantage of you since you're drunk." he said smiling.

I lie on the bed and look up at him, "So?"

"You're drunk." he said laughing.

"Well since I'm 'drunk', you can take advantage of me."

"Well I would but I can't do what I want to do in less than five minutes." He says winking.

"Bad boy." I laugh kissing him, "Mkay, I'm kicking you out."

"What, why?"

"Because, I got to make them believe that I passed out. Duh!"