Secret Love Affair

I'm sitting here on the hotel floor, toes massaging into the soft carpet. My back is against a wall, body blocking the door. My body and sometimes the lock is the only thing holding my barrier against mina whom is leaning against the door on the other side. The door is cracked open about three inches so I could see her.

"C'mon, Lara! Let me in!" She whined.

"No." I say smiling.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Aargh!"

"No."

"Is that all you're going to say?" she asks me. I look at her through the three-inch crack and smile.

"No."

"What do you want me to do then?" She asks sliding down the door to be level with me.

"Password?" I ask. I'm only speaking in one word sentences just to annoy her.

"Lara I got to pee!"

"Not the password!" I sing. So much for my one word sentence streak.

"Please? I forgot my key!"

"Boohoo!" I say. Mina growls- if that’s possible.

"Can you give me a hint?"

"Maybe…" I say smiling.

"LARA!"

"Fine! Uh...when did I have my first kiss?" I ask. Gosh Mina can be so stupid sometimes. She didn't think to go down to the lobby and ask for another key. Sad.

"Uh...5?" she guesses.

"Wrong." I say. My first kiss was when I was 13. It wasn't the best actually. It was a little wet...

I lean my head on the wall and look at some old black and white picture of Paris while Mina guesses almost every number except for 13.

"Oh! Hey! Hey Dougie- Do you know when Lara had her first kiss?!" Mina asks desperate. My heart nearly jumps up my throat and I look through the door. What the hell is he doing here? Swimming in Arabella-infested waters!

"Uh...15?" he guessed.

"No! That’s when I lost my..." I trail off, catching my words.

Oops...

"Lost what?" Arabella asks walking in on the scene with Lena.

"Nothing!" I say slamming the door on everyone outside in the hallway.

It was silent for a moment. I slowly open the door two inches or so and these huge brown eyes are looking at me. I scream and shut the door again.

"Fuck don't do that!" I screamed at Mina for scaring me with her silent ways.

"Wait...you're not a virgin!" Lena says out loud.

"I...uh...what are you talking about?" I scream from the inside. Stupid people- one of them is bound to have a key and here we are screaming at each other through opposite sides of the wall.

"You said 'that’s when I lost' and then you trailed off. I'm smart you know." Lena said.

"Really? Because then how come no one got a key to open the door?" I ask, scrambling up and running to the couch. I gather myself into a little ball to protect myself from the glares.

Moments later, Arabella, Lena, and Mina walk in. Dougie comes in too- never noticed by Arabella.

"You're not a virgin?" Arabella asks.

"I'll tell you the truth if you don't attack me." I said sounding muffled because I was covering my face.

"We won't attack you."

"Nor scream?"

"I can't promise that." Arabella says.

"You guys are no fair." I pouted.

"Lara..." Lena says threateningly.

"Okay okay. Brian Cooper."

"Cooper? You dated him when we were 15." Arabella says.

"Who's Brian Cooper?" Dougie asks curiously. This gets Arabella's attention.

"What are YOU doing here?" she snaps at him.

"Well I was here to pick up Lara because her dad asked me to so we could meet him at the studio." he says taking an apple.

"Well just wait and don't touch anything!" She says menacingly.

"Yes, Poodle." he says taking a seat in a chair which annoys Arabella even more.

"So you lost your virginity when you were 15?" Arabella asks.

I wince at her and nod. I looked guilty but I really wasn't. The shock of losing my innocence is long-time gone.

"I'm sorry for not telling you and the others." I say pulling on the puppy-dog face.

"Damn she did the face! Fine! It's okay!" Mina said and ran to the bathroom to pee. I smile and look at Lena.

"Well...did you ever do it again?" Lena asks.

"No. I swear. It was only once!" I say asking for forgiveness.

"At least we know you're not a slut." She says looking at Arabella.

I await her verdict. Sometimes when she's thinking of a punishment, you could see the devil within her behind all that Dior perfume.

She looks at me like I'm some bad five year old in the sand box.

"Oh c'mon Arabella! You know how I felt about him!" I plead.

"What- that you were in love with him? And then, remember, 2 weeks after you turned 16, we caught him making out with Stefani Gilder- in your car?"

I briefly look at Dougie who looks shocked and Lena whose jaw was dropped. Mina's head was poking outside of the bathroom.

"Arabella...that’s too far..." I say looking like I can't believe she said that. I felt a lump in my throat. I avoid eye-contact with everyone.

Arabella seems taken aback at first as she sees me lose my posture.

Her facial expression softens, "Lara, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"No. It’s alright. I deserved that. To get some sense knocked into me." I look at Dougie, "Oh. Yeah we should get going Dougie. My dad is waiting for us." I say grabbing my purse and walking out on Arabella, Lena, and Mina.

"Lara! Lara wait! You know you're going in the wrong direction?" Dougie says catching up to me.

How could Arabella say that in front of everybody? She could've said some other snide remark but no- she had to say something that affected me the most!

"Damnit Lara wait!" Dougie says grabbing my hand as I pounded down the stairs.

"What-" He starts but I cut him off and kiss him hard.

"Okay that was random." he says awkwardly.

"What time do we got to be there?" I ask him as I leaned on a wall, grab a fist full of Dougie’s jacket and pull him towards me.

"In two hours." He said never seeing this side of me before.

"Good." I say smiling at him.

"Are you alright?" he asks me putting both hands on my arms.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said looking away. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I saw your facial expression back there. You never mentioned that to anyone before except for her huh?" he asks knowing the answer was yes. He also knew that it hurt.

"It was a long time ago." I said holding his hand, "I'm over it, and I'm with you." I kissed him.

"Just want to make you happy." he said letting my kiss his cheek and jaw bone.

"Don't worry. You have."

****

An hour or so later, after a quick kissing session and a discussion about skateboard designs over coffee in his car, I entered the recording studio all smiles.

"Hey Lara." My brother Adrien says hanging out with Danny, Harry and Tom.

"Adrien!" I say messing up his perfect skater boy hair, "Did you get the girl?" I ask sitting next to my dad.

"What girl?" my dad asks suddenly interested in our conversation.

"Nothing. Lara! You said you wouldn't tell!" Adrien complained referring to dad.

"I didn't. You just did." I pointed out, “So did you get Sydney, Samantha- whatever her name is?" I ask leaning back in a twisty chair.

"You asked a girl out?" My dad asked again.

"Oh c'mon! Why is everyone so shocked that I asked some chick out? Her name is Stacey and No." He said turning a bit pink.

"No what?" I ask.

"No, she said no. Not yes."

"Tough, dude." Tom said.

"Yeah. Girls are hard to get sometimes." Harry said.

"Not all girls are hard." I said defending all girls who fall under that category.

If Lena was here I'd have her raise her hand.

"But most." Dougie added.

"Listen Adrien, What you want to do is move on to some other chick. Act like you don't know that Samantha chick." Danny said.

"It’s Stacey." Adrien said.

"Whatever. She'll come running back." Dougie said.

"That’s not what YOU do Dougie! You, as I recall moan around and act depressed!" Danny teased.

"No I don't!" Dougie defended himself.

"Well at least he's managed to stay single for the year. I remember on our last tour, all he thought about was that Kendra girl from up north." Richard said.

"Oh that chick from the bar!" Harry said.

I choked on soda and coughed really hard.

All this Dougie and dating thing mixed in together made me sick.

"You okay Lara?" my dad asks.

"Fine. Fine. Perfectly fine." I say quickly and then changing the subject.

"So how is mom?" I ask Adrien.

"I don't know nor do I care." He said stubbornly playing with a guitar.

"Adrien!" I said hitting his head.

"What?" he asked annoyed, "she's dating some high-class snobby dude from Los Angeles!"

"Well don't get mad at her for having some feelings!" I said. I secretly knew about Jim (my mom's boyfriend). And she told me not to tell Adrien because she knew he'd flip. I'm not too fond of Jim either. He IS kind of stuck-up. He's some big time lawyer who comes from a family of wannabe Hiltonites.

"Don't be angry with your mother." Dad said. My dad’s dated a couple times but it never lasted.

I also secretly thought that he still loved my mom. But he said that they BOTH decided on the divorce so...not sure.

*****

It's around 5:45 pm now and my dad and Adrien went out for some 'father-son' bonding time.

Whatever that is.

And I'm hanging out with McFLY and I forgot, but we ended up on the topic of virginity. I didn't like it.

I sat there, legs crossed, listening to all the guys tell their stories on their first bang.

I'm not going to jump in the conversation!

No no no!

I've had my fair share of banging stories for one day thank you very much!

"Are you a virgin Lara?" Dougie asks. Oh he just had to ask huh?

"What is this- Virginity day?" I ask taking Harry's beer and drinking some of it. I always do that- take someone's beer and drink some of it.

"Is it?" Danny asks curiously. I roll my eyes and smile.

"I'm not going to answer."

"Oh c'mon! We all told our stories!" Tom said.

"Yeah and after Dougie's banging story I got a little tired."

I did not want to know about some blonde chick at a party!

"I think you don't want to tell because you're still a virgin." Dougie said, eyes twinkling. He pulled off my bring it on look!

"What! You think I'm a virgin?" I ask letting my body do the talking. He knew I wasn't, but he just wanted to challenge me I guess.

Bring it on!

Dougie nodded.

"Dude. I'm NOT a virgin!" I said.

I realized this: Around Arabella, Lena and Mina, I'm some innocent crazy girl.

And then around these boys, I'm a wild party, outgoing girl. I think having two personalities is good. Not sure about you but I like it.

"When then?" Danny asked.

"15." I said proudly. Wow- I wasn't proud earlier today.

"Okay okay- did you like it?" Tom asked.

I thought about it for a sec, "Eh. It was okay."

"Well if you ever want a better try, just ask one of us." Dougie said using his arms like he's welcoming something.

Everyone laughed and threw pillows at Dougie.

Richard's head popped in the room, "Lara, your dad and Adrien want you to go out to eat with them. They're in the lobby."

"Alright, thanks." I said grabbing my jacket Dougie gave back to me earlier. You know- the one I left in his car on our first night here.

I stopped at the door and turned around, "And don't worry Dougie, You'll be the first I call if I want another go." I smiled and walked out, leaving the four guys laughing and joking from my surprise comment.